Book of the Law

What is the "Book of the Law" that you carry with you?  How do you use it?

Each of us has a "Book of the Law", even those who appear to be pretty lawless.  And most of us, unfortunately, use it in completely the wrong way.  Do you have a vision of Sylvester Stallone wielding his Book of the Law in the film "Judge Dredd"?  If so, that is probably a good image to retain while thinking about this topic.

Let's first look at what I mean by the "Book of the Law".  It is a complete moral and ethical code that determines exactly what you should be doing, what you should be thinking, and what you should be feeling every minute of every day.  Does that sound rather extreme and repressive?  Good!  It should!  None of us should be so totally controlled as this - but most of us are!

If you are religious you may well say that your Book of the Law is the book that is the basis of your religion.  The Bible.  The Holy Quran.  The Torah and the Talmud.  The Book of Mormon.  The Bhagavad Gita.  The Tripitakas.  Guru Granth Sahib.  Kitáb-i-Aqdas.  The Book of Rites.  The Agamas.  Or whatever holy book contains the rules you try to follow.  Even if you are not religious you may still take something from a sacred text and try to live by it as your Book of Law - for example "the 10 commandments".

Maybe you don't identify with any of the above.  You may think you don't have a Book of Law.  But I can guarantee you do.

For those who believe their Book of Law is a particular sacred text, I am now going to say something that may shock you.  Although that text may be a part of your Book of Law it is not the whole of that book, nor even is it the main content of that book.

As I have said, your Book of Law is a complete statement of everything you should be doing, everything you should not be doing, everything you should be thinking, everything you should not be thinking, everything you should be feeling, and everything you should not be feeling.  It may be largely based on a sacred text, but it is certainly not just that text.  For a start, no sacred text, no matter how detailed, can be so complete that it covers everything.  And also, nobody is so insulated from every outside influence that they are only influenced by one sacred text and nothing else.

We each begin "writing" our Book of Law from soon after we are born.  Mummy says "Don't do that!  It's not nice!" and that goes right in the Book.  Daddy says "That's naughty!" and that goes in the Book too.  Big brother says "Stop it!" and that goes in.  Teacher says "No, you are wrong!" and you write that in your book.  You are told to read a sacred text, and everything you read there is copied into your Book.

So far I have mainly covered the negatives.  But all the positive strokes go in there too.  For example your partner says "Yes, that is so good!" and that gets written in your Book.

I have also mainly covered things said to and aimed at you.  But everything you see, hear and feel gets interpreted and is added to your Book.  You see good things happening to friends, and your unconscious tries to work out what actions led to this and then adds a new rule to your Book.  You see bad things happening to friends, and your unconscious tries to work out what actions led to this and then adds another new rule to your Book.  Sometimes this can be a good thing.  Especially if you have ensured you associate with good, successful people.  But it will not always be good, as your unconscious mind does not always interpret cause and effect correctly, and some quite irrational rules can be added as a result.

As you watch your favourite drama on television, and something good or bad happens to one of the characters, you will unconsciously be assessing what actions led up to that good or bad result and then that gets added to your Book too.  The same with films you watch and novels you read.  Perhaps you need to take a little more care over what you expose yourself to - or at least be aware of what is happening here and try to counteract it.

Nothing written in your Book of Law is ever erased unless you take great trouble to erase it.  So when your partner says "Yes, that is so good!" that stays even if you change partners and whatever it was is not enjoyed by your new partner!

How do you use your Book of Law?

Well, obviously one way you use it is to decide what is good and what is bad.  If you are strongly religious you are more likely to modify this if it conflicts in any way with what you have learned from your sacred text.  But the fact that you are first led one way and then have to consciously counteract this can create issues for you.  It would probably make life more comfortable for you if you had some way of finding out what some of those "false" rules in your Book are and then neutralizing them.

But that is not the only way you use it.  You also use it rather like Judge Dredd in the famous comic series and movie.  You judge yourself for having broken one of the laws - perhaps only by fleetingly having thought how nice it might be to do something which is shown in your Book as inappropriate.  Having judged yourself, you then punish yourself.  Unfortunately that is not an end to it.  Every time you remember that you broke this law, your Judge rises again and punishes you again.  This can happen many, many times for just one lapse (or even something that isn't a lapse but that conflicts with your Book).

What is even worse is that you will find there are many conflicting laws in your Book.  There are bound to be lots of cases where something you were told or you worked out was good, there is later something that seems to illustrate it was bad.  Rather than one rule replacing the other, you end up with both rules in your Book.  So you are "damned if you do and damned if you don't".

What should by now be clear to you is that it would be good to have some way of removing all these superfluous, and often completely wrong, rules in your Book of Law.  Fortunately there are a number of tools you can use and a number of coaches who specialize in this area.  Look for terms such as "Limiting Beliefs", "Abundance Blocks", or simply "Blocks".

One coach I have found who is very good at removing unwanted rules from your Book of Law is Christie Marie Sheldon.  She runs a free Masterclass on this called "Unblock Your Abundance".  Check it out at http://mval.li/?a=84&c=1762&p=r&s1=

Stalled Goals

Do you have any goals you have not yet reached?  I am sure you do, even if you haven't paid much thought to them recently.  Humour me a moment and write down some of those goals, perhaps the most important ones.

Against each of the goals, write down why you have not yet reached it.

If you have written that you simply haven't got there yet, but are on the way, and if this is completely honest, then congratulations!  That is exactly the way things should be!  You should always have goals you have achieved, hopefully many such goals, and also goals you are on the way to reaching.  It would certainly not be a good thing simply to have a whole series of goals you have already reached, and no further goals you want to reach.

I suspect, though, that if you are honest you will not have written "on the way" against every single unachieved goal.  Let us have a look at those goals and see what the problem is.

Sometimes we think we want to achieve something, but as we start working towards it our desires change.  This is no longer something we really want to achieve.  If that is the case, cross that goal out.  It doesn't belong on the list.  Every one of us will have changed some of our goals during our life, not because we think they are unattainable but because we realize we have evolved and those goals no longer inspire us.  There is no problem here - you just need to tidy up your list a little - there is no point pretending to yourself that you want something when really you don't.

But sometimes we also have goals we still want to achieve but we are not making any progress towards them.  These are the goals we need to look at very carefully.

As a first step, make sure none of those goals belong in the "cross out" list.  For each goal, think deeply about this question - do you really want to achieve this?  I know you initially left it on the "want to achieve" list, but does it truly still inspire you?  When thinking about this, don't confuse the issue by trying to decide whether or not it is achievable - just think about whether or not it is something that really inspires you when you think about it.

You may find a few goals do need to be transferred to the "cross out" list.  If so, cross them out.  Don't leave them on the list.  They don't belong there.

So now look through the remaining goals.  The ones you know you would still like to achieve but against which you are not making any progress.  These are what I refer to as "Stalled Goals".

For each of your "stalled goals" you now need to try to work out why they are stalled.

There can be many reasons for this, but I tend to divide those reasons into just three:

1.  I don't believe it is achievable.
2.  There is something inside me that seems to stop me from making any progress even though I believe it should be achievable.
3.  There is nothing blocking me, and I am certain it is achievable, but I simply cannot be bothered.

The division between each of these reasons may be a bit murky.  Perhaps there is a combination of reasons.  But usually you can place the main reason squarely within one of the three.  So I am now going to show you how to start chipping away at the reasons for the stall.

I don't believe it is achievable

There is nothing that is completely unachievable, no matter how ambitious it may seem.  You have to be prepared to move outside your comfort zone.  Maybe by so doing you will find what you thought couldn't happen actually can.

In many cases, though, this is not enough by itself.  Even moving outside your comfort zone you cannot see any way you could achieve this.  Don't worry, this is not the end of the process!

Where you very much want to achieve something but feel it is completely unachievable, begin by breaking it down, where possible, into smaller "jumps".  By looking at the end result, and seeing all the obstacles in the way of achieving it, you are convincing yourself it is impossible - but nothing is impossible.  Nothing!  Imagine you cannot swim, and between you and your goal there is a very big and deep river.  If you just see the goal in the distance and the very wide river you will not even begin to do anything to reach your goal, as it doesn't seem possible to get there.  But now I want you to look much more carefully at what is in the river.  Can you see there are stepping stones there?  When you were focussed on the goal you couldn't see those stones, but now you can see they are there.  Jump from the bank to the first stone.  You are not at your goal, but you are one step closer.  Now jump to the next one.  You are two steps closer.  Keep doing this and you will keep narrowing the distance.  Eventually you will find there is just one more jump and you have reached your goal.

Each time you make a small jump, you are not only one step closer to your ultimate goal, but also you have reached a smaller goal which can also bring you happiness.  So keep making those small steps and keep changing your life for the better.

Something inside me is stopping me from making any progress

This is a very common reason.  Such limiting beliefs are more common that perhaps you realize.  Somewhere deep inside you is an illogical, but powerful argument that says you shouldn't get there.  Maybe it says it is wrong to try, that in some way your goal is sinful.  Maybe it says you don't deserve it.  Sit still for a moment and see what thoughts rise to the surface as you meditate on this goal.  Almost certainly you will find a reason that has no logic.  Once you have identified this reason, give it a form.  For example, make it a small but nasty green monster.  Pick up that monster, tell it that it no longer belongs here, and throw it in a dustbin.  Do this with full focus and you will find the power of this block is greatly diminished.  It has been inside you for many years, so you may need to repeat the exercise several times.  Each time you do, you will take away more and more of its power, until eventually it has gone completely.  You should feel as though a burden has been lifted, and now you can make progress towards your desired goal.

I cannot be bothered

If truth be told, this reason afflicts us all.  We have to take action to get anything that is worthwhile.  Yes, we want it, but we are lazy and cannot be bothered.

The answer to this one is to do something that DOES make us bothered.  Focus on what your life is like now, without reaching this goal, and what it will be like once you have reached it.  Do this enough times and the energy you will stir up inside yourself will be enough to propel you into action so you CAN reach your goal.

Summary

Most, if not all, of us have stalled goals.  But just like a stalled car engine, there is usually something we can do to start it - even if that means calling on a professional who knows how to do it.  So get out there and start your engine!

The Habit of Gratitude

"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breath, to think, to enjoy, to love."

No, this is not something written by a "new thought" guru.  It was written by the Stoic Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, some time between 161 and 180 AD.  Marcus Aurelius was very much a student and practitioner of self-improvement.  He even wrote his "Meditations" (from which this quote comes) in Biblical Greek rather than his native Latin, purely to improve his fluency in that language.

How do you awaken every morning?  How do you feel?  What are your first thoughts and feelings?  Do you open your eyes, smile, and say "Good morning, God!", or do you keep your eyes closed, sigh, and say "Good God, Morning!"?  I hope usually the former, but perhaps at least some days it is more the latter!

The truth is, it really is a precious privilege to be alive, just as Marcus Aurelius said nearly 2,000 years ago.  So perhaps you should try to make your first thought when you awake a feeling of gratitude that you are still alive.  You have many things for which you should be grateful, but certainly being alive must be one of them.

It may not be easy at first to adopt this new habit.  But try to make it that - a habit of gratitude.  First recognize that you are still alive, that you are breathing.  That shouldn't be too difficult, even when you are half asleep and bleary eyed!  Then recognize that you have the ability to think.  Know that you have the right to enjoy this extra day you have been given life.  And feel the wonderful power of love around and within you.

When you first try to do this you will probably find it is quite erratic.  One day you will remember the moment you awaken.  The next day you will forget, and maybe only around midday will you suddenly remember that you forgot your morning "gratitude exercise".  When that happens, don't worry.  Simply feel and express your gratitude for life, thought, happiness and love the moment you remember to do so.  Just try whenever you can to remember to do it first thing so it colours your attitude to the rest of the day.

After a while you will find it starts to become a habit.  Some gurus will tell you that it takes 21 days to establish a habit.  But don't take that as gospel.  Otherwise you will be trapped into worrying when you miss a day and perhaps thinking you have to start counting towards 21 all over again, or at least deduct a few days from your progress towards 21.  The reality is there is no magic number to create a habit, not 21, or 30 or any other number.  So just keep doing it, and don't berate yourself when you miss a day, or even several days in a row.  Just keep going.  Express your gratitude every day, preferably at least when you wake up, but also later in the day - ideally in the latter case thinking of some specifics other than just life, happiness and love for which you have every reason to be grateful.

When gratitude becomes a habit you will find your life changes significantly, and for the better.  As I said before, we all have good reason to be grateful.  If you want to look for reasons to be unhappy I am quite sure you can easily find them.  But I also know you have many reasons to be happy.  So make it a habit to be grateful for those reasons you have to be happy.  By reminding yourself you have good reason to be happy, you will find you ARE happy.  And wouldn't you far rather be happy than be sad?

What you will also find is that things around you begin to change, and you will have even more reasons to be grateful.  Simply by feeling and expressing gratitude you will attract to yourself people and situations that will make you even more grateful, that will give you more reasons to be happy, that will increase the love you have for others and the love others return to you.

What a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breath, to think, to enjoy, to love.  It really is a privilege.  Recognize this, be grateful for it, and reap the enormous benefits you will gain as you do so.

Abundance Blocks

If you have been studying personal development for a while you have probably come across the term "abundance block".  But what exactly is it, and why is it important?

Your unconscious mind is very much like a computer.  Program it in the right way and it will give you the right answer.  But the term "gigo" (garbage in - garbage out) very much applies here.  It has no good way of testing the truth or otherwise of what it is told.  Again, just like a computer.  If you write a program instructing your computer to do certain things, and if you use the right syntax to write the program instructions, it will do exactly what you say.  It doesn't care whether or not there is any logic in what it is being told to do, even though it is an entirely logical machine.  It just does it because it has been told to do it.

On being told this, some people think all they need to do is give the right instructions to their unconscious mind and all will be well.  They prepare the right "affirmations", recite them every day, and then expect their unconscious mind to start creating opportunities which will lead them to their goal.  In theory this should work.  In practice it often doesn't, and it is then tempting to say "affirmations don't achieve anything - they are a complete waste of time and effort!"  But the reason it doesn't work is because there is some deep seated underlying "programming" which is taking us in a very different direction.  This underlying programming creates "abundance blocks".

Abundance blocks can be created at any time, but many of the more powerful blocks were created many years ago, often during very early childhood.

There are many different kinds of abundance blocks.  The way in which they block us differs, but the end result is the same.

A very common abundance block is the belief that we do not deserve abundance.  That abundance may be wealth, and it often is.  But it may be, for example, good relationships, a satisfying career, etc, etc.  Anything, in fact, that we would like to achieve.

So your unconscious mind may have been programmed to believe you do not deserve to be wealthy, or do not deserve to have love, or do not deserve to have a good job.  Often, it is so deeply buried that you don't even realize it is there.  You try to become wealthier, but your unconscious mind "knows" that you do not deserve to be wealthy, as that it what it was programmed to believe many years ago.  And so it refuses to let you become wealthy.  Or allows you to become wealthy for a brief period and then lose it all.

Or it may have been programmed to believe that whatever it is you want is evil.  Typically this will be wealth, although again it may be anything that you would regard as signalling success.  Perhaps it believes you cannot be spiritual if you are aiming for success in one way or another.  There is no conflict between a good, happy relationship and spirituality.  There is no conflict between a satisfying career and spirituality.  There is no conflict between being wealthy and being spiritual.  Did you react at all when you read any of those statements?  Did you feel some resistance inside you?  Perhaps when I said there is no conflict between being wealthy and being spiritual?  Did your unconscious mind feed you some phrases along the lines of "money is the root of all evil"?  This is a very common unconscious belief (sometimes a conscious belief too), which is completely untrue but which has created an abundance block that will prevent you becoming or remaining wealthy.

Sometimes these abundance blocks have arisen from a direct comment.  Perhaps your parents told you when you were a child that money is the root of all evil.  Or they may have told you that if you want to be successful you have to work hard.  On the surface that sounds a reasonable thing to say.  It is certainly good to work for success, to do things likely to lead you to success.  But if your unconscious believes you can only be successful if you work hard, then all the time you are not working hard (because, for example, you are getting the sleep you need, or eating the food you need to eat to stay alive!) it will decide you cannot become successful because you are not working hard.  It has a very simple program equating success with working hard and cannot recognize that sometimes you have to do something else.

Sometimes the abundance blocks have arisen indirectly.  For example, as a young child you may have heard your parents arguing about money.  Maybe not a very bitter, long argument, just the kind of "spat" most of us have from time to time.  But to your young child's mind there is now an association between money and unhappiness.  That will create a powerful abundance block.

Abundance blocks like these are usually buried very deep.  It may take some time to identify them.  One way to recognize you have them is to see how you react to words like "wealth", "money", "love", "success" etc.  Any feeling other than great joy and happiness suggests you have an abundance block you have to remove before you can receive the abundance the Universe wants you to receive.

Although it is possible to identify and remove these abundance blocks yourself, it is a lot easier to enlist help to do so.  Use a coach who specializes in this area.  Personally I have taken programs run by the excellent coach Christie Marie Sheldon.  You can attend one of her webinars free to identify and remove one of your abundance blocks, and then consider following one of her programs to deal with the many other blocks you almost certainly have.