A boy went to his father and asked him for a snake. The father was surprised by this request. Very surprised! He looked around for a snake that would neither crush (such as a boa constrictor) nor give venomous bites so his son could have what he asked for but still be safe from danger. This took him some time, as he wanted to be really certain the gift would be safe. Eventually he found a nice grass snake and proudly gave this to his son. The boy looked at his father wide-eyed and asked "why have you given me this instead of a fish? Do you expect me to eat a snake?"
Rather a silly story don't you think? And if you know your Bible you may recognize it as a twist on Matthew 7:10. A father will not give his son a snake if he asks for a fish. But will he give him a snake if the son, intending to ask for a fish, asks instead for a snake?
The reason I have told this silly story, and maybe risked offending some Christians who won't like me changing something Jesus said, is that it illustrates something that is going on all the time. Something I can pretty much guarantee YOU are doing. All of us, me included, sometimes have great problems communicating what we really want to communicate. This is nothing to be ashamed of - it is the human condition. But it IS something we should recognize.
Recognizing the communication problem we all have is extremely important. Even if we find it difficult or perhaps even impossible to communicate effectively all the time, we should at least be aware that we are frequently miscommunicating. If we are aware of this we are much less likely to act the way the son did when he blamed his father for not understanding what he wanted. We can step back and recognize that the problem is probably ours rather than someone else's.
At a national level, the difficulty in communicating properly literally causes wars. At a personal level it causes breakdowns in relationships - resulting in tragic and perhaps completely unneccessary divorces, and the loss of what should have been great and deep friendships.
The difficulty in communicating often starts with a difficulty in even understanding what it is we really want. A desire begins deep inside. It is a desire for something good and wholesome. Something that will make us happy but will also do good in the world, create lasting change for good. As that desire rises through the different levels of our mind and spirit it becomes tainted. It changes. Until it becomes a desire for something completely different once it reaches the upper levels of our conscious mind. We communicate that often horribly mutated desire, are given a snake instead of a fish, and then wonder why we are unhappy and are not satisfied even though we have achieved and/or acquired what we thought we wanted.
I have said this many times in other blogs, and make no apology for saying it again, as I believe it is one of the major keys to unlocking a fulfilled, successful life. If you want to be successful the first thing you must do is strip away all the camouflage that has so distorted your deep, inner desires. Find out what it is you TRULY want rather than what you THINK you want. Do this by taking some time, every day, to sit quietly and meditate. Breathe deeply and slowly. Relax. Close your eyes. See in your mind's eye a beautiful garden. Notice what lovely flowers, beautiful trees, and delicious fruits are growing in the garden. Let those lovely things speak to you. If you do this often and properly you will be amazed at the way in which your own inner communication changes. You will begin to understand much better what you truly want.
Once you know what you really want, you can ask the Universe for it, and can also go out and find it. As you go looking for it, and doing whatever may be necessary to achieve or acquire your desire, you will find the way towards it is much better prepared and signposted than you expected. This is the way the Universe gives us what we ask for. Not by letting us just sit there waiting for it to appear, but by allowing us to see so much more clearly how to get it once we know what it really is.
“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" Matthew 7: 9-11
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