How to Improve Your Wellbeing

In my last blog article I pointed out that feeling alive and full of energy comes from within, not from something outside you.  I hope you read that and took note.

Some readers wanted me to go a bit deeper.  To give some ideas you can take on board to start generating that energy and wellbeing.

There are three aspects of overall wellbeing:

1 How you feel on a daily basis

2 How satisfied you are with the quality of your life

3 How worthwhile you feel your life is

Even small improvements in each of those three areas will combine to give you a very noticeable improvement in your wellbeing.

Feeling Better on a Daily Basis

One way to make yourself feel better on a daily basis is to invest some time every day in physical exercise.

Hard physical exercise releases endorphins, which you can think of as "feel good" hormones.  The word "endorphin" come from the contraction of "endogenous morphine", or "internally created morphine".  So you could think of vigorous exercise as creating a happiness drug.  A drug which is legal and which doesn't get you hooked.

Exercise also creates a protein called "brain-derived neurotrophic factor", which by itself creates a feeling of happiness and wellbeing.  This protein also reduces anxiety and depression, and increases mental abilities.

Daily exercise is therefore a key factor in improving your wellbeing, both directly and indirectly, both in the short term and the long term.

You could join a gym and do daily exercise there, or even better find a physical activity you really enjoy and spend some time regularly practising that activity.  Maybe you will enjoy running, cycling, swimming, or even dancing.  Ideally a combination of these, as the kind of exercise in each activity is a little different and will benefit you in different ways.

Another obvious way to feel better on a daily basis is to avoid stress as much as possible.  Stress tends to be caused when you are put in a situation where you are unable to achieve whatever it is you are expected to achieve.  By all means set yourself ambitious targets, but don't allow anyone to put you in a position where you simply cannot achieve what is expected.

Finally, make sure you regularly reward yourself.  This is dual purpose.  By rewarding yourself for achieving something, you will reinforce your ability to achieve it.  For example, you should reward yourself for exercising.  But also, the reward itself should give you pleasure, and that regular extra pleasure of itself increases your wellbeing.

The Quality of Your Life

There are two clear ways to increase your wellbeing by increasing how satisfied you are with the quality of your life.

One way, obviously, is to keep improving that quality.  Conduct a full audit of your lifestyle.  If you do this properly you will find lots of areas where you can make small changes that will make quite big improvements in the quality of your life.  Make those changes one by one and feel your wellbeing and happiness improve as you do so.  Look, too, for the much greater changes that can be made.  Don't try to make those changes all at once, but identify longer term targets for improvement, and try to ensure the small steps you take each day, week, month and year move you towards the greater changes you desire rather than further away from them.

Another way is to lower the threshold of satisfaction.  Congratulate yourself and feel happy with even the very small improvements you make.  I don't mean you should not strive for big improvements.  Of course you should want to make those big improvements.  But learn to feel a sense of achievement for even very small improvements that others may not even notice.

A Worthwhile Life

Make sure you have chosen a really worthwhile purpose for your life.  In fact, not just one purpose, but many.  Find ways you can contribute to the wellbeing of the people around you - your family and your local community.  It may be that you will become more involved in volunteering and in charitable work.  The more you are involved in such activities the more worthwhile your life will appear to you.

But also you should find a target to which you can aim in your life which of itself is something that feels extremely worthwhile to you.  This could be something very ambitious that you may never reach, but that simply moving towards it is worthwhile.  Note down that end objective, then think about the different steps you could take to move towards it.  Then break those steps down into smaller steps.  Keep breaking the steps down so that you end up with steps that you can very easily achieve.  Then, as you make each step, congratulate yourself for getting closer to that great end target.  Reward yourself for getting closer (remember the importance of rewarding yourself)!

Summary

Turning your life into one filled with energy, happiness and wellbeing is not difficult.  Take small steps, working on feeling better on a daily basis, increasing your satisfaction with the quality of your life, and turning your journey through life into a more worthwhile journey.  Do this, and I can guarantee you will be have a very much happier and more fulfilled life - happier and more fulfilled than you probably ever dreamed possible!

PS

If you are suffering from stress you really need to seek professional help rather than just assuming it will go away.  Otherwise it may seem to go away but instead be hiding under the surface ready to explode when you least expect it.  Take a look at this site for further help and advice:

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/stress/

Love Yourself

Do you love yourself?  If not, why not?  If yes, how do you express that love?

You have probably heard the expression "charity begins at home".  Unfortunately it is frequently used just as an excuse to ignore help that people further from home really need.  But in essence it is true.  In the King James Bible, the word "charity" is an interpretation of the Greek word "agape", and it really means unselfish love.  A love that just keeps giving without needing anything in return.  Compassion.  It certainly does not mean paying some money to a worthy concern and then considering you have done your duty and do not need to be compassionate.

So let's rephrase.  "Love begins at home".  In fact, love begins with loving yourself.  If you do not love yourself you will find it very difficult to love others.  Conversely, if you truly love yourself you will find you begin to create room to love others, beginning with those around you and expanding to the point where you love the entire universe.

I am not talking here about narcissism.  I am talking about true love as contained in the word "agape".  A love that is committed to the well-being of its object.  If you are interested at all in personal development, this is the starting point.  You have to be committed to your own true well-being.  This really encompasses everything.  You will not abuse your body or your mind or your spirit, because you love them and wish them to be developed in the best possible way.  The mormons in particular talk about recognizing your body as a temple, as do most other Christians.  Treat it with respect.  Look after it.  Love it.  Do this and it will serve you well.  The same goes for your mind and your spirit.  Develop it.  Cherish it.

When you love someone you probably give them treats.  If you are married, can you remember what you did when you first went out with your spouse?  Did you give unexpected gifts?  Not just on birthdays and anniversaries and at Christmas, but at unexpected times?  Remember the pleasure that gave you as well as the pleasure it gave your spouse?  Do the same to yourself.  Give yourself treats.  Not all the time of course.  I am not encouraging you to be self-indulgent.  But get into the habit of treating yourself every so often.

You also need to spend time alone with the one you love rather than only ever being with them in a crowd.  Do the same for yourself.  Have "me" time.  I suggest you do this every day for at least a few minutes, and for much longer at least once a week.  Even an occasional full day of "me" time.  What do I mean by "me" time?  I cannot really answer that, as it will depend entirely on you.  It means different things to different people.  If you don't know the answer then that means you are certainly not spending enough time on yourself and must learn to love yourself more.

As you learn to love yourself more, and practise doing what you have learned, you will begin to see how you should love others more.  And so your self love will begin to blossom as love for others.

I suggest you incorporate both self love and love for others in a daily meditation practice.  Begin by feeling every bit of your body and start to feel love for it.  Feel a sphere extending from your centre and encompassing your whole body.  Then, as you become comfortable with this, expand this sphere so it includes your whole house and everything and everyone within it.  Keep centred and expand that sphere again.  Now it includes all your friends and relatives.  Expand it again to include all those you work with and those you have fleeting contact with.  Keep expanding, so it now includes people you have never met, people all over the world.  Feel deep compassion for them.  Then expand again so it includes not just all the people in the world but also the world itself and everything within it.  Now recognize that you are star dust (yes, you really are!) - so expand your love to include the whole universe of stars and of everything that has come from those stars.

Love is a two way street, even if sometimes it does not seem to be.  Yes, there will be times when your unconditional love is not returned to you by the object of your love, but it will still be returned to you from somewhere.  As you start loving yourself and then expanding outwards until that love encompasses the entire universe, so the universe will return that love to you.  This will happen gradually and not necessarily in very obvious ways, but happen it will.

So, beginning today, practice self love, expand it, and love the entire universe.  I think you will be surprised by what will start to happen in your life when you do this!

Generosity

How generous are you?

When I ask that question, what thoughts pop into your mind?  It is important for you to analyze this, as for many people the question exposes the main reason their attempts at using the Law of Attraction fail.

Typically, I find this question generates a negative feeling.  Even an annoyance that the question was asked.  If that is you, then dig deep and find out why you reacted that way.  Usually it is a sign that deep down you don't believe the universe is able to provide you with what you need.  You believe there is a limited supply of money or time and that therefore you cannot afford to give it away to anyone.  You have to hold tightly onto it to stop it flying away.  Such beliefs form an impenetrable barrier to the proper use of the Law of Attraction.  You are focussed on the fact that the universe cannot supply you with what you need, so guess what?  The universe won't supply it.  This is not a failure of the Law of Attraction but rather an example of the Law operating exactly in the way it should.  But it is certainly not the proper use of the Law of Attraction.  As for holding it tightly to stop it flying away, well that means you are focussed on it flying away.  Which it will.  At your command!

Or you may simply have answered the question by saying "no!" and then justifying the answer to yourself.  No annoyance at the question, but the same end result.  Exactly the same!

If this sounds like you, clearly you have some work to do so that you can use the Law of Attraction properly.  Recognizing the problem is the first step, and it is a big step.  Next you have to change your attitude, your thought processes.

My suggestion is that you begin simply by becoming more generous.  Even if you still feel some of the negative feelings when you try to be generous.  Recognize they are there, and analyze them later - bringing them out into the light can often destroy them as they are creatures of darkness.  But at the time, just continue offering that generosity regardless of the effect it has on you.  Over a period of time you will find the combination of acting generously and exposing unworthy thoughts and emotions to the light will change you for the good.

Once you acquire the habit of being generous you will find generosity being returned to you at least tenfold!  Not immediately, and probably not from the people to whom you have been generous.  But without a doubt you will find this happens.  Successful practitioners give generously with joy, knowing that not only are they helping the person receiving their generosity but also that they are banking a considerable investment in the universe which will be returned to them with a very high interest!

For those of my readers who are Christian or Jewish, there are several Old Testament verses that illustrate the point I am making.  To me, one of the most powerful is Proverbs 19:17 (which I have to admit I had forgotten before I wrote this article) :

"Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward them for what they have done."

There is also the well-known quote from Ecclesiastes 11:1:

"Cast thy bread upon the waters, for you shall find it after many days."

In other words, be generous and kind to others, and at some point in the future you will find someone does the same to you.  Again, notice it is unlikely to be the same person.  Most Bible commentators interpret this verse as meaning you must do good without expecting any reward.  This is true, when you look at it in the narrow context of the relationship between you and the person you are helping, or in a limited time span between your good action and the reward you will receive.  But have no doubt - in the long term the universe will most certainly reward you.

I have quoted the Bible here, which will only have meaning for my Christian and Jewish readers, and I recognize many of my readers are neither Christian nor Jewish.  But I believe it would be difficult to find a religion that does not give the same message one way or another.  My Muslim readers will agree that generosity is so important in their religion that "Zakaat", or obligatory charity, is one of the five pillars of Islam.  There are countless quotes I could give, but here I give just one from the Quran (2:272):

"And whatever you spend of good - it will be repaid to you, and you will not be wronged"

Hindus and Buddhists believe in Karma, which is the same concept.  Sikhs do not believe in Karma as such, but the operation of Hukam.  The end result, though, is the same, and the Sri Guru Granth Sahib says:

"Whatever you plant you shall harvest."

Note well that generosity is not limited to giving money.  I have already mentioned generosity of time.  Generosity of spirit will encompass money, time, good deeds.  It is extending to others what we would want for ourselves.  The golden rule personified.  It is incumbent on us all to develop a generosity of spirit that will encompass far more than simply gifts of money.

Finally, let me ask the question again, but with one addition:

How generous are you to yourself?

Do not be stingy with yourself, as if you are this will then spread to the way you behave towards others.  Spend time on yourself - what we often call "me" time.  Reward yourself with treats.  Be generous with yourself.  The more you do this the easier you will find it is to be generous to others.

Generosity to both yourself and others shows your rejection of the concept that money, time, good deeds etc are limited.  They are limitless, and the sooner you recognize this through developing a natural generosity, the sooner you will find the Law of Attraction is freed to bring you what you really desire.

Gratitude

Do you start and finish each day expressing gratitude?

If not, why not?  Do you feel you have nothing for which you should be thankful?  I can assure you that cannot be true.  For a start, you are reading this, so you must be alive!  Not only alive, but also in possession of at least one of your five bodily senses - one which Helen Keller never had, but Helen was thankful for what the Universe gave her!

Perhaps you ARE thankful but do not feel the need to express this.  That is a BIG mistake.  You need to express it not because there is a jealous God out there who will punish you if you don't give Him His due (personally I believe in God, but I do not attribute to Him petty human emotions like that).  You need to express it so that you really internalize how much you have for which you should be grateful.  The more you do this, the more positive you will become.  And the more positive you are, the better the life you will have.

This applies both to saying "thank you" to the Universe (or God, depending on your religious views) and also to the people around you who have contributed to your happiness.  By saying "thank you" to other people you will not only feel really positive yourself, but you will be spreading that positive feeling to others.  A win-win situation!

If you are really grateful, then you should also look for ways to "give back" to God, or the Universe.  There are so many ways you can do this.  Any limitations you see are just in your mind.

Stuck for ideas?  Let me give you a couple of ways I have expressed my gratitude recently.  Both happen to relate to charities, but neither involve much (or even any) digging into your pocket.  You can copy these ideas, contribute to the charities, or simply use theme as stepping stones to find unique ideas yourself.  Do whatever you wish with them - just do something.

Last Sunday I committed myself to running a half marathon in aid of a charity called the Himalayan Peoples Project - Nepal.  This charity is a small but very dedicated charity which is trying to improve the lives of poor and disabled people in Nepal.  You can find out more about it at www.hppnepal.co.uk.  I have never run or walked anywhere near that far, but I was determined to complete the half marathon.  As I got within a few miles of the finish line I felt as if my legs were about to fall off.  Quite literally - I actually wondered briefly whether they were suddenly going to disclocate!  But I kept going.  Why?  Because I am grateful for my health.  I have had cancer, and still suffer some permanent after effects of the treatment, but I am far healthier than many of the people the charity wants to help.  I am grateful for that, and wanted to do something to help them.  Notice I didn't actually have to dig my hand into my pocket - my gratitude was expressed in another way.

You can see the view I had of the finish line here, just approaching Windsor Castle a few miles away in the distance.  Put yourself in my place.  How does that make you feel?

How do I feel now?  Great!  I am fitter as a result.  At the top of this article you can see me just after I got my medal that proved to me I did it!

I also feel more positive.  And I know I can send a lot of money to the charity thanks to the people who sponsored me.

How do those sponsors feel?  They feel great too, knowing the good that will now be done with their money.  Another win-win situation!

Then, a couple of days later I did something to help another very small charity.  The Chreda Foundation, which helps young people with their spiritual development, in the widest possible sense.  What did I do?  Help launch a challenge which the Foundation hopes may go viral just like the Bucket Challenge did - but one which is more environmentally friendly.  Everyone who participates in the Dragon Challenge donates a small sum (the Foundation asks for just $10, or £5) and then performs musically on the internet.  It doesn't have to be star quality - check mine out and you will realize that!  All that is important is that you give it a go.

You can see my attempt here:

Was it fun doing it?  Yes it was.  Did it help me at all?  Yes - it made me put some time into learning to play a keyboard properly, which is something I had been meaning to do but never actually got around to doing.

And again I feel more positive.  A little bit of money has gone to the charity, but if the people I have included in the challenge do it, then more will go.  And if the people they challenge do so as well, then even more will go.  Perhaps even you will give it a go, and become an honorary Dragon, after reading this and watching my attempt.

These are just a couple of examples.  Nothing really big.  But a way of giving back to the Universe (or God).

I am doing my bit, and I will stay grateful and keep finding more ways to express my gratitude.

How about you?