Saint Valentine

If you are reading this blog article on the day it was published, in many parts of the world today is Valentine's Day.  A day that celebrates romantic love.

The story behind St Valentine is shrouded in the mists of time.  There is even uncertainty about who this man was, with at least three different possible candidates.  But many believe he was a Roman Priest, cruelly executed in 269 AD by the emperor Claudius.  Those who believe this tell the following story about his "crime" and its link to romantic love.

Emperor Claudius issued an edict forbidding young people from marrying.  Why did he issue this edict?  Because he wanted all young people to be available to serve in his army, and he believed soldiers who were married and experienced true romantic love were much less likely to kill.  St Valentine believed that romantic love was a God-given emotion and that it was wrong to forbid young people to marry.  So he conducted weddings secretly, despite the edict expressly prohibiting this.  He was arrested for this "crime", and beaten, then stoned, and finally beheaded.  Before he died, he sent a note to the young lady he loved, the daughter of his jailor Asterius, and signed it "from your Valentine".

This is not the only story behind Valentine's Day, but to me it is the most powerful.  Is it true?  I really don't know, and nor does anyone else.  As I say, the story is lost in the mists of time and we can never be wholly certain which bits of it are true.  But it doesn't really matter.  Historical truth is important if you are trying to piece together exactly what happened and when, but the power of myths and legends does not rely on historical truth.  Their power is vested in the way they influence our beliefs and actions.

I truly believe that love reduces the capacity for violence.  Sometimes propaganda can distort our love for friends and family and make us believe that it is necessary to fight in a war in order to protect them.  But I believe, as did Claudius, that the overall effect of true love is to make it far more difficult for anyone to twist the way you think and feel and make you do anything designed to cause suffering.

Do you love anyone?  I really hope you do!  In fact, I hope you love everyone.  If you do, and you allow this love to influence you and determine the way you think and behave, this will have a very positive effect on you and on all around you.  This applies not only to romantic love, which is emphasized in the story of St Valentine, but also to a broader and more general love.

The Most Powerful Force in the Universe

What is the most powerful force in the Universe?

Is it gravity?  Certainly gravity is a powerful force.  It takes a lot of power to overcome it.  Gravity is what keeps our sun in one piece, rather than allowing it to fall apart.  It is what keeps us orbiting the sun rather than flying off into outer space.  Be very thankful for gravity.  None of us would be alive without it.  But gravity is not the most powerful force by any means!

How about the "weak force".  It doesn't sound a very promising candidate.  But the name is a bit of a misnomer, as it is actually ten trillion times more powerful than gravity!  Wow!  That is what I would call a strong force, not a weak force!  The weak force is responsible for nuclear decay and nuclear fission.  The power that was unleashed on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  But the weak force is not the most powerful force in the universe (as you probably gathered from the name).

Electromagnetism is far more powerful than the weak force.  It is a hundred billion times more powerful than the weak force.  Electromagnetism is what stops you simply falling through the earth.  So is it the most powerful force in the universe?

No, it is not.  According to physicists, the "strong nuclear force" is the most powerful force.  The strong nuclear force is what keeps atoms from disintegrating.  Nothing physical could exist without the strong nuclear force.

But the physicists are wrong when they say any physical force such as gravity, weak force, electromagnetism, or the strong nuclear force is the most powerful in the universe.  None of these, in my view, deserves the title.

Without doubt, the most powerful force in the universe is Love.

Sometimes Love crystallizes as a physical force.  Nowhere near as strong as any of the above forces in its physical guise, but still very strong.  On Good Friday in 1982, in Lawrenceville, Georgia, Angela Cavallo lifted a 1964 Chevy Impala (weighing about 3,500 pounds, or 1,600 kilos).  Why?  Because it had fallen on her son, Anthony, and she wanted to stop it crushing him.  She held it for around 5 minutes until help appeared and her son was pulled out, fortunately still alive.  Could you, under normal circumstances, lift 3,500 kilos and hold it for 5 minutes?  I doubt it, unless you have trained for a long time as a weight lifter - which Angela Cavallo had certainly not done.  The reason Angela could is that she was powered by love.

Again, I stress that physical force was nowhere near as strong as the four physical forces I have listed.  The real power of Love is not physical, but spiritual and emotional.

Do you want to possess the most powerful force in the universe?  Then work on developing and expanding your Love.  Love for your spouse or partner.  Love for your family and friends.  Love for all around you - even for those you do not like.  Love for all humanity.  And perhaps most importantly, Love for yourself.

The more Love you have, the more you will achieve for yourself and for others.

Love Yourself

Do you love yourself?  If not, why not?  If yes, how do you express that love?

You have probably heard the expression "charity begins at home".  Unfortunately it is frequently used just as an excuse to ignore help that people further from home really need.  But in essence it is true.  In the King James Bible, the word "charity" is an interpretation of the Greek word "agape", and it really means unselfish love.  A love that just keeps giving without needing anything in return.  Compassion.  It certainly does not mean paying some money to a worthy concern and then considering you have done your duty and do not need to be compassionate.

So let's rephrase.  "Love begins at home".  In fact, love begins with loving yourself.  If you do not love yourself you will find it very difficult to love others.  Conversely, if you truly love yourself you will find you begin to create room to love others, beginning with those around you and expanding to the point where you love the entire universe.

I am not talking here about narcissism.  I am talking about true love as contained in the word "agape".  A love that is committed to the well-being of its object.  If you are interested at all in personal development, this is the starting point.  You have to be committed to your own true well-being.  This really encompasses everything.  You will not abuse your body or your mind or your spirit, because you love them and wish them to be developed in the best possible way.  The mormons in particular talk about recognizing your body as a temple, as do most other Christians.  Treat it with respect.  Look after it.  Love it.  Do this and it will serve you well.  The same goes for your mind and your spirit.  Develop it.  Cherish it.

When you love someone you probably give them treats.  If you are married, can you remember what you did when you first went out with your spouse?  Did you give unexpected gifts?  Not just on birthdays and anniversaries and at Christmas, but at unexpected times?  Remember the pleasure that gave you as well as the pleasure it gave your spouse?  Do the same to yourself.  Give yourself treats.  Not all the time of course.  I am not encouraging you to be self-indulgent.  But get into the habit of treating yourself every so often.

You also need to spend time alone with the one you love rather than only ever being with them in a crowd.  Do the same for yourself.  Have "me" time.  I suggest you do this every day for at least a few minutes, and for much longer at least once a week.  Even an occasional full day of "me" time.  What do I mean by "me" time?  I cannot really answer that, as it will depend entirely on you.  It means different things to different people.  If you don't know the answer then that means you are certainly not spending enough time on yourself and must learn to love yourself more.

As you learn to love yourself more, and practise doing what you have learned, you will begin to see how you should love others more.  And so your self love will begin to blossom as love for others.

I suggest you incorporate both self love and love for others in a daily meditation practice.  Begin by feeling every bit of your body and start to feel love for it.  Feel a sphere extending from your centre and encompassing your whole body.  Then, as you become comfortable with this, expand this sphere so it includes your whole house and everything and everyone within it.  Keep centred and expand that sphere again.  Now it includes all your friends and relatives.  Expand it again to include all those you work with and those you have fleeting contact with.  Keep expanding, so it now includes people you have never met, people all over the world.  Feel deep compassion for them.  Then expand again so it includes not just all the people in the world but also the world itself and everything within it.  Now recognize that you are star dust (yes, you really are!) - so expand your love to include the whole universe of stars and of everything that has come from those stars.

Love is a two way street, even if sometimes it does not seem to be.  Yes, there will be times when your unconditional love is not returned to you by the object of your love, but it will still be returned to you from somewhere.  As you start loving yourself and then expanding outwards until that love encompasses the entire universe, so the universe will return that love to you.  This will happen gradually and not necessarily in very obvious ways, but happen it will.

So, beginning today, practice self love, expand it, and love the entire universe.  I think you will be surprised by what will start to happen in your life when you do this!

Abundance Thinking and Limitation

What does the word "abundance" mean to you?

For far too many people it means something that doesn't exist.  They believe in limitation rather than abundance.  They believe there is a limited supply of everything and that we must either compete and even fight with others to gain whatever it is we want, or we must accept that because there is a limited supply we must limit ourselves, not try to get everything we want, and that if we do anything different we are greedy.

For many things that we want it is simply illogical to believe in any limitation.  Take happiness, for example.  Is there a limited supply of happiness in the universe?  Really?  Why on earth should there be?  There are no limits to happiness.  Yes, things can happen which impact on our happiness, although there are always ways of controlling that impact.  But there is certainly not a limited supply of happiness, and it would be entirely illogical to believe there was.  Yet so many people behave in a way that shows they subconsciously believe there is a limited supply.  They don't believe it is right to want to be happy when so many people in the world are sad.  Why?  If you choose to be sad too does that reduce the sadness of people around you?  No, of course not!  In fact, just the opposite.  Happiness can be contagious, so by developing and nurturing happiness in yourself you can also spread happiness in the world.  Isn't that a good thing to do?  There are no limits to happiness.  There is an abundance of happiness in the world.

Or how about love?  Is that limited?  Of course not!  If you are looking for love, then don't go around believing it is limited.  Are you looking for your life partner, for someone who will love you without limit and whom you can love without limit?  But have you started to believe that perhaps there is no such person?  Or were you looking for a group of friends you can really love without limits and who will really love you without limits, and then gave up at some point because you felt this would never materialize?  There are no limits to love.  There is an abundance of love in the world.  Open your heart to it and allow that abundance to manifest within your life.

On a more practical level, many people today are concerned about limited resources in the world.  There are limited amounts of raw materials.  There are limits on the amount of energy we can produce without depleting resources for future generations and destroying mother earth.  At least there is more logic in this thinking.  It is true we have over exploited many of the earth's resources and continue to do so.  It is good to look at your carbon footprint and try to find ways to reduce it so you are causing less damage to the world in which you live.  But ultimately, in the future, is there a true limit here or is there a hidden abundance for which we simply have to find the key?  I believe it is the latter.  So does eminent scientist Peter Diamond, a medically qualified space scientist and engineer who graduated from both MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) and Harvard Medical School, and who co-founded the International Space University and the Singularity University.  Peter Diamond believes in abundance even in the area of energy and resources.  He believes mankind has the ability to find ways around the limitations we see today and create an abundant future.  Check out his books "Abundance: The Future Is Better Than You Think", and only just published on 23rd February 2016 "BOLD: How to Go Big, Create Wealth, and Impact the World".  In the universe there is an abundance of energy and resources.  We just have to find ways to unlock that abundance.

Another practical area where far too many people believe in limitation is that of money.  Again, the prevailing belief, which is completely wrong, is that there is a limited supply of money, and that it is evil to want lots of money as you will then be depriving others of the money they need.  This is nonsense!  If you really want to become wealthy the best way of doing so is not to take wealth that belongs to others but to help others achieve what they want to achieve.  Doing this is the best way of becoming really wealthy, and it is also very ethical.  You are not taking wealth away from others but becoming wealthy by helping others.  Zig Ziglar said "You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want."  He was not just talking about wealth here, but certainly this applies very much to wealth.  There is no limitation to wealth.  Wealth is abundant.

Whatever it is you want, recognize it is here in the universe in abundance.  There are no limits.  Only the limits you have created in your own mind.  Break the shackles of those blocks you have created and claim the abundance that is waiting there for you.  Claim it, and at the same time share that abundance with others.  Your own life will be far better and so will the lives of your family, friends, and others around you.

Love

Love is the most important force in the universe.  When you project love you attract whatever and whoever it is that you love.  The greater the love the stronger the attraction.

Whatever it is you want to achieve in life, therefore, it is so important to develop love.  A genuine and deep love.

"Love what?" you may ask.  A good question.  My answer is you should love everything.

Some may disagree with this statement and say you should only love the positives in life and not the negatives.  How can you love evil for example?  I don't disagree with that, but in my view the negatives do not really exist.  They are simply the absence of the positives.  Not everyone will agree with my take on this and I don't intend to push it here - so simply accept that, yes, I am saying love everything positive.

You should start by loving yourself.  This is something many people find very difficult.  The more difficult you find it, though, the more important it is to love yourself.  Lack of love for yourself results in a lack of self-esteem, a lack of belief in yourself, an inability to move forwards and achieve what you want to achieve.  It will also make it far more difficult, if not impossible, to love anyone and anything else.

Love your whole self.

Love your body, with all its imperfections.  If you see something in your body that you do not like, and if it is something you can and should change, then change it.  But if it cannot be changed then love it how it is.  A number of religious denominations refer to the body as the temple of God.  Whether you refer to "God", "the Self", "the Universe" or something similar, this is very true.  Your body is where this Spirit is living at the moment, so love it and treat it well.

Love your mind.  Don't worry if you don't have an IQ of 140 or more.  That doesn't matter.  This is your mind, unique to you, and it deserves to be loved.

Love your spirit.  That spark within you that leads you along a certain path.  A path that eventually you can see was exactly the right path for you.  Love this spirit and thank it for all it has contributed to your life.

Really get into the habit of loving yourself until it becomes a natural, seamless habit.

Extend that love to everyone around you.  Starting with your family, but extending outwards.  Everyone deserves your love, so give it to them.  Even those you may feel do NOT deserve it.  You cannot judge them.  Just love them.

You will start to see some amazing results quite quickly.  Not necessarily from everyone, but certainly from some.  People can sense when you really love them and they will begin to respond in kind.  Your love will get reflected back - sometimes from directions you least expect.  Sometimes from someone you thought was a miserable unloving person.

Go further than this.  Love the things you want to attract into your life.  Don't focus on the absence of those things, simply love them.

At this point I am going to be quite controversial.  Love money.  I can already hear the growls of those who believe it is wrong to love money.  After all, 1 Timothy 6:10 says "For the love of money is the root of all evil".  Ecclesiastes 5:10 says "If you love money and wealth you will never be satisfied with what you have".  But neither author really meant you should not love money in the way I intend.  You are simply extending a natural love and including money within it.  I am not talking about developing avarice and greed, but rather pure love.  Don't be like so many people who don't have money and then start developing a hatred of money because they do not have it.  You should love money and attract it to you, but then make sure you use it in a positive way.  Money itself is neutral, not evil.  Love it so you can use it to help others.  There is a story about Rabbi Avraham Yehoshua Heshel which I think brings a little clarity to this rather difficult subject.  This Rabbi said that he looked on money kindly before gifting it to the poor - in this way he valued the gift he was making as a way of expressing the love of God.

I hope I have opened your eyes and made you think about love differently.  Develop love and cherish it above all things.

Be and Do What You Love!

I want you to take a few moments right now to daydream.  If you don't have the time right now, please don't read ahead but instead book some time in your diary when you will do this.  At least 5 or 10 minutes, or maybe a little more, when you know you will be uninterrupted and will not start worrying about something else you need to get ready to do.

Ok, are you ready?  Then let's begin.

What do you love doing the most?  Think carefully about this.  Don't just give a throwaway answer.  Don't give an answer you think someone else might want to hear.  You are safe!  Nobody else is listening.  Not your mother or father, not your spouse, not your priest, not your teacher or coach.  Nobody but you.  So be very honest here.  What do you really love doing?  Focus on it now.  Imagine you are doing it right now.  How does it make you feel?  Hold that feeling.

A different question.  If you could be anyone in the world, who would that be?  What is it about them that you would really love to have as a part of you?  Now expand on this.  Imagine you could create a completely new character by taking the very best from other role models.  Maybe people around you.  Maybe people you have read about or seen on TV or in films.  By "the very best", again I don't mean what you think you should regard as the best.  I mean aspects of that person you would really love if those aspects were a part of you.  Of your personality.  Of your mind.  Of your body.  And of your spirit.  Focus on this newly created being right now.  Imagine YOU are this lovely person.  How do you feel now?

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?  Why?  What is it that you really love about the idea of living there?  This doesn't have to be somewhere you have been.  It could be simply the kind of place you have imagined, whether or not it is a real place.  What is around you right now as you slip into this lovely place?  Try to visualize everything that is there, all the things that make it perfect for you, that make you so love being there.  Let the feeling of being there fill you with energy and fill you with love.

How about your perfect relationship?  How does that feel?  It may be your relationship with your current partner, but something about it has changed so that the love between you is magnified many times over.  Or perhaps it is a relationship with someone you have not yet met.  Let the love in that relationship fill your being.

Ok, you have finished your daydream.  For the moment.  But what I am now going to suggest is that this is a serious exercise, and not simply a daydream, which you should repeat often.  Do it when you wake in the morning.  Do it when you slip into bed at night.  Do it at odd moments during the day.  Why?  Because what you are doing is creating your dream reality.  A reality which you really can manifest and turn into a dream life that has come true for you.

What you have just learned how to do is perhaps the most difficult step of all in learning to manifest, in putting into action the Law of Attraction.  Everything you want to achieve, you really can achieve - but first you have to want it so much it becomes a burning desire.  You have to really love everything about what it is you are trying to achieve.  Do this and your dreams really can come true!

If you want to learn how to take this to the next stage, listen to this "Dream Builder" webinar:

http://lifemasteryinstitute.com/go/aff.php?p=arcoh&w=DBPWEBINAR

How to Listen With Your Heart

by

Flo Li

"The first duty of love is to listen." -- Paul Tillich

Love is tricky. Without communication, love is not sustainable. A huge part of communication is the ability, willingness and the act of listening. How you truly listen to your partner determines the depth of your conversation and the meaningfulness of your communication. There are two major ways to listen -- one is with your head, another is with your heart.

Listening with your head requires little concentration, awareness, or compassion. It is a mechanical process that most of us have mastered quite nicely. You simply listen to the words been spoken, pay little attention to tonality or body language, but you do pay a lot of attention to your internal dialogue that formulates what you will say next. The conversation becomes a ping pong game with great technicality but lacks soul.

Listening with your heart requires more focus, sympathy, and love. It is an artistic process that only the gifted few have charismatically obtained. Throughout history, the best leaders are those who truly sympathized with their troops. The most effective executives are the ones who understood their employees at a deeper level. The most intimate love relationships are the union formed between individuals who practiced heart centered listening.

Luckily for us, listening with your heart is a trained process. It simply takes practice to become more compassionate, charismatic, and loving. There are several steps you can follow to fine tune the art of listening with your heart.

1. Be glad. Start the conversation with the willingness to connect and appreciate the opportunity to connect.
2. Set your agenda aside when it is your time to listen. Your objective is to listen and to listen only. Clear your mind of what your agenda is and what you would like to gain from the conversation.
3. Listen to the words, sense the tonality behind the words, and watch the body language without a single ounce of judgment. Remember, there is no right or wrong in what might appear in front of you yet your own interpretation can make anything seem right or wrong.
4. Listen to the underlying message underneath the words by staying open. Your unconscious mind is able to pick up inferential statements which can often get clouded by the judgment of the conscious logical mind.
5. During a pause, do not jump in but take time to open your heart. By opening your heart, you are automatically connected to the other person while sympathy, love, and compassion are also expressed naturally.
6. Ask for clarification. If you do not understand something, ask for more explanation. Do not accuse of the other person for not being clear. It takes two to communication, so please take responsibility for yourself.
7. Most importantly, listen slowly. Listening with your heart requires your mind to slow down or stop in order to truly listen to another. It requires you to be more in your body and less in your head.

Practice listening with your heart as a healthy way of being. It will improve all of your relationships in a miraculous way. Remember, "the first duty of love is to listen."

About the author:

Flo Li http://floli.com/

During a physical death experience she touched the face of the infinite divine and gained spiritual freedom...Flo Li has a masters in Bioengineering and an MBA in entrepreneurship. Born a skeptic with a keen sense of scientific mind, she found herself waking up to the undeniable truth of Divine Love and Ancient Wisdom. A passionate speaker, she shares her crossing over experience and lessons learned through public talks and profound writing.

Ways to Power Up Love

8 potions to power up love and reduce stress!

by

Vanda North

It is the month of Love, so Mind Chi has researched 8 useful and practical love potions.

Love does wonderful things for your state of mind and it also offers natural stress relief. In healthy relationships, the power of love is strong enough to keep your heart happy and your mind and body healthy.

 

Loving potion 1: How Love Helps

Sharing in life’s joys and challenges is one of the great benefits of being in a relationship.  ”When you are in a loving marriage or a good relationship, you have somebody there to share your worries, to talk through problems and to enjoy free time with,” says Sally R. Connolly, a social worker and therapist with the Couples Clinic of Louisville in Louisville, Ky. Relationships can provide stress relief by simply not leaving you to shoulder every burden completely on your own, Connelly explains.  You also have someone “to visualize the future with. Somebody who is there for you and witnesses your life,” adds Connolly. A number of studies have found that people in healthy marriages live longer and have fewer health problems than people who are unhappily married or not in a relationship, according to Connolly. Such is the power of love. What’s more, people who are happily married not only benefit from stress relief, they suffer less often from depression, too. A loving partner can share the responsibility of stressful situations, offer support, a listening ear and advice when you need it. And when you need to remember happier, easier times, a loving partner can help with that as well.

 

Love potion 2: Remember the power of play

Any relationship is enhanced by some ‘play-time’. When did you last play? Look at how much fun children have when they play and how boundless their energy! How can you make aspects of your work into ‘play’? You can still be as careful and precise, but you will have enjoyed yourself (and the others as well) and the day will fly by – go on, give it a go!

 

Love potion 3: Little things mean a lot

Love and friendship do require an input of effort and energy, however, that is rewarded 100 time over. Send a text, give an unsolicited hug, give a flower – just that you have thought and shared will be so appreciated by the other and make your relationship stronger.

 

Love  potion 4: Mending Relationships

If you have a relationship with a spouse, partner, or loved one that is a little rocky, focus on fixing it. An unhealthy relationship is just one more stressor that you don’t need and repairing it can provide stress relief and improve your health — and you’ll just feel better about it. Getting started can be tough, but Connolly suggests just reaching out to your loved one. Was there was a problem or issue that divided the relationship that needs to be addressed before you can move on? Or, if you just grew apart, consider rebuilding that relationship.

 

Love  potion 5: Learning to Show Affection

Not everyone is comfortable with affection — perhaps it’s just your personality or the influence of family when you were growing up. If being affectionate is difficult for you, consider trying to start expressing your feelings to those in your life who you love, to strengthen these relationships. Start with small steps, reaching out physically (hugging or a gentle touch) or with affectionate words or actions. From there, you can slowly build on your relationship and your physical affection. “Congratulate yourself each time that you stretch out of your comfort zone and notice the effect that it has on your partner,” says Connolly.

 

Love medicine 6: Laugh together!

Share a funny film or TV show, recall funny incidences, look for moments when you can laugh. Laughter and love are two very powerful healing agents and your life feels so much richer as well. Vanda adds, ‘Look for opportunities to laugh at yourself as well, I often cause myself to chuckle and then I share it with my husband and friends and we all have a laugh.

 

Love potion 7: ‘Get over it!’ GOI

Many of the issues that can easily derail a relationship are REALLY not that big of a deal. You can choose to make it so, or equally, if you value the person and the relationship, you can just ‘Get over it!’ and get on with the pleasurable parts!
 

Steps 3 and 4 of the Mind Chi Basic 8 minute routine, help you to look at the past 24 hours. What might you want to do differently, should the issue happen again? Learn the lessons and then wrap it up and let it go. You also look for all the little successes you had in building your relationships and hold on to those.
 

The full Mind Chi 8 steps may be seen here.

 

Love  potion 8: Give it some time

Keeping a loving relationship alive and thriving, does require an infusion of time. When you think ‘Oh, I must call so-and-so!’ DO it! You don’t need to make it a marathon (unless you want) but just to say, ‘I had a moment while the kettle was boiling and wanted to say Hi!’ Putting aside an evening or some of the week end to enjoy each other, or having a ‘date’ or as Vanda’s American friends say ‘Let’s visit’! Talking, sharing, listening, laughing, being there for each other is the greatest gift you both can receive.

Life presents many challenges and stressors and you need someone there to support you through the difficult times — whether it’s a good friend, family member, spouse, or partner. And it’s equally important to have someone to share in happy times and celebrations. Take time to focus on the relationships in your life and reap the benefits. Just knowing that you have love, support, and help from a loved one can give you positive stress relief.

The ONLY Resilient Woman Warrior, Vanda North conducts ‘How to be a MORE Resilient Woman’ sessions, why not enjoy one for your Valentine gift?

Points 1, 4 & 5 were adapted from the original article by: Diana Rodriguez  and medically reviewed by Lindsey Marcellin, MD, MP    http://www.everydayhealth.com/healthy-living/love-reduces-stress.aspx

How To Find Romance

by

Gregg Hall

Are you searching for that special someone but still coming up empty? Are you tired of spending your nights alone, watching that same old movie with only a Coke and a bowl of popcorn to keep you company? Experience tells me that when you move from one end of the pendulum to the other, you will eventually swing back to the center and find your match there. Let me explain.

Two options stare you in the face: you can start looking in a new place for romance, or you can quit looking altogether.

Choose the first option. Start looking somewhere new if romance continues to run from you. Consider alternative forms of dating, like online dating if you've not already gone there. If you've exhausted your online options, then take off those slippers and put on your dress shoes, because you need to get out in the real world more. Involve yourself in the world around you by taking more classes, going to more parties, and involving yourself in something community oriented that piques your interest. Engage accomplices by asking your friends to keep their eyes open for good matches.

Consider changing your approach to relating and finding romance. If you've hogged the conversation in the past, try opening your ears to listen more. If you avoid eye contact, focus on keeping those peepers up during the date. If your wardrobe looks like a spinster's, then consult a good fashion magazine and update your closet.

Someone wise once said that if you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to keep getting what you're getting. So test the boundaries! Move from one end of the edge to the other and you might just find new and fun experiences as well as dates in your path.

You say you've tried all that? You've tried online dating and community classes and you've spiced up your wardrobe and sought out extremes, but still you find yourself alone with that ever staling popcorn. You're tired of looking, and you're tired of waiting.

Then take a break. Don't just quit, but take a break. The best things happen when you're not trying to find them, right? Isn't that what people say? It's true, you know.

"That's too easy," you say. "You say it, but can you do it? How can I stop looking for something that I want so badly."

Trust me. You can do it. Give yourself time. Do it by jumping into activities that you feel passionate about. Basically, do what you love. Focus on having fun.

And as you do this, you will find yourself finding meaning in life. While you're not trying to forget about the possibility of romance, you're making the best of the life you've got. Pour yourself into doing the things you enjoy. Just because you do this doesn't mean you've given up on romance. But instead, you've given up on the powerful need for a relationship. Do what you love, and what you want will follow.

Gregg Hall is an author living in Navarre Florida. Find more about this as well as romantic gifts at http://www.romanceandlovegifts.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gregg_Hall

Intuitions about Romance

by Judith Orloff M.D.

When we're looking for love (or under its intoxicating influence), we often miss seeing extraordinary signs and messages that pop up in our daily life to give us clues as to whether we're on the right track. However, if you can slow down enough to recognize and listen to your intuitive intelligence, it can reveal truth, warn you of danger, or help you understand people and relationship situations in new ways.

From Second Sight, here are five types of intuitive experiences you may encounter, and what they can teach you about your love relationships.

Body signals.

Your body has many ways of getting your attention. It could be goosebumps when a date feels just right or says something about you that rings "true." Or it might be your hair standing up on the back of your neck when a creep replies to your online dating profile.

How to use it in romantic relationships.

Most commonly referred to as a "gut reaction," your body's response to the world around you is often instant--quicker, in fact, than your conscious thought. Next time you sense your body is trying to alert you to something, check in with it. Are your shoulders tense? Is there a knot in your stomach? Or do you feel energized and excited? When you learn to read your body signals, a whole new type of information will be available to you. What's more, you may be able to avoid getting involved with destructive, unhealthy lovers, or be curious to pursue a really good guy who, at first blush, doesn't seem to be your "type."

Déjà vu.

This is when you feel as though you've had this exact conversation before with someone--even if it's someone you've just met--or you've been to this place before and know what's around the corner and up ahead, even though that's impossible.

How to use it in romantic relationships:

Instead of thinking it's strange and then moving on, don't let the experience go unremarked. Discuss it with a trusted friend, or write it down. Bringing a déjà vu experience that happens in the context of a relationship into the open energizes it, acknowledges its significance, and enables you to find out what it's trying to tell you or where it's trying to lead you. When it comes to romance, déjà vu can be a powerful affirmation that you're doing just what you're supposed to be doing in the moment. Or conversely, it may be a way of telling you to pause, think, and reflect on where you are right now, before proceeding ahead willy-nilly into a relationship you'll regret.

Synchronicity.

This is the experience of perfect timing, such as when you're thinking about a song right when you hear it on the radio, or the computer guy you found in the yellow pages turns out to be someone you had a mad crush on in college.

How to use it in romantic relationships:

Stay aware and look for synchronicity everywhere. Such moments let you know that you're in the flow--in the right place, at the right time. See if you can uncover its hidden significance. Were you meant to bump into this old love? Is the song "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" trying to tell you something about that "bad boy" you're crazy in lust with at the moment?

Seeing beyond.

This is when you're tuned in to an event that's happening right now, but in a different place. For example, you think of a long-lost boyfriend, and then he sends you an email in that instant. Or, you call your guy at work and ask him to pick up a pizza. Turns out there was a deadly accident on his regular route home.

How to use it in romantic relationships:

Your entire body--not just your brain--acts as an intuitive receiver, so the more conscious you become of your whole body, perhaps through a discipline like yoga, the more likely you are to tap into realities outside of your immediate setting. They will come to you in snapshot-life flashes--a taste, smell, sound, or a feeling in your body. Jot down your impressions. The better you get at tuning in, the clearer the messages will become. When two people are really "clicking," such experiences become even more commonplace, such as having intuitive flashes about your lover's health, or about where you two might be living in five years.

Intuitive empathy.

This is when you "pick up a vibe" from another person. For no apparent reason, you suddenly sense a person's deep loneliness, or you feel hostility coming from a person who is smiling at you.

How to use it in romantic relationships:

Being sensitive to other people's nature is a valuable skill--but it comes with perils. If you feel drained after meeting someone at a party, for example, pay attention so you can avoid giving him your phone number. Learning to "read" other people's feelings will improve your romantic relationships, as long as you don't "take on" others' moods and emotions. For example, when you can sense your boyfriend had a bad day, or is tense after talking on the phone to his mom, you can ask him questions to get him emoting. Such empathetic communication deepens and enhances love partnerships.

New Year Message

I would like to wish all my readers and followers a very happy, prosperous, and successful 2013.

If we are to be happy, prosperous and successful then first we must do our best to make others happy, prosperous and successful.  No matter what religion influences you, or even if you do not subscribe to any religious belief at all, I am sure you agree with this sentiment.

With this thought in mind I would like to reproduce for you, with the kind permission of The Divine Life Society, a New Year message issued many years ago by its founder, Sri Swami Sivananda.  May we all apply its key inner meaning to our own lives this year in the way we personally interpret it, whether we are Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, of another persuasion, or of no persuasion at all.

New Year's Message from A Divine Life Mission

by

Sri Swami Sivananda

Children of God!

A New Year of new life has come. Let every day of this New Year of Divine Life be filled with the thoughts of God who is in all and everywhere. A life sacrificed on the altar of Divine Mission, a life dedicated to God is a life of success, peace and joy. On this New Year day surrender yourselves to the Lord who is all around us here, and lead a carefree life of harmony and bliss.

Every day of this New Year should be spent in egoless service, all-embracing love and devotion to God. Stay your minds in Him by offering fervent and sincere prayers daily. Now is the time for you to start a spiritual life, not tomorrow. Japa, Kirtan and meditation are great healers of ills of life. Repeat the Name of the Lord. This indeed, is the way to God’s Kingdom.

One who does not yield to the wrong suggestions of the mind, who is untouched by the commotions of the world, who is pure in mind and heart, who aspires only for the divine good and peace, that is everywhere, enjoys all blessedness here and now. One who forgets himself in the good of others has the Divine Support. If you lead such a selfless life meditating on the Essence of God in all, you will attain Knowledge and Illumination.

Again and again, I exhort you to illumine your deportment with the glow of Love. Love is the mother of all virtues. He that has a heart abounding in Love has known the Lord and scaled the heights of wisdom. Love and God are not different. The Way of Love is the Way of God. It is the way of unity, power and prosperity.

Having become heroes by intense spiritual Sadhana, work with exhilarating charm and ceaseless vigour for the Divine Life Mission in order to show the Light of God to all those who are in darkness and thus end their miseries once for all. To spread the divine knowledge is the only way to cure the diseases of today’s world. With faith in God, live a divine life and awaken people to the spiritual values so that they may enter into a haven of blessedness on this very earth.

May the blessings of sages and saints be upon you all! May God bless you all!

Learning from a Toddler

5 Lessons Learned from a Toddler

Author:  Deborah Fike

If I could summarize my world for you in one sentence, it would be: chasing my toddler. I know the back of my daughter’s scruffy blonde head anywhere: dashing across the living room, making a break for the next grocery aisle, or attempting to go up the slide (much more fun than going down). My old day job required me to attend meetings and sit in front of a computer most of the day. Now, I’m lucky if I get 10 minutes to sit down for a breather before my girl has me running to catch up with her.

I’ve never raised a child before, and given my personality, I decided to read about it. All the toddler self-help books talk about what you need to teach them: how to play with others, learn language, go potty. These books contain great advice for child rearing, but none discuss the things parents learn from toddlers. I have learned at least as much from my daughter as she has learned from me. So here are some tips for living from someone who just started her life journey:

1. It’s your duty to question everything.

Toddlers don’t take anything as a given. They don’t understand that you should eat your peas, not put them in your hair. On a more serious note, they don’t understand that running into the street can kill you, so they may bolt at any second. And when you stop them from doing something they want to do, you get the dreaded string of “whys.”

But “whys” are a good thing. They demonstrate curiosity and a thirst to understand the world. More importantly, they force us to evaluate all of our decisions. Toddlers don’t like to follow a rule with a weak “why,” and neither should adults. So if something bothers you, question it. Don’t like the answer? Channel your inner toddler and take action. You’ll feel better in the long run (especially on ethical decisions) if you always ask “why.”

2. All skills take practice, but you’ll get there eventually.

It is amazing how very little a baby can do at birth. He can’t see or hear well. Many babies struggle with the sucking reflex, so they can’t even eat well. When you watch a baby grow, it’s amazing to watch him master the ability to move and manipulate things, including himself. It literally takes years. Reasoning takes much longer. (Some parents of teenagers might argue that day never comes.) And how do we learn all of this? By doing it day in, day out for years at a time.

So as an adult, if you’re trying to learn a new skill, you’ve got to be patient and put in the time to learn something new. Toddlers thrive on doing the same things over and over again, and that’s how they become master walkers and talkers. Don’t get me wrong – toddlers are rarely patient. My daughter can cry with the best of them when she encounters a container she wants to open and can’t. But she works at it constantly until she does eventually open the box (usually to my frustrated sigh as I go find a broom).

3. There is opportunity in destruction.

Before my daughter was born, I saw the world as a place where I could create. I could find connections and establish a career. I could open up my computer and write a story. Opportunities abound in this world because I can build in it.

Toddlers like creation, but many value destruction even more. I stack blocks, my daughter knocks them down. At first, this frustrates an adult, especially when something you cherish has been ruined by your child. But there’s opportunity in destruction too. When your child scribbles marker on the wall, you have a chance to paint it a nicer color than its original boring beige. For a more adult-oriented example, perhaps you’ve been pigeonholed as a great accountant, but you’d rather be a carpenter. Casting away your old career for a new one can be more rewarding than building upon what you already have. Sometimes the greatest joy is found not in the creation, but the destruction, of something you’ve built.

4. Go outside as often as you can.

The outdoors is a magical place for a toddler. It doesn’t matter how many toys, books, and interesting things I shove in a room, it can only hold her attention for about 30 minutes (if I’m that lucky). Then I’m stuck either listening to her whine or taking her someplace else. This rule does not hold true if my toddler plays outside. We went to the beach the other weekend, and my daughter had no trouble entertaining herself for nearly 4 hours.

I used to spend a lot of time outdoors through my college years, but once I entered the “real world,” I’ve been less committed. I feel a lot healthier now that I spend more time outside with my daughter. Even if it’s just sitting on the front steps, the outdoors is at once more relaxing and exciting at the same time. It’s relaxing because natural noises lull you in the place of electronic ringtones and computer clicks. It’s exciting because all sorts of things can and do happen: you chat with your neighbors, a helicopter flies overhead, or a large butterfly catches your eye. I now value outdoor time as much as exercise and eating right.

5. Love like there’s no tomorrow.

Toddlers have little emotional restraint, and as parents, it’s our job to teach them how to work through emotions so they can live a normal life. But when it comes to love, toddlers have the right idea. They have no qualms springing a hug on you, even if it means nearly tripping you in the process. My daughter’s kiss is the best gift I have ever received in this world. She gives it at a moment’s notice, and it is always accompanied by the most genuine smile. The feeling it evokes cannot be described by ordinary words.

Imagine the world with more toddler love. It’d probably involve more chases and tickling, but I could live with that.

What have you learned from your children?