The coldest hour is just before the dawn

Have you ever felt at the end of your tether and decided that you are never going to reach your goal and perhaps you should simply just give up?

Probably this has happened to you on a number of occasions.  You may have had a lot of goals when you were younger but one by one watched them fade into the night.  Don't despair if that is the case.  You are not alone.  It happens to most of us.

But also, don't believe that it is inevitable.  It is not.  It can actually only happen if you allow it to happen.  If you are determined to reach your goal no matter what, then reach it you will.  Eventually.

Sometimes the goal itself is wrong.  As I have said in many other posts we often believe we have one goal but when we dig deep we realize our true goal was something quite different.  Our true goals form deep within us, and as they pass up from those depths they can get distorted.  Sometimes they end up distorted beyond all recognition.  So it is important every so often to sit and meditate, reflecting on your goals, and try to see through any distortions to the true goal deep inside.

Once you know you are focused on the right goals, recognize that there are likely to be many obstacles on the way towards those goals.

If you think about it, you probably wouldn't want it any other way.  If there were no obstacles it wouldn't really be a goal at all, would it?  For example, for most of us eating dinner isn't a goal.  It is just something we do.  Something that is hopefully enjoyable.  But not a goal.  For most of us there are no obstacles to eating that dinner.

Those obstacles are there ready to be challenged and overcome.  The stronger your desire to reach the goal, the greater your power to overcome the obstacles.  If you really want to reach that goal, and if it is the right goal for you, then you have all the power you need within you to overcome the hurdles and even pass through apparent solid walls between you and the goal.

Sometimes we are closest to the goal when it seems further away than it has ever been.  Whenever things seem bleak and whenever it seems that no matter what you try you can never reach your goal, always remember that you are probably the closest you have ever been to reaching it.

Have you ever heard the expression "The darkest hour is just before the dawn"?  It was introduced by Thomas Fuller in 1650.

Scientifically this is not true, but the metaphor here really is true.  Perhaps we should change it to "The coldest hour is just before the dawn", as that conveys a similar meaning and is also factually correct!

It is so often the case that everything seems dark, bleak and cold immediately before a radical change when everything becomes light, colourful and warm.

Only very recently I felt I was near the end of the possibility of reaching an important goal.  I have been struggling for several years to reach it, knowing it is a long term goal that will take many years to reach.  I say "struggling", which sounds negative, but most of the time it has been a positive "struggle" not a negative one, so perhaps I am using the wrong word here.  But only a few days ago it really seemed to me that I had reached a dead end.  The road seemed darker and colder than it had ever been before.  Did I give up?  No!  I prepared for the possibility that I had been trying to reach the wrong goal and that I might have to re-define it.  But then my natural inner positivity made me also accept that perhaps the negatives I saw all around me were illusions rather than the goal being an illusion.  The moment I reached that point I took an action to move forward one more step, a step into the dark and apparently up to a sold blocking wall.  When I did this it was as if a hidden door was opened for me.  I stepped through and found myself the other side of that wall and am now well on the way to achieving this long term goal.

So when you feel all is conspiring against you and that you can never reach your goals do not give up.  Yes, re-evaluate your goals and make sure they really are the right goals - but this is something you should always be doing anyway.  Once you have reassured yourself that you are headed in the right direction, relax in the knowledge that there is an all-powerful, beneficent force out there that will provide the ways and means for you to reach your goals as long as you keep on working towards them.

Positive Liberty

What is Liberty?

This can be quite an emotive word, and one that can cause a lot of misunderstanding.  Probably everyone who reads this believes in freedom, in liberty.  It is the way the word is interpreted that can cause sometimes quite passionate differences.  Many people at different ends of the political spectrum may totally believe their interpretation is the only correct interpretation, and are therefore incapable of understanding the points of view of those at the other end of the spectrum.

For the purpose of this article, though, I am focused on a very particular form of liberty.  An aspect of what Isaiah Berlin referred to in 1958 as "Positive Liberty".  Berlin introduced the idea that there are two basic forms of liberty that are quite different - "Negative Liberty" and "Positive Liberty".  

Negative Liberty (or Negative Freedom - the two words are quite interchangeable here) is all about the removal of external restraints.  You could say it is the Liberty that concerned the Founding Fathers of the United States.  The Liberty that is central to both the Constitution of the United States itself, and the First Amendment of the Constitution.  A system that allows people the freedom to do, say, think and believe whatever they wish as long as it does not interfere with the freedom of others.  The freedom we expect from a democracy and recognize is not present in a totalitarian system.

Positive Liberty is quite different.  It is not concerned with removing external forces that prevent us from acting in the way we wish, but rather the removal of internal restraints.

Both forms of liberty are ideals.  In my view, ideals for which we can and should always strive, but also ideals we will never completely achieve.  Striving for the ideal of negative liberty is a political aspiration.  I hope you have reasonable negative liberty wherever you are, and wish you all the best if you are striving for greater liberty.

Striving for positive liberty is central to personal development.  In my view it is even more important than negative liberty.  It is possible to live in quite a controlling political system but still be happy and feel free because one has positive liberty.  But it is not possible to be happy and feel free without any positive liberty no matter how free the political system may be.

What do I mean by positive liberty?  I mean removing all the internal constraints that prevent us from achieving what we want to achieve.  The human spirit is an amazing thing.  There are virtually no limits to what it can achieve if it really wishes to do so - provided it doesn't have internal limits constraining it.

Let me give you a simple example of an internal restraint restricting positive liberty.  Imagine you live in a village in a completely free and safe society (in fact, I hope you do!).  You have an appointment with a friend in the next village which is a pleasant 15 minute walk away.  The friend is leaving for many months and you have something important you want to discuss with her before she leaves.  She is very busy preparing for her trip and was only able to book you in just before she has to leave, which is in half an hour.  You only need 10 minutes with her, so you are happy that you are in plenty of time.  When you are only 5 minutes away you have a sudden desire to smoke.  You reach into your pocket and realize you forgot your cigarettes.  The desire to smoke is so strong you turn around and walk back home to get your cigarettes, even though you know that means you will probably now not have enough time to have that important discussion with your friend before she leaves.

In that example, how free were you?  Nobody was stopping you from visiting your friend.  No policeman barred your way and told you to go home.  But nevertheless you were not free to do what you really wanted to do - because you lack positive liberty.

I know many people reading this will feel quite smug.  "I don't have a tobacco addiction, or an addiction to anything else, so this could never happen to me!"  If so, I am pleased for you.  It is good you are not addicted to anything.  But I only used the example of an addiction to tobacco as the concept was simple and something all my readers could follow.

The reality is that we all have inner barriers and restrictions that so often prevent us from achieving what we really want to achieve.  They are not as obvious as an addiction, but the way in which they restrict our positive liberty can be just as strong.

For example, an inner belief that you are not good enough to deserve whatever it is you are striving to achieve.  This is a very common limit to positive liberty.

Or an inner belief that what you are trying to obtain is a bad thing - even though you know full well it is not.  Again, a very common limit to positive liberty.

These inner restraints that limit our positive liberty are quite insidious.  It is almost as if they know that if you could shine the light of day on them they would burn up and disappear completely, like the vampires they are!  So they hide deep down within you, shunning the light of day and never really letting you know they are there.  You believe you are free to do what you want, to achieve whatever you put your mind to, but you are not.  First you have to identify and then clear away these inner limits to your freedom.

The next time you think about what it is you want to achieve, try to become aware of the inner constraints holding you back, your limiting beliefs.  There are many ways to do this, the best of which is to have "clearing" sessions with a good energy healer, such as Christie Marie Sheldon.  You can book a free energy clearing masterclass here:

Love or Above Free Masterclass

Even if you decide not to go that route, find a way, any way that works for you, to identify and clear your limiting beliefs yourself.  For example, while thinking about your goal have a blank sheet of paper in front of you and sit with pen in hand.  Write down all the thoughts that come to you.  Don't be critical about those thoughts, simply write them down.  When you have finished the exercise look at what you have written and I think you will be amazed.  You will almost certainly see lots of limiting beliefs there.  Now you have exposed them to the hard light of day, focus on each and recognize the error of such a belief.  Watch it crumble into dust before your eyes.

Do this and you will make a massive difference to your positive liberty.  Release those inner limiting beliefs and be free!

Listen

How well do you communicate?

When I asked that question did you think about getting your message across to others?  Or did you consider whether or not you really take in the messages others are trying to get across to you?

Effective communication requires both, but especially the latter.  Most of us are too focussed on the former (but still don't get that right) and almost completely ignore the latter.

It has been said many times that there is a reason God gave us two ears but only one mouth!

The most effective communicators listen carefully to what those around them are saying.  If you DO listen carefully you may be surprised at what you sometimes hear.  Not necessarily what is said outwardly, although that too, but especially the often partially hidden inner message.

Listening to what others are saying, and the frequently different inner meaning, doesn't mean you have to agree with them.  But once you know where they are coming from it is a lot easier to know how to get across to them what YOU want them to hear and understand.  Or to realize that you might be wasting your time trying to do so with this particular person and be better off finding someone more likely to be open to what you are saying.

Listening is also important, of course, for its own sake, not simply as a means for targeting your own messages more effectively.  Everyone has needs, and some of those needs are ones you can answer.  Maybe you can answer them with very little effort or cost to yourself, but help another person achieve great things as a result.  If so, then don't be humble, don't keep thinking that you can be of little help.  Do what you can and you may be very surprised by the result.  Try to do so selflessly, but at the same time always remember that one way or another what you do comes back to you.  Help others and you will find good things ultimately come to you as a direct or indirect result.  As Qoheleth (who was probably King Solomon) said in Ecclesiastes 11: "Cast your bread upon the waters, for you will find it after many days".  There are many quite different interpretations of this, but I certainly feel one meaning is that the good things you do will come back to you and help you long after you do them.

In any relationship listening is especially important.  Do not be that person who sits watching television and responds to everything his or her spouse says with comments like "yes, dear!" but actually is not really listening at all.  Have a proper conversation.  Really listen closely to what is being said, and perhaps even more to what is NOT being said!  Doing this can completely turn your relationship around, in a really good way!

This doesn't apply just in relationships of course.  From now on try to listen to and understand what people are saying and what they are not saying.

When nations insist on trumpeting their own beliefs and needs, and stop listening entirely to the beliefs and needs of other nations around them, this is often a pre-cursor to war.  We all need to listen more.  To understand the feelings and the needs of those around us.  What we do when we do reach this understanding is up to us.  Maybe it won't change the way we feel and the actions we are going to take, or maybe it will.  But even if there is no change we will at least be acting from a much stronger and much better informed position.

Take a decision right now that you are going to listen much harder, that you are going to try much harder to understand what it is that those around you want.  Again, I should remind you that I am not saying you should necessarily then GIVE them what they want.  But when you have a much better understanding of the feelings, wishes, and needs of everyone around you I can guarantee you will be in a much stronger position.  You will have a much better control of what is happening around you.  Why settle for any less?

Fish or Snake

A boy went to his father and asked him for a snake.  The father was surprised by this request.  Very surprised!  He looked around for a snake that would neither crush (such as a boa constrictor) nor give venomous bites so his son could have what he asked for but still be safe from danger.  This took him some time, as he wanted to be really certain the gift would be safe.  Eventually he found a nice grass snake and proudly gave this to his son.  The boy looked at his father wide-eyed and asked "why have you given me this instead of a fish?  Do you expect me to eat a snake?"

Rather a silly story don't you think?  And if you know your Bible you may recognize it as a twist on Matthew 7:10.  A father will not give his son a snake if he asks for a fish.  But will he give him a snake if the son, intending to ask for a fish, asks instead for a snake?

The reason I have told this silly story, and maybe risked offending some Christians who won't like me changing something Jesus said, is that it illustrates something that is going on all the time.  Something I can pretty much guarantee YOU are doing.  All of us, me included, sometimes have great problems communicating what we really want to communicate.  This is nothing to be ashamed of - it is the human condition.  But it IS something we should recognize.

Recognizing the communication problem we all have is extremely important.  Even if we find it difficult or perhaps even impossible to communicate effectively all the time, we should at least be aware that we are frequently miscommunicating.  If we are aware of this we are much less likely to act the way the son did when he blamed his father for not understanding what he wanted.  We can  step back and recognize that the problem is probably ours rather than someone else's.

At a national level, the difficulty in communicating properly literally causes wars.  At a personal level it causes breakdowns in relationships - resulting in tragic and perhaps completely unneccessary divorces, and the loss of what should have been great and deep friendships.

The difficulty in communicating often starts with a difficulty in even understanding what it is we really want.  A desire begins deep inside.  It is a desire for something good and wholesome.  Something that will make us happy but will also do good in the world, create lasting change for good.  As that desire rises through the different levels of our mind and spirit it becomes tainted.  It changes.  Until it becomes a desire for something completely different once it reaches the upper levels of our conscious mind.  We communicate that often horribly mutated desire, are given a snake instead of a fish, and then wonder why we are unhappy and are not satisfied even though we have achieved and/or acquired what we thought we wanted.

I have said this many times in other blogs, and make no apology for saying it again, as I believe it is one of the major keys to unlocking a fulfilled, successful life.  If you want to be successful the first thing you must do is strip away all the camouflage that has so distorted your deep, inner desires.  Find out what it is you TRULY want rather than what you THINK you want.  Do this by taking some time, every day, to sit quietly and meditate.  Breathe deeply and slowly.  Relax.  Close your eyes.  See in your mind's eye a beautiful garden.  Notice what lovely flowers, beautiful trees, and delicious fruits are growing in the garden.  Let those lovely things speak to you.  If you do this often and properly you will be amazed at the way in which your own inner communication changes.  You will begin to understand much better what you truly want.

Once you know what you really want, you can ask the Universe for it, and can also go out and find it.  As you go looking for it, and doing whatever may be necessary to achieve or acquire your desire, you will find the way towards it is much better prepared and signposted than you expected.  This is the way the Universe gives us what we ask for.  Not by letting us just sit there waiting for it to appear, but by allowing us to see so much more clearly how to get it once we know what it really is.

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"  Matthew 7: 9-11