Intuitions about Romance

by Judith Orloff M.D.

When we're looking for love (or under its intoxicating influence), we often miss seeing extraordinary signs and messages that pop up in our daily life to give us clues as to whether we're on the right track. However, if you can slow down enough to recognize and listen to your intuitive intelligence, it can reveal truth, warn you of danger, or help you understand people and relationship situations in new ways.

From Second Sight, here are five types of intuitive experiences you may encounter, and what they can teach you about your love relationships.

Body signals.

Your body has many ways of getting your attention. It could be goosebumps when a date feels just right or says something about you that rings "true." Or it might be your hair standing up on the back of your neck when a creep replies to your online dating profile.

How to use it in romantic relationships.

Most commonly referred to as a "gut reaction," your body's response to the world around you is often instant--quicker, in fact, than your conscious thought. Next time you sense your body is trying to alert you to something, check in with it. Are your shoulders tense? Is there a knot in your stomach? Or do you feel energized and excited? When you learn to read your body signals, a whole new type of information will be available to you. What's more, you may be able to avoid getting involved with destructive, unhealthy lovers, or be curious to pursue a really good guy who, at first blush, doesn't seem to be your "type."

Déjà vu.

This is when you feel as though you've had this exact conversation before with someone--even if it's someone you've just met--or you've been to this place before and know what's around the corner and up ahead, even though that's impossible.

How to use it in romantic relationships:

Instead of thinking it's strange and then moving on, don't let the experience go unremarked. Discuss it with a trusted friend, or write it down. Bringing a déjà vu experience that happens in the context of a relationship into the open energizes it, acknowledges its significance, and enables you to find out what it's trying to tell you or where it's trying to lead you. When it comes to romance, déjà vu can be a powerful affirmation that you're doing just what you're supposed to be doing in the moment. Or conversely, it may be a way of telling you to pause, think, and reflect on where you are right now, before proceeding ahead willy-nilly into a relationship you'll regret.

Synchronicity.

This is the experience of perfect timing, such as when you're thinking about a song right when you hear it on the radio, or the computer guy you found in the yellow pages turns out to be someone you had a mad crush on in college.

How to use it in romantic relationships:

Stay aware and look for synchronicity everywhere. Such moments let you know that you're in the flow--in the right place, at the right time. See if you can uncover its hidden significance. Were you meant to bump into this old love? Is the song "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" trying to tell you something about that "bad boy" you're crazy in lust with at the moment?

Seeing beyond.

This is when you're tuned in to an event that's happening right now, but in a different place. For example, you think of a long-lost boyfriend, and then he sends you an email in that instant. Or, you call your guy at work and ask him to pick up a pizza. Turns out there was a deadly accident on his regular route home.

How to use it in romantic relationships:

Your entire body--not just your brain--acts as an intuitive receiver, so the more conscious you become of your whole body, perhaps through a discipline like yoga, the more likely you are to tap into realities outside of your immediate setting. They will come to you in snapshot-life flashes--a taste, smell, sound, or a feeling in your body. Jot down your impressions. The better you get at tuning in, the clearer the messages will become. When two people are really "clicking," such experiences become even more commonplace, such as having intuitive flashes about your lover's health, or about where you two might be living in five years.

Intuitive empathy.

This is when you "pick up a vibe" from another person. For no apparent reason, you suddenly sense a person's deep loneliness, or you feel hostility coming from a person who is smiling at you.

How to use it in romantic relationships:

Being sensitive to other people's nature is a valuable skill--but it comes with perils. If you feel drained after meeting someone at a party, for example, pay attention so you can avoid giving him your phone number. Learning to "read" other people's feelings will improve your romantic relationships, as long as you don't "take on" others' moods and emotions. For example, when you can sense your boyfriend had a bad day, or is tense after talking on the phone to his mom, you can ask him questions to get him emoting. Such empathetic communication deepens and enhances love partnerships.

The Power from Within

According to the "Dean of Personal Development", Earl Nightingale, only 5% of the people who want to be successful in life actually achieve it.  In this talk, Earl tells us exactly how we can be one of those 5% rather than the 95% who never make it.

Explaining the Unexplainable

Belinda Farrell is a Huna practitioner.

When Belinda was forty eight she collapsed with herniated discs and spinal nerve damage.  Threatened with paralysis by her medical doctors if she didn’t have surgery, Belinda instead chose to apply the ancient Hawaiian healing practices she had been learning for the past three years which are covered in this book.  Her back completely healed including childhood scoliosis.

Belinda retired from stunt car driving and, for fifteen years has been sharing these healing practices with others. She offers Reconnective Healing and Huna in Santa Cruz, Ca. and takes clients to Hawaii to teach Huna and swim with wild spinner dolphins.  The dolphins help us to dissolve fear with an open heart expanding our reality through their vibrational tones so that we experience our deepest joy.

In March she will be publishing a book called “Find Your Friggin’ Joy”.  In this book she will show her readers how to clean the “plaque” from their souls and reach the Higher Self.

Belinda has kindly allowed me to print an excerpt here from her book – Explaining the Unexplainable:

As a civilization we’re moving forward faster than ever before. If you don’t prepare yourself on the inside, you will likely be caught up in a whirlpool of fear and unresolved emotion. The news is filled with disasters in our outer world: earthquakes, floods, military uprisings, government breakdowns, corporations crumbling, real estate devaluation, oil spills, gas prices, water shortages and on and on. We are tenants living on Mother Earth temporarily. She will right the wrongs done to Her over time. How you handle what is happening in the world will reveal how SECURE you feel inside yourself. It is said that we are living in the DREAM we have made by our COLLECTIVE THOUGHTS. When we stop believing in the dream it will change its structure. When people stopped believing in Communism in East Berlin, the Berlin Wall fell. The majority of people now seem to be freeing themselves from conventional ideas that don’t work any longer. If it doesn’t feel good at the truth level, you need not participate. No one wants to be ruled by a dictator, and now the people are standing up and saying “no more.” As things change in our outside world, we begin to see how it is possible to change our inner world, especially if our ideas are somewhat outdated.

For example, take the way we’ve been conditioned to think about healing. The general consensus tells us to go to a doctor when we have an illness. But I’ll bet when we were young, the majority of you had your “boo-boo’s” kissed away by a well-meaning adult. We knew the boo-boo would heal by itself in just a few days. How many of us will know with conviction that we will be fine again when illness strikes.

As we grow older and develop more conscious skepticism, we lose touch with our connection to our UNCONSCIOUS MIND ... the part of us that RUNS OUR BODY. We already talked about how our unconscious mind serves as the computer to our conscious mind’s commands. So if you really want to communicate with the unconscious and change the negative patterns you’ve been accumulating, then begin to listen to what you’re saying to yourself. Are these things you would want anyone to hear? What’s your inner script? When you are aware enough to be able to write those phrases down, you’ll see what direction your unconscious mind is taking and why your body has been doing what it’s been doing.

Eric, 58, in a wheelchair, came to me for a healing session. At 19 he broke his neck in a car accident. He told me he knew he had set up this accident long before it happened. Unconsciously, he wanted to know what it felt like to be paralyzed. Whatever the unconscious believes to be true becomes your reality. Now Eric was ready to heal himself from feeling like a victim. He has been able to unplug from the burden of “victim thinking” thus freeing himself to be lighter. Now, he invited his Higher Self to begin the healing.

Martha had cancer when she came to see me years ago. At the time I was doing only hypnosis and past-life regression. At five years of age, Martha’s mother died suddenly. As a child unable to understand death, Martha decided that she was to blame for her mother’s death. Developing cancer was her way of punishing herself and ultimately joining her mother. In the regression, Martha’s mother revealed herself and the reason for her death, which had nothing to do with Martha. Finally getting the closure she needed, Martha’s body began to respond to the medication given to her to stop the cancer. Martha recovered from the cancer. Our unconscious desires are running our body. Getting in touch with the way they have been programmed will open our eyes to how we want to proceed. The unconscious also holds the key to reach the Higher Self, which ultimately knows how to heal our illness.

As a Huna Practitioner of ancient Hawaiian healing, I learned about the three Selves of Man and the role that the Higher Self (which is in all of us) plays to change our DNA and heal the physical body. Forthe ancient Hawaiians, the ultimate goal was to reach the Higher Self. Clearing the unconscious mind of the negative thought-forms from the past, you can then send your “desires” up the pipeline to the Higher Self for activation.

I experienced this myself 16 years ago, when my spine collapsed with nerve damage. My son Brian was living with me in Tiburon and carried me to bed when I could no longer walk. I was told by medical doctors that I wouldn’t walk again without surgery. Brian and another well-meaning friend urged me to go the “safer surgical route.” Not wanting to be cut, I decided to put the Huna recipe into action. Within four days of actively doing these processes, my back recovered completely ... even healing my scoliosis I had since birth. Shocked that I could walk again and feel normal, Brian was more fearful of his own “inner cleansing process” which he was not ready to comprehend. Personally, it felt like I had won the lottery, only better. I could heal myself together with my Higher Self. These Huna practices really worked! That brought me lots of friggin’ joy! I decided to devote my life to teaching others how they could do the same.

So how do you explain the unexplainable? How do you explain calculus to a 3-year-old? Reaching our Higher Self is what some of us aspire to in hopes of receiving Divine Truth, yet it can belong to the realm of the unfathomable, to our limited conscious mind. Healing my back was nothing short of a miracle to me. Yet, the recipe was available and I followed it, as I clearly believed in it.

And now, if you are ready, if you make the choice to believe, we have for you the cleansing and the ancient cleaning practices and techniques that can bring back to you – if you are willing – your friggin’ joy.

You can find out more about Belinda Farrell and her books and courses at her website:  www.HunaHealing.com

  

How to Become Successful – the First Step

As a researcher and promoter of personal development and success systems the commonest question by far that I hear is “How can I be successful?” How to be successful is the driving force for most people with whom I come into contact. Not surprising really, as this is my niche and my area of special expertise.

Usually I answer with another question. “What does ‘success’ really mean to you?” This is not a cop-out. I believe this question must be answered before I can even begin to outline what I believe this person must do in order to be successful. I do not believe anybody can really be successful unless they know exactly how they personally define success.

I have met people I would describe as very successful, but who have very little money. Many successful people are not well-known. Some have no close family and few if any friends.

So, if success is not defined by wealth, fame, family situation, or friendship, then what on earth does define success?

The answer, again, is that success can only ever be defined by the person who wishes to achieve it.

The first step to becoming successful is therefore to set aside some quiet, uninterruptible time, and begin to define for yourself exactly what you mean by success. You should make sure you have at least an hour for this, and preferably more so that the exercise can be open-ended and continue for as long as you find necessary. I can promise you that if you truly want to be successful this will be the most valuable hour or two you have ever spent.

This should initially be a brainstorming session. The concept here is that you should write down everything that comes into your mind when you hear the word “success”. Do not limit yourself to things you think it should be. You are trying to arrive at your own definition of personal success, not what you have read as someone else’s definition. Anything goes here. Do not be judgemental – if the thought occurs then write it down. Be prepared to fill quite a few pages here and to spend a good twenty or thirty minutes, not just a couple of minutes filling a single sheet of A4!

When you have spent a minimum of twenty minutes doing this (and keep going well beyond if ideas are still popping into your head) you can begin sifting through those ideas and crossing out ones that are not relevant. Also look for ones that are just repeats or variants of others; keep the most relevant and cross out the others.

You should now put your scribbled lists aside. In fact, turn the paper over so you cannot see anything you have written. On a clean sheet of paper write in large, bold capitals:

WHO AM I?

Don’t try to answer this. Just read it, then sit in absolute silence for at least another five minutes.  Ten, if you can manage it. This should be a form of meditation. If you are used to meditating on a phrase, then meditate on that question. If not, don’t worry – just sit there in silence.

When the five or ten minutes is up, turn over your list of words and phrases that came into your head when you thought about “success”. Start a fresh list and write down some words and phrases that now seem to resonate with you as being a start of your definition of success. These words and phrases may come from your brainstormed list, but you may find there are some completely different ones that now come into your head.

What you are trying to do here is to make sure your own personal definition of “success” is truly aligned with your own inner “you”. Only when your definition of success is properly aligned in this way can you really start to become truly successful.

At this point, start trying to formulate a sentence or two from this new list. This sentence will be the starting point of your own personal definition of success. It will probably be quite different from anything anyone else will ever write. That is quite natural, as this is extremely personal, and not some definition foisted upon you by the media. Treasure it! This definition, I can assure you, is one of the most precious things you have, as it will be the starting point of your true success.

Your definition of success will evolve over time, and in a few years from now may be quite different from what you have just written. But it will be a true definition, and one you can now be happy to go out and seek.

Good luck!

Investing in Yourself

If you are interested in personal development it is important you commit to investing in yourself.  No matter what it is you want to improve, no matter what you want to achieve, it will almost certainly require an investment or will be much better and be achieved much quicker with the right investment.

Start by listing the areas of improvement to which you wish to commit.  This can be in a very wide area, and I am not limiting myself at all to one particular niche.  Have a look at my previous article about the Top Ten New Year Resolutions.  All ten are perfectly acceptable self improvement goals, and you can probably add quite a few more to this list.

Take a look around and see what resources are out there which could help you make serious inroads on those improvements you desire.  Examine them carefully.  There are a lot of scams out there, but there are also a lot of diamonds if you look carefully enough.  Try to find at least one for each of the areas on your list.  Don’t worry at this stage about how much money they may cost.  All that should concern you right now is whether you believe they will help you achieve your goals better or faster, or both.

Once you have come up with the list of investments you want to make in yourself and are reasonably comfortable that, at least for now, this is a fairly complete list, the next step is to work out how you will pay for them.

One problem many people have, though, is that after they have paid all their monthly bills there is no money left to invest in themselves.

What may surprise you, though, is that no matter how much you earn you will almost certainly still find there is no money left after paying the bills.  How can this be?

Parkinson’s Second Law

The answer lies in Parkinson’s Second Law.  You have probably heard his First Law – “work expands to fill the available time”.  But perhaps you missed the Second Law – “expenditure rises to meet the available income”.  Parkinson’s Second Law is often applied to bureaucracies and they way they can needlessly spend our money.  But it is equally applicable to personal expenditure.

The corollary of Parkinson’s Second Law is that if you look carefully at your spending you will always find cuts you can make without impacting noticeably on your overall lifestyle.

Your first step should therefore be to examine your budget very carefully.  Pretend you are a business which is not making profit.  Step back and look at that business as if you were the finance director (or maybe the bank manager!).  I think you will be surprised by some of the cuts you could make and still continue to enjoy life just as much.

Pay Yourself First

Once you have done this, regard yourself as your own primary creditor.  You owe yourself a lot of money, so start paying it back.

Pay yourself first.  Before you pay anyone else.  Do not feel guilty about doing this.  Every day of your adult life up to now you have paid everyone except yourself.  Now it is your turn!

How much should you pay yourself?  Well, that depends, of course.  It depends on many factors.  Not least of which is how much you managed to save off your budget – make sure at least half of this goes to you.  Some coaches suggest it should be a minimum of 10% of your gross earnings.  But again I stress this depends on your own circumstances and budget.  Just don’t allow it to be whittled down to almost nothing!

Put it in savings and investments that you resolve not to touch except when investing in yourself.

Create a Second Income

Whether you work for someone else or have your own business you should consider ways of creating a second income.  You can then reserve most of this new income to invest in yourself (well, the profit on it - as there will always be expenses).

One way you can do this is to set up an online marketing business.  There are some major advantages of choosing this route rather than, for example, finding an additional part time job somewhere.

The first advantage is that you will be completely in control.  You can invest as much or as little time as you like.  As your business grows you may decide to give up your "day job" and spend all your working hours moving your internet business forward - but that is entirely up to you.  There will be no boss looking over your shoulder telling you to speed things up or do things differently.  Of course, you should also recognise this can be a disadvantage - you will need to have some good self-discipline to ensure you spend enough time doing the right things.

The second advantage is linked to the first.  You do not have to work on specific days or at specific times.  You can choose when to do this work.  If you wake up in the middle of the night and cannot get back to sleep you can sit at the computer and do something to move your online business forward.

The third advantage is that once you have set up your business properly it will begin to generate profits for you even if you do not put a lot of effort in to grow it.  You will need to continue doing some work in order to maintain it, so I do not believe it is correct to call it "passive income", but it should certainly generate you high profits for not a great deal of work as long as you have built it correctly.

Be aware, though, that as with any other business an online marketing business will require you to invest time and effort.  Do not be misled by claims you will often see that suggest this is a miracle "instant millionaire" formula.  It is not!  You can certainly become very wealthy if you choose to do so, but this will not happen over night.

You will also probably find there will be a few false starts before you get your own formula right.  Ideally you should take advice from an internet marketing coach who has been there and done that and who can stop you needing to re-invent the wheel yourself.  This will not be cheap, but it will save you making costly mistakes and ultimately ensure you reach your goal faster if you choose the right coach.

Invest in Yourself

Once you have started this habit of paying yourself first, and have perhaps additionally created your second income, start to invest with this money.  Not in company shares.  Not in bricks and mortar.  You are going to invest in something far more valuable than that.  You are going to invest in yourself!

Top Ten New Year Resolutions

As a personal development researcher I am always interested to know what it is people most want to achieve.  At this time of year many people crystallize their hopes and dreams in New Year Resolutions.  I was therefore fascinated to see the list, published by the University of Scranton last month in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, of the top ten resolutions people made last year:

1    Lose Weight

2    Get Organized

3    Spend Less, Save More

4    Enjoy Life to the Fullest

5    Staying Fit and Healthy

6    Learn Something Exciting

7    Quit Smoking

8    Help Others in Their Dreams

9    Fall in Love

10   Spend More Time with Family


I imagine most of my readers can identify with at least one of these resolutions, if not more.  Even if you have not made any of them specific New Year Resolutions you would probably be happy setting several as  personal goals if you believed you could achieve them.

When you look carefully at this list it is quite obvious that several of these hopes and dreams belong together.  For example losing weight and quitting smoking are both very good goals for someone who wants to be fitter and healthier.

I think the list could be narrowed down to improvements in the following five areas, all of which are aspects of the field of personal development and success:

1  Finance

2  Health

3  Personal Relationships

4  Time Management

5  Dreams and Ambitions

Some of these areas are covered in the four free e-books I provide to all subscribers to my mailing list.  If you have not yet joined my list and received your free books please do so right now so you can move further forward in achieving your own goals.  You can do this simply by entering your name and e-mail address in the box just above on the right of this page.

I want to work with my readers to help them achieve improvements in all these five important areas.  Over the next few months I will cover different aspects of each of them, both in my blog here and also in the additional ideas I provide in e-mails to my subscribers.  Not all these ideas will be relevant to everyone, but you can be certain there will be some that are perfect for you and will help you achieve the personal goals you have set yourself.  Keep your eye on your mailbox for the idea that is perfect for you.

New Year Message

I would like to wish all my readers and followers a very happy, prosperous, and successful 2013.

If we are to be happy, prosperous and successful then first we must do our best to make others happy, prosperous and successful.  No matter what religion influences you, or even if you do not subscribe to any religious belief at all, I am sure you agree with this sentiment.

With this thought in mind I would like to reproduce for you, with the kind permission of The Divine Life Society, a New Year message issued many years ago by its founder, Sri Swami Sivananda.  May we all apply its key inner meaning to our own lives this year in the way we personally interpret it, whether we are Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, of another persuasion, or of no persuasion at all.

New Year's Message from A Divine Life Mission

by

Sri Swami Sivananda

Children of God!

A New Year of new life has come. Let every day of this New Year of Divine Life be filled with the thoughts of God who is in all and everywhere. A life sacrificed on the altar of Divine Mission, a life dedicated to God is a life of success, peace and joy. On this New Year day surrender yourselves to the Lord who is all around us here, and lead a carefree life of harmony and bliss.

Every day of this New Year should be spent in egoless service, all-embracing love and devotion to God. Stay your minds in Him by offering fervent and sincere prayers daily. Now is the time for you to start a spiritual life, not tomorrow. Japa, Kirtan and meditation are great healers of ills of life. Repeat the Name of the Lord. This indeed, is the way to God’s Kingdom.

One who does not yield to the wrong suggestions of the mind, who is untouched by the commotions of the world, who is pure in mind and heart, who aspires only for the divine good and peace, that is everywhere, enjoys all blessedness here and now. One who forgets himself in the good of others has the Divine Support. If you lead such a selfless life meditating on the Essence of God in all, you will attain Knowledge and Illumination.

Again and again, I exhort you to illumine your deportment with the glow of Love. Love is the mother of all virtues. He that has a heart abounding in Love has known the Lord and scaled the heights of wisdom. Love and God are not different. The Way of Love is the Way of God. It is the way of unity, power and prosperity.

Having become heroes by intense spiritual Sadhana, work with exhilarating charm and ceaseless vigour for the Divine Life Mission in order to show the Light of God to all those who are in darkness and thus end their miseries once for all. To spread the divine knowledge is the only way to cure the diseases of today’s world. With faith in God, live a divine life and awaken people to the spiritual values so that they may enter into a haven of blessedness on this very earth.

May the blessings of sages and saints be upon you all! May God bless you all!