Showing posts with label impossible. Show all posts
Showing posts with label impossible. Show all posts

Wednesday, 20 July 2016

What are Your Limiting Beliefs?



Notice I didn't ask whether or not you have any limiting beliefs, just what they are.  If you believe you do not have any, you are deceiving yourself.  We all have limiting beliefs.  Every one of us.

Limiting beliefs are not "limited" to the poor and those of us who are not well known.  The French King Charles VI, for example, had a belief that limited him from being touched by others - his belief was that he was made of glass and that if anyone touched him, he would shatter!  Most of us will not have limiting beliefs quite that strange, and most of us will not act quite as erratically as King Charles - who even gave his country away to the King of England!  But we do all have limiting beliefs, and some of those beliefs will be highly debilitating.

A limiting belief is any belief which stops you achieving something you would like to achieve.  This is often, but not always, because you do not believe it is possible for you to achieve it right now.  Sometimes it is a belief that what you want is in some way sinful.  It may be a belief that even though you really want to achieve it, you will be unhappy if you do.  Perhaps because deep inside you are not sure it is right for you.

As you will see, there can be many different kinds of limiting belief.  The best way to deal with some of those beliefs is to take some time to review very carefully what you really do want to achieve.  As I have said many times before, look deep inside and make sure your desire is fully aligned with your inner values.  If it is not, then you will always be struggling against yourself when you try to reach that goal.  Something has to change before you can move forward.  Either your inner values must change or your goal must change.  For more help on aligning your goals with your inner values read my article on Alignment here.

Probably one of the most common limiting beliefs is that your goal is impossible to achieve.  Impossible for you.  Impossible at this time.  Perhaps even impossible for anyone, ever.

Nothing is impossible.  What seems to make it impossible is your limiting belief, or even a whole series of limiting beliefs which are all conspiring against you.  Absolutely anything is possible if you truly believe you can achieve it.  In fact, I would go even further.  My belief is that as long as you are determined to deal with your limiting beliefs you have ALREADY achieved your goal.  Read that again!  You have ALREADY achieved it.  That achievement is in the future, but the future is real, so you have really achieved your goal.  All you have to do now is to allow that future achievement to unfold in the present.

One way to unearth your limiting beliefs is to look out for a person inside you called Mr, Miss, or Mrs Yabut.  Yes, you have multiple personalities, and one of those personalities has the name "Yabut".  This is the person who, when you think about one of your goals, says "yah, but ..."!  What comes after "yah, but ..." is the key.  It is the objection you need to answer.

If you have ever had any sales training you have probably been taught to unearth and then answer objections.  If you don't have this skill it is very difficult to sell anything.  In fact many sales trainers will tell you that an objection is a buying signal.  Your prospective buyer is telling you that he or she wants to buy from you but first you need to help them remove this obstacle.  Give them the help they need to remove that obstacle and you have the sale.  In other words, find the "Yabut", answer it, and then you can assume the sale is made.

It is exactly the same when you are "selling" to yourself.  Find the "Yabut", answer it, and then move on with the certainty that you will now achieve your goal.

Just to give you some encouragement, here are some "Yabuts" that others have answered and moved on to achieve their goals.

Shania Twain was born into poverty.  In her childhood, she and her brother and sisters often went hungry.  From the age of 8 she had to work to help earn enough money for her family to survive.  Shania is now one of the most successful country singers of all time, with a net worth estimated at the time of writing as around $350 million.

Howard Schultz was also born into poverty, and nobody in his family had ever been to college.  Perhaps you have never heard of Howard Schultz.  But I am sure you have heard of Starbucks.  It was Howard Schultz who catapulted Starbucks from a single coffee shop into a worldwide chain that, when I last checked, had nearly 24,000 branches.

Another great man born into poverty was Andrew Carnegie, the steel magnate and philanthropist who gave away around $350 Million to charity in the last 18 years of his life.  In today's terms that is over $78 Billion.

Have you heard of Steve Jobs?  I am sure you have - the co-founder of Apple Computers.  Steve had a lot of problems at school.  His parents were not well-off, and when he realized how much college was costing them and how little they could afford it, he dropped out of college to save them the money.  So here you have it - a family background of financial difficulty, and an educational dropout.  Despite this background, and despite many other challenges after he co-founded Apple Computers, Steve Jobs realized his dream and completely revolutionised the computer industry.  In 2010 he was worth over $8 Billion!

J K Rowling struggled as a single mother after a failed marriage, living on state benefits. Her first draft of "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" was rejected by publishers 12 times, before the 8 year old daughter of the chairman of the Bloomsbury publishing house read the first chapter and demanded to see the next chapter!  Bloomsbury took her on, but also told her she should get a "proper" job, as she had little chance of making any money as an author of children's books.  As I am sure you know, J K Rowling has made a fortune from the Harry Potter series and is now a billionaire.  She has also set up a charitable trust with an annual budget of over £5 Million to combat poverty and social inequality, which are two of her major passions.

There are plenty of other examples of individuals who are now very famous for what they have achieved but who overcame enormous obstacles to get there.  How about Michael Jordan, the basketball star?  He didn't even manage to get into his high school basketball team, and today he reminds us that the only reason he is successful is because he has failed so many times, having lost over 300 games!

Or how about overcoming obstacles that occur while you are already living your dream and that threaten to take that dream away from you.  Perhaps one of the best examples of someone who overcame in those circumstances is Ludwig Van Beethoven.  In his late 20's he started to develop hearing problems, compounded by severe tinnitus (a condition in which you continuously hear sounds that are not actually there).  This is a difficulty in many careers, but would seem an insurmountable problem for a professional musician!  Imagine having your concentration on creating a symphony interrupted by continuous noise!  And then being unable to play and hear the passages you want to include in your masterpiece!  These are the obstacles Beethoven faced.  They were pretty solid and apparently insurmountable obstacles, but they did not create for Beethoven the limiting beliefs they would have created in almost any other musician.  He was very frustrated by them, but that did not stop him - he simply carried on regardless!  When he wrote his magnificent 9th Symphony, which contains the "Ode to Joy" that is now the official anthem of the European Union, Beethoven was completely deaf.

Find your limiting beliefs.  Recognize that nothing can limit you unless you allow it to do so.  Then go on to achieve your goals, whatever they may be!  But don't stop there - also recognize that no matter how many limiting beliefs you have unearthed and destroyed, there will always be more under the surface.  Keep on rooting them out and keep on achieving goal after goal!

Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Dream the Impossible

Every morning while I do my online work I can see a poster my sister gave me for Christmas, which now has pride of place above my computer desk.  It reads:

"Dream the Impossible.  Seek the Unknown.  Achieve Greatness."

To me, that is a great part of what life is all about.  We are not just here to be here - we are here to achieve.

For each of us, that dream will be very different.  But whatever that dream means for you, dream it - and achieve it!

You may sometimes give up hope that you can ever achieve it.  When you apply logic to your dream it really seems impossible, so why try?  But this world is filled with people who have achieved the impossible.  It doesn't matter that it seems impossible to you now - if it really is your dream, then go out and fight for it!

As Joe Darion and Mitch Leigh said in their beautiful song, composed for the Broadway musical, "Man of La Mancha", if you are true to your quest you really can make this world a better place!


To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest, to follow that star
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far
To be willing to give when there's no more to give
To be willing to die so that honor and justice may live

And I know if I'll only be true to this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm when I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star

Thursday, 1 August 2013

How to Achieve the Impossible

by

Alex Gunn

Now, this might sound like a rather extravagant claim. To be more accurate, a completely extravagant claim, but I promise that at the very least this will be useful information, and at best it will help you change your life and achieve the impossible.

Firstly let me ask you two questions. Do you believe that when you really, really make up your mind to do something you do it? Do you also believe that when you haven't really made up your mind, when your heart's not really in it, things don't work out? I would go one step further and say that most things we fail to achieve is purely because our heart is not really in it.

Think back over all the things you have managed to achieve in life and I bet that all of them were things that you really, really wanted; getting married, (getting divorced), passing exams, your driving test, having children, buying your house, getting your job. All of these things have one thing in common...you really wanted to make them happen.

Now think of all the things you have so far failed at; quitting smoking, cutting down on drinking, losing weight, becoming a millionaire, eating less junk food, living on a private Mediterranean island in a huge white villa with a swimming pool in the shape of a dove...or whatever. I bet you this second list, as desirable as it all might be, do not occupy as much time in your "top three important things in my life" list. And this, in a nutshell, is the problem.

So how do we bump all these things in our second list up to the first list? Believe it or not, it's quite straight forward.

I really began to get interested in what has now become known as Motivational Psychology twenty-two years ago while working as a psycho-therapist in a specialist clinic for people with alcohol problems. Why did some people seem to achieve the impossible and others, often returning home to more supportive environments, did not.

To begin the process of bumping things up to our first list,(the list of things that we achieve) we have to start, what is called in motivational psychology terms "increasing importance". This has been a special interest of mine for many years, probably because I have heard so many people, rather depressingly say "you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink"...oh yes you can.

Firstly target any one item on your second list (the "failed at so far" list) and give yourself a score out of ten of how important it really is to you. Not how important you would like it to be, but how important it really is, with ten being the most important thing in your world right now and zero being gloriously unimportant. Be honest.

Once you have got that number in your head think about why you have given yourself that number. Why is it as high as it is? What would help to increase your number by just one or two digits, or maybe more? Don't give yourself an easy time, ask your self these difficult questions and give yourself some honest answers.

The second thing to start doing is to identify what you are telling yourself about whatever it is you are thinking of and wheedle out all the self sabotaging statements. Why are you telling yourself that you can't stop smoking, or eat more healthily? There is more and more research piling up that suggests that the only thing stopping yourself achieving whatever it is you want is what you are telling yourself. It is summed up in a really useful quote coined by the psychologist Daryl Bem "we learn what we believe as we hear ourselves speak". So start speaking more positively, it will make a difference.

Now hopefully some of this information has been useful for you and I hope even life changing. Who knows, in a year from today you might be toddling out onto your verandah for a well earned swim in your own dove shaped pool.


About the Author


Alex Gunn invites you to find out how real people are making real changes in their lives at http://thelifechangepeople.com/read-my-story/153-elizabeths-story

Learn five important steps to changing your life http://thelifechangepeople.com/news-and-reviews/news/81-how-can-i-change-my-life