Reacting to the Word

In my previous article I referred to the power of the Word.  This is an enormous, one could even say magical, power, hence the title "Abracadabra".  So, if someone uses the power of the Word against you, effectively casting a spell on you (whether intentionally or not), what options do you have?  How can you protect yourself from this spell?  What shield do you have to reflect the spell away from you?

Some would say you have three options:  accept, ignore or challenge.  My position is that actually you only have two: accept or challenge.  You cannot simply ignore it, as that is really a subtle way of accepting.

Imagine I come up to you and say "You are stupid!".  How would you react to this?

If you are like most people your first reaction will be anger, or at least annoyance.  Your first thought will probably be something like "How dare you say this!".  Probably you feel that is a reaction of challenge.  You are angry with the statement because you know it is false.  I disagree with this analysis and would go as far as to say this reaction is an acceptance of the basic underlying premise.  You agree, somewhere below your conscious thinking, that you are stupid, or at least that there is some stupidity within you, and you then become angry with the other person for exposing this stupidity.  So you are accepting the negative magic spell they are casting against you.

Your next reaction may then be a "tit for tat", telling them they are ..... - fill in the magic word here.  If you already know them, you may find some aspect of their personality that offends you.  If you do not know them, you may simply respond in kind with something like "You are stupid too!".

I am reminded of the apocryphal quote supposedly from Winston Churchill.  The Labour MP, Bessie Braddock (or the Conservative, Lady Astor, depending on which version you read) apparently said to Winston "Sir!  You are disgustingly drunk!", to which Winston replied "My dear, you are disgustingly ugly!  But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly!".  A very clever, if somewhat ungallant, riposte.  And one which, if delivered to Lady Astor, was in my view patently untrue.  But note it begins with an acceptance of the original statement.  Winston was not refuting that he was drunk (although a number of versions of this story suggest he wasn't drunk at all, but just tired - which might explain the uncharacteristic lack of gallantry).  His bite back at the accuser acknowledged the truth of what she said and then continued with something even more uncomplimentary about her.  It was also a very negative thing to do.  He was accepting the barb of her negative statement, allowing the spell she cast to find its mark, and then casting an even more negative spell back at her.  The damage he did, if this story is true, quite probably lasted a lifetime.  A truly evil magic spell.

So my position is that the usual "challenge" to unkind words is not a challenge at all.  But what about simply ignoring them?  If you are an accomplished Zen practitioner, if you are close to achieving the state of Nirvana, then you could completely ignore those words as irrelevant.  Personally I am not close to achieving the state of Nirvana, and I know that if I choose to ignore unkind things that are said to me I will be complicit in accepting them.  I will be helping the "evil magician" to cast his or her spell.

In that case, how do you challenge these magic spells that constantly afflict you?

You challenge them by recognizing that the words are not about you at all.  They are entirely about the person who speaks them.  That person doesn't truly know you, even if they are a close friend or family member.  The only person who really knows you is YOU.

Jesus referred to this in a powerful challenge in Matthew chapter 7.  He said:

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?  You hypocrite!  First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."

When others say nasty things to me I feel sad.  Not for myself, but for them.  What they are saying shows that they have a problem.  I don't have that problem - they do.  I challenge what they say firstly by knowing that their unkind words are expressing some weakness, some fault inside them.  And then I affirm the opposite of what they say.  Not out loud.  I am not trying to start or continue an argument.  What that person says is completely irrelevant to me, but I am not going to encourage them to repeat or expand it by being drawn into argument.

If they "You are stupid!" I affirm "I am full of wisdom!".  Note I would never respond with "I am not stupid!".  Focussing on the negative in this way gives it power.  Notice my choice of words - I "affirm".  Just as in your daily affirmations you (hopefully) use to reach your goals through manifestation, you choose to focus on the positive, not the negative.

From now on, choose not to accept the burdens so many people around you try to lay on you with their choice of words.  Recognize that what they say has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.  If you do this, and if you use their verbal negative attacks as an opportunity to affirm the positives, you will be completely protected from the magical spells that so unnecessarily hurt almost everyone else around you.