Wednesday, 29 April 2015


How confident are you?  Say, on a scale of 1 to 10?

It is important to maintain confidence for a couple of very good reasons.

Firstly, if you lack self confidence this will be very noticeable to those around you.  Perhaps not consciously, but unconsciously they will quickly recognize this state in you.  Some will then use this knowledge to take advantage of you, and that is not a situation you want to be in!  Others will not exploit your weakness, but they may still not wish to be associated with you or with any ideas you are trying to introduce.  Sales people know both of this results all too well.  If they go into a sales situation lacking confidence the other party will either reject them completely or will be able to negotiate a far better deal for themselves than they are really entitled to.  But it is not just in sales situations that you will have these problems.  It will be just as problematic in, for example, personal relationships.

When people around you react in this way it will easily turn into a vicious circle.  You will know you are being rejected.  You will know people are taking advantage of you.  And this will cause you to lose even more self confidence.

Secondly, a lack of confidence will send the wrong message to the universe.  You will find you are using the Law of Attraction not to attract to you what you want and need but instead to take things away from you.  The Law of Attraction is a double edged sword.  It is a very powerful universal force and it can just as easily lead you into misery as it can into joy and fulfilment.

Imagine, for example, that you would like to date a prospective romantic partner.  Now imagine that before you approach this person you start to worry.  You worry that you are not good enough for them, that there are lots of far better people around they would find more suitable than you.  You approach this person with all those worries and concerns in your mind and then you pop the question.  What do you think is most likely to happen?  Almost certainly they will reject you.  They may not even know why they are rejecting you, but they do so anyway simply because they have picked up those negative vibes from you.  When you get that rejection it will confirm your worst feelings.  It will "prove" that you are not good enough, that you don't deserve to be with someone as good as this.  All this means that the next time you try to approach someone you will have even less confidence, and it is even more likely they will reject you.  At the same time you will be sending out a message to the universe that you should not be given the joy of forming a relationship with a lovely person.  Guess what?  The universe will act on this message.

Think of self confidence as a kind of muscle.  In many people it is a vastly under-used muscle.  This means it is very weak.

The answer, of course, is to begin exercising this muscle.  And just as with exercising your body you shouldn't wait until you really need it before you start exercising it.  If you wait until you really need it you are leaving it far too late.  Just as you wouldn't think of entering a marathon and doing no exercise to prepare for it, on the basis that the marathon itself will be enough exercise!

How should you exercise your self confidence?

Set aside some time each day to practice.  Just as many people do with physical exercise.  Use affirmations telling yourself how confident you are, how great you are etc.  Combine this with an exercise I have referred to in a number of other blogs - move your mind up into the Light you feel is above you, the Light of the Universe.  Merge with it, then slowly come back down into your body bringing that Light with you.  Feel the power of the Universe inside you, expanding way beyond your body.  Experience how good that feels!  Then use your affirmations.

Don't worry if the first time you do this it feels a bit strange, and maybe even you feel a bit silly.  That is quite normal.  Don't expect to obtain great results immediately either.  It may take several sessions before you feel it is really having any effect.  Again that is quite normal.  Just as you should not be surprised if you don't feel your muscles are stronger immediately after your first work out for many years.

Keep practising like this every day and you will start to notice the difference.  So will the people around you.  As your self confidence grows you will find people are no longer taking advantage of you.  They are not rejecting you.  You are starting to get good results.  Don't assume that you will always get what you are going after, as it might not be right for you (or for others).  But you will certainly find you are gaining a lot more than you did before.  And the successes you have will make you feel even more confident the next time, making it even more likely you will achieve what you hope for.

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