Making and Breaking Resolutions

If you are reading this soon after it is published, then it is that time of year again.  The time we try to keep New Year resolutions.

Did you make any resolutions this year?  How many?  And have you kept them all?  Have you kept any of them?

For many people, New Years Resolutions are simply a tradition.  A bit like hanging up stockings and waiting for Santa to fill them.  They don't really expect to keep them.

For many others, New Years Resolutions are an opportunity to do something they know they ought to do, or stop doing something they know they ought to stop, but have never really had the motivation.

Most of the above fail to keep their resolutions.  Why?

Well, if you are in that first category, notice the final sentence.  "They don't really expect to keep them."  Is it any wonder  you don't keep those resolutions?  If you start with an expectation of failure, this will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.  If you don't really expect to keep a resolution you shouldn't make it.  Not only is it a waste of effort, but it is actually harmful.  Why harmful?  Because you are sending out a message to your subconscious mind that you are unable to achieve whatever you try to achieve.  Keep sending out this message and your subconscious will then apply it to everything else you try to do.  By paying lip-service to the tradition of making resolutions you will be weakening your ability to achieve anything, not simply those half-hearted resolutions.

As for the second category, notice "they have never really had the motivation".  Do you fit into that category?  Do you make resolutions in good faith, and with every intention of keeping them, but don't really have any motivation to do so?  If so, then you are very unlikely to succeed.  Without motivation you will probably fall at the first hurdle.  If not the first hurdle then the second.  And there will be quite a few hurdles to cross before you can finally say you have kept the resolution and will now always keep it.  You need strong motivation to cross all those hurdles.

Before even thinking of making a resolution, begin by asking yourself why you want to do this.

For example, if you want to stop smoking, why do you want to stop?  The glib answer to this is "because smoking is unhealthy".  That may be the reason, but it is not sufficient to give you the motivation you need.  What you should do is start listing all the positives and the negatives.  The positives are all the benefits you will gain if you stop smoking.  Try to think of as many as you can.  Identify the ones that really appeal.  The negatives are all the bad things that may happen if you don't stop smoking.  Again, try to think of as many as you can.  Do some research online if you cannot come up with a long list - you will find plenty of reasons out there.  And again, identify the ones that really horrify you.

At this point you have a list of really great things that should inspire you to keep your resolution, and another list of really bad things that can happen if you don't keep it.  Focus on those lists every day.  Especially focus on the positive list.  Really feel the change inside you and how good it makes you feel.

If you do this properly you will have the motivation you really need in the form of a bunch of carrots and a load of sticks!  With that motivation you are much more likely to succeed!

Of course, you don't have to do this simply at New Year.  This is a good exercise to try at any time of year.

Tackle your resolutions this way one by one.  Once you have turned a resolution into a habit which you are confident is there for good, then turn to the next one.  Don't try to do two or more at once, as you are then much more likely to fail.  Focus on just the one.  Don't pick one that you think you ought to do but cannot really get yourself properly motivated to do - when you create your "reasons why" lists you will soon see whether or not this is something for you to attempt.  And don't think of it as a pass or fail exercise.  You may slip back into your old habits from time to time.  Don't consider that a "fail", but just a reminder that it is important to keep on trying.

Use these techniques and you really can improve your life in ways that may not even seem possible right now!

New Year Resolution

Did you notice the title of this article is "New Year Resolution" rather than "New Year Resolutions"?  There is a very good reason for this.

The majority of people fail to keep their resolutions.  Many have broken most or all of them before the first week of the New Year has finished!  Why is this?  Why do New Year's Resolutions simply not work for most people?

The reason for this is that most people view New Year's Resolutions as something fleeting.  Something not really intended to last much beyond the holiday season.  They make a whole series of resolutions without any serious intention of getting them to work.

If you really want this year to be better for you than last year, don't fall into the trap of making a bunch of resolutions you are not highly motivated to keep.  If you fall into this trap it is most unlikely you will keep them.  You will feel guilty each time you break another resolution, and you will reinforce the idea that New Year's Resolutions simply do not work, making it even more difficult in future years to make and keep meaningful resolutions.

Instead of having a long list of resolutions you are doomed not to keep, why not just have one New Year Resolution?  Just commit to changing one thing in your life, one thing that will make a real difference.  It is so much easier to tackle one resolution at a time.  There is not really any need even to call it a resolution, especially as New Year's Day has already passed.  Instead, call it a goal.

You should find just renaming your New Year Resolution a goal will make a real difference.  Subconsciously you will be far more committed to achieving it.  Also those around you will probably have a very different attitude.  If you call it a resolution it is only human nature for people to wait to see how long it will be before you break it.  Not at all an encouraging attitude!  But if you call it a goal then you should find at least your real friends (and I include family in this description) will be only too pleased to help you achieve it.  I have heard it said that as a result you are 10 times more likely to succeed.

Sit down right now, or rather when you have finished reading this article, and decide what aspect of your life you would truly like to change.  Something you really want with all your heart's desire.  Choose well and you will be highly motivated to achieve it.

Write down your goal.  Writing it down makes it far more real.

If you really want to succeed, then advertise your new goal.  Post it on Facebook.  Tell your friends.  Now you are really committed.  The people around you will expect to see some results, so do not disappoint them!

Once you have made this commitment draw up a plan of attack.  Write a detailed plan, including mini goals with timescales to achieve them.  Or perhaps just enter the timescale for the first mini goal, with the others to be filled in as you achieve each mini goal.

Post updates in social media.  This will encourage you to keep going, and will also probably generate further encouragement from your followers.

Use any tools you may find helpful to keep you focused on achieving your goal.  If you subscribe to my newsletter you will see many such tools, and some of them will be the perfect fit for you.  You can subscribe to my newsletter here and at the same time get four free e-books which will also help you along the way to your goal:  www.beallican.com.

Once you reach your goal it is then time to pick the next one.  Don't worry if it is not yet New Year.  Hopefully you will achieve more than one goal in a year so don't wait until the next New Year celebrations before working on a new goal.  Within a few years you will find you have achieved far more, and are probably far happier, than would have been the case if you had stuck to the tradition of setting New Year's Resolutions.

Credit for image:  Jenny Rollo, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia

Using a Vision Board to Keep Your New Year's Resolutions

Have you considered creating a vision board to help you with your New Year's resolutions this year? This can be a fantastic way to stay on track and actually make your resolution achievable. Plus you can use a vision board for any type of goal or dream that you want to achieve.

Not sure what a vision board is? It’s a collection of pictures and words pasted onto a board, either a physical board or a virtual one.  In my youth I thought of a vision board as a treasure map - with my goals being the treasure depicted on the map.

The images and pictures you use can be your own or can be ones that mean something to you in some way or other. For a modern day vision board you can use a site like Pinterest.

Pinterest allows you to set up boards on which you Pin images. For example if your resolution is to lose weight you can create a Weight Loss Board. Then Pin an image of how you look at the start of your weight loss journey along with pictures of things that hold meaning to you. This could be pictures of a smaller pair of jeans, or a super black dress or a bathing suit that you want to fit into.

If you prefer to do this at home then you can use a cork board set up in your home. Or you could just attach images to your fridge or bathroom mirror.

By far the best way though, in my opinion, is to combine images, words and sounds - especially music which reflects in some way the goals you want to reach.  Don't be put off by the apparent complexity of doing this, as it is a lot simpler than it sounds if you have the right tools.  There is a digital product which makes it as easy as falling off a log!  This is the "Digital Vision Board Creation Kit" by Mind Movies, the brainchild of my friend Natalie Ledwell.  You can get 6 completely free pre-made digital vision boards on attracting wealth, finding inner peace, having a great social life, becoming healthier, becoming more confident, and learning to love yourself.  Click on the image below to pick up your 6 free digital vision boards and to find out more about the Digital Vision Board Creation Kit you can use to create your own personalized digital vision boards.  When you get your 6 free pre-made Mind Movies, you'll also get instant access to this cool video series that tells you why and how Mind Movies work. The first video is with the legendary Law of Attraction Expert Bob Proctor and it's super interesting!

The problem with New Year's resolutions is that they can be difficult to keep. The sad fact that is by the end of January almost 90% of resolution have been forgotten about or broken. Don't let this happen to you this year.

When it comes to keeping your resolution you will be more successful if you set up a plan of action. As well as writing down what your goal or resolution is try using pictures so that you can visualize your goal.

To be truly successful with your resolution your best bet is to only select one resolution to work on at a time. Write your resolution out as a statement and attach a date to end.

For example "I lost 50 pounds by December 31."

As you can see we wrote this goal out as though you have completed it. This helps to reinforce your commitment to reaching your goal. It doesn't hurt to repeat this to yourself every morning or whenever you feel your motivation lacking.   That verbalization gives your subconscious cues about what you want to happen.

If your resolution is one that you have used before it is important to forgive yourself for not reaching it before. Don't think about what you did to fail last year. Instead focus on how you will succeed, and using a vision board is a great way to do this.

You want to fill your vision board with all your hopes and dreams for things that you desire once your resolution is completed. This could be a picture of a new car, a new home, or a new wardrobe of clothes for your skinny body.

On your vision board you can create milestone sections. These could be 2 or 3 month markers. With a digital vision board you could create one for, say, the next couple of months, then update it, archiving the old board so you can look back at earlier targets.  Evaluate your progress when these dates arrive and make any changes if necessary. If you aren't on track then look back on your vision board to see where you were 3 months ago. You will be reminded that you have made progress and this can help re-motivate you.

Concentrate on what you have achieved so far and celebrate your success. No matter how small a step you have taken it is important that you acknowledge it.

A reminder again about the free Digital Vision Boards you can get from my friend Natalie Ledwell.  Here is the link:

http://www.mindmovies.com/mm4/bobproctor.php?25923

New Year Resolutions or Goals

Do you enjoy making New Year Resolutions, or actually the question should be do you keep your resolutions?  Did you know that 9 out of 10 people fail to keep their resolutions?  In fact I started a MOOC course on 5th January which had as its opening sentence "It’s January. The holiday is over, and you have already broken your New Year’s resolutions."  So what is the reason for this?

One of the main reasons that New Year's resolutions fail is simply because you are not totally committed to them.  Many people make so many resolutions that it is simply impossible to know where to start.  So instead of taking action it is much easier to give up on all of them.

The best way to get around this issue is to find something that you truly want to achieve with all of your heart.  This might be to lose 50 pounds to save $1,000 or to take up a new hobby.

Another way to look at your New Year's resolution is by shifting your perspective of it.  Resolutions are viewed as wishes and dreams by many people, and this is another reason why people aren't successful with them.

Instead you want to turn your resolution into a life goal.  Goals are more often specific things and desires that you want to achieve.  When you tell people what your goal is they are more likely to be supportive.  When you say that you just made a New Year's Resolution they often assume that once February hits your resolution will have disappeared.

Be very specific with your resolution and make it based on one thing.  This way you will find it much easier to stay on track and achieve your goals.  If your goal is a large one that includes a lifestyle change then break it down.

Break down a large goal into monthly, weekly and even daily goals.  By attaining a smaller goal you are less likely to lose your focus and you will be able to see that you are making progress.

Let's look at an example here.  Say you want to lose 50 pounds by next Christmas and make this your New Year's resolution.  If you leave it at that and start working on losing weight in January things are great.  What happens, though, is that you don't lose weight fast enough, and by February you have only lost 5 pounds.  Your immediate reaction is to give up because at that rate you won't reach your goal by the end of December.

You are not alone if you think like this, many people do and giving up acts as an excuse for not continuing.  A better scenario would be this:

Break up the 50 pounds into a yearly goal by setting a weekly goal to lose 1 pound.  This is much more realistic and attainable.  The chances are that you will have weeks where you lose more than 1 pound and this can help spur you on.  Plus it offers you a safety guard for those weeks when you don't lose any weight.

You must always remember that it is okay to get off track a little and not meet your goal.  For instance you may not lose weight but you may be exercising more and feeling great.  Think about how one balances out the other.  You are feeling great and this is a positive.  While not losing pounds is not what you want, you are still working on improving your lifestyle, which is a different plus!

This year try defining your resolutions as goals instead.  If you have made your resolutions, re-define them now.  Do this even if you have already failed to keep them.  If, like many, you didn’t even bother to set yourself any resolutions because you knew you wouldn’t keep them, set them now, but as goals.  Don’t worry about the fact that you didn’t set them for 1st January, as they are now goals, not resolutions.  Give yourself a time when you want to achieve them and tell your family and friends what your goals are.  You may find that they are more supportive than you expected.

Finally, if you would like some help from me in keeping your resolutions, simply send a blank e-mail to resolution@getresponse.net.  When you do this you will get an e-mail back asking you to confirm you wish to subscribe to my e-mail list.  If you confirm your subscription you will then receive 52 weekly supportive e-mails which will help keep you on track.  This is a free service, so why not take advantage of it!

Celebrating the New Year

How do you celebrate New Year?  Do you have any particular rituals you follow, and do they have any real meaning for you?

There are many different rituals around the world, but there are some common themes underlying most of them.  Here are just a few examples:

In Panama, people burn effigies of well-known personalities.  The effigy represents the old year, and burning it drives away the evil of the old year, making way for the good of the New Year.

The concept of throwing away the old to make way for the new is taken one step further in Johannesburg, South Africa, where people throw old furniture and appliances out of their windows on New Year’s Eve.  If you are planning to spend New Year in Johannesburg, watch your head!

In Japan, workers have what they call a “bonenkai” party some time near the end of the year.  Literally, this means “forget the year party”.  The idea is to draw a line under what has happened during the year so you can start the New Year afresh.

In Denmark, people stand on a chair during the countdown to the New Year and leap from the chair as the clock strikes 12.

A rather different custom is the communal New Year kiss in St Mark’s Square, Venice.  What could be better than starting the New Year with love and friendship?

Finally, while most of the above is about forgetting and letting go of the old in order to start the new, “Auld Lang Syne” is all about remembering people with fondness.  “Auld Lang Syne” is an old Ayrshire folksong.  It was transcribed, but not originally written as many believe, by Rabbie Burns.  The custom of singing “Auld Lang Syne” at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve was instituted by the Canadian bandleader Guy Lombardo.

Here are the words of the first verse and chorus of “Auld Lang Syne” (literal meaning “Old Long Since”):

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

And never brought to mind?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

And auld lang syne!

For auld lang syne, my dear,

For auld lang syne.

We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,

For auld lang syne.

The theme throughout most those rituals and customs is that we should clear away the clutter of the old year, all the things holding us back, and start the New Year afresh.  At the same time, we should remember those who have helped us on our way.

We don’t need a ritual to do this though.  Nor do we have to do it only on New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day.  I think it should be a daily practice.  At the end of each day, reflect on what has happened.  Forgive anyone who has wronged you, and forgive yourself of all the wrong you have done, releasing all the bad which will otherwise hold you back.  Think of all the good that has happened and be thankful for it, and especially for all the people who have been good to you.  Now you can sleep easy and be ready to start the new day afresh.  Make this a daily habit, remembering and being thankful for the good and washing away the bad, and you will find it so much easier to make a fresh start and achieve whatever it is you want to achieve.

If you would like help with setting your Resolutions and goals for the New Year, or for any time, take a look at my “ResolutionRevolution” - http://beallican.com/gpdm/resolutionrevolution/info.htm.

Achieve Your Biggest Goal

We are so very close to what is at least the Western New Year.  Many of us make resolutions which we will try to keep throughout the coming year.  A commendable effort, but very often one which we fail to maintain once the first few days of the year are past.

Whether or not you are planning to make New Year Resolutions, I urge you to use this opportunity to achieve a goal you may have had in mind for some time but have so far not managed to reach.

What is the goal you most wish to achieve over the coming year?  Do you immediately know what it is, or do you have to think about it?

If you know what that goal is, then great!  You have already made one of the most important steps towards realising it.  Before we can achieve a goal we must have a clear idea about what that goal is.

If not, then don’t worry.  Begin by brainstorming.  List on a sheet of paper all the goals you really want to achieve.  Write them as though you have already achieved them.

These should not be absolutely impossible goals.  “I can make myself invisible”, “I am the ruler of the world”, “I have X-Ray vision”, all spring to mind.  These are not the kind of goals you should be listing.  Nor should you put "I am a millionaire" unless you already have substantial wealth and can believe this would not be completely impossible in twelve months.  The latter can be a good goal to have, no matter how little money you have now, but it doesn't belong on this list of short term goals.  If you want a money goal, "I have increased my net worth by 10% over the last 12 months" might work here.

Make sure they are personal goals.  “I have helped bring about peace” is personal, but “there is world peace” is not (and is also rather impracticable to regard as being possible over the next year!).  “There is great love in my household” is not personal, but “I have a deep and loving relationship with my wife” is.

Other than those rules (possible, and personal) do not try to judge or think about a goal before you write it down.  And once you have written it down, don’t stop and think about it, not even to consider whether or not it does fit the rules.  Move right on to the next one.

Keep going with listing those goals until you have written down at least 10, all phrased as though you have already achieved them.  If they are all the same kind of goal, keep going until you have some diversity there.  For example, try to include some goals about your relationships, or your career.

Now you can go through and check that all your listed goals fit the two rules.  Any that are not personal or that you feel are quite impossible, cross out.  In the case of the impossible ones, you should then think whether there is some intermediate goal on the way to this which is not impossible and which you have not already listed.  If so, write that down too.

The next step is to choose the one goal on which you most set your heart.  Not the one you think is most achievable – that is a cop out!  The one you really want to achieve more than any of the others.  Which goal would have the biggest impact on your life if you could achieve it right now?  Circle this goal.  This goal is what we will call your “Biggest Goal”.

Now take another sheet of paper and write the goal at the top of the page.  Next to it, write a deadline of one year from today.  Now brainstorm again.  This time, think of all the things you would need to do to achieve your Biggest Goal.  Write as many down as you can as fast as you can.  Don’t stop at 10.  Not even at 15 or 25.  Keep on going until you have written down at least 50 steps you could take.  This will probably be hard once you get past the first dozen or so steps, but keep going anyway.  Don’t worry about the order; don’t try to think what step comes next.  Just write down any steps you can think of that will help get you closer to your goal.

The final stage is this:  Look at the list of actions you can take and start doing them.  Some may be achievable in one day.  Most will not.  But that doesn’t matter, just begin working on them any way.  Every day, do something, no matter how small, which moves you one step forwards towards your goal.

When you have achieved one completely, tick it off.  Not all the actions can be treated this way, as many will probably be ongoing tasks – keep working on them.  But the key is you must do something every day, no matter how small it may seem, to bring you closer to your goal.

And you know something?  Three hundred small steps, taken together, are one gigantic step.  So well before the year is out you will have made major progress towards achieving your goal, and may even have achieved it completely!

If you follow the principles I have outlined here, a year from now you will look back and will be absolutely amazed at the difference it has made in your life!  Start now, and make sure you can achieve your Biggest Goal over the next twelve months!

PS Don't throw away the original list!  You are going to need it soon, as once you have achieved your Biggest Goal you need to start going for your Next Biggest Goal!

PPS Are you ready to make 2013 your most successful year yet?  Join Brian Tracy for his FREE webinar “12-Step Method For Setting and Achieving Your Goals” and reach every goal you set for the coming year! Get more information here: "Setting and Achieving Your Goals".