Why Worry?

Do you ever worry?  If so, why?  And should you?  If not, how can you stop worrying?

If I am asked the question "do you ever worry?" I always answer "no".  I will explain in a moment why I can say that and how you can too, but strictly speaking it is not 100% accurate.  I do worry - for a few seconds while the worry works its true purpose.  And what is that purpose?  Worry has the same purpose as pain - to make me aware that there is a problem and that I should try to do something about it.

Just like pain, when you are aware there is a problem and have done whatever you can to deal with it, the worry has served its purpose.  But also just like pain, the worry normally lasts until the problem has completely gone away - and sometimes even beyond this.  It makes no difference that you have responded to your body's signal and that continuation of the pain or the worry is no longer required.  Unless you have learned techniques to stop it, the pain or worry just goes on and on.

In the case of pain there are mental techniques you can use to reduce or even eliminate it, or rather to reduce or eliminate the unpleasant effects.  Most of us either don't know those techniques or find them too difficult to use when we are distracted by severe pain.  But there is medication we can use which can be very effective in numbing the pain.  Likewise for worry.

One problem with medication is that if you use it too much you become dependent on it, and at the same time it can become less and less effective.  It is much better if you can deal with the root of the problem, in this case the worry, rather than taking drugs to dull your reaction to it.

Once the worry has done its job of making you aware that "Houston, we have a problem!" the first thing you must do is address that problem.  It would have been very foolish of Jack Swigert, the Apollo 13 astronaut, simply to have ignored the problem, pretended it didn't exist, and hope it would go away.  He did the right thing and took action.  It would be very foolish of you, too, to ignore the problem when a worry arises.  You must focus on what the worry is warning you about.  Identify the problem, look at what action or actions you can take to address the problem, decide on the most appropriate actions, and take them.  This should always be the first step.

Having taken the appropriate actions you no longer need the worry.  But unless you do something about it that worry will remain.  At this point it is not only unnecessary but also usually counter-productive.  It can leave you like a rabbit caught in the headlights and stop you taking the necessary actions.  And remember what usually happens to that rabbit if it doesn't take immediate action!

The way I always deal with "post action" worry is a technique I have used since childhood, and I can guarantee it has always worked for me.

The technique, in a nutshell, is very simple.

First list the possible end results of whatever it is that is worrying you.  What are the most devastating possible results?  How likely are they?  Cross out any that are very unlikely.  Then focus on the most devastating of those that remain.

At this point you are now going to do something counter-intuitive, especially if, like me, you believe in and practise the Law of Attraction.  You are going to imagine that this has already happened.  What changes will that mean in your life?  Is there anything you can and should do to react to those changes and make your life a little better?  Don't skip past this step, worrying (see that word again?) that you will invoke the Law of Attraction and create the very problem you want to avoid.  Yes, if you stop there, like that rabbit, then you WILL invoke the Law of Attraction.  You are NOT going to stop there, but you do first have to experience this situation in your mind.

Now answer this question.  Just how bad is life for you now this bad thing has happened?  How does this compare with other bad experiences you have had previously?  How does it compare with the bad things you have seen around you or on the news that have happened to others less fortunate than you?  Once you have taken the actions you have thought about to limit the damage, then how bad is it?

Perhaps I have been fortunate, but in the 50 years I have been doing this I have never yet come across a problem that still seemed completely overpowering once I have analysed it in this way.  Not even when I was diagnosed with cancer.

Once you have accepted the possible consequences of whatever has been worrying you, go back to the action you have taken or have resolved to take which will probably make the problem go away anyway.  Recognize that because you have done this, the bad experience you have just analyzed will probably not happen anyway.  Focus on that action.  Make sure you do everything possible to help it counter the identified problem. 

Or if there is no action you can and should take, then focus anyway on the possible positive outcomes.  In my experience, most of the things we worry about never actually happen, or if they do they cause much less damage than we expect.  So focus on this.  Now you ARE using the Law of Attraction, so don't skip this step either, as it is making it far less likely that your life will be affected badly by the problem.

Once you have taken all these steps, you have done all you can.  The worry has done its job.  Thank it for making you aware of the problem, and then simply allow it to slip away.  Believe me, if you follow these step properly then slip away it will.

And that is it!  This is a complete strategy for dealing with worry.  Not something I just read about and thought it sounded like a nice idea, but a strategy I have used successfully for the past 50 years.  Use it properly, and watch your worries melt away!

Like a Little Child

Are you like a little child?

My Christian friends will be very familiar with this verse from Matthew 18:2-3:

He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them.  And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

But I believe this is not simply a religious verse, and certainly not one that is only for Christians.  All of us who are trying to improve ourselves and the circumstances in which we live should take note.

As we go through life we acquire more and more rules that constrain us.  Those "rules" limit our freedom to be what we are truly capable of being.  They stop us from developing our full potential.

One big difference between an adult and a little child is that the child has very few internalized rules.  A child knows there are certain rules that must be followed, but those are mostly common sense rules and ethically sound rules, not the massive rule book that most of us carry around without even realizing it.  Also, in a lot of cases those rules are not yet internalized.  The child knows that if he or she does not follow the rule, and that this is noticed by an adult, something bad might happen.  But if an opportunity to break the rule arises, that opportunity may well be taken.

I am not, of course, suggesting that we throw our rule books completely out the window, living our lives selfishly and without being concerned at all about the consequences of our actions.  Certainly not deciding that we will only follow a moral code when we are being watched but break every rule in that moral code when nobody will see.  So what, exactly, am I suggesting?

The first step I am suggesting is to recognize the burden you are carrying.  The burden of a "book of law" you are carrying and trying to follow, most of which is simply not appropriate.

Your "book of law" is what is stopping you from growing and bearing fruit in the way you could and should do.  It is stopping you following those dreams and ambitions you had as a little child.  It is stopping you becoming a much happier, much more fulfilled person.  Most of what is in that rule book is simply not appropriate.  In the main it does not consist of rules you have consciously studied and decided are right for you.  It mainly consists of rules that you have "acquired" through your life and which were thrown at you by others.  Many of those rules are hidden deep within your subconscious mind.  Not only were they created for you by someone else, or by the experiences through which you have lived, but you never actually consciously examined them and agreed they were the right rules to follow.  So begin by deciding you will throw away this inappropriate rule book.  Make a decision now that you will not allow it to control you any longer.

Having decided you will throw away the rule book, make sure you replace it with a set of rules that you DO wish to follow.  Spend some time thinking about those rules.  The time you spend doing this is very important, as it will determine the direction your life will now take.  Choose wisely and your life in the future will be very different.

Each of us must make our own decision here.  It is not for me, nor for anyone else, to tell you what should be in your rule book.  For those who are religious it may be whatever is your holy book.  The Bible, the Qu'ran, the Tanakh, Guru Granth Sahib, the Vedas, the Tripitaka or some other holy canon.  For those who are not religious it may be a set of ethical principles you truly believe are important to follow.

I have said I will not impose my own rule book on you, and I will not.  But I will tell you what I have decided should be in mine, and it is then up to you if you find this fits comfortably into your own situation.

My number one rule is the Golden Rule.  "Whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law".  Another quote from the book of Matthew in the Christian Bible.  That is my absolute, unbreakable rule.  Any other rules I decide to follow always have to fit comfortably with the Golden Rule.

My number two rule may surprise and disturb some of my readers, but hear me out before you reject it.  This rule is one introduced in the early 1900s by the magician Aleister Crowley and is the basis of his Thelema philosophy.  It begins as follows:  "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law."  Many people completely misunderstand this rule and think it means there is no rule at all and that we should all do exactly what we like, no matter what the consequences for those around us.  But this is not the case.  Read the second half of this rule: "Love is the law, love under will."  This fits nicely with the Golden Rule.  If we truly make love the centre of our rule book we cannot go far wrong.  The real meaning of "Do what thou wilt" is that you should find your own true path in life.  You should discover your true "will" that is hidden deep within you.  Find what it is you really want to achieve in life and go for it!

So, become like a little child.  Remove the fetters that are preventing you becoming what you truly could and should become!  Enjoy the freedom of a little child, but still controlled by rules that you have studied and with which you fully agree.

You are the Creator

I know some of my religious friends will accuse me of blasphemy for saying this, but if you look beyond the superficial meaning you will see this is true - you ARE the creator.

As it happens, I AM religious and I do believe in God, the Creator.  But I also believe we are each the creator of our own world.  Working in tandem with God we do create the world in which we live.

In what sense?

In a number of ways.

The world around you is simply energy, and it is the way you interpret that energy that determines how that world appears to you.  When I look around me I see God's creation and see that it is very beautiful.  I see the lovely colours.  I hear beautiful sounds - for example the lovely sound of a blackbird singing.  I smell the wonderful perfumes released by so many flowers around me.  I interact with that world and, just like the God of the Old Testament, I see that it is good!

I live in the same world as everyone around me, yet at the same time it is a very different world.  The same energies are there for us all to see, hear, smell, taste and feel.  But we all interpret those energies in different ways.  I choose to see, hear, smell, taste and feel the beauty of the world in which I live.  I see that it is good.  It is very good!  And I always give thanks to God for this wonderful world.  For my Christian readers, remember what St Paul said in 1 Timothy 4:4: "For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving!"  I couldn't put it better!

I join with Louis Armstrong in singing this beautiful song by Bob Thiele and George David Weiss:

I see trees of green, red roses too

I see them bloom for me and you

And I think to myself what a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white

The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night

And I think to myself what a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky

Are also on the faces of people going by

I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do

They're really saying I love you

I hear babies crying, I watch them grow

They'll learn much more than I'll never know

And I think to myself what a wonderful world

Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world

So no matter what is happening in my life I am always thankful that I live in a wonderful world.  The same world everyone around me lives in, but where perhaps they see only grey colours, threatening situations, missed opportunities, I see the great beauty of this wonderful world and thank God every day for putting me in it.

That is one way I create my world, by tuning my senses so they recognize the beauty that is all around me, living gratefully for the privilege given to me to live in this beautiful world.  This actually creates the beauty, as beauty is simply in the eye of the beholder.  It is the same energy that surrounds everyone else, but I choose to see and enjoy the beauty.  A choice we all have, but one which far too few make.

I also create my world by choosing with what and with whom I will surround myself.  This, too, is at least partly my choice.  Yes, I recognize it is only partly my choice and that I must accept it is a shared creation.  Others may well control some of what surrounds me.  But I do have some choice here.  I can choose to mix with positive people or negative people.  I choose positive.  I can choose to read and watch beautiful things.  I can choose many of the things I have around me.  I choose to be happy by surrounding myself with things and people that make me happy.  And where I have no choice for some of those things and people I see the beauty in them anyway.

And I create my world by allowing those main choices (the choice of recognizing beauty, being thankful for it, and surrounding myself with all that I enjoy) to attract to me all that is necessary for me to continue to have a better life.  The power of manifestation - yet another way in which I am the creator of my own world.

You are the creator of your world too.  What kind of a world are you creating right now?  Do you look at it and see that it is good?  If not, begin working right now to change that world.  You have the power!  Use it!

Independence Day

As I write this article my friends in the United States are celebrating Independence Day.  The day the then 13 colonies in America chose to throw off the shackles of their colonial masters and instead declare their independence from Great Britain.  Well, perhaps not quite the day that happened.  The Declaration of Independence was issued on July 2nd, not July 4th.  John Adams declared July 2nd would be "the most memorable Epocha in the History of America",  but the final revision of the Declaration was not finalized until July 4th, so July 2nd is not regarded as very important at all.  One could argue, in fact, that the true Independence Day was August 2nd, as that is when most of the signatures were appended to the Declaration.  Or September 3rd, as that is the day in 1783 that the Revolutionary War ended.  Or even November 25th, being the day British troops left with their tails between their legs.  But I guess, given the different possible interpretations of exactly when the United States gained its Independence, the choice of July 4th is as good as any!

But when is your Independence Day?  Not the day your country, wherever it may be, became independent from whichever colonial power tried to insist it was an owned colony rather than a free state.  But the day you personally became independent?  The day you personally freed yourself from shackles and became your own man or woman.  When was that?  Or have you not yet gained your independence?  Is this something for which you must still fight?

Independence from what?  Independence from all the rules that are stopping you from being who you really want to be and achieving what you really want to achieve.

And who imposes those rules on you?  A king in a far off land?  No.  The government in your own land?  No.  Your parents, your spouse, your teacher, your boss?  None of these.  The person who imposes and enforces these restraining rules on you is none other than yourself!

What is stopping you from being who you really want to be?  A voice inside you telling you that it is wrong to want to be that person.  A voice that says it is too difficult.  A voice that says you don't have the right to be that way.  A voice that may have originally arisen because of something your parents, teachers, "friends", or maybe other "authorities" through the subtleties of hidden messages in the books you read and films or dramas you watch on TV.  But a voice that is now a part of you and that is determined to stop you changing in any way.

So in order to become what you want to be, to live the kind of life you want to live, first you must claim your own Independence from the colonial power within you.  The power that arose from somewhere outside of you, but is now an integral inner part of you.  Just as there were many colonials born and living in 18th century America who wanted to maintain the colonial rule of King George III (or, more accurately, of Lord Frederick North, 2nd Earl of Guildford, who was the real power behind the throne).

How do you obtain your own Independence?

First, by recognizing that at the moment you are not a free man or woman.  That there are voices within that do not want you to succeed, that do not want you or your life to change for the better.  Recognizing this is your July 2nd.  A day that will be "the most memorable Epocha in the History of [insert your name here]".  Your John Adams moment.

Second, by drawing your line in the sand.  When you say "enough is enough - I will no longer obey or even listen to this voice!"  Your July 4th moment.

Third, by conducting an ongoing struggle against the parasite within you that does not want you to gain your Independence.

The American Revolutionary War lasted 8 years.  Your Internal Revolutionary War will probably last a lot longer, as you will be fighting not against one colonial power but a multitude of powers.  But do not let this depress you, as your first Independence Day will be a lot earlier than this as long as you write your own Declaration of Independence now.  You will have many wins.  With each win your life will become better.  And with each win you will identify another colonial power whose defeat will allow you to have an even better life.  With each win you will become more powerful, and more able readily to defeat all those inner voices holding you back.

Today is Independence Day.  Your Independence!  Make your Declaration of Independence right now and claim the territory that is rightfully yours!