History Does Not Exist

"If only I could start over!"

Have you ever wished you could have a new start?  Have you ever said to yourself "if I could start over I know I would do far better"?

Most people I ask agree that they have said this to themselves.  Some confirm that they regularly say it.

Take a good look at your life right now, and find something in your life where you wish you could say this.  Perhaps your relationship with your partner?  Your own business?  Your career?

If you could start again, what would you do differently?  How much difference would that make to where you are now?  Would your business be so much more profitable?  Would you have been promoted and now have a much better position with a much bigger salary?  Would you have a much stronger and more meaningful relationship?  Would you be so much happier?

Now I am going to let you in on a secret.  You CAN start again!  What is stopping you?

50 years ago I read a book by the American anthropologist Carlos Castaneda, in which Castaneda outlined the shamanistic training he received from a Yaqui sorceror, Don Juan.  At the time I found this book quite challenging, but also fascinating and eye-opening.  But one statement the sorceror made puzzled me.  He told Castaneda that if he wanted to become a true sorceror he had to erase his history.  In fact, he had to recognize that his history did not exist.

I found this concept troubling.  I imagined forgetting all my friends and family, and felt this was not something I would wish to do.  I imagined wiping out everything I had achieved so far in my life, and realized I was not ready to do this even if it did mean I could never become a sorceror like Don Juan.

But what I didn't realize at the time was that "erasing history" was a very powerful tool I could use in order to achieve better and greater things.  A tool that would allow me to start again in any endeavour or relationship and turn it into something much closer to my dream.

Look again at what you said earlier you would do differently if you could start again.  It may not be possible to do all of it, as your starting point is now different.  But if you look carefully there WILL be some things that you CAN now do differently and that will improve your situation.

Yes, you probably have what we call "baggage".  Some of this you wouldn't want to change.  It may seem to be in the way of one of your life goals, but at the same time it is something you want in your life.  If so, then you certainly don't want to erase it and start again.  Although you should be aware that it IS possible to erase it, no matter how challenging that may seem.

Have you ever read "Pilgrim's Progress" by John Bunyan?  It may have been written 340 years ago, but it has some eternal truths which can help you along your journey through life.  One of those truths is the main underlying concept of the novel - that each of us is carrying a burden which is stopping us achieve what we should be able to achieve.  The hero of the story, Christian, carries this burden for many miles and finds it is weighing him down and making his journey more and more difficult.  But when he reaches the "place of deliverance" the straps, which are holding the burden to his back, break and Christian finds himself completely free of his burden.

Bunyan wrote this as an allegory of the sins that weigh each of us down and which we can cast away when we accept salvation.  I don't want to trivialize something that means so much to committed Christians, but I believe this allegory can apply to far more than what Christians refer to as salvation.  We all carry burdens which stop us achieving what we want to achieve, but never stop to wonder why we continue to carry them.  These burdens are our history.  And what I learned from Carlos Castaneda is that we don't have to keep carrying those burdens unless we want to do so.

Recognize that your history cannot stop you achieving what you wish to achieve unless you allow it to do so.  Know that you CAN start over.  That every day is a new day with enormous potential if only you are prepared to take advantage of that potential.  Whatever it is that you want to do differently, just do it!  At first it may seem strange.  You may find resistance from unexpected quarters.  But keep on going in this new direction and don't allow your history to stand in your way!

If you would like to obtain a copy of "Pilgrim's Progress", just click here.

For an edition in the UK, click here.

To obtain a copy of Carlos Castaneda's first book, click here.

For an edition in the UK, click here.

Putting Down Your Burden

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life."

"Self-evident" you may say, "it goes without saying"!

So why am I saying it?

The reason I feel it necessary to say this, is that whilst everybody knows this as a self-evident truth, almost nobody lives their life the way they would if, internally, they really knew it.

Have you ever read "Pilgrim's Progress" by John Bunyan?  In that book (written in 1678), Christian, the hero of the story, struggles on a long journey with a heavy burden on his back.  A bit like a modern day special forces recruit doing what the Royal Marines call a "yomp" - a long march with a fully loaded 100 pound pack on his or her back.  There is one big difference though.  The special forces need to be able to carry that weight because they will need what is inside the pack.  On an exercise it may just be weighted down to increase the challenge, but the reason for that exercise is the soldier needs to be able to carry heavy supplies in a combat situation.  But Christian didn't need it at all.  I know I am now changing the story a little (apologies to Bunyan!), but he could simply have put that burden down at any point in his journey.  He didn't, and nearly drowned in a swamp as a result.

Are you carrying any burdens?  I know you are, even if you think you are not.  We all are.  Maybe what is called "emotional baggage".  Maybe a belief that we cannot achieve our dreams, because the last time we tried something like that we failed.

We all have the ability and the right to put down our burdens and carry on our journey through life without anything holding us back.

We all have the ability and the right, but for most of us it feels as though something is holding us back and we feel we cannot do it.

Recognize the burden is there and that you do not need to carry it.  You simply have to put it down.  Nothing is stopping you - only your false believe that you cannot release it.

In accounting there is a concept called "zero-base budgeting".  Many organizations (both in business and in public service) base their budgets on whatever was budgeted and spent the previous year.  This may be a way to produce a budget quickly and easily, but it certainly does not produce the best result.  In many cases it prevents that organization from moving forward and achieving what it needs to achieve this year.  More forward-thinking organizations use zero-base budgeting.  Forget what happened last year.  Just look at what you want to achieve this year, work out what it will cost to achieve it, and if it seems to produce the result you want (e.g. it is profitable enough), then budget for those required costs.  Maybe there are costs in that budget you have never had before.  That doesn't matter.  Maybe last year you spent a lot of money on something you are not budgeting for at all this year.  That doesn't matter either.  All that is important is that you are budgeting the true costs of achieving what you need to achieve this year.

Really forward thinking organizations go further than just zero-base budgeting.  They apply the zero-base concept to everything they do, not just to the costs of a project.  They look at what they want to achieve, what resources they have to achieve it, and what they need to do now with those resources to get there.  Never mind if this means they are completely changing the way they do things.

Have you ever heard the story about the housewife who always cut the ends off a piece of meat before she roasted it?  One day her husband asked her why she did this, and her answer was that she had always done it this way.  Her husband was an engineer, and always liked to know exactly why things worked the way they did, so he pressed her on this point and asked why she ever started doing it this way.  Did it improve the quality of the roast?  He asked her to do him a favour and one time roast the joint without cutting off the ends.  His wife did what he said, and they found the roast tasted just as good, but without wasting any of the meat at both ends.  They were now intrigued.  So they visited her mother, who had taught her to cook this way.  They asked the mother why she did this, and her answer way "because I have always done it this way - it is the way my mother taught me to do it!"  So they visited the grandmother and asked her the same question.  And do you know what she said?  "I always cut the ends off the joint as my roasting pan is too small for the whole joint to fit in!"

Never believe you have to do something simply because you have always done it, or you have to do it in a particular way because you have always done it that way.  Things change, and we need to change too rather than stay stuck in a particular rut.  We need to put down the baggage we are carrying and check whether we need everything that is there.  We need to zero-base our lives.

Zero-basing your life and putting down your unnecessary burdens should be quite simple.  And really, it is.  But often a big part of the burden is the belief that it is impossible to put it down.  Believe in yourself.  You really do have the power and the right to start fresh, without that burden.

This is something you should do every day.  Because every day really is the first day of the rest of your life.  You don't have to spend it being miserable, living your life in a way you don't want to live it, doing what others want you to do rather than what YOU want to do.

If you are reading this just after I have written it, resolve to "zero-base" your life from 1st January this coming year.  A new year, and a new start.  But also recognize you can always put down your burdens, and you can always live your life in the way you want to live it from now on, not simply accept that "it has always been this way".

Burdens

Most of us recognize that there are hurdles to cross if we want to obtain anything worthwhile.  Sometimes they are massive hurdles, but if we want it enough we will find a way over them.

What is less well known is the "burdens" each of us carries.  Before you say "I have no burdens" let me say that you would be a pretty unique person if you had none at all.  Well, you ARE unique - we all are.  But there are very few people in the world who have no burdens making it more difficult than it should be to reach their goals.

I first came across the concept of this kind of burden in John Bunyan's "Pilgrim's Progress".  The pilgrim, struggling to reach his goal, is carrying a massive pack on his back.  A bit like a soldier doing a "yomp" - you know the kind of exercise I mean, where some poor guy is struggling across difficult terrain with a bergen on his back containing 40 kilos of probably completely unnecessary equipment.  Sometimes there may even be bricks in the bergen just to increase the weight.  At least the soldier knows he is carrying this and he is doing so for a purpose - particularly to increase his endurance.  In the case of pilgrim, he wanted to get rid of his burden but had no idea how to do so.  He knew he had to get rid of it or he would never reach his goal.

We are all carrying burdens like this.  Unlike Pilgrim, most of us do not even know they are there, but that doesn't make the burden any lighter.

Some of those burdens are doubts.  We are ready to achieve our goal and believe we can do so.  But deep within us is a hidden doubt that we will ever get there.  The "doubt" burden is very heavy.  It is a bit like a new recruit putting 50 kilos in his bergen when he hasn't even practised with 20 kilos.  You must dissolve this burden by affirming daily that you have already achieved your goal, and knowing it is now simply waiting there for you to recognize it.

Other burdens are beliefs that what we are trying to achieve is wrong, or sinful in some way.  Again, this is usually a hidden burden.  As I have indicated in other blogs, you must work on this one by first meditating on your goal.  As you do so, see what feelings arise.  It could be that the inner feeling you had was right.  Perhaps this is not something for you.  But you may also find that those feelings are illogical.  They may have been planted there many years ago, perhaps when you were a child.  In fact there is strong evidence that some of them could have been planted there even further back than that.  When you identify a false belief of this kind I suggest you follow a ritual to get rid of it.  Begin by affirming your goal and associating it with a good feeling.  Then visualize the wrong belief as a chain tying your hands.  But it is really a weak chain.  Feel yourself breaking the chain by moving your hands upwards and outwards.  See the broken links of that chain falling to the ground, and then feel so grateful that this false belief has been destroyed.  Finish your meditation (for that is what it is) with an affirmation again.

I believe there are also other burdens preventing you from reaching your goals.  These burdens are what Franz Bardon called "astral larvae" in his book "Initiation into Hermetics".  You could also think of them as evil spirits.  Personally I do not see them as evil as such, but rather fairly unintelligent entities in the astral realm.  Whether or not you view them as evil spirits or astral entities that are neither good nor evil they are still something you don't want around you.  There are rituals you can use to protect yourself from astral larvae, some of which are largely based on Paul's letter to the Ephesians in chapter 6, verses 10 to 18.  You may also find Dion Fortune's book, "Psychic Self-Defence" helpful.  Alternatively, use exactly the same technique as I have suggested in the previous paragraph.

Work on removing your burdens and you will be surprised how much easier it is to reach your goals.

I have given links above to buy "Pilgrim's Progress", "Psychic Self-Defence" and "Initiation into Hermetics" if you feel any of these could be helpful.  The links are for payment in US dollars.  If you prefer to pay in £ sterling, use this link to "Pilgrim's Progress", this one to "Psychic Self-Defence" and this one to "Initiation into Hermetics".

Forgiveness

Has anyone ever said or done anything unforgiveable to you?  Something so awful you know you can never forgive them?

Probably this strikes a bell with most of my readers.  It would certainly be rare to find someone who has never been mistreated, never misunderstood, never abused in one way or another.  In some cases the abuse may have been particularly nasty.  Something you would much rather forget, but find you cannot.

Does this person deserve your forgiveness?  Probably not.  Should you forgive them?  Absolutely!

Why do I say this?  If they don't deserve your forgiveness, why should you forgive them?  Am I trying to turn you into a saint or something?

No.  I am not saying this to make you a "goody goody".  And I am certainly not suggesting you should allow anyone to take advantage of you.  So why I am saying it?

The reason is that I believe you deserve to be free.  You deserve to be happy.  You deserve to be able to do whatever you wish in life and not be weighed down carrying a load dumped on you by someone else.

If there is anyone you have not forgiven for what they have done or said to you this means you are allowing that person to control your life.  You are giving them the ultimate victory over you.  Is that what you want?  If not, you simply have to find a way to forgive them.

Some of you may now be saying "it's all very well for you to say that, but you don't know how I have suffered!  You cannot understand just how bad this was!"

I agree I cannot know what it is like to suffer in the way you may have suffered.  To use a common Christian saying, we each have our own cross to bear.  The one you are bearing may be far heavier than mine.  But even though I cannot understand just how bad it was for you, what I do understand is that you are now carrying an unnecessary burden.  Just like "Christian" in John Bunyan's "Pilgrim's Progress".  Christian was carrying a burden so heavy he could hardly move.  So are you if there is someone you have not forgiven.  Your happiness is marred because every so often you think of this unforgiveable thing that was done to you and it spoils what would otherwise be a lovely moment in a lovely day.  Why not simply throw that burden away?  It is not stuck to you with superglue.  You have chosen to carry it.  Now you should choose to throw it away.

There may be others who will say "but there is nobody I haven't forgiven!  Nobody has done anything particularly bad to me!"  If so, you are very fortunate!  But I would suggest there are probably some slights, some grievances, some humiliations that your conscious mind has forgotten but are still bubbling away somewhere under the surface.  You do not feel desparately unhappy, but because there are some unforgiven words and actions loitering in your unconsious mind what could be a really happy moment is, instead, just mildly pleasant.  These unforgiven things are stopping you reaching your full potential.  They are controlling you.

Would you like to free yourself of this burden?  Great!

The first thing you must do is find all the actions and words you have not yet forgiven.  Some may be easy to find.  Others will be hiding under the surface.  Sit quietly and let them come to you.

Now, for each unforgiven act or word find the person.  Picture that person in your mind.  Say to them "I forgive you".  At first you will probably feel silly. But don't worry about that.  Nobody is watching you.  Nobody is laughing at you.  This is something you are doing for yourself so you can be happier.

As you do this you will find a part of your mind will tell you that this person does not deserve your forgiveness.  You can immediately dispel that thought by saying "they may not deserve it, but I am forgiving them for me, not for them!"  This other part of your mind may say it was totally wrong of them to do this to you.  Respond by saying "I am not the one who will judge them for it, and I am not asking them or anyone else to do this again to me, I am just letting go so this act no longer controls me.  I forgive!"

If you are a Christian you should remember the phrase in the Lord's Prayer "Forgive me my wrongdoings as I forgive those who have done wrong to me"?  Whether or not you are a Christian this is a phrase I would like you to remember and use.  When you forgive others you will find that forgiveness of yourself comes quite naturally too.  But give it a helping hand anyway.  Add your own wrongdoings now.  See them clearly and then forgive yourself.  As long as you have forgiven others you should find you are now able to forgive yourself.  When you do you really should find you feel light and bouyant.  You have let go of your burden.

Try to perform this act of forgiveness every day.  I suggest you do it last thing at night before you go to sleep, as you should find your sleep will then be that much more refreshing.  Try it, let go, don't allow anyone to control you any more and see just how much difference this makes in your life!