Wednesday, 9 November 2016


Try this exercise.  In one short sentence, without using your name, write down who you are.

When someone asks who you are, your answer will usually depend on the context.

If, for example, you are stopped by a security guard as you enter a company's offices, you will probably identify yourself in terms of why you believe you have a right to be there.  For example "I am a new employee and I was asked to report to reception".

But if you are asked the same question in no particularly special context, you probably answer with your name.  That is what identifies you.

How did you answer?

As I told you not to use your name you probably used a different label.  Perhaps your job title and the name of your employer - e.g. "I am an accountant working for Grant Thornton".  If you are studying, maybe you wrote down "I am a business student at Harvard University".  

Or maybe you have used a more personal label.  "I am a loving husband and father", or "I am a loving wife and mother".

Whatever label you may have used, that is not the real "you".  It is a mask you hold up to the world.

What IS the real you?

Hidden behind the various labels you use are many thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Your identity may just be a name, job title or a face to those around you, but it encapsulates far more than this to you.

Try answering the question again, but this time don't use any labels.  Dig deep.  Identify the image you have of yourself.  You may need to spend some time doing this, coaxing the image out.

Once you have identified your self-image, see how comfortable you are with it.  Is it a good image?  How does it make you feel?  Is there anything about it you would like to change?

You will probably find some negatives within it.  Re-write your image but replace those negatives with positives.  I suggest you attach a photo of yourself to the page where you have your modified self-image.  That way, you will begin to associate the image you want to have of yourself with your picture.  Eventually your subconscious mind will automatically assume that this new and improved image is the real you.

Someone I know who exudes confidence and has a great ability to inspire others, does a very simple exercise every day.  He stands in front of a mirror and tells himself he is a wonderful, handsome man.  He has always done this from his early teens.  When he started doing it, he didn't really believe it, but because he kept telling himself the same things every day eventually he DID believe it.  More importantly, so does everyone with whom he comes into contact!  His positive self-image is contagious.  What he does every day is quite similar to what I am asking you to do once you have identified what you want your self-image to be.

This may sound simple.  Other than the need to dig deep and make your true self-image emerge, it IS quite simple.  But don't let the simplicity deceive you.  This is an extremely powerful technique.  Use it properly and your self-confidence will improve by leaps and bounds.  You will find yourself behaving in ways you never imagined possible.  A massive return for not a great deal of effort.

Get working on your self-image today and be prepared to see big, positive changes!

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