Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts

Wednesday, 8 August 2018

Limiting Beliefs


Are there any limits on what you can achieve in this life?

The scientists among you will probably answer this with a resounding "Yes!".  Of course there are limits!  There are the laws of physics for starters!  If you are going to deny the laws of physics, then you clearly don't know what you are talking about!

The practitioners of the Law of Attraction will probably answer this with a resounding "No!".  There ARE no limits to what you can achieve!  Know that you can achieve it, know why you want to achieve it, and know that because of this the Universe has already achieved it for you!

Both are right, but also both are wrong.

I would remind the scientists that even the laws of physics themselves are a changing feast.  Nothing in this universe is immutable; everything, including even the basic scientific laws we have believed in for centuries, has the seeds of change within it.  Laws help us interpret what is happening around us.  They even help us predict what is likely to happen next.  But they are not cast in concrete, even though some charlatans who claim to be scientists may tell us they are.

I would remind the practitioners of the Law of Attraction that there ARE limits - the limits we ourselves create, our limiting beliefs.  If you believe you cannot achieve something you are absolutely correct in your belief!  And it is that belief which will ultimately prevent you from achieving it.

Limiting beliefs arise in many different ways and from many different sources.  But often they are linked to that first objection - the belief that the laws of the universe will prevent us from achieving what we want to achieve.

There is, actually, a very good evolutionary reason for this source of limiting beliefs.  There are, of course, actions you can take which place you in danger.  If you are tempted to take such actions you will find strong objections rising from within that prevent you following through.  If this did not happen you would be much more likely to die, perhaps before you had contributed to the gene pool.  By definition, those who lack this protective mechanism are therefore much less likely to have children, and whatever gene "malfunction" stripped away the protection is unlikely to be passed on to the next generation.  If you look up "Darwin Awards" online you will see many such examples.

If you are tempted to step off a skyscraper just to see whether you have developed the ability to fly, but find an inner fear of the likely consequences prevents you, this inherent limiting belief is certainly performing an essential function.  But if you are a well trained acrobat you will need to conquer that same fear.  The fear that stops someone else doing something stupid can not only limit you from achieving what you need to achieve, but can also appear at just the wrong moment and cause the very harm it is supposed to limit.

The trouble is, this underlying evolutionary protective mechanism has no way of knowing when it should and when it should not act.  If it senses a set of pre-defined circumstances it will swing into action and prevent you achieving what you are trying to achieve.  Unless you know how and when to switch it off.

I have focussed here on physical danger, as that is the most obvious example, and one everyone can follow.  But our inherent evolutionary limiting beliefs are by no means confined to physical danger.  In fact, they tend to try to prevent any change at all.  If you are alive and healthy, then (this internal security guard argues) whatever you have been doing up to now clearly works in your favour.  By extension, anything you may wish to do which could change the status quo could bring danger.  To be on the safe side your internal security guard will try to lock you into the status quo and block out anything that could change it.

This resistance to change is present within all of us.  It is not the only limiting belief by any means.  We have all collected hundreds or even thousands of limiting beliefs.  But an inherent resistance to change is probably the biggest limiting belief of all.

Being aware you have a limiting belief is always the first required step to remove it.  Be aware that you have a natural, innate resistance to change.  Don't try to remove the fear of stepping off a skyscraper (unless, of course, you are an acrobat and that is part of your act).  You will probably not be successful if you do try, and if you ARE successful it may well be your last success in life!  But do look carefully at whatever within you is resisting change, as you need to accept and even demand change if you want to achieve anything at all.

Wednesday, 13 June 2018

Serenity


In the 1930s  Reinhold Niebuhr wrote what has become known as the Serenity Prayer:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,  Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference."

All three elements of this prayer are important.  Clearly if we see something that should be changed and know how we can change it, then change it we should!  But it is also very important to take proper note of the other two elements.  Recognizing the things we cannot change and accepting them the way they are.

Most of us interpret the world around us far too personally.  We think that everything revolves around us, just as people before Galileo believed the sun revolved around the earth.  So when things are not the way we think they should be, we view this as a personal attack.  Perhaps not consciously, but definitely unconsciously.

This links back to my previous article.  There I discussed how we take the words of others too personally, which then effectively turns those words into magic spells against us.  What others say to us is conditioned by something in them, not in us.

But this also applies to the world around us in general.  Many people see this as a hostile world.  It is not.  It just seems that way to you.  Sometimes bad things happen.  Not because we deserve them.  Not because of something we did or said.  They just happen.  Yes, sometimes they ARE a result of, or at least influenced by, something we did or said.  But often they are not.

It is good to try to identify when something bad (or something good) has resulted from our own actions or words.  If we can see there is a link then we can change our behaviour to make it less likely something bad like this will happen again, or more likely something good like this will happen again.  That is "courage to change the things I can".  But have the "wisdom to know the difference" and recognize that most things are not personally linked in this way.  They just happen.

I happen to believe we all have a lot of power to change the world around us in a very positive way.  If we use that power properly we can achieve great things and have wonderful, happy lives.  But I also know that the things people say to me, the things they do to me, the situations that arise every day which are not the way I want them to be, are mostly nothing to do with me.  They are to do with those other people, and to do with simply the way things are.  They are not personal and I do not take them personally.

If you can really adopt the Serenity Prayer as your own life philosophy I truly believe you can have a much happier and a much more fulfilled life.  Try it!

Wednesday, 3 May 2017

Questions



When you want to change your life for the better how do you begin the process?  Do you immediately start trying to fix the problem?  And do you see that problem as something outside, in your environment, or something within you?

Just by asking you those questions I have hopefully started to make you question the ways in which you do this.  I hope so.  Because asking the right questions first is a key step in creating change.

Too often we ask ourselves the wrong questions.  We may or may not get good answers, but those answers will not help move us forward in quite the right direction if the questions we asked were the wrong questions.  They may move us vaguely in the right way, if they were vaguely the right question.  But there will usually be much better answers we could have found if the question were more focussed.

For example, suppose you have decided that you need to earn more money.  So you ask yourself the question "how can I earn more money?"  Perhaps you decide the answer is to ask your boss for a pay rise.  Now don't get me wrong.  In this case the answer is pretty good.  You may or may not get that raise, but if you do, then you have certainly moved forwards in the right direction.  You will get more money.  There is also a chance that you won't get that raise though.  Should the question have been "how do I earn more money" in the first place?  I am not saying this is the wrong question, but only that you should really make sure it IS the right question before you rely completely on the answer it gives you.  Perhaps the question should have been "how do I become wealthier?"  And when you ask that question maybe the answer that comes back is "create a passive income stream".  Or maybe a series of answers come back, one of which is "ask for a raise", another is "create a passive income stream", and perhaps another is another question: "am I in the right job?"

So, when you want to create change, begin by thinking about what changes you should be trying to make, rather than rushing in and trying to make changes before you know for certain those are the changes you should be making.  The key to successfully changing things for the better is to make sure you first ask yourself the right questions.

Think deeply about the questions you should ask yourself.  Think really deeply.  Don't assume the first question that comes to mind is necessarily the right question.  In fact, don't assume there should only be one question.  Usually you will find there is more than one question, and then probably more than one good answer to each of those questions.

When you are considering the right questions to ask, focus on yourself rather than on the environment.  The changes you need to make will come from within.  They may then change things around you, but the process starts within.  You do not have absolute control over your environment, but you CAN take absolute control of yourself.  Ask yourself questions about the changes you can and should make in yourself, and you can then change everything for the better.

Wednesday, 7 December 2016

Time Travel IS Possible


If you could travel back in time and change anything, anything at all, what would you change?

OK, I know we cannot travel back in time - at least, not yet.  But humour me please.  Imagine that you could.  For Doctor Who fans, imagine you are Doctor who and you have your own Tardis.  Close your eyes, think about how things are now, then think about what you could do to change them if you could go back in time.

Pick something that really means a lot to you.  Something that can get you emotional.  Something you can invest with your emotions.  Something that would make a real, important difference.  A difference in your life or a difference in the lives of those around you, or both.

Now let me add two rules:
1  You cannot go back to before you were born.
2  The only magical power you have is the power to go back in time.

As a result of those rules, You can only change things by behaving differently.  Not by playing superman.  Not by going back to pre-war Germany and assassinating Hitler - unless you are at least 90!

Perhaps those rules mean you need a different objective.  If so, change your objective.

Visualize that objective.  Now visualize what you are going to do in order to change what happened.  Remember, this has to be a realistic action, not something that is virtually impossible.  See yourself making that change, and then visualize how things are now as a result of that change.  How does that make you feel?  Hold on to that good feeling.  Bask in it.

Now choose something else.  Again, something that would make a real difference.  Something it would be possible for you to change if only you could go back in time.  Visualize the things you did to change it, and the difference that made.  Feel that difference strongly.  Let the positive vibes from it change your state.

Do this a third time with yet something else.  Maybe something completely different.  Perhaps if the first two were mainly changes to your present lifestyle, then make this one something that will make things better for those around you - your family and friends, or even strangers if you wish.  And vice versa.

How do you feel, now you have imagined those changes?  Happy and fulfilled, I hope.  Don't feel frustrated, thinking that there is nothing you can do now to change what has already happened.  Just feel good about the changes you wanted to make.

This exercise alone will change things for you if you let it.  You have sent a message to the Universe, and the Universe has heard and will respond.

But that is not the only reason I asked you to do it.  Nor is it even the main reason.

Think for a moment about what you did.  You knew that by doing things differently you could make a change for the better in the future.  As I said, at the moment we do not have the ability to go back in time and change things, but we do have the ability to change things now, to make things better in the future by changing what we do now.

Time travel IS possible right now, just not in the way you may have thought.  Not only is it possible, but it is happening.  The future is not here yet, but it is coming.  And changes in what you do now will change that future.  What kind of future do you want?  For yourself and for those around you?  Think about that carefully, then start doing now the things that will change your future for the better!  You are in your own private time machine and can change everything.  You are Doctor Who and have your own Tardis.  Choose wisely how you change it all!

Wednesday, 12 October 2016

Be the Change



“We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.”

This was written by Mahatma Gandhi in 1913, paraphrased on bumper stickers to "Be the change you wish to see in the world".

How true!  On so many levels!

The only thing you can change in human society directly is yourself.  You can encourage others to change, but you cannot change them; only they can do that.  But indirectly you most certainly can, and you do that by changing yourself.

Do you want world peace?  Guess what?  The way to begin creating world peace is to begin by making yourself peaceful.

But notice also the third sentence.  "As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him."  I believe this is one of the missing keys to Manifestation.

Thousands of people, perhaps even millions, have tried Manifestation, Affirmation, Creative Visualization, the Law of Attraction - it comes in many guises and with many different names, but the concept is the same.  They try it, but then give up because (they say) it doesn't work.  Are you one of those people?  I hope not!  It does work as long as you do it properly.

Does what you focus on materialize?  Perhaps.  But certainly not every time.  Not even most of the time.  The world would be completely chaotic if it did.  Just imagine it for one moment!  Think how many completely irreconcilable demands there would be on the universe!  There would be signs of the laws of physics being broken all the time.  After all, Jesus did tell his disciples "If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you."

Perhaps you think this makes me a sceptic.  Why am I saying something that appears to go against what all Law of Attraction coaches teach?

Well, firstly, if you really take the Law of Attraction very seriously and study properly under a good coach you will find that is not what the best coaches teach.  What has happened is that people have extracted "sound bites" from the pure teachings and then pass these little extracts on as though they are the entire story.  Is Christianity a religion that teaches its followers to uproot mountains?  Not a bit of it!  But if the only verse in the Bible you have read is Matthew 17:20 then you could be forgiven for thinking it was.

Secondly, and the best coaches will certainly teach you this, good practice of the Law of Attraction begins with you changing your own nature.  Change what you are to reflect what it is you want to achieve and the Universe will recognize that and will begin to reward you by returning to you the things that fit with that new nature.

Have you ever noticed that lottery winners tend to lose most of their money within a few years of receiving it, or even faster?  Also, have you ever noticed that people who have created a fortune themselves can lose it all but quite quickly get it all back again?  Here are just a few examples of the latter:

  • Walt Disney's first film company went bust in 1922.  I don't think I need remind you that this was not the end of the Walt Disney empire!  Why?  Because he was Walt Disney!  It is who he was!

  • Larry King filed for bankruptcy in 1978.  In 2015 he was estimated to be worth around $150 million.  Why?  Because he is Larry King!  It is who he is!

  • Francis Ford Coppola filed for bankruptcy twice.  The latest information I could find on his net worth is $100 million.  Why?  Because he is Francis Ford Coppola!  It is who he is!

  • Kim Basinger had $5.4 million in 1993.  She was sued for $8.1 million and went bankrupt.  In 2014 she was worth $36 million.  Why?  Because she is Kim Basinger!  It is who she is!

You are probably saying "I am not Walt Disney, Larry King, Francis Ford Coppola or Kim Bassinger".  But that is the point!  Each of these people have (or had) something within them that made them who they are.  Take away their wealth and it just comes back, because of who they are.  Believe it or not, you can and should also change your internal nature so that the Universe begins to provide you with what it is you really want.

This is only the first step.  Once you have taken it you must also do those things in the "sound bites" you have probably already read in articles on Manifesting and the Law of Attraction.  But take that step first.  Be the change you wish to see!

Saturday, 5 April 2014

Change Blindness

Do you sometimes despair and feel that you are not making any inroads at all into the changes you want to make in your personal development?

If you are not using any of the correct techniques, particularly proper goal setting, mind movies and other various law of attraction techniques, then maybe you need to start applying them right now.  There is plenty of material you can find to help you on my blog, and even more for those of you who receive a regular e-mail from me (if you don't receive any yet, just enter your name and e-mail address in the box to the right of this blog, the one that says "I Want Them Now!", and you will get some free e-books to help you as well as my regular e-mails).

But even if you are moving in the right direction it is easy to believe you are not.

One reason is that our minds are not at all good at recognizing change.  So even if you have made good progress you may simply not be seeing it properly.

Most of us cannot even see when things around us have changed physically.  Psychologists refer to this as "change blindness".

If you don't believe me (or even if you do!) try out this interesting experiment, kindly provided by students at the University of Idaho:


Personally I found this very difficult.  I took ages to see something that had clearly changed right in front of my nose.  How about you?

Well if you cannot even see the changes around you, then do not be at all surprised that you don't notice changes within you.

The next time you are tempted to say you have made no progress, or even just too little progress, try this simple exercise.  Instead of focusing on where it is you want to be, take a look at where you used to be.  You may be surprised, once you do this, by just how far you have come, especially if you have been working on this goal for some time.