Wednesday, 22 February 2017

What I most want to achieve in life

What is it that you most want to achieve in life?

Don't limit yourself when thinking of your answer to this.  There ARE no limits here.  I am not saying you have to try to achieve it.  I just want you to think about what you would really love to achieve.

Don't let your censor limit you either.  You know who I mean.  That voice inside you telling you it is wrong, that people like you don't do things like that.  Maybe a continuation inside you of what your parents said, what your teacher said, what your spouse might say, what your best friend might say.  Tell that voice to go away!  You are digging deep inside to find out what you REALLY want to achieve, regardless of what others may think.

Have you come up with anything yet?  If not, keep looking.  If you have, still keep looking - there must be a lot more than just the one thing you want to achieve!

Start putting down each of those goals on a blank sheet of paper.  Not as a future goal, but as a statement that this is you, that you have achieved it.  Then focus on each, one by one.  Ask yourself the following questions:

Why do I want to achieve this?
What difference will it make in my life?  How good will that feel?
What difference will it make in the lives of those around me?  Do I get a good feeling from that too?

As you go through this exercise, recognize when your internal censor reacts to any of the goals.  This time allow that censor to have its say.  But then analyse what it is saying.  Is this really true?  Try to follow the logic.  Often you will find there is no logic at all.  Make sure you recognize that, so the power of the censor is diminished.

In some cases you may find you actually completely agree with the censor.  If so, think back to the answers to the questions you asked yourself.  Was it really a good feeling?  As long as it was, then your censor is probably wrong.  Spend some time working on this.  Trust your gut feeling though, not the logic that the censor may use.

If the end result of this analysis is that the censor is right, I want you to dig deeper.  Somewhere deep inside you is another desire which is right for you, but which has expressed itself incorrectly and in a way that doesn't fit with who you are.  Find that inner desire deep within.  When you find it, cross off the original goal and replace it with this new, correct one.

What you now have is a list that defines the future "you".  A future you should now start moving towards.  You don't have to think of it as fully achievable - although certainly do NOT allow that voice inside you to say it is not achievable.  But it defines the direction in which you should be moving.  Every step that takes you closer is the right step, and every step that takes you further away is the wrong step.

Yes, you can use the list for affirmations and work on manifesting from it.  But also it is a very practical list that will stop you meandering through your life and instead knowing that each day is productive and moving you closer to what you really want to achieve.

Wednesday, 15 February 2017

How to Improve Your Wellbeing

In my last blog article I pointed out that feeling alive and full of energy comes from within, not from something outside you.  I hope you read that and took note.

Some readers wanted me to go a bit deeper.  To give some ideas you can take on board to start generating that energy and wellbeing.

There are three aspects of overall wellbeing:

1 How you feel on a daily basis
2 How satisfied you are with the quality of your life
3 How worthwhile you feel your life is

Even small improvements in each of those three areas will combine to give you a very noticeable improvement in your wellbeing.

Feeling Better on a Daily Basis

One way to make yourself feel better on a daily basis is to invest some time every day in physical exercise.

Hard physical exercise releases endorphins, which you can think of as "feel good" hormones.  The word "endorphin" come from the contraction of "endogenous morphine", or "internally created morphine".  So you could think of vigorous exercise as creating a happiness drug.  A drug which is legal and which doesn't get you hooked.

Exercise also creates a protein called "brain-derived neurotrophic factor", which by itself creates a feeling of happiness and wellbeing.  This protein also reduces anxiety and depression, and increases mental abilities.

Daily exercise is therefore a key factor in improving your wellbeing, both directly and indirectly, both in the short term and the long term.

You could join a gym and do daily exercise there, or even better find a physical activity you really enjoy and spend some time regularly practising that activity.  Maybe you will enjoy running, cycling, swimming, or even dancing.  Ideally a combination of these, as the kind of exercise in each activity is a little different and will benefit you in different ways.

Another obvious way to feel better on a daily basis is to avoid stress as much as possible.  Stress tends to be caused when you are put in a situation where you are unable to achieve whatever it is you are expected to achieve.  By all means set yourself ambitious targets, but don't allow anyone to put you in a position where you simply cannot achieve what is expected.

Finally, make sure you regularly reward yourself.  This is dual purpose.  By rewarding yourself for achieving something, you will reinforce your ability to achieve it.  For example, you should reward yourself for exercising.  But also, the reward itself should give you pleasure, and that regular extra pleasure of itself increases your wellbeing.

The Quality of Your Life

There are two clear ways to increase your wellbeing by increasing how satisfied you are with the quality of your life.

One way, obviously, is to keep improving that quality.  Conduct a full audit of your lifestyle.  If you do this properly you will find lots of areas where you can make small changes that will make quite big improvements in the quality of your life.  Make those changes one by one and feel your wellbeing and happiness improve as you do so.  Look, too, for the much greater changes that can be made.  Don't try to make those changes all at once, but identify longer term targets for improvement, and try to ensure the small steps you take each day, week, month and year move you towards the greater changes you desire rather than further away from them.

Another way is to lower the threshold of satisfaction.  Congratulate yourself and feel happy with even the very small improvements you make.  I don't mean you should not strive for big improvements.  Of course you should want to make those big improvements.  But learn to feel a sense of achievement for even very small improvements that others may not even notice.

A Worthwhile Life

Make sure you have chosen a really worthwhile purpose for your life.  In fact, not just one purpose, but many.  Find ways you can contribute to the wellbeing of the people around you - your family and your local community.  It may be that you will become more involved in volunteering and in charitable work.  The more you are involved in such activities the more worthwhile your life will appear to you.

But also you should find a target to which you can aim in your life which of itself is something that feels extremely worthwhile to you.  This could be something very ambitious that you may never reach, but that simply moving towards it is worthwhile.  Note down that end objective, then think about the different steps you could take to move towards it.  Then break those steps down into smaller steps.  Keep breaking the steps down so that you end up with steps that you can very easily achieve.  Then, as you make each step, congratulate yourself for getting closer to that great end target.  Reward yourself for getting closer (remember the importance of rewarding yourself)!


Turning your life into one filled with energy, happiness and wellbeing is not difficult.  Take small steps, working on feeling better on a daily basis, increasing your satisfaction with the quality of your life, and turning your journey through life into a more worthwhile journey.  Do this, and I can guarantee you will be have a very much happier and more fulfilled life - happier and more fulfilled than you probably ever dreamed possible!


If you are suffering from stress you really need to seek professional help rather than just assuming it will go away.  Otherwise it may seem to go away but instead be hiding under the surface ready to explode when you least expect it.  Take a look at this site for further help and advice:

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

Positive Energy

How alive do you feel right now?  How much energy do you have?

I hope you have responded with something along the lines of "I am very alive!" and "I am full of beans!"  If so, great!

But I suspect you have either not given such a positive response or at least admit that you don't always feel that way.

When you do not feel really enthused, full of energy, grateful just to be alive, and ready to tackle whatever challenges may confront you, why is this?

Stop reading for a moment, grab a clean sheet of paper and write down some of the answers that came to you.  Don't write them in a notebook - you need to write them on a single sheet of paper.  When you have done so, come back to me and we will discuss it further.  Ok, why are you still here?  Go and do it!


Take a look at that list you have just written.  Now pick up that sheet and tear it in two.  Tear it again.  And again.  Keep tearing until you just have lots of small pieces of paper and you cannot read any of the sentences you wrote.

Feel good about that.  Those reasons are all gone.

In some cases because you have removed the reason.  It may still seem to be here in the physical world - but in the inner world, the world in which everything you can see around you begins, the barrier to an energy filled, happy and bubbly life has simply disappeared.

In other cases the thing you wrote about is still there, but you have destroyed its power to stop you living a fulfilled, and energy-filled life.

The reality is that nothing outside you really has the power to stop you being fully alive for as long as you are physically alive.  Nothing outside you has the power to stop you feeling grateful for all the good things you have in your life.  Nothing outside of you has the power to sap your energy.  It only has the power if you voluntarily give it that power.

If you really want to feel full of energy, that feeling comes from within not from the outside.  It doesn't come from your circumstances.  It doesn't come from the job you are doing.  It doesn't come from the people around you.  It comes from right inside you.

Let me ask you another question.  Do you prefer feeling great, alive, full of beans, and thankful for the wonderful life you have, or do you prefer to feel lethargic, miserable, and self-pitying?

If you want to feel great, then do it!  Feel great!  Nobody and nothing can stop you!

I agree it is nicer to be in great circumstances, be surrounded by lovely people, have everything you ever wanted.  Of course it is!  But the feelings you have in the moments when you have those things don't come from them, but from within you.  By all means arrange things as much as possible so you have the things you want, are in the circumstances you wish for, are surrounded by lovely, positive friends.  There are many things you can do to move towards that situation.  But recognize that right now you can generate as much positive energy as you wish.

The power to feel miserable, weak and deflated comes from within.  The power to feel happy, full of energy, and glad to be alive comes from within.  Choose which you want, and choose wisely!

Wednesday, 1 February 2017


Always think in positive terms, not negative.  Use positive thinking to focus on what you want to become, not on the negative things you want to remove.  This is a major plank of Law of Attraction philosophy and is something to which I subscribe wholeheartedly.

So why have I named this blog article "Failure"?  Isn't that a very negative way to start?

Actually, failure isn't negative at all.  I hope by the time you have read this article you will agree.

Listen to the words of Charles Kettering, who was head of research at General Motors, inventor of the electric starting motor, and a holder of 186 patents.  Kettering said "Failing is one of the greatest arts in the world. One fails toward success."

Or how about this comment from Thomas J Watson, the man who turned IBM into an international business to be reckoned with, and who was hailed as the world's greatest salesman.  Watson said "The fastest way to succeed is to double your failure rate."  He was certainly speaking from experience.  Watson failed in his first job as a teacher - he gave up after only one day!  If you read his biography you will realize he failed many times, at many things, but that didn't stop him from becoming the richest man in the world.  In fact, he believed that was why he became the richest man in the world!

How successful was Abraham Lincoln?  He went to war as a captain and returned a private!  He failed as a businessman.  He failed as a lawyer.  He failed when he tried to become a congressman.  He failed when he tried to become a senator.  He failed when he tried to become vice-president.  But all those failures were steps in his progress to becoming one of the greatest presidents of the United States.

Perhaps the most famous example of failure leading to success is Thomas Edison.  Edison designed the first commercially practical light bulb.  But only after failing to create one 1,000 times.  When he was asked how he felt about failing 1,000 times, Edison said that each of those 1,000 failures was a step towards his success.

And that is the key.  Failure is not something negative at all.  It is a step towards success.  Often, a necessary step.

Learn from your failures.  Edison found 1,000 ways a light bulb would not work, which is the reason he was eventually able to find one way it would work.

Don't try to avoid failure.  Embrace it.  See it the way Edison saw it.  Each failure is one step you have made closer to your ultimate success.