Wednesday 27 December 2017

Laugh



Recently I saw a dance performance by a 3-year-old boy on "China's Got Talent".  When asked why he danced he said he did it because it made people laugh, and that people who laugh are happy.  So he wanted to keep dancing so he could keep making people happy.

There are a number of lessons in this for all of us.  Yes, no matter our age we can learn lessons from a 3-year-old.

The first lesson is the link between laughter and happiness.  This is very important.  Of course, whatever makes us laugh can of itself give us happiness.  I was certainly happy watching that little boy, and not simply because I was laughing.  But the act of laughing or smiling itself makes us happy, even if there is nothing there that should be making us laugh.  Even forced laughter makes us happy.  It may seem false to laugh when there is nothing to laugh about, and we may initially just be forcing laughter we don't actually feel, but keep forcing that laugh and you will find  it creates a significant mood change anyway.

Just in case you don't believe me, I want you to try an experiment.  Start laughing right now.  It doesn't matter that nothing funny is happening.  Laugh anyway.  Don't say "I can't laugh unless there is something funny".  Just open your mouth and make the sound.  Don't worry that it doesn't sound quite right, just keep doing it.  Soon you will find it turns into natural laughter - even if that is only because you are laughing at your silly attempts to laugh!  Now that you have done that, how do you feel?  Miserable?  I think not!  You will find you feel happier than you felt before.  This works particularly well when you are miserable, as there is a very clear contrast.

This is a very important lesson.  If you want to change your mood, simply change it by doing whatever is associated with the mood you want.  That association will attract the mood.  Most people think they only laugh because they are amused, but what they don't realize is that it also works the other way around.  They can become amused simply by laughing.

Laughing is very infectious.  In her poem "Solitude", Ella Wheeler Wilcox said "Laugh, and the world laughs with you", and how true this is!  The little Chinese boy understood that if he could get some people to laugh they would be happy, and also that this happiness would spread as more and more people laughed.

This means it is really very easy to create happiness in the world, to make people around you happier than they were.  Laugh.  And do things to make others laugh.  That little boy knew this, and at only three years old he was putting this in practice.

I like to laugh and smile whenever I can, and to help those around me laugh and smile too.  I know this is the way to make this world a better place.  Every day I make at least one person happier by laughing or smiling is a day well worth living, a day when I have added something good to this world.  And it is so easy to do.  So much easier than all the wonderful ideas so many people have about making the world a better place; ideas that may be great ideas but that are very difficult to realize, consistently, day after day.  Just laugh and smile!

And to me that is perhaps the biggest lesson this lovely Chinese boy has imparted to us.  That it is our role in life to make people happy.  Be happy yourself and help to make those around you happier.  Do this, and you will know that each day you really are making the world a better place, that the world really is a better place simply because you are there doing what you do.  Wouldn't that be a lovely epitaph to have when you eventually passed away?  "He made the world a better place!"  "She made the world a better place!"  Well, this really can be your epitaph.  You don't have to do anything spectacular to earn this epitaph.  Simply make sure that each day you do what you can to make those around you happier.  Do this by trying to laugh and smile as much as you can.

I shall end this little lesson by quoting the entire poem "Solitude".  Read it and take it to heart:

   Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
   Weep, and you weep alone;
   For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
   But has trouble enough of its own.
   Sing, and the hills will answer;
   Sigh, it is lost on the air;
   The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
   But shrink from voicing care.

   Rejoice, and men will seek you;
   Grieve, and they turn and go;
   They want full measure of all your pleasure,
   But they do not need your woe.
   Be glad, and your friends are many;
   Be sad, and you lose them all,—
   There are none to decline your nectared wine,
   But alone you must drink life’s gall.

   Feast, and your halls are crowded;
   Fast, and the world goes by.
   Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
   But no man can help you die.
   There is room in the halls of pleasure
   For a large and lordly train,
   But one by one we must all file on
   Through the narrow aisles of pain.

Wednesday 20 December 2017

Parables



How important are parables in determining the way you view life?

I would say very important.  It is no coincidence that Jesus chose to pass on his wisdom by telling stories that were not actually intended to be historical truth.  He did so because he knew that the deeper truth embedded in those stories would have a lot more impact and be recognized and understood better that way.

I am sure you have heard the saying "a picture is worth a thousand words".  Some things can be understood quite easily, but not easily put into words.  This is particularly true of many aspects of personal development, whether spiritual or otherwise.

Using parables is a great way of getting your message across.  If you really want to change the way others think and feel, use parables.  Even more important, if you want to change the way YOU think and feel, use parables.  Whether or not you are a Christian, read or re-read some of the parables in the New Testament - they are very powerful and the underlying messages are certainly very important.

A friend of mine regularly uses parables to change the thinking of those around him, and they usually don't even realize that is what he is doing.  He does it when he needs to get across something that his listeners would regard as a criticism and would probably react by trying to justify themselves rather than taking in the fact that they have done something wrong.  His usual method of doing this is to tell a story of either something he did or something someone he knew did, and the negative consequences that arose because they did it.  As his listener doesn't believe the comment is about themselves they don't feel the need to resist and justify, and instead actually take in those negative consequences.  The next time they are tempted to say or do the same thing, subconsciously they will recall the parable and may then think twice.  This is a very powerful technique.  You may feel it is dishonest, but I don't.  I think it is far better to bend the truth a little (sorry to my fellow Quakers - no real dishonesty intended here!) in order to ensure no offence is given but that the inner meaning is properly absorbed.  Jesus thought so too.

Try it!  Use it to spread a little more morality and create a better world around you.  Use it to take in some inner truths yourself.  There are plenty of online examples.  The next time you see a lovely story online, don't immediately go to "Snopes" or some other myth-buster site to find out whether or not it is historically true, as the historical truth doesn't matter.  By all means check out the historical truth before posting it yourself, and maybe include a comment that this is not intended to be a true story but that you found it very touching.  But don't focus on whether or not it is the truth in the historical sense - the deep inner meaning IS true if it inspires you and others to become better and do better things in what can often seem a very mediocre world.

Whatever your religion, go back to your holy book(s) and recognize that probably most of what is written there is in the form of parables.  It doesn't matter whether or not it is historically true.  That is really not the point at all.  What matters is whether or not the underlying message is good or bad - and usually you will find it is good.  Read the holy books of other religions in the same way.  Do this even if you are not at all religious.  You will not be "getting religion" - just allowing some hidden wisdom to help you become a better person and create a better world around you.

Wednesday 13 December 2017

Who Knows Best?



Have you ever found you wanted something so badly, maybe prayed for it, used "manifesting" techniques, used "affirmations", used all sorts of other techniques you have learned, and it simply didn't materialize?  Be honest!  If you are truly honest I can guarantee that either you never really want anything so strongly or you WILL have experienced this.

Is it because prayers don't work?  Certainly not - they DO.  Is it because "manifestation techniques" don't work?  Not at all.  They do too.

So why is it that this sometimes (perhaps often) happens to all of us?

Well, one reason can be, of course, that you are not doing it right.

I find, for example, that praying for something I want is never a good idea.  I do pray regularly, but not with a kind of "Santa wish list".  It would feel wrong to me and clash with my deep inner beliefs to do this.  That does not mean it is not right for you.  If you do it in the right way, and it doesn't feel wrong to you at all, then it most certainly can work wonders.  But my own inner beliefs would tell me that God is not there at my beck and call to give me the things and experiences I think I want.  It doesn't really matter whether or not those inner beliefs are correct.  All that matters is that I have them, and that is enough to ensure any attempt by me to pray for what I want is unlikely to produce the results I expect.

When it comes to using affirmations and other manifestation techniques it is, of course, important to get them right.  If you don't, they won't work.  And the very first step in getting any of them right is for you to have the right desires and the right attitude.  I have covered off "right desires" in other blog articles, but in essence I mean digging down to your inner core and making sure what you desire is not in conflict with your deep-seated inner beliefs, your spiritual values.  If it is, then the exercise is doomed to failure.  As for the right attitude, again I have covered this elsewhere, but in particular you should maintain an attitude that properly reflects the abundance of the universe.  Don't be fooled by the tendency of most people to believe in "limited good".  Recognize that there is not a limited supply of whatever you want but rather an abundant supply.  Know that you are not taking anything away from anyone else when you gain whatever it is you want.  This change in attitude is vital.  Without it, you will find it is very difficult if not impossible to use any manifestation techniques.  Also, never focus on the lack.  If you want something "badly", you are probably already moving in the wrong direction.  Even that word, "badly", is a negative.  Never focus on negatives, only positives.

But often I find that even though I am doing everything right I still don't get what it is that I think I want.  And I am sure that is the case for you too.

Why?

Because sometimes what I want is not really the right thing for me at that time.  It is not in conflict with my inner beliefs or values.  There is nothing wrong with it.  But it is simply not the right thing for me at this time.  God, or the Universe, or whatever label you want to use, knows best.  He/she/it knows there is something even better for me at this time, and that is what is delivered instead.  Over the years I have come to recognize that very often it is not me who knows best what I really want or need.  God knows best.  The Universe knows best.  I have learned to trust implicitly in this and so I am just as happy when I DON'T get what I have asked for as when I DO.  Learn to recognize and trust in this too, and you will have a much happier life.


Wednesday 6 December 2017

Hurdles and Obstacles



What obstacles have you identified which are preventing you from achieving what you want to achieve in life?  Are there any such obstacles?

I assume there are, as otherwise you would have achieved your dreams wouldn't you?

Some people may answer this by saying "I don't really have any dreams".  If this is you, then you are kidding yourself.  Somewhere within you, maybe deep within, there is a dream waiting to be released, waiting for you to see it and fill it with emotion.  The obstacle in this case is your failure to recognize you even have a dream.

Many will say something like "dreams are only for dreamers, and I am no dreamer!"  They say this with pride.  As though the rest of us who do have dreams are to be pitied or are perhaps idlers and fantasists.  I say the same to these people - deep within you there is a dream waiting to be released, waiting for you to see it and fill it with emotion.  The obstacle in this case is your failure to recognize you even have a dream.  Probably because you are too frightened to admit that you might have one.  You are afraid if you admit this to yourself you will only fail to achieve your dream and then this will make you unhappy.  Does that sound familiar?

And most of the rest do have dreams they want to achieve, but have pulled up at the first obstacle.  That is a bit like a hurdler running along the straight and then pulling up at the first hurdle and saying "I cannot go any further because there is a hurdle in the way!"  Yes, there is!  And the idea is to jump over that hurdle, not simply stand there looking at it and wishing it wasn't there.  Wishing it wasn't there won't make it go away!  So if you just stand there miserably looking at the hurdle you will never make any progress towards the finish line for your dream!

How can you jump over the hurdles that are bound to be there on the road towards your dream?  How can you pass around the obstacles you are bound to confront?

The answers are actually in the questions.  Jump over the hurdles.  Pass around the obstacles.  Really, it is as simple as that!  When you start to do this you will find many of the hurdles are really not very high.  They just look it because they react to your initial fear or despair by appearing to grow to an impossible size.

Your obstacle, your hurdle, is Oscar Zoroaster.  Who is that? you probably ask.  Oscar Zoroaster, the conman from Omaha, Nebraska who took the name "Oz" and ruled the kingdom of Oz by pretending he was far more powerful than he really was.

Be like Dorothy and her friends and challenge your obstacle, your hurdle, your Wizard of Oz.  Challenge it and usually, just like the Wizard in that immortal story, it will shrink away and you can continue on the the yellow brick road to reach your dream!