What is Stopping You

What is stopping you from achieving what you REALLY want to achieve in your life?

Stop whatever you are doing, including reading any further yet, and focus on this totally.  Focus on it as if your life depended on it.  In a way, it does!  If you can identify this properly you will make a massive positive change in your life.

If you are reading this paragraph you should already have identified a number of obstacles that are preventing you from realizing your dream.  No?  Then stop reading, and focus again.  Don't come back until you have listed those obstacles.

The list you have created is, I can almost guarantee, neither accurate nor complete, but it is at least a start.  What you now need to do is work on it to increase the accuracy and to expand the list.  I will give you a few ideas here of ways to do both, but don't limit yourself to what I am saying.  This project is absolutely unique and personal to you.  Nobody else can tell you what should be on your list.  Others, like me, can give you pointers, but only you can produce it.

Once you have a good, accurate list of the obstacles it is far easier to find ways to remove those obstacles, one by one.  You may not remove them all.  And you may only partially remove some, but every step you take is a step closer to realizing your dream, to having an infinitely more fulfilling and more enjoyable life.

One big obstacle that almost everyone faces is an inner blindness.  A failure to recognize when the right door has opened for you.  I am a firm believer in the power of the Law of Attraction.  What you really focus on will come to be.  The way the Universe helps you achieve this is by opening the right doors for you.  It doesn't push you through the doorway though.  It opens the door and now it is totally down to you firstly to see that open door and secondly to take action and walk through it.  Unfortunately all of us miss so many of those open doors.  The Universe does not give up on us.  When we miss one open door it opens another.  Sometimes there will be many open doors and if we step through any one of them we will be that much closer to our dream.

Often, you will find the open door is an offer from someone to provide you with something you need in order to get where you need to be.  Sometimes the offer will be completely without any cost or obligation, and sometimes it will be, perhaps, a business opportunity that does require some investment or commitment.  Be prepared to recognize and take advantage of both.

One difficulty many of us face is being able to distinguish between fake and genuine offers.  We can be held back by the phrase "if it is too good to be true, it probably isn't true".  There are very many cases where that truism most certainly applies.  If someone offers you $1 Million just for providing a means for the money to be spirited out of their country into yours I can guarantee the offer IS too good to be true!  But don't allow the preponderance of so many such fake offers to hide from you those offers that aren't too good to be true.  Usually you can rely on your intuition and common sense to decide which are false and which are true.

For example, you may find someone is offering you free access to some information or help that will take you closer to your goal, and when you review what is on offer you can see it is probably being done in order to attract you to something that you WILL have to pay for if you want to take advantage of it.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with this.  There is a vast pool of really genuine and helpful information out there that you can take advantage of for free if you wish.  Don't hold back, cynically assuming it cannot be worth anything if it is being offered for free.  Recognize that it has real value.  The reason it is being offered free is because the business or person offering it believes the cost of doing so is a worthwhile marketing expense to have the chance to put something else in front of you that is NOT free.  If you have been reading my blogs for sometime, and especially if you are one of my e-mail subscribers, you will know I do this all the time!  Most of what I suggest my subscribers and blog readers look at is completely free.  I have already checked out the people behind the offers and know that they are genuine, and therefore am happy to risk my personal reputation by passing on those offers.  If you have taken advantage of any of them you will know that there is genuine good information and help there that can bring you so much closer to your goals, and that although what is then being offered for sale may get you to them quicker you do not necessarily need to take advantage of it unless you genuinely believe it is the right thing to do.  Very many of my subscribers take advantage of the free offers but never then feel obliged to spend any money.

So drop that cynical "it can't be true" attitude and see any such genuine offers for what they are.  The cynics will avoid them all, congratulating themselves that they have not been caught by some scam or other.  But in doing so they have thrown the baby away with the bath water.  Yes, be vigilant - recognize and avoid scams.  But be ready to take advantage of any genuine free offers that can take you closer to your goals.  I personally do this all the time and do not regret doing so in any instance.

Offers of this kind are, of course, by no means the only open doors.  Take off your blinkers and look for all those other open doors.  Genuine offers of help from friends, for example.  The right person being there for you at exactly the right time.  Don't assume there must be something wrong if there is an open door to help you get you where you need to be.  The Universe has opened that door for you, so step through it!

Another obstacle you may identify is lack of financial resources.  In other words, money!  We all have this obstacle to achieving at least some of our dreams.  Note it down, but don't allow it to depress you.  Be open to ways the Universe may help you get the financial resources you need.  Also, be aware that sometimes we don't actually need money to get where we want to be even though when we first look at it we think we do need money.  Be open to other ways of achieving the dream.  Again, this comes down to looking for the doors the Universe is opening for us.  Everything comes back to those open doors.

Finally, I promised to remind you how to increase the accuracy of your list of obstacles.  To a degree I have already done this if you follow everything I have said above.  But what you also need to do is meditate on your goals.  I have said this before and make no apology for saying it again.  Meditating on the goal will help you determine whether it is a genuine goal, but it will also help you find ways of achieving it.  Ways that would otherwise never have occurred to you.  Ways to avoid what you thought were obstacles preventing you from getting there but are really just figments of your imagination.

What is stopping you from achieving your goals?  Probably the biggest obstacle is YOU!  Focus on those goals, make sure they are genuine, and then simply be determined to achieve them.  Do this and you WILL get there!

The coldest hour is just before the dawn

Have you ever felt at the end of your tether and decided that you are never going to reach your goal and perhaps you should simply just give up?

Probably this has happened to you on a number of occasions.  You may have had a lot of goals when you were younger but one by one watched them fade into the night.  Don't despair if that is the case.  You are not alone.  It happens to most of us.

But also, don't believe that it is inevitable.  It is not.  It can actually only happen if you allow it to happen.  If you are determined to reach your goal no matter what, then reach it you will.  Eventually.

Sometimes the goal itself is wrong.  As I have said in many other posts we often believe we have one goal but when we dig deep we realize our true goal was something quite different.  Our true goals form deep within us, and as they pass up from those depths they can get distorted.  Sometimes they end up distorted beyond all recognition.  So it is important every so often to sit and meditate, reflecting on your goals, and try to see through any distortions to the true goal deep inside.

Once you know you are focused on the right goals, recognize that there are likely to be many obstacles on the way towards those goals.

If you think about it, you probably wouldn't want it any other way.  If there were no obstacles it wouldn't really be a goal at all, would it?  For example, for most of us eating dinner isn't a goal.  It is just something we do.  Something that is hopefully enjoyable.  But not a goal.  For most of us there are no obstacles to eating that dinner.

Those obstacles are there ready to be challenged and overcome.  The stronger your desire to reach the goal, the greater your power to overcome the obstacles.  If you really want to reach that goal, and if it is the right goal for you, then you have all the power you need within you to overcome the hurdles and even pass through apparent solid walls between you and the goal.

Sometimes we are closest to the goal when it seems further away than it has ever been.  Whenever things seem bleak and whenever it seems that no matter what you try you can never reach your goal, always remember that you are probably the closest you have ever been to reaching it.

Have you ever heard the expression "The darkest hour is just before the dawn"?  It was introduced by Thomas Fuller in 1650.

Scientifically this is not true, but the metaphor here really is true.  Perhaps we should change it to "The coldest hour is just before the dawn", as that conveys a similar meaning and is also factually correct!

It is so often the case that everything seems dark, bleak and cold immediately before a radical change when everything becomes light, colourful and warm.

Only very recently I felt I was near the end of the possibility of reaching an important goal.  I have been struggling for several years to reach it, knowing it is a long term goal that will take many years to reach.  I say "struggling", which sounds negative, but most of the time it has been a positive "struggle" not a negative one, so perhaps I am using the wrong word here.  But only a few days ago it really seemed to me that I had reached a dead end.  The road seemed darker and colder than it had ever been before.  Did I give up?  No!  I prepared for the possibility that I had been trying to reach the wrong goal and that I might have to re-define it.  But then my natural inner positivity made me also accept that perhaps the negatives I saw all around me were illusions rather than the goal being an illusion.  The moment I reached that point I took an action to move forward one more step, a step into the dark and apparently up to a sold blocking wall.  When I did this it was as if a hidden door was opened for me.  I stepped through and found myself the other side of that wall and am now well on the way to achieving this long term goal.

So when you feel all is conspiring against you and that you can never reach your goals do not give up.  Yes, re-evaluate your goals and make sure they really are the right goals - but this is something you should always be doing anyway.  Once you have reassured yourself that you are headed in the right direction, relax in the knowledge that there is an all-powerful, beneficent force out there that will provide the ways and means for you to reach your goals as long as you keep on working towards them.

Hurdles and Obstacles

What obstacles have you identified which are preventing you from achieving what you want to achieve in life?  Are there any such obstacles?

I assume there are, as otherwise you would have achieved your dreams wouldn't you?

Some people may answer this by saying "I don't really have any dreams".  If this is you, then you are kidding yourself.  Somewhere within you, maybe deep within, there is a dream waiting to be released, waiting for you to see it and fill it with emotion.  The obstacle in this case is your failure to recognize you even have a dream.

Many will say something like "dreams are only for dreamers, and I am no dreamer!"  They say this with pride.  As though the rest of us who do have dreams are to be pitied or are perhaps idlers and fantasists.  I say the same to these people - deep within you there is a dream waiting to be released, waiting for you to see it and fill it with emotion.  The obstacle in this case is your failure to recognize you even have a dream.  Probably because you are too frightened to admit that you might have one.  You are afraid if you admit this to yourself you will only fail to achieve your dream and then this will make you unhappy.  Does that sound familiar?

And most of the rest do have dreams they want to achieve, but have pulled up at the first obstacle.  That is a bit like a hurdler running along the straight and then pulling up at the first hurdle and saying "I cannot go any further because there is a hurdle in the way!"  Yes, there is!  And the idea is to jump over that hurdle, not simply stand there looking at it and wishing it wasn't there.  Wishing it wasn't there won't make it go away!  So if you just stand there miserably looking at the hurdle you will never make any progress towards the finish line for your dream!

How can you jump over the hurdles that are bound to be there on the road towards your dream?  How can you pass around the obstacles you are bound to confront?

The answers are actually in the questions.  Jump over the hurdles.  Pass around the obstacles.  Really, it is as simple as that!  When you start to do this you will find many of the hurdles are really not very high.  They just look it because they react to your initial fear or despair by appearing to grow to an impossible size.

Your obstacle, your hurdle, is Oscar Zoroaster.  Who is that? you probably ask.  Oscar Zoroaster, the conman from Omaha, Nebraska who took the name "Oz" and ruled the kingdom of Oz by pretending he was far more powerful than he really was.

Be like Dorothy and her friends and challenge your obstacle, your hurdle, your Wizard of Oz.  Challenge it and usually, just like the Wizard in that immortal story, it will shrink away and you can continue on the the yellow brick road to reach your dream!

The Reason I Cannot Realize My Dream

Did you once have a dream but then life's knocks came along and you gave up on that dream?

Is there something you would really like to achieve, but you have never gone for it as you didn't believe it was possible for you?

The sad truth is that most people, if they are honest, would admit to this.  "I always wanted to ..., but ...!"

Everyone's "but" is slightly different.  Maybe even unique.  But I guess some of the biggest "buts" fall somewhere into one of the following categories:

•   I don't have enough money
•   Nobody living where I do could do it
•   I am not educated enough
•   I am too old
•   I am too young
•   I tried it before and I failed
•   I don't have the right body for it

One of the best ways to become successful, to live your dream, is to find someone who has already done what you want to do and then copy what they did.  Not do the same things, but see how they approached the challenge and then do likewise.  Or simply to become inspired by others who have achieved something great, even if it is very different from what you wish to achieve.

  I don't have enough money

This is perhaps the biggest obstacle perceived by many people who give up trying to be successful.

Some millionaires were born wealthy.  But many were not.  Take John D Rockefeller for example.  His father was a con artist who more or less deserted his family.  His mother did the best she could to bring up her family in the absence of her husband.  They were not "dirt poor", but they were certainly not rich and John had to struggle to make good.  And make good he did!  John D Rockefeller was the founder of Standard Oil, and created a number of charitable foundations which have done enormous good in the world.  Not bad for the son of a snake oil salesman!

Or take a look at the early life of the Canadian singer, Shania Twain.  Her family was so poor that they couldn't afford to pay for heating; Northeastern Ontario, which is where they lived, gets very cold in the winter.  Shania went to work when she was just eight years old so that her family could afford to eat.  Despite this inauspicious start in life, Shania went on to become one of the highest selling female musicians of all time and is now worth several hundred million dollars.

  Nobody living where I do could do it

Too often, people blame their environment and say it makes it impossible to achieve their dreams.  In many ways this is linked to the excuse that they cannot achieve them because they do not have enough money.

Have you ever heard of the heavyweight boxer, Jack Johnson?  Jack was an African American, living in Texas in the late 19th and early 20th century.  His parents were former slaves.  He was living in a State where at the time African Americans were hardly even regarded as human.  But this background did not stop Jack doing what he wanted to do, which was to box.  That was his dream, and he lived his dream.  He became the world heavyweight champion in December 1908.

Oprah Winfrey is a more recent example of an African American from Southern USA rising to wealth and fame.  She was born into a very poor family in Mississippi.  Oprah is now known as the "Queen of All Media", and is believed to be North America's only black billionaire.

  I am not educated enough

Benjamin Franklin's family was not wealthy enough to pay for more than two years of school, so he never graduated.  He did not let that get in the way of his education, though, and he took every opportunity he could to improve himself, especially through reading lots of books.  Amongst his achievements are the invention of the lightning rod, the urinary catheter, and bifocal glasses.  He also happened to be one of the founding fathers of the United States.

Albert Einstein took so long to learn to speak that his parents thought he had a learning disability.  He did not do well at school, and eventually dropped out at age 15.  When he tried to get into Zurich polytechnic he flunked the exam.  And this was one of the most brilliant scientists of the 20th century!

Richard Branson suffers from dyslexia.  This meant he performed very badly at school, as in those days dyslexia was not really recognized and schools did not make allowances for students with this condition.  Nevertheless, Richard Branson went on to create the Virgin brand, and realized his dream to create a large and successful airline.  In his autobiography he wrote "My interest in life comes from setting myself huge, apparently unachievable challenges and trying to rise above them".  That is something Richard Branson has certainly achieved, setting a great example for anyone who feels challenged by their educational ability.

  I am too old

Kathryn Joosten was a highly talented actress who has won two Emmy Awards.  When did she become a successful actress?  When she was nearly 60.

Frank McCourt achieved fame through his novel "Angela's Ashes", which gained him the Pulitzer Prize.  He did not realize his dream of becoming a published author, though, until he was 65 years old!

Have you ever used a Thesaurus?  If so, you can thank Peter Roget who came up with the concept in the first place - at the grand old age of 73!  Not only did he have the "obstacle" of age, but he also suffered from Obsessive Convulsion Disorder.  Instead of seeing his mental condition as an obstacle, Roget used it to his advantage to turn his dream of a Thesaurus into reality.

  I am too young

Nobody should see being too young as an obstacle, but unfortunately many still do.

There are countless examples of very young people achieving success.  Mozart began composing at age 3 and had his debut at age 4.  Blaise Pascal created an extremely important mathematical theorum, Pascal's Theorum, when he was 16.  Arfa Karim, a Pakistani girl, became a Microsoft Certified Professional at the age of 9!

Whatever it is you want to achieve, whether young or old, you should not see age as an obstacle.

  I tried it before and I failed

Stephen King received rejection letters from 30 publishers for his first novel "Carrie".  When it was finally published it had an initial print run of 30,000, and the paperback edition which was published a year later sold over 1 million copies!

Thomas Edison is probably one of the best examples of someone who simply kept trying no matter how many times he failed.  Edison didn't invent the light bulb.  Alessandro Volta could be said to have invented it 78 years before Edison began his work.  What Edison DID invent was the first electric light bulb that would last long enough to be a practical replacement for gas and oil lighting.  It seemed an impossible task.  Everything he tried seemed not to work properly.  Did that make him give up?  No!  Instead of becoming discouraged, Edison said "I have not failed.  I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work!"

  I don't have the right body for it

Franklin Roosevelt became President of the United States when he was permanently paralyzed from the waist down.  In those days people were much less tolerant of disability and Roosevelt believed, probably rightly, that he would not be voted into office if people realized just how disabled he was.  He did not see this as an insurmountable obstacle, though, but just a challenge to be overcome.  He gave speeches from a sturdy lectern that he could lean on and appear to be fully mobile.  His strategy worked, and Roosevelt became perhaps one of the most famous Presidents of all time.

Stephen Hawkin is another great example.  Hawkin is so fully paralyzed by motor neurone disease that not only is he unable to move but he can also only communicate by moving a single cheek muscle attached to an electronic device that turns the movement into speech.  He was first diagnosed with the disease when he was 21, and was told he would not survive his 25th birthday.  As of the date of this article, Stephen Hawking is 73 and is still working.  His work includes a development of Einstein's theory of general relativity, and numerous publications popularizing his passion for cosmology.

Nick Vujicic was born without arms or legs.  He is now a very well known international motivational speaker, with a particular interest in helping teenagers overcome their problems.  This he can do very well - after all, if Nick can achieve so much without arms or legs, then how much more should I be able to achieve without such a major disability?

  So, what is your excuse

I hope you have been inspired by these very brief stories of people who have realized their dreams against what must have seemed impossible odds.  The one thing all these people share is that what others would have seen as insurmountable obstacles, they saw as stimulating challenges.

The next time you are tempted to say you are facing too difficult an obstacle to achieve your dream, just read through these examples again.  That obstacle may be very real, but it is probably not as challenging as the obstacles any of these people faced.

Whatever your dream may be, no matter your circumstances, just go for it!

Overcoming Obstacles to Success

by

Monika Shaw

Has this ever happened to you? You begin a program, a project, a task or even a diet with the best intentions telling yourself that this is the day you will begin to achieve your goal, then - Pow! An unforeseen setback, roadblock or obstacle hits you that you did not see coming.

We never see these "accidents or obstacles" that come into our lives as anything positive or helpful. We look at them as detours to take us off the path we have committed to be on. It happens to almost everyone at some point in our lives; setbacks, obstacles - whether career, financial, or health-related, obstacles are unavoidable and we find ourselves out of sync with our goal. How do we stay on track? How do we overcome these inconvenient and untimely obstacles that appear unannounced and attempt to keep us from achieving success in the goals we have set?

I have found that the first and most common obstacle that most people can identify with is that many times, there is no clear definition of a goal. This alone can cause you to sabotage your road to success before you even begin. Without a clear goal, a destination to direct your efforts and energy toward, you find that you have created your first obstacle to keep you from achieving success. Clarity of goal is difficult to identify in a few short sentences if you really have no idea what it is that you want to achieve.

Right now, before you continue reading, do this exercise; Think about what it is that you want to achieve. What is that burning desire, that goal you want to achieve? Set your mind to addressing and answering this question. Take the time to write it out, then edit, edit, edit so that you own it in your mind, and can say it clearly in a few short sentences. Doing this forces you to be specific and will remove a lot of external "sidebar goals" that can draw you away from your main focus or objective.

Next, recognize that you may be an obstacle to your success. Do you tend to whitewash some of your negative habits as 'that is just the way I am'? Be honest and realistic with yourself. Identify these habits so that you can watch and recognize them as you set out on your journey toward your goal.

Most people, if you were to ask them would readily agree that fear and doubt are two of the major obstacles that keep them from pursuing their dreams, desires, or their goals. But let us focus beyond that and get more specific.

To help you identify your habits, here are some common obstacles that people face:

• Lack of focus 
• Unclear goals 
• Not knowing where to begin 
• Procrastination 
• Interruptions 
• Lack of self-esteem 
• Inability to let go 
• Hoarding (hanging on to everything) 
• Negative thinking or Negative Self-Talk

Perhaps you may find your habits in the above list, or have different ones - only you know for sure. But is that really true? Sometimes, it is wise to seek outside help from people who truly care about your well-being and success. Ask them to be honest with you and help you identify negative habits, traits, characteristics that impede your ability to achieve your success. This can be difficult if you have a sense of pride, low self-esteem, or think you have all the answers. However, it is also important to make sure that you ask only those individuals that you trust implicitly to give you honest answers.

Once you have identified your list of personal habits or obstacles:

• Write them down then suggest at least three possible solutions to help you overcome them.
• Flip the negative trait to find a positive trait or characteristic and begin to train yourself to think and act to implement and reinforce that positive habit.
• Finally, accept the fact that achieving your goal properly and with successful results will take time.

Overcoming obstacles that have been deeply etched in your life patterns are not going to change overnight. Do not allow negative thinking or negative self-talk to keep you from achieving your goal. Maintain a clearly distilled focus to overcome the identified obstacles will empower you to achieve your goals with success. Keep in mind also that an obstacle can sometimes be the very thing that rivets your from mediocrity, complacency, or the "Freeze Zone" as I call it. When you use an obstacle as a tool to help you overcome a negative characteristic, negative self-talk, or even self-sabotage then it no longer can be your enemy to defeat you. This is a powerful weapon you can utilize to disarm those hindrances that attempt to rob you of your successes. You are a winner and you have everything within you to reach your goal.

About the author:

Founder & First Lady of The Winning Woman Network, Monika Shaw; a CEO over a multi-million dollar company, Entrepreneur,Public Speaker, Trainer, Coach, Breast Cancer Winner, and a mentor to women.

Her passionate vision is for women to be empowered, equipped and released into their talents and gifts to become the success they can be - by giving themselves permission to do so.

From her personal and business experiences, she shares rich wisdom, encouragement and refreshment to the spirits of women who need to hear that they can be who God designed them to be - a Winning Woman! 

An Author, Speaker, Coach, and Mentor to many women over the years, she brings a message of hope, empowerment and the tools to make real the potential each woman has within to be a Winning Woman!

For more information on inviting Monika for Speaking Engagements at your company, convention, retreat, radio or television shows, and training events go to http://thewinningwomannetwork.com