Vibrations of Those Around You

In my last blog article I introduced the concept of "personal vibration and resonance".  This is a very wide topic, and there is lots to learn about it.  So I want to continue the theme here, focusing on the effects of other people's vibrations on us and how we can use our knowledge of this to great advantage.  You may find what I am saying a bit obscure.  If you do, bear with me.  Read this through several times and allow what I am saying here to percolate.  Even if you don't completely follow it intellectually, it will resonate with you at a deeper level and help you to achieve whatever you wish to achieve.

Just as a quick reminder, we all tend to "vibrate" in different ways, depending on how we have tuned ourselves.  There are different categories of this vibration.  At a high level we have spiritual, emotional, and mental vibrations.  Our main focus in life expresses itself in a vibration.  Our desires and ambitions result in vibrations.  The things and people we love or hate result in different vibrations.  We also have permanent vibrations (which we can still change, even though they are permanent) and temporary vibrations.  For example we may have a high level permanent spiritual vibration which results from a genuine love of everyone around us, but that doesn't stop us having "low" moments, perhaps when our spiritual battery is low, when we find it difficult to feel that love.

We can be strongly influenced by the vibrations of those around us.  This is especially the case if we are not well tuned.  The weaker our underlying "permanent" vibration, the easier it will be for people around us to make us resonate to a very different vibration.  It is also the case if we have a very strong underlying vibration and those around us have a similar vibration - then we will begin to resonate almost as soon as they approach us, will be like a sounding board to which they are applying their tuning fork.

This means we need constantly to work on two things.

Firstly we need to get our vibrations tuned properly.  What that means in practice depends on what you are trying to achieve.  If you have a big dream, and if it will cost a lot of money to achieve that dream, you need to have the right vibrations to attract the right money-making opportunities to you.  You also need to eliminate the vibrations that work counter to this - for example the feeling that becoming wealthy is in some way a bad thing.  Or if you want your life to spread love in the world, you need to ensure you are tuned to radiate that love completely naturally.  At the same time you need to be alert to ways you react to people and situations which are not in tune with this vibration of love and work on ways of changing this.

Secondly, we need to become more aware of the vibrational levels of the people around us.  If they are similar to our own vibrational levels, perfect!  Try to ensure you keep those people with you.  The closer you can get them, and the longer you stay with them, the more your own vibrations will resonate with them.  If you are trying to become wealthy and then use that wealth for good purposes, surround yourself as much as possible with others who are on that same path but, hopefully, further ahead than you.

Be aware of both the permanent and the temporary vibrations of those people.  If they drop a level temporarily, by all means try to be there for them to help them move back up.  But keep in mind all the time that you will tend to resonate in tune with them, so do not spend so much time being there for them and helping them that there is a clear drop in your own vibrations.  It is important to get this balance right.  Certainly do not become a "fair weather friend" who is happy to be there when everything is positive but who disappears the moment they have any problems.  Help them now, and some time in the future when you need some help they will probably be there for you and help you.

Start right now on both these major projects.  Strengthen your desire for what you want to achieve and work on your inner vibrations to make sure you are properly tuned to achieve it.  But also find and befriend people who are in tune with you, and start distancing yourself from those who are completely out of tune with you.  Perhaps join groups or clubs where you are more likely to find people similarly tuned.

If you do all this you should find yourself becoming far happier, achieving far more than you had previously managed, and being far more fulfilled.

Someone Is Holding You Back

If I were to tell you the biggest reason of all that you are not achieving what you want to achieve is because there is someone out there stopping you, who might that person be?

Think about it for a moment.  Is it perhaps your partner?  Maybe it is your boss - especially if what you want to achieve is an increase in your regular income!  Or could it be someone else?  Think about it for a moment.  Then list the people who come to your mind, and who you think may be holding you back.

Unless you are a very unusual person, or have not thought deeply about this, there should be several people on your list.  If there are not, take another moment out and think hard.  Add some names to that list.

The reality is most of us can identify some people out there who are holding us back.  The first step in dealing with this issue is to find out who they are.  Then you should look at the ways in which they are holding you back and what you might do to reduce or even prevent this.

If you have put your partner or spouse on the list, which will be the case for many people, you certainly have a challenge ahead of you, although it may not be as big a challenge as you think.  It is quite normal for your partner or spouse to expect you to be doing something different if you have changed what you want to achieve since you first met them - and as all of us are evolving all the time, you should expect what you want to achieve to have changed.  When you have an intimate relationship it is important to share your deep desires with your partner.  Not just your intimate desires, but also everything that makes you who you are now, which is at least a little different from who you were last month, last year, or ten years ago.  Share it and talk it through.  Be sensitive to the fact that just as it is natural for you to have changed, so it is also for your partner.  In any relationship there must be some give and take.  If there is something you are really passionate about achieving it is vital you share this with your partner and get them on board.  But don't be selfish about it.  Recognize the need for give and take.  And also use the opportunity to find out, if you don't already know, how your partner has evolved and what he or she is now passionate about that perhaps was not the case when you first got together.  It could be the case that you have both evolved so far in completely different directions that you really no longer belong together.  I really hope not.  But it is possible.  Certainly, though, do not assume that to be the case just because you have indeed both evolved in different directions.  What is important is to re-establish proper communication - because if this has happened and neither of you has spotted it then certainly there is a problem with communication and you should both look to creating more opportunities to share your innermost thoughts and feelings with each other.

If you have put friends on the list, and again this will be the case for many people if they are honest about it, the solution for each of those friends is really very similar to the one I have just shared regarding your partner.  The difference is that where you have gone in different directions, then now may be the time for you both to recognize this and go your different ways.  What is very important is that you not keep close to you anyone who keeps being negative about your goals.  They are YOUR goals, not anybody else's, so don't let anybody else draw you away from them.  You may not have to dump such a person completely as a friend, but try not to spend too much time with them if they persist in being negative.  You can choose your friends, so choose them wisely.

If you have put your boss on the list, then you may need to think again.  It is, of course, possible that your boss is negative in the same way as some of those friends you have either dropped as friends or at least are now keeping at a greater distance.  If so, then the solution is similar to the above solution, with the difference that you need to be sensitive to the power relationship.  For as long as you are relying on the income your job gives you it is not too sensible to tell your boss to leave you alone!  But if the reason you have put your boss on your list is because you believe he or she is holding you back from earning more money, then I want you to think about this more carefully.  You are responsible for the income you receive, not your boss.  Ultimately you get paid for the value you create.  If you are not being paid enough, then maybe you are not creating enough value.  If you are creating far more value than you believe you are being paid for, then you are probably working for the wrong people.  Don't just throw it all away, though.  Explore ways to get them to recognize your worth.  But ultimately, look for a good back door so you can leave when you are ready and receive a better income.  Also, recognize that you can (and indeed should) have multiple streams of income.  Your full-time job probably creates by far the biggest stream of income, but it should not be the only stream.  Work on creating those multiple streams of income so that you become less and less reliant on your job.

Now let me tell you who is the person who is most stopping you achieving what you want to achieve.  You!

Yes, that's right!  It is you!

So many people who claim to have a big "dream" simply haven't thought it through properly.  The first thing you must always do is to make sure your dream is what, deep down inside, you really want to achieve.  If it is not, or even worse if it is actually more or less the opposite of your true inner desires, it will be very difficult for you to achieve it.  In the latter case it will, in fact, be almost impossible.  You may think it ridiculous that you could have a dream that is the opposite of what you really want, but actually this is very common.  Our minds are very good at hiding desires they think are not the right thing.

Once you know for certain that you are pursuing the right dreams, the next thing you must do is stop your mind from giving you all the reasons why you cannot achieve it.  Your mind will almost certainly find lots of reasons for this, and they may sound very logical.  But the truth is that you can always be as big as your dreams, no matter how big those dreams may be.  Don't let your mind tell you otherwise.

The whole concept of the way our minds stop us from achieving our dreams is a massive topic.  There are many books and courses devoted to just this one topic.  The first step is to recognize that this is happening.  You won't correct it overnight, but recognizing the problem is the first step on the long journey to solving it.  Once you have done that, use the techniques I have given you here but also be open to reading some of those books and following some of those courses.  There is no quick fix here, but just an ongoing journey which, if you travel in the right direction, will step by step bring you closer and closer to achieving whatever it is you really want to achieve.

How to Eliminate Fear and Anxiety

Do you ever worry about something?  Do you suffer from anxiety?  Are you ever fearful?  Would you like to eliminate fear, worry and anxiety altogether?

Before we go any further, let me clarify one important point about fear.  The reason nature has given us an emotion we call "fear" is to try to stop us from getting into dangerous situations when we do not need to.  This is a good thing.  You should not try to eliminate that fear, but rather respect it.  React to the fear by doing whatever you can to remove yourself from a dangerous or catastrophic situation.  Once you have done that and know there is nothing else you should or can do, then use the techniques in this article to eliminate the fear.

Deciding whether or not you can do anything about a situation is a very important first step, perhaps the most important step of all.  If there is something you can do which may stop something bad happening, then do it!  Don't sit there worrying about what might happen if there is something you can do to stop it!  This might seem obvious, but for some reason most people never take this first step, but instead feel like a rabbit frozen in the headlights of a car about to run it over.  The rabbit could simply run away and avoid the terrible fate awaiting it, but it doesn't as it is paralyzed by the very fear nature intended to save it from that fate.  Do not become that rabbit!

Once you have thought through the actions you could take, and have taken the appropriate ones, now is the time to eliminate the fear or worry as now it is serving no useful purpose.

One method I always use at this point is to imagine whatever it is I fear or whatever is worrying me has happened.  Imagine the worst case scenario.  Now think about whatever you can do to make the best of a bad situation.  Once you have done those things, just how bad is it?  How does it compare with, for example, the suffering of people trapped in Aleppo?  Is it as bad as that?  I think not!  Accept this bad result and move on.  Don't spend too long on this, as you don't want inadvertently to invoke the law of attraction and find you have created the bad situation for yourself.  Now that you recognize there will be things you can do at the time to reduce the hurt of whatever this bad situation may be, put it behind you.  Remember you have done everything you can to stop it happening in the first place, and you have recognized it is not exactly the end of the world if it does happen, and therefore the fear and worry serves no purpose any longer.  It can be a good idea to verbalize this.  Thank the worry for having alerted you, tell it you have addressed the problem (either by changing things so it doesn't happen, by accepting the results if it does, or both), and then tell it now it has done its job it can go away.

You may think talking to a worry in this way is childish and silly, but it is not - it is actually a very effective way of disarming it.

Recognize that what you have done here is simply accept the worst case scenario should it ever occur.  Unless you have worked pretty hard to create a bad situation for yourself it is probably never going to materialize.  In 1816 Thomas Jefferson wrote the following to John Adams:

"How much pain have cost us the evils which have never happened!"

Sometimes we worry about something because it seems too big for us to deal with, and yet we also feel it is something we SHOULD be dealing with.  The answer to this is to treat it in the same way as you would treat the task of eating an elephant (sorry to all of my vegetarian friends!) - break it down into bite sized pieces and then deal with each piece one at a time.  The big puzzle may seem too big for you to solve, but there are usually small pieces you can chip away and solve, eventually making that big problem very much smaller.  While you are dealing with one piece, again address the big worry.  Again thank it for showing your there is a problem which needs to be solved and tell it that you are dealing with it piece by piece.  Ask it to go away while you are solving each piece so that it does not stop the very process it wanted you to start.

You may find just the techniques I have given you above are enough to deal with all your fears, worries and anxieties.  But there are many people for whom this is simply not enough.  They find they are still worrying about things.  Often those worries and anxieties are "nameless".  They don't know what they are worrying about.  Worrying and being anxious has become such a habit that they simply cannot stop.  If you find you are one of these habitual worriers, then read on for what you can do once you have used the principal attacks on your worries.

Schedule some time each day to practise meditation, mindfulness exercises or yoga.  Ideally you should do this when you first wake in the morning and again just before you go to sleep at night.  I am not going to go through any meditation or yoga techniques in this article as that would probably turn it into a book!  Take a look and you will find plenty of material around - including in other articles in this blog.  Perhaps even invest in some books on the subject, subscribe to a course, join a local group.  Do anything - just as long as you take some action!  What you will find is that these techniques will help you relax and your nameless anxieties will gradually melt away.

Even regular physical exercise can help.  Having a hard work-out can make those worries, the ones not related to anything you can deal with, simply melt away.

Finally, do not underestimate the importance of staying socially engaged.  The support good friends can give you should not be underestimated.  Sometimes they can help you directly with the things that are worrying you if you take the trouble to ask for their help or advice.  Even when this is not the case you will find simply enjoying good company will lower your anxiety levels for no apparent reason at all.