Wednesday, 9 September 2015

Self Empowerment

If only ...!

Have you ever used those words?  I bet you have!

If only I could lose another few pounds!  If only I had more money!  If only [spouse name] would understand me better!  If only I could be more successful!  If only ...!

But did you realize that by saying "if only ..." in this way you are making it far less likely that whatever you are wishing for will happen?  "If only ..." tells your subconscious mind that you do not believe it is possible.  Your subconscious mind believes whatever you tell it, especially if there is emotion attached to what you say, and what your subconscious mind truly believes will come to pass.

When you say "if only I could lose another few pounds!" you are telling your subconscious that you have reached the limit of your slimming ability and it is not possible for you to lose any more weight, not even a single pound.  Your subconscious will note this and will ensure you do not lose any more weight.  You will now either stay the same weight or even put on a few more pounds.  Is that what you wanted to happen?  Of course not!

When you say "if only I had more money!" you are telling your subconscious that the amount of money you have in your bank right now (or at least the rolling average balance) is all you will ever have.  No matter what you try to do about it you will never be able to get any more.  Your subconscious will note this and will ensure you do not increase that balance except temporarily.  Either your rolling average will remain the same from now on or it will go even lower.  Is that what you wanted to happen?  I think not!

It gets even worse when your "if only ..." relates to people around you.  Not only do you give the wrong message to your own subconscious, but you also broadcast it to those people too, to their subconscious.  Now you have both your own subconcious and that of the people around you working against you.  How's that for setting yourself up for failure?

The biggest step you can take to self empowerment is to stop saying "if only ...!".  Wipe that phrase out of your vocabulary for good!  It does not exist!

It is so easy to turn it around.  Take "if only I could lose a few more pounds!"  Now wipe out "if only".  It changes into "I could lose a few more pounds" - much better!  As a second step, change that subjunctive tense of "could", which makes it a bit wishy washy and uncertain.  Some people change it into the future tense - "I will lose a few more pounds" - but you should instead say something which makes you feel as though you have already achieved this goal.  So "I have lost another four pounds!" would be a great way to modify this "if only".

Or "if only I had more money", becomes "I had more money", which then becomes "I have more money".  All you have to to now is quantify that statement with your monetary goal and you are there.

Everyone can use this self empowerment method, and it is very powerful indeed.  You don't even have to worry about what you need to focus on, as the "if only ..." phrases that try to emerge tell you where you can and should empower yourself.

From this moment on promise yourself you will never say "if only ..." ever again, or will only allow that phrase to appear fleetingly in order to determine what your next goal should be.  Do this and I have a promise for you - you will find your self empowerment has been ratched up enormously, which will make a tremendous difference in your life and the way you feel!

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