Which mask are you going to wear?

Which mask are you going to wear today?

Perhaps your reaction to this is one of puzzlement.  Why am I talking about masks?

Maybe you think you never wear a mask.  If so, you are almost certainly wrong.  We pretty much all wear masks.  There is nothing wrong with this, as long as we know we are doing it and choose to wear the right masks at the right time for the right reason.

The normal purpose of a mask is to hide a person's true identity.  This can be good or bad, depending on the reason behind it.  In some past cultures people wore masks to a ball so that they could do whatever they wished without the normal consequences.  They could flirt behind the back of their spouse, and even take someone else to bed, believing none would be the wiser.  Or today a person might wear a mask when committing a robbery or burglary, so that anyone around (and any hidden cameras) would find it impossible to identify them, allowing them to enjoy the proceeds of the crime without fear of arrest and imprisonment.  These are examples of bad reasons for wearing a mask to hide your identity.

But hiding your identity in order to replace it with another can also be a good thing.  Replace the word "identity" with "personality" and you should see what I mean.  Perhaps your normal identity is to be rather shy and withdrawn.  But then you are invited to a lively party.  Wearing a mask to that party could make you forget your shy identity and simply enjoy yourself.  Not for any nefarious reasons, not to prevent others from knowing who you are, but in essence to hide your own identity from yourself, allowing you to break out of that identity, enjoying things that your "normal" personality would not enjoy.  As long as the way in which you are enjoying yourself is not harmful to others or yourself, this is a good thing.

Also, we "put on" different identities or personalities depending on the situations we are in.  Many people wear a suit when they go to work, even if the company rules do not require this.  Why?  Because they enjoy wearing a suit?  Maybe.  But more likely because they find when they put on the suit they also put on a particular personality.  A personality that behaves in the right way in the work situation, even if this personality is something very different from their "normal" personality.  Some people even do this when they are working at home and will not be seen by anybody.  They find it is a good way to assume work mode even though they are in a place where normally they would expect to relax and enjoy leisure time.  So the suit is, itself, a form of mask.

There are other reasons for wearing masks besides hiding "normal" personalities and assuming different personalities, although that is probably the most usual reason.  For example, think about the plague masks used by doctors during the era of the Black Death.  These masks were intended to stop the bacteria passing from the plague victim to the doctor.  The doctors did not, at that time, understand plague was caused by bacteria, but they did recognize there was something within the victim that could pass through the air and infect them unless they put up a barrier to stop this happening.  Even today you can see a kind of plague mask, where people wear a face mask either to stop themselves infecting others or to avoid being infected by others.  These are all physical examples of using masks as a form of protection.  But the concept can also apply to personalities we assume.  Personalities that attempt to insulate us from "infection" by people around - with "infection" perhaps referring to being influenced in any way by them.  I would suggest this is not really a good use of masks.  It is true that there are what I would refer to as emotional vampires around us - people who seem to suck all the energy and positivity out of us, making us feel miserable and helpless.  But the best way to limit this is to avoid mixing with such people rather than to build a hard and solid barrier mask around us, preventing us from empathizing with anyone.

So, is it a good or a bad thing to wear masks?

It is a good thing if the purpose is to allow you to assume a different but necessary personality in order to achieve what you want to achieve, but subject to certain very clear and important rules.

Firstly, you should never assume a personality with which you are not completely comfortable.  Never take on a personality that conflicts with your true inner nature.  By definition it will be different, but it must not conflict.  An extreme negative example of this is so-called "conversion therapy".  This is a pseudo scientific process trying to make a person change their sexual orientation.  For example, making someone who is homosexual turn into someone who is heterosexual.  This is a very harmful process, whether a formal external therapy is used or simply an individual who is homosexual tries to force himself or herself to "wear a mask" of a heterosexual person.  Never allow your masks to deny your true inner nature.

Secondly, you must always recognize a mask for what it is.  A mask is not your true inner self.  It is just a mask.  Do not allow yourself to become confused and think that you are the personality represented by the mask.

Thirdly, and linked to the second rule, never allow the mask to take you over.  You are wearing the mask rather than the other way around.  Perhaps you should watch (or watch again) the Jim Carrey film "The Mask" to remind yourself of the danger of allowing any of your masks to take control of your life.  Know that they are simply masks that you can, and should, easily remove and put away when their function is no longer required.

Finally, and again linked to the above, never wear your mask for too long.  If you do, there is a real danger you will break both the second and third rules.  If you have a "work mask" you may wonder how you can avoid wearing it for too long.  You can avoid doing so by making sure you take that mask off the moment you stop work.  This includes not only when you go home at the end of your work day, but also in any work breaks you may have, especially your lunch break.  Where possible, go away during your lunch break rather than having lunch at your desk (if you are an office worker) and maintaining your work personality.  I have to admit that I am very bad at following this rule.  I recognize it may not always be possible to do this.  As long as you are certain you are not in danger of breaking the other rules then this may be ok, but keep a very close eye on what is happening and be prepared to take action if you sense any such danger at all.

So, what masks are you going to wear today?  Should you be wearing them?  And if you should, remember to take them off when they are no longer required.