Saboteur

Have you ever wondered why it is that just as you are about to achieve success someone grabs the prize before you?  A little like the final stage of a race, where you are ahead of the field and then someone (who has perhaps been pacing better) comes out of nowhere and runs past you in the last few seconds.

Or sometimes do you find someone seems to work against you just after you have reached your goal and achieved success?  Completely destroying that success?  An unknown someone.  Invisible.

Does everyone seem to conspire against you, stopping you getting what you really want out of life?

These are very common problems, and probably most of us face them from time to time, if not all the time.  So perhaps we should try to find out who is working against us and why.

Well I think I can answer that question for you right now, even though I know very little about you, your circumstances, and what you are trying to achieve.  The person working against you is YOU!  Not any of your friends or enemies.  Just YOU.

Even when it seems to be clear who has done this, when you can see the person grabbing the prize before you, the culprit is STILL you, and only you.

How can that be, and why?

In the case of someone snatching the prize before you there are probably two factors involved here, both controlled by you.

Firstly, to use a horse racing analogy, you are pulling on the reins to slow the horse down just as the winning post comes in sight and the first prize appears to be within your grasp.  You hesitate.  And he who hesitates is lost.  For some people this is pretty obvious when they stop and think what has happened.  They don't mean to give up right at the last moment, but that is exactly what they do.  Others, perhaps you included, will object and will deny outright that they are slowing down just as it seems they are going to win.  But I can almost guarantee that is what is happening!

Secondly, in most cases you are mistaken in believing there is only one prize, or only a few prizes.  You may think that is the case, but it probably isn't.  Yes, if your goal was to become the president of the United States and someone trumped you to the post (sorry about my sense of humour!), there was only one prize there and you missed it.  But in all likelihood you had the wrong goal.  Maybe the goal should have been to become the president of the United States at some point in your life, in which case the prize has not been snatched away from you unless you are going to die before the next election!  More likely the goal should actually have been something very different anyway, as most of us misinterpret our inner desires, cloaking them in something that is vaguely related but not our true goal - and if we could truly see our real goal we would realize there are no limits there and that it doesn't matter if someone "snatches" the prize ahead of us, as there are many identical prizes.

In the case of the invisible saboteur, if you think really carefully you will realize that saboteur is you.  But why?  Why do you slow down right at the end of the race?  Why do you give up when someone else gains a prize but there are prizes on offer for everyone?  Why, when you finally achieve whatever it was you wanted to achieve, do you sabotage your own success, giving away the prize you worked so hard to achieve?  Why are you a self-saboteur?

There are a number of reasons for this, some of which simply need a change of state.  A change from a permanent negative attitude to a positive one.  Recognition that the world is your oyster and that the only limitations to achieving what you want to achieve are set by you.

But perhaps the biggest reason is that the "inner you" doesn't want change.  And if you are successful that will mean a big change.  Too big for comfort.  So the "inner you" pulls you back into your comfort zone.  Why?  Well it is a basic biological survival instinct.  You are alive, so what you have been doing up to now has ensured your survival.  But if you change things, then you are moving into the unknown, and your inner being believes there is a risk that you are moving into a danger zone.  Evolutionary pressure very naturally tries to steer you away from that danger zone.  Either by making you slow down and perhaps even stop before you reach it, or by making you return to "safety" when you get there.

Just recognizing this may be enough to stop this saboteur (you) in his or her tracks.  But if not, then at least you now understand the source of the problem and can enlist some external help (perhaps from a lifestyle coach) to re-train you so you don't keep missing or even throwing away the success you deserve!

The Meaning of Life

What is it that you want to achieve in your life?

This is probably one of the most important questions you can ever ask yourself.  It goes to the very root of another question so many of us ask, perhaps without expecting an answer - what is the meaning of life?

With such an important question you should not simply accept the first answer that comes to mind.  Not even if you believe you already know what you want to achieve.  Spend some time thinking deeply about this achievement.  How will you feel as you begin to achieve it?  What will change in your life and in the lives of those around you as this begins to happen?

Make sure as you do this that everything feels really positive.  If it doesn't, then there is something wrong.  You may think that this is what you want to achieve, but the reality is that there is something quite different that you really want, which is expressing itself in a different way for some reason - as it arises from the depths of your mind and spirit it appears to change, until when it comes to the surface it looks completely different.  So if you do not feel really positive about this achievement you must dig much deeper to find out what your true desire is.

What you should find, once you have properly identified what it is you want to achieve in life, is that it is something that can grow and develop.  It is something that you can begin to achieve, if only in a very small way, very soon after you have identified what it is and have started working towards it.  That is why I have tried to avoid using the word "goal", which you maybe expected to see earlier in this article.  It is more a way of life, of moving along a particular path, than something that you get and then find there is nothing left to do.  It really does become "the meaning of life" for you.

If you have identified this path, this growth, this ongoing achievement correctly you should also be able to identify some "milestones" along the way.  Milestones that show you have made progress but are not at the finishing line.  By definition, none of those milestones can be the finishing line, none of them can say "zero miles to go", as what you are aiming for is a continuous growth, not something at which you can finally arrive.

You should try to identify both distant and very close milestones.  This is important.  Have a distant target in mind, and try to make sure that what you are working on now brings you closer to that distant target rather than further away.  But also have some close targets so you can feel fulfilled in the "now" rather than only in the distant future.

So, what IS the meaning of life?  This is a question that has perturbed many very intelligent men and women over many centuries.  When you have completed the exercise I have suggested in this short article, the answers arrived at by eminent philosophers will probably now seem mundane and unimportant to you.  You KNOW the one answer unique to you.  You know the meaning of your life and know that now your life can be fuller and better every day that passes.

Self Sabotage

Do you have a goal you want to reach and it always seems just out of your reach?  Or perhaps, even worse, even as you reach the goal you find yourself slipping back.  It was right there in your grasp and then it was gone again.  Or you achieve a goal, are happy that you have got there, but then you find the whole world is conspiring against you to take it away again.

For the big goals in your life maybe this doesn't apply.  They are so big you are nowhere near them yet, so they are not "just out of reach" and you don't find you have achieved them and then they are taken away again.  But you will probably agree this does happen to you with at least some of your smaller goals.  Perhaps those goals you need to reach in order to get closer to your big goals.

So who is that goalkeeper who is so efficient at keeping your ball from passing between the goal posts?  Whoever it is, they must be really good at goal-keeping, as you never seem to score!

If only you could make that goalkeeper switch sides just as you are approaching the goal, how easy it would be.  You would achieve exactly what you want to achieve!

Let me reveal exactly who that goalkeeper is.  It is you!  Yes, that is right!  You are the one who is making it impossible for you to score your own goals.  And I agree that goalkeeper is good.  Really good!  As for switching sides?  Well, now you know you are the one standing in the way and stopping you getting to the goal it should be easier for you to reverse this.  You don't need to make the goalkeeper change sides, just recognize he or she has mistakenly been playing on the wrong side all this time.

Enough of the sports imagery though.  Let's have a closer look at what is happening and what you can do about it.

You are guilty of self sabotage.  This is not another metaphor I have made up, but a recognized psychological issue.  We all do it.

Some of us do it in very noticeable ways.

If, for example, you are trying to get healthier and lose weight you may find you are also a "comfort eater".  You have a bad day at work, so the moment you get home you attack a big bowl of ice cream.  You feel a bit depressed (perhaps even depressed about the fact that you are not losing enough weight) and so you reach for the biscuit tin to give yourself some comfort.

Or you are trying to reach a goal of cutting your credit card debt, perhaps even losing that debt completely.  You have the right plans in place and know you can get there.  Then you suddenly find you have gone on a shopping spree, which has dug a deep hole in your debt reduction strategy.  It is almost as if a different person came along, grabbed your credit card, and put you right back to the beginning again.

I have known sales people, good sales people, who have gone along to one of their most important, big sales ever and have completely screwed up the sale.  Not because they were nervous.  Not because they didn't know how to swing the sale.  But because they found themselves saying things that they knew would mean their prospective client would not buy.  Why did they do this?  Not because they no longer believed in what they were selling.  Not because they thought it was wrong for the person in front of them.  They still believed passionately in the product or service they were selling, and they knew it was right for that person.  They seemed just deliberately to sabotage their own sale.  Why?

I have known business owners who, just as their business was really growing and starting to give them the return they had always dreamed of, started taking actions that any good business consultant could have told them would destroy the progress they had made in the business.  They didn't do this because they hadn't taken the right advice from a business guru.  They did it even though if they had stopped and thought carefully about what they were doing, they would have known it was a disastrous strategy.  So why did they do it?

The answer in all these cases is self sabotage.

Your own self sabotage may not be as obvious as these examples, but I can almost guarantee somewhere along the line you are guilty of committing self sabotage.  And that may be the very reason you have not yet reached your desired goal.

It may be as simple as knowing the right way forward but allowing yourself to go in a different direction.  If you are reading this blog it is very likely you understand very well the concepts of positive and negative thinking.  You know if you focus on the negatives you will never get there, yet still those negative thoughts keep coming into your mind and you don't seem able to stop them.

Why we self sabotage is a deep and complex subject.  I could write a whole book about it, and I guess there are a number already written.  But there are just a few reasons behind most examples of sabotage.

Perhaps one of the commonest reasons is that although you think you want to achieve the goal, deep inside you are afraid of getting there.  You may be afraid of changes it will inevitably trigger in your lifestyle.  Maybe you have got into a comfortable rut and subconsciously you want to hang onto that comfort even though you know it is a rut and you cannot afford to stay there.  You may recognize that once you reach your goal many of your "friends" will be jealous and will no longer want to be your friends.  Notice, though, I put "friends" in quotation marks.  The reality is that your true friends will be happy for you if you do achieve what you want to achieve.  Those who are jealous were never really your friends in the first place and you are better off without them!

Another very common reason is that you have some doubts, which may be genuine concerns, and then you surpress those doubts.  But you have not rid yourself of the doubts, just repressed them.  They are still there, and they are now making you sabotage your efforts to reach your goal.  Instead of repressing them, you need to recognize and address them.

Linked to this is what I, and many other coaches, refer to as "blocks".  Often these arose many years ago, perhaps in your early childhood.  They are usually irrational, but that doesn't stop them making you sabotage your progress towards your goals.  The key to dealing with blocks is to recognize they are there, to identify them.  Sit quietly, focussed on your goal, and allow repressed doubts and objections to arise.  This might not happen immediately.  It might not even happen the first few times you meditate in this way.  But keep trying and you should find they do eventually arise.  Even better, let one of the many good coaches who specialize in "blocks" guide you through the process.

There are many reasons for self sabotage, and there are many ways to counter it.  But the very first step is to recognize that, just like everyone else, you are guilty of sabotaging your own progress from time to time.  Once you recognize this you can work on unearthing the reasons and then finding out how to remove them.

Burdens

Most of us recognize that there are hurdles to cross if we want to obtain anything worthwhile.  Sometimes they are massive hurdles, but if we want it enough we will find a way over them.

What is less well known is the "burdens" each of us carries.  Before you say "I have no burdens" let me say that you would be a pretty unique person if you had none at all.  Well, you ARE unique - we all are.  But there are very few people in the world who have no burdens making it more difficult than it should be to reach their goals.

I first came across the concept of this kind of burden in John Bunyan's "Pilgrim's Progress".  The pilgrim, struggling to reach his goal, is carrying a massive pack on his back.  A bit like a soldier doing a "yomp" - you know the kind of exercise I mean, where some poor guy is struggling across difficult terrain with a bergen on his back containing 40 kilos of probably completely unnecessary equipment.  Sometimes there may even be bricks in the bergen just to increase the weight.  At least the soldier knows he is carrying this and he is doing so for a purpose - particularly to increase his endurance.  In the case of pilgrim, he wanted to get rid of his burden but had no idea how to do so.  He knew he had to get rid of it or he would never reach his goal.

We are all carrying burdens like this.  Unlike Pilgrim, most of us do not even know they are there, but that doesn't make the burden any lighter.

Some of those burdens are doubts.  We are ready to achieve our goal and believe we can do so.  But deep within us is a hidden doubt that we will ever get there.  The "doubt" burden is very heavy.  It is a bit like a new recruit putting 50 kilos in his bergen when he hasn't even practised with 20 kilos.  You must dissolve this burden by affirming daily that you have already achieved your goal, and knowing it is now simply waiting there for you to recognize it.

Other burdens are beliefs that what we are trying to achieve is wrong, or sinful in some way.  Again, this is usually a hidden burden.  As I have indicated in other blogs, you must work on this one by first meditating on your goal.  As you do so, see what feelings arise.  It could be that the inner feeling you had was right.  Perhaps this is not something for you.  But you may also find that those feelings are illogical.  They may have been planted there many years ago, perhaps when you were a child.  In fact there is strong evidence that some of them could have been planted there even further back than that.  When you identify a false belief of this kind I suggest you follow a ritual to get rid of it.  Begin by affirming your goal and associating it with a good feeling.  Then visualize the wrong belief as a chain tying your hands.  But it is really a weak chain.  Feel yourself breaking the chain by moving your hands upwards and outwards.  See the broken links of that chain falling to the ground, and then feel so grateful that this false belief has been destroyed.  Finish your meditation (for that is what it is) with an affirmation again.

I believe there are also other burdens preventing you from reaching your goals.  These burdens are what Franz Bardon called "astral larvae" in his book "Initiation into Hermetics".  You could also think of them as evil spirits.  Personally I do not see them as evil as such, but rather fairly unintelligent entities in the astral realm.  Whether or not you view them as evil spirits or astral entities that are neither good nor evil they are still something you don't want around you.  There are rituals you can use to protect yourself from astral larvae, some of which are largely based on Paul's letter to the Ephesians in chapter 6, verses 10 to 18.  You may also find Dion Fortune's book, "Psychic Self-Defence" helpful.  Alternatively, use exactly the same technique as I have suggested in the previous paragraph.

Work on removing your burdens and you will be surprised how much easier it is to reach your goals.

I have given links above to buy "Pilgrim's Progress", "Psychic Self-Defence" and "Initiation into Hermetics" if you feel any of these could be helpful.  The links are for payment in US dollars.  If you prefer to pay in £ sterling, use this link to "Pilgrim's Progress", this one to "Psychic Self-Defence" and this one to "Initiation into Hermetics".

New Year Resolution

Did you notice the title of this article is "New Year Resolution" rather than "New Year Resolutions"?  There is a very good reason for this.

The majority of people fail to keep their resolutions.  Many have broken most or all of them before the first week of the New Year has finished!  Why is this?  Why do New Year's Resolutions simply not work for most people?

The reason for this is that most people view New Year's Resolutions as something fleeting.  Something not really intended to last much beyond the holiday season.  They make a whole series of resolutions without any serious intention of getting them to work.

If you really want this year to be better for you than last year, don't fall into the trap of making a bunch of resolutions you are not highly motivated to keep.  If you fall into this trap it is most unlikely you will keep them.  You will feel guilty each time you break another resolution, and you will reinforce the idea that New Year's Resolutions simply do not work, making it even more difficult in future years to make and keep meaningful resolutions.

Instead of having a long list of resolutions you are doomed not to keep, why not just have one New Year Resolution?  Just commit to changing one thing in your life, one thing that will make a real difference.  It is so much easier to tackle one resolution at a time.  There is not really any need even to call it a resolution, especially as New Year's Day has already passed.  Instead, call it a goal.

You should find just renaming your New Year Resolution a goal will make a real difference.  Subconsciously you will be far more committed to achieving it.  Also those around you will probably have a very different attitude.  If you call it a resolution it is only human nature for people to wait to see how long it will be before you break it.  Not at all an encouraging attitude!  But if you call it a goal then you should find at least your real friends (and I include family in this description) will be only too pleased to help you achieve it.  I have heard it said that as a result you are 10 times more likely to succeed.

Sit down right now, or rather when you have finished reading this article, and decide what aspect of your life you would truly like to change.  Something you really want with all your heart's desire.  Choose well and you will be highly motivated to achieve it.

Write down your goal.  Writing it down makes it far more real.

If you really want to succeed, then advertise your new goal.  Post it on Facebook.  Tell your friends.  Now you are really committed.  The people around you will expect to see some results, so do not disappoint them!

Once you have made this commitment draw up a plan of attack.  Write a detailed plan, including mini goals with timescales to achieve them.  Or perhaps just enter the timescale for the first mini goal, with the others to be filled in as you achieve each mini goal.

Post updates in social media.  This will encourage you to keep going, and will also probably generate further encouragement from your followers.

Use any tools you may find helpful to keep you focused on achieving your goal.  If you subscribe to my newsletter you will see many such tools, and some of them will be the perfect fit for you.  You can subscribe to my newsletter here and at the same time get four free e-books which will also help you along the way to your goal:  www.beallican.com.

Once you reach your goal it is then time to pick the next one.  Don't worry if it is not yet New Year.  Hopefully you will achieve more than one goal in a year so don't wait until the next New Year celebrations before working on a new goal.  Within a few years you will find you have achieved far more, and are probably far happier, than would have been the case if you had stuck to the tradition of setting New Year's Resolutions.

Credit for image:  Jenny Rollo, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia

New Beginnings

Have you ever looked at yourself, who you are and the life you are living, and said "I wish things were different!"?  If so, then this article is for you.  Things can be different.  All you have to do is find out what you want and then start working towards it.

Start with a blank sheet of paper.  Forget about all the baggage you have and start writing about the person you would like to be and how you would like to live.  Don't think about any of the negative, the hurdles, the things that currently stop this happening.  Just write down how you would really like things to be.

At first you may find yourself sitting there, pen in hand, a blank sheet in front of you, and no idea what to write.  Don't worry, that is very common.  For some people it may be that they really don't know what they want.  For others it may be they want so much they don't know where to begin.

If you simply don't know where to begin, then simply start writing.  It doesn't matter where you begin.  Just capture all those thoughts as they come to you and write them down.

If your mind is a complete blank, then just sit quietly for a while thinking about nothing at all.

You may find a trickle of thoughts about what you want begin when you do this.  If so, start writing them down as they come to you.  If the trickle turns into a gush, keep weriting, and if it seems too powerful a gush then don't worry but simply do what I have said a couple of paragraphs above.  Sometimes, though, the trickle will peter out.  Don't worry, just repeat the exercise with a still mind and keep repeating it until either you have a full page or the gush begins.

Some people will find even when they sit quietly for a few minutes no ideas at all come to mind.  If this happens to you, don't panic.  Quiet your mind again and then think back to all the times you were really happy.  Go right back through your life as far as you can remember.  Don't write anything at this point.  Just keep remembering those good times.  Start to feel them rather than just remember them.  Feel a warm glow starting deep inside and then filling you as you add more and more of those good times.  It is almost like building a fire within yourself, a fire bursting with joy.  Then, while you are on fire with those memories, start writing them down on one sheet of paper.  When that paper is full, take another piece of paper and use this to write down what you want to be.  Use those memories to help you, but now you are writing about what you want to be and your life to become rather than what has happened in the past.

When you have filled your paper with future goals, go through it and find the ones that seem most important to you.  Be careful when doing this.  You are not choosing the goals you feel you should have but the ones that really resonate with you.  Many people find this quite a surprising exercise, with goals that they would never have considered previously coming right to the top of the list.  Don't lose the list, as you will need to come back to it later - perhaps even years later.  But take two or three of the main goals, or maybe half a dozen or so, depending on the nature of those goals, and write them down on a separate sheet of paper.  Don't write them as a future goal but as something already achieved.  For example, if you want to be really fit and healthy you should write "I am really fit and healthy", not "I want to be really fit and healthy".

Focus on each of those key goals.  Think about steps you can take now to get closer to them.  Notice I have not said "to reach them".  Just "to get closer to them".  If you think hard there will always be steps you can take towards your dream, even if that dream seems impossible at the moment.

And that is how you create a new beginning.  It is not rocket science.  Every day is really a new beginning if you are open to the right leadings from within.  I hope I have inspired you to take those important steps in the right direction so that you too can have a fresh start, a real new beginning.

Personal Development Tips

I am often asked if I have any tips I can give on how best to organize personal development.

The field is massive, and there are so many things you can do!

Try to begin with the end in mind.  I say "try" as the reality is none of us really knows where we will end up, and usually when you look back after many years of personal development you realize the journey has been quite different from what you initially envisaged.  But it is important at the outset at least to have a rough idea of what your goal may be.  Without knowing that you will not really know the direction you should be going, and without knowing the direction you will probably choose the wrong tools.  It would be a bit like starting on a journey, trying to follow a map, but not actually knowing where you want to go!  So spend some time thinking about what you want to become.  No limits.  Write down all your ideas as they come to you.  Then when you have enough written down try to feel which ones seem right for you.  This should help identify the right direction of travel for you.

When you are thinking about what you want to become, don't be frightened of aiming for the stars.  We are all made of star dust anyway, so aim for those stars!

That's for the big picture.  Long term, don't accept any limitations.  There are no limitations.  Or, rather, the only limitations are the ones you create for yourself.

Now you know where you are headed, start to think about the steps you can take to move in that direction.  These can be very small steps.  In fact, they should be.  They are things you know you can achieve.  You probably have no idea how you are eventually going to reach your long term goal, but that doesn't matter, as you will eventually reach it if you keep taking the right steps in that direction.

Keep an open mind.  You never know when the next opportunity is going to knock or which direction it will come from.  Often it is entirely unexpected.  Also opportunities will often appear and you will fail to spot them.  Do not be discouraged by this.  The more you open your mind, the more you get focused on what it is you want to achieve, the easier it will be to start spotting those opportunities.  You will certainly miss some, but that is not the end of the world as (contrary to what you may have read) similar opportunities will arise again.

Join groups of similarly minded people.  Ideally they will be people nearby, but this is not essential.  If there are no such groups near you then look for "virtual" groups on the internet.  Gain both encouragement and new ideas from the groups.  Ask others what tools they have used to achieve their results.  You will be surprised at how much information you can get and how helpful those new friends can be.

The corollary is to avoid, where possible, people who try to discourage you and tell you that you will never achieve what you are trying to achieve.  There are many such people around, and they are really toxic.  You do not have to put up with this - just avoid them.

A lot of what you need will be available for free.  Take advantage of this.  You will be amazed at just how much good free information is out there.  If you subscribe to my newsletters you will find masses of such free help, as I spend a lot of time looking at what is available and finding out what is the most helpful.  If you have not already subscribed, go to www.beallican.com right now to claim some free personal development e-books and join my newsletter list.

What you will also find, though, is that as you start to develop in a particular direction you will probably have to start paying for further help.  View this not as a cost but as an investment.  The most important investment you will ever make - an investment in you, your future, and your happiness.  I recommend you start keeping aside 10% of whatever you earn to use as an investment in you.  Start right now, before you even know what you will need to invest in - put this money aside, hopefully earning a bit of interest, so it is ready to use when you need it.

Don't get confused by the huge variety of material out there.  Often you will find very similar systems offered by different people and organizations, all promising to help you reach your goals.  As long as the system is good, just go with whichever feels right to you.  There are many paths to the same destination.  As for whether or not it is good, do some research first.  Or let someone prominent in the field search through everything and come up with selective recommendations - which is what I do for my subscribers.

Enjoy your journey.  Remember that you will never reach the end, as your goal will start to change as you begin the journey and well before you reach it you will find you have come up with more goals even further ahead.  So take pleasure from the journey itself - otherwise, what is the point?

Finally, do not become discouraged.  I can promise you there will be setbacks.  That is simply a part of the rich tapestry of life.  Accept the setback, see what you can learn from it (that is very important!) and then move on.  If you adopt this attitude then even the setbacks can be regarded as an essential part of the great journey you are taking, as they teach you essential lessons.

Wherever your personal development journey is taking you, bon voyage!

Motivate Me!

How powerful is your motivation?  How easily can you pump your motivation up when you really need it?

I am sure you understand the need for motivation.  If you are trying to lose weight you know it is pretty much impossible unless you are highly motivated to lose it.  Without that powerful motivation you will always be tempted by the food and snacks you know you shouldn't eat.  Without that powerful motivation you will always find an excuse not to do your workout today.  Whatever it is you are trying to achieve, motivation is usually one of the keys to success.

If motivation is a key to success, what can you do to pump it up?

The answer I have found is to daydream.  Yes, you read that right - daydream!  I put myself in the position I will be in when I have achieved my goal.  Put myself there and really feel what it is like.  Not just for a few seconds, which is how some people pay lip service to this concept, but for as long as it takes to feel a real change in my thinking, emotions, and even my body.

You do need to prepare for this daydream though, otherwise you may find it goes nowhere.  So the first thing you should do is start to list all the advantages of achieving your goal.  Make this list as wide and extensive as you can.  See if you can produce 100 reasons why you want to achieve it.  That is probably a very tough target, but keep working at it.  You will probably find the first dozen or so ideas come quickly, but then they peter out.  Don't give up at that point, as you will also probably find some pretty powerful reasons in the later batches, and they may be the very reasons that will motivate you.  Those later reasons will probably be less directly connected to your achievement than the earlier ones, but that is ok as long as there is a link.  Keep going and find those really powerful reasons for achieving your goal.  Then you can have your daydream.

Keep repeating this process.  Add more reasons to your list.  Add pictures which illustrate the great changes in your life that will appear when you achieve your goal.  And keep dreaming.

Which goals should you use this process with?  Ideally with all your goals.  But you will find the greatest motivation will come when you use it with your long term goals, the ones that might seem impossible to your friends and family if you shared them.  Your short term and medium term goals are steps along the route to your long term goals, so motivate yourself by daydreaming about your life when you have achieved those long term goals and then remind yourself that achieving those small goals will get you closer to your dream.

You will not necessarily find you are highly motivated the first time you try this exercise.  You may have a long history of poor motivation to counter.  But try it for a few weeks and I am sure you will be astounded by the difference it makes.  When you have established it as a habit you will find it much easier to continue it, not just for the initial goals you used it for but for new goals you set yourself.  You will reach the point where the moment you set yourself a new goal you immediately feel the glow that comes with achieving it, and you will instantly be motivated to do whatever it may take to get there.

What will motivate me?

Work at this daydreaming exercise and I know that will motivate you!

The Declaration of Independence

On 4th July 1776 the Continental Congress approved the final draft of the Declaration of Independence.

To achieve independance from Great Britain, the United States had to go through a lot of hard struggle and pain.  At times it must have seemed an impossible challenge.  But no matter how impossible it looked, they didn't give up.  They had a clear goal they were determined to reach, and reach it they did.  And the starting point was the Declaration of Independence.  Putting down on paper very clearly and precisely what it was they wanted to achieve, and particularly why they wanted to achieve it.

Putting down in writing exactly what you want to achieve and why you want to achieve it is a key step in achieving any goal.

Firstly, there is the "what".  Sometimes we think we want to achieve one thing, but when we commit pen to paper and our goal takes shape we realize that goal is something a little different from what we had imagined.  Fleshing out our goal this way is a very important step.  Otherwise we may find we are struggling to achieve something that later we decide is not so important - in which case we will probably give up the struggle.  Think very carefully about your "what".

Secondly there is the "why".  This is very important in providing the right motivation when things seem to be going wrong and the goal seems further away than we had originally imagined.  If this really is a key goal for you then I can pretty much guarantee you will face such crises.  Without strong motivation it would be so easy to give up at that point.  Read the Declaration of Independence and see just how much of it is about the "why" rather than the "what".  A lot of thought went into that "why".  Think really hard about your own "why".  Think about how much better life will be for you and your family when you have achieved your goal, and put that down on paper.

Imagine the founding fathers had decided not to bother writing the Declaration of Independence.  Without the power of that document providing inspiration and motivation, would Washington have managed to keep the militias fighting when supplies dried up and the challenge seemed impossible?  Perhaps, but it would have been a lot more difficult and perhaps he would not have succeeded.  

Make sure you have your own Declaration of Independence which shows clearly what you want to achieve and why, and you should find it much easier to achieve that goal.

With thanks to Thad Zajdowicz for the image of Thomas Jefferson signing the Declaration of Independence.

How to be successful

"Lord, I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" Mark 9:24

The other day one of my subscribers told me he had been trying to become successful but that it wasn't working, and he wanted to know what he should do about it.  Does this have a familiar ring?  This is probably something that, if we are truly honest, we have all suffered at one time or another.  So how do you ensure you can be successful?

Everything comes down, in the end, to state of mind.  Yes, circumstances can help or hinder.  Sometimes the circumstances in which we may find ourselves can be dire and it can seem impossible to succeed.  We look around and see nobody else in our circle is succeeding either.  It has to be the fault of our environment!  But although those circumstances may be placing apparently insurmountable obstacles in front of us, the real key is what is inside, not what is outside.  We see the obstacles and immediately something inside says "it's impossible - I will never succeed!"  And you know what?  As long as you allow that inner demon to go unchallenged it will be right.  This is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

That is the basic underlying principle of most success systems.  Change the voices within.  Change them properly, not just superficially.  Change them permanently, not just for a day or two while you are trying out a new system.  Focus them on achieving your goal and achieve it you will.

How can you change those voices?  How can you eliminate the defeatist, miserable voice that has been with you since early childhood telling you "it won't work", "you can't do it", "you aren't good enough"?  How can you turn it around so your inner, non-stop chatter is full of "that's great!", "you're getting there!", "you have what it takes!" instead?

The first step is to look at your resources and be realistic.  Many other Law of Attraction gurus may disagree with me here and tell you that whatever it is you want to achieve you CAN achieve it if you only focus on it, visualize your success properly, and truly believe it.

Well, yes, they are right.  It IS possible to achieve anything if you are able to do those three things:

1. have a clear, smart goal
2. visualize achieving it whilst basking in the positive emotions this creates
3. believe with every grain of your being that on another plane you have already achieved it and your only task now is to bring that already successful achievement down into this plane.

Read that paragraph again, as you will find it is the master key to success.  But look again at the very last essential component.  Believe.  If you do not have that solid, unshakeable belief then all the rest is just window dressing.  If your goal is unrealistic your subconscious will know this (even though many gurus will try to tell you otherwise) and it will resist your every attempt to believe.

Paradoxically, being realistic does not mean limiting yourself to far less than you really want to achieve.  I would view realism here as a recognition of the fourth dimension that currently constrains us all - time.

The enormously successful inventor, business magnate and philanthropist, Bill Gates, once said "most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years."  So do not set yourself a short term goal that you know in your heart of hearts you are unlikely to achieve in the time you have given yourself.  By all means set that seemingly unachievable desire as your long term goal, but then focus on what you can do NOW which is one step towards it and which does not seem completely impossible.

Once you are certain you have chosen that short term goal wisely, visualize how you will feel when you have achieved it.  Let that feeling permeate your whole being.  See how wonderful that feeling is!  Know that you HAVE achieved it, and bask in the feeling that generates within you.  Start noting down the differences it makes.  You HAVE achieved it, and now your role is simply to recognize this whilst at the same time taking the steps necessary to make it a reality in this plane as well as the plane above where it is already a reality.

If you tackle your dreams and goals in this way, drawing on the immense power of belief but not at the same time putting obstacles in the way of that belief (obstacles such as being completely unrealistic!) you WILL succeed.

Once you have taken this vital first step, look around for the tools that will help you reach your goal faster.  There are many such tools out there.  Some are great, some mediocre, and some don't really work at all.  Let me help you by sifting out the mediocre and useless.  Join me, if you haven't done so already, by going to www.beallican.com where you will get 4 e-books to help you on your way and will receive regular information from me on systems to help you achieve what you desire, many of which are completely free.

Willpower and Goals

Are you the type of person who has a lot of willpower to see a project through to its completion or do you feel your willpower is lacking? While many people think that some people have more willpower than others this is simply not true. Everyone has the same amount of willpower - what is different is the way you choose to use your willpower. 

It is easy to blame your lack of willpower for the choices you make and for giving up. How many times have you heard someone say, "I just don't have the willpower to follow through?"

The real question is: Do you really want to achieve your goals, or are you happy to continue using the excuse that you do not have enough willpower?

If you really want to achieve your goals, then you certainly can.  You simply have to make sure you have the right mindset and know you can achieve them. Make sure, though, that you are setting realistic goals. You may find, for example, a goal to run this year's marathon may be unrealistic if the last time you did any exercise at all was 10 years ago!

Take a look at each of your goals and make sure it IS realistic within the timescale you are setting for it. Sit quietly and envision yourself achieving it. If you can do this, great! If not, it may be time to scale back on it a little until you really can visualize the right outcome. Then, as you progress towards that goal you can always expand it until eventually you are achieving the original goal which was initially too ambitious.

I want to emphasize that "realistic" here has nothing to do with what others around you may be telling you. Your realistic goal may be considered far to ambitious by your friends and family, but that is not what counts.  What matters is what YOU can internalize as realistic.

Now that you have realistic goals, sit quietly again and picture yourself once you have achieved that goal. If your goal is to lose 10 pounds, visualize yourself wearing the clothes you will now be able to wear. See yourself in the mirror and admire your new, well balanced body. If your goal is to speak a new foreign language fluently, see yourself surrounded by native speakers of that language, having a great time with your new friends. Whatever your goal, really internalize all the positive outcomes of achieving it.

Do this frequently until it becomes a habit.

Create a picture board, or mind map, of your new life once you have achieved your goal. Just looking at this picture board should energize you and make you determined to achieve it.

Now, every time you feel your motivation lacking, your willpower slipping away, just look again at your picture board and visualize your life after you have achieved your goal. Do you feel your motivation return, your willpower strengthened? You certainly should! If not, you are either working on the wrong goal or you have not yet really visualized properly the difference it is going to make in your life!

Don't forget, of course, to create the write positive affirmations for your goal as well. I am not going to explore this important subject here, but check my blog and other positive sites for articles on affirmations if you are not completely familiar with how and why you should do this.

Shifting your mindset will probably not happen overnight. Usually it will take time and effort on your part. Just remember that nothing is impossible if you really want to achieve it, so your focus at the outset MUST be to ensure you have that strong desire to achieve it.

Finally, remember that goals change over time. You must be ready for this and adapt as necessary so you can continue to achieve your evolving goals.

Groundhog Day

In the comedy film "Groundhog Day", Bill Murray plays a man who gets a second chance to achieve what he wants in life.  No, let's re-write that.  Not a second chance, nor a third, nor a fourth - but dozens and dozens of chances.  Every morning he finds it is the same day and he can repeat what he did "yesterday" but ironing out all the mistakes.  Eventually he becomes a brilliant pianist, medical expert, counsellor, and, of course (this is Hollywood, after all) gets the girl of his dreams.

I love that film, and if you will excuse the irony I watch it again and again.  Not just because I think it is a brilliant comedy, but because I love a couple of the messages that come through loud and clear:

1 It is never too late to try again.

2 There is always time to achieve whatever it is you want to achieve.

In the film, of course, there is a magical element - the fact that the same day keeps repeating.  None of us has that luxury unfortunately.  Well, not quite.  But in a sense we do have that luxury.  I don't know how many more days you have, and nor do you, but for most of us it is a very large number.  I fully expect to have several thousand more days in which I can work on my goals.  I might not get them all, but I probably will.  That gives me several thousand chances.  More than enough!  But at the same time, I know today could be my last day on earth, so I should live it as though it really IS my last day.

Have a good think about exactly what it is that you want to achieve.  When you know what that is, begin the exercise by knowing that you can achieve it.  Then break it down into small, bite-sized goals.  And for each goal, write down what you need to do in order to reach it.  Now all you have to do is find some time each day to work on achieving those goals.  If you have thousands of days to get there, even a very small chunk of the day will be enough.  I am sure you can find that very small chunk of time.

So get going right now.  Create your own Groundhog Day and reach out to achieve those goals!

Are Accountability Partners Worth It?

If you are considering finding an accountability partner you may be feeling a little dubious about it. Are they really worth it or do these sessions turn into friendly chats where nothing is ever achieved?

This is going to depend on your purpose for getting an accountability partner in the first place. It will also depend on just how serious you are with your weekly or monthly goals. Any meeting can turn into a friendly chit-chat if you allow it.

My advice to you is before connecting with an accountability partner determine what your goals and desires are for wanting one. Do you really want to be held accountable for your actions? Or maybe you are lacking socially and are looking for more of an excuse to chat with someone? If so, then maybe being more active in social media or running your own Facebook group could be a better alternative for you.

Once you have set your goals for wanting an accountability partner your next step is finding one. Many online forums and communities have special sections for connecting with potential accountability partners. Take a look at those forums which you visit frequently and see if they have one.

If you are active on social media you could post that you are looking for one there. Do you know anyone else that uses an accountability partner?  Why not ask them where they found theirs?

This is definitely not something that you want to rush into. It is important to find the right person so that you will both benefit from your meetings. Write out a list of qualities or traits that you are looking for. You may want a person who is of the same gender and age as you. What about time zones? Is connecting with someone on a totally different continent going to work?

Use Skype or Facebook chat to connect with possible partners and get to know them. You don't want to make a rash decision and you do want to get along with the person as well.

Remember though, that you are being accountable to each other. This means that you both need to be able to take criticism and feedback from each other. Quite often it is much easier to be the one offering feedback than to be on the receiving end.

Plus you are going to have to be honest with your accountability partner when you don't meet your goals and deadlines – if that happens! While there is no need to be fearful of missing a goal, you do need to know why you missed it. A family emergency may have come up or maybe you don't know why you missed your goal. Actually this can be a good thing and a benefit to having an accountability partner.

If you are in the habit of missing deadlines it is possible that a person looking in from the outside can see things that you are missing. This could just be that your workload is so heavy that you don't have the time to get anything new. Or they may see that you spend way too much time on Facebook or visiting forums each day.

Once any problem areas have been identified it is up to you to take action and remedy them. This is all part of working together as accountability partners. No one is the judge, in fact, you are both just trying to help each other set and meet goals on a regular basis.

Many business people have connected with accountability partners and have a business relationship that has lasted decades. There is no reason why this couldn’t turn into a similar experience for you and your new accountability partner.

Will This Year Belong to You?

Are you one of those people who follow through on their actions or do you find that your good intentions fall to the wayside quickly? Regardless of which type of person you may classify yourself as, why not make this year the year which belongs to you?

While this may sound like a huge challenge, by breaking it down into smaller steps the picture becomes much clearer. When it comes to setting goals many people often make lofty goals, those that are almost unattainable or out of reach. It’s no wonder that these ambitions and goals are given up almost as fast as they were set.

So how do you set easy to reach goals that will lead you on the path of your dreams?

One of the first things that you need to accomplish is to think about what your goals are. Now I don't mean travelling the world living out of fancy hotels. I mean goals that are going to help you lead the life you have always dreamed of. If your goal was to travel the world what would be the steps you need to take to accomplish this?

By breaking down a main goal into smaller segments you are working towards your end goal. Building on the travel goal, what would you need to make this come true? Lots of money for one thing. How would you get this money? This would become a smaller goal.  Once you had the money how would you travel, where would you go and how long would you stay in each place. All of these steps are smaller goals that need to be determined.

Do you see how these smaller steps are building up to the main goal? Perfect!  This is exactly how you can make this year belong to you!

First define what your end goal is. Then plan out all of the steps you need to take to get there. This might include earning more money, saving money regularly, learning a new skill or it might involve losing weight and getting fit.

Regardless of your end goal, once you have planned out your steps you want to treat each one as a mini goal. Then take each mini goal and work on it until you have reached it. Then take the next one and build upon that. Repeat this process until you can see your end goal in sight.

Along the way you are going to come face to face with stumbling blocks and of course, life will get in the way. All of these things are perfectly normal.  What matters is the manner in which you deal with these road blocks.

For people losing weight it can be difficult when you reach a plateau for weeks and weeks. It is easier to give up and revert back to your old habits.  Such a plateau is very common in virtually every endeavour, not just losing weight. Those people who are really determined and motivated to reach their target goal will look for ways to deal with these plateaus. These people are fighters!

When working towards a goal you do not always have to work hard on it every day. Sometimes it is healthy to take a short break, just don't let this become a vacation though!

You may find it easier to schedule certain days of the week to work on your goal so that you don't become over focused or obsessed on it. Working on a new goal means finding ways to fit it into your life without placing something or someone else in jeopardy.

With this in mind you now have the tools and a plan of attack to make this year belong to you in any way you see fit. 

If you would like more help to do this, take a look at my "Resolution Revolution".  You can get further details here:

http://beallican.com/gpdm/resolutionrevolution/info.htm

Do Resolutions Really Work?

Making New Year's Resolutions seems to be the 'in' thing to do each year, but do they really work? The answer to this would depend upon how serious you are when you make your New Year's resolution.

Do you view a New Year's Resolution as something fleeting? You just make a bunch of half hearted resolutions without any real intention of trying to get them to work. Or are you in the minority where you take your resolutions extremely seriously? If so then you are one of the few that has the best chances of succeeding with your resolutions.

This year why not really commit to changing just one thing in your life? It will be so much easier to tackle just one resolution at a time. In fact, it will be even easier if you see your New Year's Resolution as a goal.

The majority of people view goals as a more serious item, whereas a New Year's resolution is often thought of as just something that by the end of January you don't bother with anymore.

It is just a strange quirk of human nature that goals are taken more seriously. Plus you are more likely to tell your family and friends about your goals. Vocalizing your goal solidifies it into your mind so that it becomes a daily focus. The end result is that you are 10 times more likely to succeed!

Now is the time to sit down and decide which aspect of your life you want to truly change. Make it something that you really want with all your heart's desire, otherwise your motivation will not last.

Once you have decided on your goal your next step is to write it down. This way your goal becomes real, you can also post your intentions on your Facebook page, your blog or even let your list subscribers know. Once you have taken the plunge to go this far, people are going to expect to see results, and you don't want to disappoint them do you?

Now that you have made a commitment it is time to start working on your goal. The best way to do this is to create a plan of attack. This can be as simple as writing down the steps you need to follow to reach your goal. Or you may prefer to write detailed steps and set mini goals that you have to reach.

This will be a personal preference and if your motivation is high you may not feel as though you need a step by step plan to follow. Just remember to make yourself accountable so that you stay on track.

It can be helpful to post weekly updates on your social pages, or let your subscribers know each week how you are progressing. Whatever you do you don't want to lose sight of your goal. Otherwise it may start to get pushed to the back of your mind and become a forgotten goal.

So even if your friends and co-workers have written up a huge list of New Year's Resolutions, be firm and just choose one this year.  Maybe one from the original list you wrote yourself, or perhaps a completely fresh one. It doesn't matter which you do as long as this is a resolution you really want to keep. Then stand back and watch and see how many of your friends actually follow through and who is still working on their resolutions come February.

Have some type of plan to follow or use certain tools, if necessary, to help you achieve the success that you want and that you deserve. In the end you are going to be responsible for your own actions and no-one else.

If you would like a good tool to help you do this, then try my "Resolution Revolution" e-book and workbook. You can find full details here:

http://beallican.com/gpdm/resolutionrevolution/info.htm

The 3 Most Important Questions

Do you know exactly where you want to go in life?  Are your goals your REAL goals, are they what society has imposed on you, or are you just "making do" with what you think is achievable?

What do you want to experience?  How do you want to grow?  What do you want to contribute to this planet?

Maybe you already know the answers to these questions and are very happy with those answers.  But whether or not that is the case, watch this video by Vishen Lakhiani and try his 7 minute exercise.  I think you will surprise yourself with the results!

Overcoming Obstacles to Success

by

Monika Shaw

Has this ever happened to you? You begin a program, a project, a task or even a diet with the best intentions telling yourself that this is the day you will begin to achieve your goal, then - Pow! An unforeseen setback, roadblock or obstacle hits you that you did not see coming.

We never see these "accidents or obstacles" that come into our lives as anything positive or helpful. We look at them as detours to take us off the path we have committed to be on. It happens to almost everyone at some point in our lives; setbacks, obstacles - whether career, financial, or health-related, obstacles are unavoidable and we find ourselves out of sync with our goal. How do we stay on track? How do we overcome these inconvenient and untimely obstacles that appear unannounced and attempt to keep us from achieving success in the goals we have set?

I have found that the first and most common obstacle that most people can identify with is that many times, there is no clear definition of a goal. This alone can cause you to sabotage your road to success before you even begin. Without a clear goal, a destination to direct your efforts and energy toward, you find that you have created your first obstacle to keep you from achieving success. Clarity of goal is difficult to identify in a few short sentences if you really have no idea what it is that you want to achieve.

Right now, before you continue reading, do this exercise; Think about what it is that you want to achieve. What is that burning desire, that goal you want to achieve? Set your mind to addressing and answering this question. Take the time to write it out, then edit, edit, edit so that you own it in your mind, and can say it clearly in a few short sentences. Doing this forces you to be specific and will remove a lot of external "sidebar goals" that can draw you away from your main focus or objective.

Next, recognize that you may be an obstacle to your success. Do you tend to whitewash some of your negative habits as 'that is just the way I am'? Be honest and realistic with yourself. Identify these habits so that you can watch and recognize them as you set out on your journey toward your goal.

Most people, if you were to ask them would readily agree that fear and doubt are two of the major obstacles that keep them from pursuing their dreams, desires, or their goals. But let us focus beyond that and get more specific.

To help you identify your habits, here are some common obstacles that people face:

• Lack of focus 
• Unclear goals 
• Not knowing where to begin 
• Procrastination 
• Interruptions 
• Lack of self-esteem 
• Inability to let go 
• Hoarding (hanging on to everything) 
• Negative thinking or Negative Self-Talk

Perhaps you may find your habits in the above list, or have different ones - only you know for sure. But is that really true? Sometimes, it is wise to seek outside help from people who truly care about your well-being and success. Ask them to be honest with you and help you identify negative habits, traits, characteristics that impede your ability to achieve your success. This can be difficult if you have a sense of pride, low self-esteem, or think you have all the answers. However, it is also important to make sure that you ask only those individuals that you trust implicitly to give you honest answers.

Once you have identified your list of personal habits or obstacles:

• Write them down then suggest at least three possible solutions to help you overcome them.
• Flip the negative trait to find a positive trait or characteristic and begin to train yourself to think and act to implement and reinforce that positive habit.
• Finally, accept the fact that achieving your goal properly and with successful results will take time.

Overcoming obstacles that have been deeply etched in your life patterns are not going to change overnight. Do not allow negative thinking or negative self-talk to keep you from achieving your goal. Maintain a clearly distilled focus to overcome the identified obstacles will empower you to achieve your goals with success. Keep in mind also that an obstacle can sometimes be the very thing that rivets your from mediocrity, complacency, or the "Freeze Zone" as I call it. When you use an obstacle as a tool to help you overcome a negative characteristic, negative self-talk, or even self-sabotage then it no longer can be your enemy to defeat you. This is a powerful weapon you can utilize to disarm those hindrances that attempt to rob you of your successes. You are a winner and you have everything within you to reach your goal.

About the author:

Founder & First Lady of The Winning Woman Network, Monika Shaw; a CEO over a multi-million dollar company, Entrepreneur,Public Speaker, Trainer, Coach, Breast Cancer Winner, and a mentor to women.

Her passionate vision is for women to be empowered, equipped and released into their talents and gifts to become the success they can be - by giving themselves permission to do so.

From her personal and business experiences, she shares rich wisdom, encouragement and refreshment to the spirits of women who need to hear that they can be who God designed them to be - a Winning Woman! 

An Author, Speaker, Coach, and Mentor to many women over the years, she brings a message of hope, empowerment and the tools to make real the potential each woman has within to be a Winning Woman!

For more information on inviting Monika for Speaking Engagements at your company, convention, retreat, radio or television shows, and training events go to http://thewinningwomannetwork.com