You Are Special

Are you special?

Of course you are!  There is absolutely no doubt about that at all.  You are very special!

How did it make you feel when I said that?  Despite the fact that this is a very impersonal conversation - one where neither of us knows anything about the other and we are not talking to each other directly - I am guessing it made you feel good, even if only for a brief moment.

You are special, but not because someone else says or thinks you are.  You are special simply because you are YOU.  There is nobody else quite like you.  There has never been anyone quite like you in the past, and there will never be anyone exactly the same as you in the future.

This is all true.  So true that you shouldn't need me, or anyone else, to confirm it for you.

The trouble is, most of us DO seem to need constant validation of this simple fact.

This can be especially the case in relationships.  You thrive on compliments from your spouse or significant other.  You want them to tell you that you are more beautiful, handsome, caring, intelligent, etc than anyone else.  Perhaps in the first flush of love that is what they truly believed.  But maybe now they don't.  Not because they love you any the less.  They still love you deeply, but no longer need to believe you are more beautiful, handsome, caring, intelligent, etc than anyone else.  They love you for who you really are, not for the projection of what you believe you should be.

That true, deep love is very important.  And it illustrates a deeper, wider lesson.  That you don't have to be "more".  It is enough that you simply are.

You don't have to be "more successful" than others.  It doesn't matter how successful others are.  Well, it does for them, of course, and we should always be pleased for the successes of our friends, colleagues and relatives.  But you do not have to be more successful than them, only as successful as you want to be.

Life is an experience, a beautiful experience, not a competition.  There will always be someone better than you in almost any aspect, any characteristic, any skill.  The purpose of life is not for you to be the best, but simply to be all that you can be.

You don't have to look in the mirror, ask it who the most beautiful person in the world is, and then expect it to answer that you are.  We all know the fairy tale where someone did that.  Look at the damage she caused before she was forced to wear a pair of red hot shoes (and by "hot" I am not referring to how popular they were!) and dance in them until she dropped dead.  You don't want to be the evil queen in Snow White!  And you don't need to be either!

It is enough that you are special and that you know you are special.  That you are talented (even if you haven't developed all those talents yet) and that you know you are talented.  But especially that you are loving and kind and that the world is a better place because you are here.

You are special, very special, but don't go looking for anyone else to confirm that to you.  It is enough simply that you ARE.

How to Transform Limiting Beliefs to Achieve Success

by

Rosa C Murphy

We all have self-limiting beliefs in one way or another. However, if we want to be successful we need to learn to let go of these beliefs; beliefs like denial and resistances. Many of these self-limiting beliefs result from stories that we have created in our mind. When bad things happens we tend to defend, over rationalize or protect ourselves as part of our survival instinct. Unfortunately these kinds of behaviors keep us from moving forward.

Do you make excuses for procrastinating? Do you blame others for your lower performance at work? Are you blaming your excessive weight on your genetics? If so, it's time to learn how to make some mental adjustments so that you can really enjoy your life and experience a much more abundant and fulfilling life.

Abundant and prosperous people face the same difficulties and discomforts that the rest of us do but they have learned how to take appropriate actions to avoid negative consequences.

The basic principle to learn is to take responsibility for your life. It is up to us to be successful, overcome challenges and deal with drawbacks. Sometimes there are things out of our control, but we can choose to acknowledge this situation, understand the red flags, find a detour, keep moving and take positive action. This sometimes implies that we have to take risks.

Why denial is the number one self-limiting obstacle?

Denial means to hide or ignore that we are facing a problem or dealing with challenges. Denial provides a set of myths and excuses to keep us from progressing. When we are in denial we use lots of excuses and blame to justify lack of action or passive interpretation of things. If you are in denial you most commonly use these terms:

• I don't want to be the center of attention. 
• I prefer to keep my mouth shut. 
• This is just temporary. 
• I will not be fired; I am indispensable. 
• I am waiting for the storm to pass.

These passive phrases provide us with justification or rationalization for something that is not working out and let us maintain the status quo. We are able to comfortably maintain the same state of mind and stay in our comfort zone. Self-limiting beliefs have also to do with poor self-esteem. Thoughts that accompany self-limiting beliefs include:

• I am not good enough for that job. 
• I do not have the right personality for that job. 
• Nothing I do is ever noticed by others. 
• Only good-looking people are successful. 
• Maybe next year I can try that. 
• I don't have a voice in this company. No one every listens to me. 
• My family have been in poverty forever and I don't expect this to change.

When these types of thought occur it is necessary to turn them around. Rather than thinking thoughts like those above, turn them around:

• I am good enough and I deserve that job. 
• My needs are as important as everyone else's needs. 
• I may not look like a movie star but I have talent and personality and these qualities are more important for success. 
• I can handle pressure I am a great multitasker. 
• Poverty is not fate. I am resourceful and dynamic and I am working towards change.

Our thoughts about ourselves, or our physical traits or talents and skills reflect how we act in front of others. Are we proud of our skills or do we try to keep them to ourselves in the hopes that we will be seen as being humble? Humble, by the way, means "teachable" and not shy, retiring and unassuming. Successful people, on the other hand, are more committed and determined to make sure everybody knows that they are the most qualified person for the job, promotion, business deal or transaction. There is no room for humility or passivity in their lives.

People who know how to overcome self-limiting beliefs find other ways to deal with change and the unknown. Don't think that you can't do it just because you have told yourself so many times that you don't have the right personality or talent that you actually believe yourself. Sometimes the worst thing that we can do is to believe our own thoughts. To enjoy a successful and more exciting life, a place of possibilities and dreams, we have to learn how to transform our self-limiting beliefs into self-empowering beliefs.

Solutions

You can identify beliefs that are self-limiting, beliefs that are not serving you or that are limiting your success, and replace them with positive ones that support your success. Here are some ideas to help you on this exciting quest:

• Make a list of what isn't working in your life. 
• Determine the most important areas of your life that need attention (family, career, love, finances). 
• Review your goals and focus on a successful future. 
• Ask a trusted friend or colleague what beliefs you seem to be manifesting that are not helping you move forward. 
• Ask yourself insightful questions, do some inner work: write a journal, create your ideal day. 
• Face what isn't working first, create a strategy plan. 
• Make a list of positive things you wish to happen to increase your chances of success. 
• Acknowledge your successes and achievements, remember you are greater than you think. 
• Seek competent professional coaching; an NLP coach can help you developed effective intra-person and inter-personal communication skills. 
• Seek a trained hypnotist to help you eliminate self-sabotaging beliefs and self-criticism that are not serving you and help you create a new set of self-talk words and mental programming for success.

Everything starts with your thoughts and mental processes. Words have power and it is important that you learn to use them correctly to your advantage. Believing that you are worthy of love and respect creates an aura of appreciation around you. You deserve to be successful and you are worthy of everything you want to achieve. Don't settle for less than you deserve. Once you understand that, your confidence will soar.

About the Author:

Rosa C. Murphy, M.Ed. is a certified relaxation therapist, artist and mentor, and a leading teacher in the area of mysticism, healing and expressive arts.  She has extensively research the goddess, divine feminine, human art, mythology and different archetypes. She talks about gnosis to self- mastery and personal transformation. and educates people about the body mind connection, thought field, hypnosis, and the Universal laws directing our lives.  For more information about her services, teachings or to contact her please visit her web site at:

http://www.whisperingtranquilitystudio.com

How to Become Successful – the First Step

As a researcher and promoter of personal development and success systems the commonest question by far that I hear is “How can I be successful?” How to be successful is the driving force for most people with whom I come into contact. Not surprising really, as this is my niche and my area of special expertise.

Usually I answer with another question. “What does ‘success’ really mean to you?” This is not a cop-out. I believe this question must be answered before I can even begin to outline what I believe this person must do in order to be successful. I do not believe anybody can really be successful unless they know exactly how they personally define success.

I have met people I would describe as very successful, but who have very little money. Many successful people are not well-known. Some have no close family and few if any friends.

So, if success is not defined by wealth, fame, family situation, or friendship, then what on earth does define success?

The answer, again, is that success can only ever be defined by the person who wishes to achieve it.

The first step to becoming successful is therefore to set aside some quiet, uninterruptible time, and begin to define for yourself exactly what you mean by success. You should make sure you have at least an hour for this, and preferably more so that the exercise can be open-ended and continue for as long as you find necessary. I can promise you that if you truly want to be successful this will be the most valuable hour or two you have ever spent.

This should initially be a brainstorming session. The concept here is that you should write down everything that comes into your mind when you hear the word “success”. Do not limit yourself to things you think it should be. You are trying to arrive at your own definition of personal success, not what you have read as someone else’s definition. Anything goes here. Do not be judgemental – if the thought occurs then write it down. Be prepared to fill quite a few pages here and to spend a good twenty or thirty minutes, not just a couple of minutes filling a single sheet of A4!

When you have spent a minimum of twenty minutes doing this (and keep going well beyond if ideas are still popping into your head) you can begin sifting through those ideas and crossing out ones that are not relevant. Also look for ones that are just repeats or variants of others; keep the most relevant and cross out the others.

You should now put your scribbled lists aside. In fact, turn the paper over so you cannot see anything you have written. On a clean sheet of paper write in large, bold capitals:

WHO AM I?

Don’t try to answer this. Just read it, then sit in absolute silence for at least another five minutes.  Ten, if you can manage it. This should be a form of meditation. If you are used to meditating on a phrase, then meditate on that question. If not, don’t worry – just sit there in silence.

When the five or ten minutes is up, turn over your list of words and phrases that came into your head when you thought about “success”. Start a fresh list and write down some words and phrases that now seem to resonate with you as being a start of your definition of success. These words and phrases may come from your brainstormed list, but you may find there are some completely different ones that now come into your head.

What you are trying to do here is to make sure your own personal definition of “success” is truly aligned with your own inner “you”. Only when your definition of success is properly aligned in this way can you really start to become truly successful.

At this point, start trying to formulate a sentence or two from this new list. This sentence will be the starting point of your own personal definition of success. It will probably be quite different from anything anyone else will ever write. That is quite natural, as this is extremely personal, and not some definition foisted upon you by the media. Treasure it! This definition, I can assure you, is one of the most precious things you have, as it will be the starting point of your true success.

Your definition of success will evolve over time, and in a few years from now may be quite different from what you have just written. But it will be a true definition, and one you can now be happy to go out and seek.

Good luck!