Moods and State Changes

Physical State Changes

I want you to try a little experiment for me.

Sit down on a chair or the sofa.  No, in fact don't sit - slump untidily there!  Breath shallowly.  If you were smiling, stop doing so.  Frown.  Sit that way for several minutes.  Now think about how you are feeling.  What kind of a mood do you have.  Are you happy, sad, or indifferent?  Do you feel lively and energetic, or are you lethargic and in a "couldn't care less" kind of mood?

I am pretty certain you will have answered at least "indifferent", if not "sad".  And it is very unlikely you answered that you felt "lively and energetic" - if you did, then you are a very unusual kind of person!

Now stand up.  Straighten your back.  Feel tall.  Smile.  Take a deep breath, hold it, then fully exhale.  Do that again.  And again.  Now how do you feel?  Do you feel any different from a few moments ago when you were slumped on a chair or your sofa?  I am pretty certain you now feel quite different.  You should feel happier and more energetic.

Finally, go one step further.  This time I want you to start jumping up and down.  Keep the smile on your face as you jump.  Stretch your arms right up as you jump, bringing them down again as you land.  Keep jumping like this for a while.  Now analyze how you feel.  Probably happier, and certainly livelier and more energetic.

What this proves is that what you do with your body has a big influence on the way you feel.  You are in control of your moods, and one way in which you control them is through your body.  If you want to feel happy, then sit up (or stand tall if appropriate) and smile.  If you are feeling miserable, check whether you are frowning - stop frowning and smile, and again, put your body in a position more conducive to feeling good.

Anchors

It is not just your body position and your smiling or frowning that can create moods, although you will find that by changing position and starting to smile you can always change your "state".  There are other things that trigger different moods.  Not just being happy or sad but, for example, feeling confident, feeling resourceful, feeling ready to take on a challenge, etc.  These are all different "states", and they can be triggered by what NLP professionals call "anchors".

When you are in a particular "state", your subconscious mind notes everything around you.  Smells, sights, sounds, the things you touch, etc.  It then anchors these to the state.

Once you realize this, you can design your own anchors.

It is a good idea if you make those anchors relate to the state you are trying to achieve.  For example, you might associate a comforting hand on your shoulder with confidence.  

In order to associate the anchor properly, find a memory where you were really fully in that state.  In this example, a time when you were feeling really confident about something.  Try to find the best example of this that you can.  It is really worth spending a long time doing this if it gets you the right memory.  When you recall this time and are right in that "zone", immediately feel that comforting hand on your shoulder.  If the memory fades, then imagine that hand being removed from your shoulder.  But if possible, maintain that memory for several minutes, and keep feeling the hand there all that time.  Now open your eyes, feeling that the hand has now left.  Repeat this several times, trying to make the memory more vivid each time.  For now, that is enough.  But later in the day, use the anchor (in this case, feel the hand on your shoulder) and check that the confident state arises.  At first it may not be a strong feeling for you, although many people do indeed get an immediate very strong change of state.  Don't worry if it is not that strong - just repeat the anchoring process several times again.  Keep doing this in different periods during the day and feel the anchoring build up stronger and stronger.

The next day, visualize the anchor again.  It should bring the state change immediately.  If not, again repeat the anchoring process.  You may need to do this several times for several days running, but eventually it will be fully and permanently anchored.

In this example I have referred to only one state - feeling confident - and one anchor - a hand on your shoulder.  You can, and should, use this process to create as many positive states as possible, using a different anchor for each.  You will find this is a long process, on which can build more and more positive state changes over the next few months and years.  A long process, but a very worthwhile one!

Summary

Use both these techniques to change your state, and you will find you have a much better control over your moods and can get into the right state so much easier.  This will create enormous positive changes in your life.

Using Metaphors to Influence and Persuade

by

Linda Cattelan

Did you know that we use about six metaphors per minute in the English language? Are you aware that our unconscious mind thinks and responds best to symbolic language i.e. metaphors? Did you know that all learning and change occurs at the unconscious level?

A metaphor is a story told with a purpose which allows us to bypass conscious resistance in order to make connections at a deeper level. By telling stories you engage the other person's curiosity and thereby create the opportunity for direct dialogue with their unconscious mind.

Milton Erickson, a Psychiatrist and Psychotherapist who specialized in medical hypnosis and family therapy for over 60 years, was famous for his metaphorical approach through storytelling. He was renowned not only for his approach to the unconscious mind as creative and solution generating but also for making a large impact on the developers of NLP.

Milton was a master at using abstract and ambiguous language patterns to match his client's experience by assisting his client in accessing unconscious resources in order to pace and lead his client's behavior through a story.

Most of the time, an effective metaphor will result in the other person totally associating or connecting to the character or event in the story. In this sense, metaphors are effective for inducing and creating a trance-like state. When you induce trance, you are communicating directly to the unconscious mind.

Through the use of metaphors we have a huge opportunity to creatively affect change within others. Therefore becoming artistic in the use of metaphors can really make a difference in helping others to move forward. You are already using metaphors in your language and therefore unconsciously impacting others in ways you may not even be aware of. As previously stated, we use several metaphors per minute in our general language already. Becoming self-aware of the language we use and its impact on others is not only useful but important. NLP teaches us how to intentionally use metaphors and language patterns to create desired change and insights in others.

Language is the middle name in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). So in that sense, NLP is a linguistic way of communicating with others on a regular basis.

I have several metaphors I use with my coaching clients when I am trying to make a point. For example; I like to use the analogy of a hockey game in progress as a metaphor for perspectives work. The hockey player is in total fovial vision focused only on what is before him/her. The view is narrow and at this level, the game is fast moving, decisions are made quickly with no time to fully anticipate the impact. From a Coach's view from the bench, the Coach is able to see a much broader perspective of the game. The game actually appears slower from this standpoint. The Coach is able to anticipate not only the player's probable action but also the chain of reaction the play will cause. Now, imagine moving further out to high in the stands of the hockey arena. From this vantage you can really see what is going on in the bigger picture. The game really slows down and you can be much more objective than when you are right in the middle of the play as the player. Whenever I use this metaphor, clients can really remove themselves from a perspective they are holding when I ask them to become an observer in the stands.

In addition to having a toolkit of metaphors at the ready, designing a specific metaphor to address someone's specific problem or issue is ideal.

Here are 4 steps to consider when designing a metaphor to use with others:

1. Define the person's problem or issue 
2. Determine the person's desired outcome 
3. Ask yourself: "What is this an example of?" You are looking for a story or metaphor that will get the other person from where they are now to their desired outcome without their conscious connection or awareness 
4. Tell your metaphor

Milton Erickson was notorious for telling stories about his vegetable garden when working with weight loss clients. He would speak about how beautiful his tomatoes were and how the tomatoes knew exactly how to take in just the right amount of water, sun and nutrients from the soil in order to grow to just the right size and shape. His clients would hear these stories and sometimes become upset that Milton was using their therapy time to talk about his vegetable garden. However, over time the clients would start to lose weight and reach their goals.

If you are interested in learning more about the unconscious mind and the many ways you can successfully attract your goals, dreams and aspirations, you can join Linda's mailing list at http://www.resultscatalyst.ca/?page=newsletter to receive valuable information on these topics and regular updates about upcoming events and workshops.

Get Motivated

How to get motivated: 4 NLP strategies that work

Author: Anna Aparicio

/mo·ti·va·tion/

1. The reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way

2. The general desire or willingness of someone to do something

3. *My own definition: the art of getting off your butt and getting stuff done

Because here is the thing: you may have a burning desire to do something, you may have the best will in the world, you may even know all the reasons why you should do it… but if you haven't done it yet, don't be surprised.

Getting motivated doesn't happen by coincidence or by miracle. Motivation is not something that some people have and others don't either. It is something we all do, consciously or unconsciously, everyday!

Motivation is not something you have or don't have; it is something you do

Take training, for example, notice I say training, and not exercising! We want to do it, we know it is good for us, we know it is going to make us look better and feel better… but after a hard day's work, when tiredness sets in, who would blame us for wanting to slouch on the couch and watch some TV while eating our favourite treat?

Well, think of taking a shower for a moment. Most of us do it every day. We don't wait until we are all stinky to clean ourselves. We do it because it is the right thing to do; it is time to take a shower.

We are able to do this because we have built up this good habit over the years through repetition. We do it at the same time, in the same place, following the same routine, which is so ingrained in our unconscious that we are barely aware of the process.

If you want to get to the point where your training routine goes as smoothly as your shower routine, start following the following NLP rules:

1# IDENTIFY EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT TO DO

Answer these questions:

What do you want specifically? When do you want it by? Where? With whom? What for? What will happen if you achieve that? What if you don't achieve that? Is it under your control? Is it worth it?

You see, when setting up goals, a lot of people do it wrong. They state what they want to have, not what they want to do; things like "I want to be slim", "I want a six pack" or "I want to have toned arms"… But, what do you want to do? Because it is as a result of you doing what you need to do that you will get to have what you want.

Your objective needs to be stated in a way that your brain understands it. And just like your computer, your brain needs 3 things: affirmative statements that are direct and very specific.

If you are just thinking it then it is not an objective, it is just a thought. So, put pen to paper and write your answers to the questions above.

If you don't know what you want, how will you know when you've got there?

2# MAKE A PLAN

Again, if you don't have a plan, all you have is a lovely thought. I suggest you get yourself a diary, an excel sheet, a calendar, whatever works for you, and devise your personal strategy. A strategy to suit your lifestyle, your working schedule, etc…

Keeping the end result in mind, what is the first step you need to take in order for you to do what you need to do? And after that? What's next? Do you have all the resources you need (resources are materials, books, money, people…), or do you need help?

If it's going to take you 12 weeks to get a six pack, set a date and work backwards from there. If you want to lose a stone in 3 weeks, do the same. Break your objective into smaller, more achievable chunks, so that this week you know exactly what you are doing with regards to training and nutrition, and you can focus on just that. As I tell my clients, it's one week at a time, one day at a time.

You see, now you have more than just a nice thought; now you have a plan of action. And believe it or not, this is what most people lack. It's hard to get motivated if you don't know what you want to get motivated for!

And what are you going to do when you are tired, sad, in a mad mood, frustrated…? You must put strategies in place, so when that happens, and it will, you know exactly what to do. You have to become a bit of a ninja!

3# FIND OUT WHAT FIRES YOU UP

There are a lot of things that we need to or should do, but that doesn't mean we do them. So I want you to try on the following sentences, simply add what you want to be able to do at the end.

For example, if you want to go to the gym every day at 6pm for an hour, try these on. Say them out loud:

I should go to the gym – I need to go to the gym – I have to go to the gym – I'd better go to the gym -

I could go to the gym – I can go to the gym – I will go to the gym – I'm going to the gym

Do this a few times and notice which one creates the strongest feeling within you, like you want to go do it. You've just unlocked your personal motivational language. Make sure you use it from now on!

4# IMAGINE YOURSELF SUCCEEDING

One of the main functions of the brain is to prove itself right. So, whatever you focus on is magnified, as the brain thinks it is an objective of yours. Also, the brain doesn't know the difference between a vividly imagined memory and reality. This is why if you want to do something, it's vital you imagine yourself doing it like this (read this NLP resource fully before you do it):

Think of yourself doing the thing you want to do, training in the gym, or whatever. When you think about it you may notice the thought to be at a certain distance from you, a certain size, and in a certain place. Just make sure you see yourself in it, looking happy, positive and really enjoying what you are doing.

Now, imagine the thought getting bigger and bigger until it's almost panoramic. Make sure it's big, bold and colourful, maybe add some sound to it, and notice how good you feel.

Now, imagine you can float outside of your body and into yourself in the image, so you can see through your eyes, hear through your ears and feel how good it feels to be doing what you are doing and loving it too! Intensify everything even more, so the colours are brighter, the sounds louder and the feelings stronger.

Now, tell yourself in your most motivating voice "Go For It!"

Now, take a deep breath through the nose and magnify the feelings so you feel even more motivated!

Repeat 3 times, first sitting down, and then standing up, and notice how you feel even more motivated!

It's vital that you build a propulsion system that makes you feel good and look forward to doing the things you want to do, so that you want to do them more and more. This is how you get to build up new more useful habits to last you a lifetime.

I've just shared 4 motivational strategies with you, that when you use them, they will help you get more stuff done and achieve more, faster. They can be applied in any area of your life. These strategies have helped transform some of my clients from couch potatoes into fitness freaks, so good luck to you!

About the Author

Anna Aparicio is regarded as Ireland's top female NLP/Hypnosis Life Coach. A Self-esteem and Confidence Expert, she has helped hundreds of women all around the world feel empowered, super confident, and lead happier more succesful lives. With a unique blend of Neuro-linguistic Programming, cutting edge personal development tools, and a contagious sense of humour and zest for life, Anna is renowned for getting results fast.