Why Worry?

Do you ever worry?  If so, why?  And should you?  If not, how can you stop worrying?

If I am asked the question "do you ever worry?" I always answer "no".  I will explain in a moment why I can say that and how you can too, but strictly speaking it is not 100% accurate.  I do worry - for a few seconds while the worry works its true purpose.  And what is that purpose?  Worry has the same purpose as pain - to make me aware that there is a problem and that I should try to do something about it.

Just like pain, when you are aware there is a problem and have done whatever you can to deal with it, the worry has served its purpose.  But also just like pain, the worry normally lasts until the problem has completely gone away - and sometimes even beyond this.  It makes no difference that you have responded to your body's signal and that continuation of the pain or the worry is no longer required.  Unless you have learned techniques to stop it, the pain or worry just goes on and on.

In the case of pain there are mental techniques you can use to reduce or even eliminate it, or rather to reduce or eliminate the unpleasant effects.  Most of us either don't know those techniques or find them too difficult to use when we are distracted by severe pain.  But there is medication we can use which can be very effective in numbing the pain.  Likewise for worry.

One problem with medication is that if you use it too much you become dependent on it, and at the same time it can become less and less effective.  It is much better if you can deal with the root of the problem, in this case the worry, rather than taking drugs to dull your reaction to it.

Once the worry has done its job of making you aware that "Houston, we have a problem!" the first thing you must do is address that problem.  It would have been very foolish of Jack Swigert, the Apollo 13 astronaut, simply to have ignored the problem, pretended it didn't exist, and hope it would go away.  He did the right thing and took action.  It would be very foolish of you, too, to ignore the problem when a worry arises.  You must focus on what the worry is warning you about.  Identify the problem, look at what action or actions you can take to address the problem, decide on the most appropriate actions, and take them.  This should always be the first step.

Having taken the appropriate actions you no longer need the worry.  But unless you do something about it that worry will remain.  At this point it is not only unnecessary but also usually counter-productive.  It can leave you like a rabbit caught in the headlights and stop you taking the necessary actions.  And remember what usually happens to that rabbit if it doesn't take immediate action!

The way I always deal with "post action" worry is a technique I have used since childhood, and I can guarantee it has always worked for me.

The technique, in a nutshell, is very simple.

First list the possible end results of whatever it is that is worrying you.  What are the most devastating possible results?  How likely are they?  Cross out any that are very unlikely.  Then focus on the most devastating of those that remain.

At this point you are now going to do something counter-intuitive, especially if, like me, you believe in and practise the Law of Attraction.  You are going to imagine that this has already happened.  What changes will that mean in your life?  Is there anything you can and should do to react to those changes and make your life a little better?  Don't skip past this step, worrying (see that word again?) that you will invoke the Law of Attraction and create the very problem you want to avoid.  Yes, if you stop there, like that rabbit, then you WILL invoke the Law of Attraction.  You are NOT going to stop there, but you do first have to experience this situation in your mind.

Now answer this question.  Just how bad is life for you now this bad thing has happened?  How does this compare with other bad experiences you have had previously?  How does it compare with the bad things you have seen around you or on the news that have happened to others less fortunate than you?  Once you have taken the actions you have thought about to limit the damage, then how bad is it?

Perhaps I have been fortunate, but in the 50 years I have been doing this I have never yet come across a problem that still seemed completely overpowering once I have analysed it in this way.  Not even when I was diagnosed with cancer.

Once you have accepted the possible consequences of whatever has been worrying you, go back to the action you have taken or have resolved to take which will probably make the problem go away anyway.  Recognize that because you have done this, the bad experience you have just analyzed will probably not happen anyway.  Focus on that action.  Make sure you do everything possible to help it counter the identified problem. 

Or if there is no action you can and should take, then focus anyway on the possible positive outcomes.  In my experience, most of the things we worry about never actually happen, or if they do they cause much less damage than we expect.  So focus on this.  Now you ARE using the Law of Attraction, so don't skip this step either, as it is making it far less likely that your life will be affected badly by the problem.

Once you have taken all these steps, you have done all you can.  The worry has done its job.  Thank it for making you aware of the problem, and then simply allow it to slip away.  Believe me, if you follow these step properly then slip away it will.

And that is it!  This is a complete strategy for dealing with worry.  Not something I just read about and thought it sounded like a nice idea, but a strategy I have used successfully for the past 50 years.  Use it properly, and watch your worries melt away!