Swinging on a Star

One day in either late 1943 or early 1944 (can any reader help me here and fill in the gap?) one of the sons of the legendary Bing Crosby complained he did not want to go to school but wanted to stay home and play instead.  Bing replied "If you don't go to school you might grow up to be a mule.  Do you wanna do that?"  Song writer Jimmy Van Heusen was there, and thought this could be the beginning of a great song, so he took the idea to lyricist Johnny Burke.  Together they wrote the song "Swinging on a Star" for the movie "Going My Way". The song was released in February 1944 and became one of Bing Crosby's greatest hits.

Why am I writing about a Bing Crosby song in a blog on personal development?  At the end of this article I have reproduced the full lyrics and have also included a video of Bing singing this song in "Going My Way".  Read the lyrics carefully and thoughtfully (ignoring the insults to some lovely animals!) and I think you will see exactly why!

This song may have originally been aimed at children not wanting to go to school, and the lesson there still applies (my younger readers take note!).  But the lesson is actually very much wider.

Where do you really want to be in life?  Are you aiming at the stars or settling for something far more mundane?  If the latter, why?  If the former, what are you doing right now to get closer to your dream?

This is not simply about material success, although it applies equally here of course.  What "aiming for the stars" really means is a very personal thing.  It may simply mean becoming a much more loving and caring person.  Making a real difference in life.  But whatever it means to you, take inspiration now from this song and start doing something to make your dream a reality.  You can do it!



"Would you like to swing on a star,
carry moonbeams home in a jar,
and be better off than you are,
or would you rather be a mule?

A mule is an animal with long funny ears.
He kicks up at anything he hears.
His back is brawny but his brain is weak.
He's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak,
and by the way if you hate to go to school
you may grow up to be a mule.

Oh would you like to swing on a star,
carry moonbeams home in a jar,
and be better off than you are,
or would you rather be a pig?

A pig is an animal with dirt on his face;
his shoes are a terrible disgrace.
He has no manners when he eats his food.
He's fat and lazy and extremely rude.
But if you don't care a feather or a fig
you may grow up to be a pig.

Oh would you like to swing on a star,
carry moonbeams home in a jar,
and be better off than you are,
or would you rather be a pig?

A fish won't do anything but swim in a brook.
He can't write his name or read a book.
To fool the people is his only thought
and though he's slippery he still gets caught;
but if then that sort of life is what you wish
you may grow up to be a fish.
A new kind of jumped up slippery fish!

And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo;
everyday you see quite a few.
So you see it's all up to you,
you could be better than you are
you could be swinging on a star."

Self Esteem

In my humble opinion Jim Rohn, who died at the end of 2009, was one of the world's greatest teachers of success principles.  In this video he expounds on the benefits of what he terms "intelligent self interest".  Doing things that others may think silly, but that increase your self esteem.  Put this into practice and you will be a better person:



If you would like to have Jim Rohn as your mentor, you can, even though he is no longer with us.  Subscribe now to his "One Year Success Plan".

Stop Multi-tasking

STOP Multi-tasking Madness with Mind Chi!

by Vanda North - Founder of "Mind Chi" (www.mindchi.com)

Do YOU multi-task?

The pressure is ON to do so, people proudly wear their ‘I’m a multi-tasker’ badge. The trouble is that on the other side of that badge it says ‘And I do NOTHING well’!

That is a provocative statement and done to remind you that your brain canNOT do two things in the same band width at the same time – one or the other will suffer. Have you ever been speaking to someone on the phone and  know that they are doing their emails at the same time? Yes, you do know! And you also know that they are only paying partial attention to what you are saying, which is actually rude. Better to say ‘I just have a few minutes, how can I help you?’ And then concentrate afterwards on the email, so you don’t push send before you have double checked it.

It IS possible to do several tasks at the same time that operate in different parts of your brain, so cooking a dish that you know well while talking on the phone are ok – as long as you don’t need to concentrate.

Multi-tasking is the source of that constant stressed feeling, it is what tires you so, it doubles the pressure on you, whilst diminishing your effectiveness.

You also miss out on the beautiful feeling of concentrating on just one thing – the joy of losing yourself in an activity – of truly being ‘in the flow’. These are the moments that re-fuel your brain, stimulate your creativity, energise you and make you feel life and work are worthwhile. Further, you will be quite amazed at what you can achieve in even a 15 minute time of uninterrupted thought, better than in a whole day sometimes.

So fight back! Take care of your brain, let it work well for you and enjoy the benefits.

Embrace Life

56 Reasons to Fiercely Embrace Life

by: Anne - Sophie Reinhardt

Life is grand, full of magic, hope and possibility.

However, sometimes it’s hard to see how lucky and fortunate we are to be here. We get so caught up in our daily stresses that we completely forget how awe-inspiring and miraculous living really is. We go through the motions, get in a rut and are busy putting out one fire after the next in an attempt to keep our lives in balance.

Yet, drama happens all the time.

Our projects don’t work out, our businesses aren’t going the way we had hoped for, our relationships experience troubles, the economy is bad, politicians let us down and life is just not the way it’s supposed to be.

It’s easy then to get sucked into a spiral of self-doubt and weariness. It’s easy to loose hope, feel listless and ready to just give up.

Speaking from experience, I know how destructive these feelings can be and how easily they overshadow your entire world. But if you take a moment to breathe, open your eyes and see, just see, all the marvels of this world, it’s hard not to be speechless, feel grateful and happy to be alive.

Since I know I’m not the only one who sometimes lacks inspiration, I created the following list of reasons to love being alive, living on this beautiful planet and sharing these times with so many incredible fellows.

Ready? Let’s go.

1. The roar of the ocean on a windy day.

2. Receiving help in unexpected ways.

3. The wistful longings of a heart in love

4. Hearing my grandfather express his undying love for my grandma (OK, that’s a very personal one, but I couldn’t not mention it).

5. Hearing the soulful sounds of music that go straight to your heart.

6. Experiencing the beating of your heart after a long, hard workout.

7. The touch of your mom lovingly going through your hair.

8. The belly-laughter experienced when you’re with great friends.

9. The promises of a new day when watching the sunrise.

10. Witnessing the genius of writers who work magic with their words.

11. The excitement in the eyes of your favorite pet when coming home.

12. The sheer joy of seeing friends long lost.

13. Seeing a loved one succeed in life.

14. A blue blue sky.

15. The work of photographers that portray a model’s soul.

16. Tasting the sweet deliciousness of chocolate.

17. The wonderful aroma of coffee beans.

18. The safety of being wrapped into your loved one’s arms.

19. The freedom of knowing that you’re worthy of love.

20. The delight in sharing your wisdom and knowledge with others.

21. The pleasure of feeling the sun on your face or the wind in your hair.

22. Feeling the melancholy that comes with winter deep in your heart.

23. Seeing the beauty of white, white snow glistering in the sun.

24. Experiencing the warmth streaming through your body when drinking a hot chocolate on an ice-cold day.

25. The wonder of exploring new places and worlds.

26. The look up in a star-filled sky that puts life and the world into perspective.

27. Seeing the innocence in a toddler’s eyes.

28. Experiencing the trust of true friends.

29. The awe-inspiring performances of world-class athletes.

30. Listening to the beautiful sounds of Mozart’s genius.

31. The growth as a person on every single day.

32. The beautiful smell of the air after heavy rain.

33. The powerful realization that your potential is limitless.

34. The thrill of speaking foreign languages.

35. Tuning into the miraculous workings of our bodies.

36. The luscious green of the rain forest.

37. Falling into your bed after a long and hard day.

38. The refreshing feeling of putting on freshly washed clothes.

39. Experiencing the humbling feeling of seeing friends have your back

40. The empowerment of getting yourself out of a mess.

41. Spending a day in bed with breakfast and a captivating book.

42. The pride of holding an Asana for the very first time.

43. The first signs of spring after a long, cold winter.

44. The first signs of fall after a hot summer.

45. The breathtaking view out of an airplane’s window.

46. Witnessing two people promising to stay together all of their lives.

47. Finally figuring out what you’re truly hungry for.

48. Giving to others and experiencing their joy.

49. Seeing ordinary people change the course of humanity.

50. Listening to the wealth of wisdom shared by your grandparents.

51. A cold shower on a brutally hot summer day.

52. The overwhelming feeling of seeing the Grand Canyon for the very first time.

53. The grace of ballet dancers floating across the stage.

54. Falling in love with your glorious body.

55. Coming home.

56. The realization that life, after all, is immeasurably valuable.

What are your reasons to lovingly and fiercely embrace life?

Book Review

Books on How to be Successful

Very many of my readers orginally found this blog because they were looking for ways to be more successful.  For my November Book Review I have therefore focused entirely on books that are aimed at exactly that - how to become more successful.  And I believe the authors I have chosen are amongst the most qualified to help us all achieve this.

Click on the title of any book that particularly interests you and you can buy it right away from Amazon.

For my UK readers, or anyone who wants to pay in pounds sterling or have the booked shipped from the UK, click on the "UK Link" right at the end of each review.

The Success Principles(TM): How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be

by

Jack Canfield & Janet Switzer

"Jack Canfield and Janet Switzer have created something different in the self-help literature - a compendium of the principles that have stood the test of time.  The book is organized in several sections to make these references easier to follow.  The authors also provide many free tools to help you succeed.  If you have already read much of the success literature, you probably think this book isn't for you. I beg to differ. Seeing so many good ideas in one book will help you weld together good habits and actions in even more constructive ways."

-    Donald Mitchell


"If you want to be truly succesful in this life, you need to read this book. It gives you the proper information to succeed. It touches on principles such as time management, money, goal-setting, creating successful relationships and so on. If you follow these principles you will literally transform yourself into a success.
This book gives you valuable information on finances. Money isn't everything, but it can make your life a little easier and this book will show you how to earn more, spend less, and give away while still being prosper.
If you apply these principles to your life, you will see and feel changes for the better. I have applied the recommendations on managing my time and I already see the benefits of a more successful life. I highly recommend this book to anyone that wants to transform their life into a success."

-    Rob P


"As an Author, Coach, and Motivational Speaker I read a lot of books about people, their motivations, and their relationships. The Success Principles is an outstanding example of an educational, inspirational, and motivational guide to success. I love the stories of the people Jack and Janet chose to interview to model the principles. The Success Principles is an excellent book and I give it an A+.
"

-    Kevin A. Decker

If you want to get a flavour of Jack Canfield's message without buying this book you can tell his organisation you would like a free coaching call (not one to one, I should add!) and you can listen to him for 70 minutes without spending a dime!  Click here to book this free coaching call.

UK Link

The Law of Success: The Master Wealth-Builder's Complete and Original Lesson Plan forAchieving Your Dreams

by

Napoleon Hill

This may be a very old text on the subject, but it is as relevant today as it was when Napoleon Hill wrote it, and it forms the basis of many of the success systems marketed today.  Here is your chance to get it from the horse's mouth!


"By applying many of the 16 fundamentals of the Law of Success philosophy we have built a great chain of successful stores. I presume it would be no exaggeration of fact if I said that the Woolworth Building might properly be called a monument to the soundness of these principles."

-    F. W. Woolworth (Yes, THE Woolworth!)


"I have now had an opportunity to finish reading your Law of Success textbooks, and I wish to express my appreciation of the splendid work you have done in this philosophy. It would be helpful if every politician in the country would assimilate and apply the 16 principles upon which the Law of Success is based. It contains some very fine material which every leader in every walk of life should understand."

-    William H. Taft, Former President of the United States and Chief Justice


The above two reviews were, of course, written many decades ago.  But the next one was written in September 2012:


"This is one of those wonderful life-companion books that will be forever at my bedside table.

It is beautifully bound and typeset, and knowing that the words are direct from from the pen of Napoleon Hill gives it an uncanny presence. But it is the content that is the real kicker here. There is no "secret" here, this is the success teachings from which all others stem, written in superbly articulated, engaging and vivid language that feels more like the memory of a recent personal conversation than lessons of life. Don't wait, get it!"

-    W Sitte (Brisbane, Australia)

UK Link

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams

by

Deepak Chopra

"No matter your station in life, this quick-but-poignant read should be considered required reading for all. I make a point of re-reading it almost weekly, and have bought copies for my grandkids to do the same. Regardless of your particular belief system, the message is generic, pure, and enlightening. Great job as usual, Dr. C!"

-    Harold Smith (Bedford, Texas, US)


"I used to not read Chopra, his belief system in my mind was opposed to mind (closed minded, I know).

Then I heard him interviewed by Anthony Robbins and his medical discussion along with spirit blew me away.

I have shared with 1000s of people one thing he said, "We have 60,000 thoughts a day." He went on to share that many people have 95% of the same thoughts the next day.

The statement revolutionized my life and thinking.

Then I read "Do You" by Russell Simmons and he said he gives The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success to all his staff. So I picked it up; and am glad I did.

His discussion about state of mind, gratitude and giving is filled with wisdom. Here is where I appreciate Chopra, he believes people are meant to fulfill their dreams. He believes God has placed us here to be happy, and that there is enough for everyone. I now have several of his books.

Turns out he and I are not so far about in what we believe. "

-    Tobin B. Crenshaw (Canton, OH)


"Love love love this book! Just what I needed.... I recommend this to all. I feel more at peace. It is as though I have connected myself to what I have always known. Read it!"

-    E Jones

UK Link

Your Philosophy

Jim Rohn: Your Philosophy

an original article by Jim Rohn

"Your personal philosophy is the greatest determining factor in how your life works out."

If you want to know how an Idaho farm boy can make it to Beverly Hills, then take the journey toward achievement by discovering the cornerstone for total and lasting success: building your philosophy. I was broke at 25 and a millionaire by 31. At 25, there was nothing in my bank and I needed to provide for my family. As I was considering what to do, I met John Earl Shoaff, a wealthy entrepreneur who became my employer for the next five years. He revolutionized my life and taught me the importance of developing my philosophy. It isn’t a complex or mystical process, but a principle that can make a difference in how your life turns out. As we go forward on this journey toward success, remember you need to keep looking for those few things that make the most difference in your life, and spend most of your time doing those things. Effective time management is the best-kept secret of the rich. While there are five major puzzle pieces for success, without the first — developing a sound philosophy — the other pieces are of little value.

 

Set Your Sail

The winds of circumstance blow upon all of us. We all have experienced the winds of disappointment, despair and heartbreak, but why do people arrive at such different places at the end of the journey? Have we not all sailed upon the same sea?

The major difference isn’t circumstance; it’s the set of the sail, or the way we think.

In spite of our best efforts, we have moments when things just seem to fall apart. The rich and the poor have the same challenges that can lead to financial ruin and personal despair. It isn’t what happens to us that determines the quality of our lives, it’s what we do after we’ve set our sails and the wind decides to change direction. When winds change, we must change. We have to struggle to our feet and reset the sail in a manner that will steer us in the direction of our own deliberate choice. The set of the sail, how we think and how we respond, has a far greater capacity to destroy our lives than any challenges we face. How quickly we respond to adversity is far more important than adversity itself. The great challenge of life is to control the process of our own thinking.

Learn From Success and Failure

The best way to establish a new and powerful personal philosophy is to objectively review the conclusions you’ve drawn about life. Any conclusion you’ve drawn that isn’t working for you could be working against you. The best way to counteract misinformation and wrong data is to input new and accurate information. Gather information from personal experience. If you’re doing something wrong, evaluate what you did wrong and change things.

Seek an objective, outside voice about how you are and what you’re doing. An objective opinion from someone you respect can lead you to early and accurate information about your decision-making process. Listen to the freshness of an outside voice — someone who can see the forest and isn’t lost in the trees.

Observe the successes and failures of other people. If people who failed were to give seminars, it would be helpful. You could see how people mess up and you wouldn’t do what they did. You could find out what poor people read and decide not to read it. Past failures and errors prompt us to amend current conduct so we don’t replicate the past.

Study from people who do well. Each of us should be in a constant search for people we admire and respect and whose behavior we can model. It’s far better to deliberately choose the people we will permit to influence us than to allow bad influences to affect us without our conscious choice.

 

Read All You Can

People from all walks of life who’ve had some of the most incredible experiences have taken the time to write of these experiences so we can be instructed and amend our philosophies. There are two books you need to read to build your philosophy: Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill and The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason. The contributions of other people enable us to reset our sails based upon their experiences. Books offer treasures of information that can change our lives, fortunes, relationships, health and careers for the better.

 

Keep a Journal

A journal is a gathering place for all of our observations and discoveries about life. It’s our own handwritten transcript that captures our experiences, ideas, desires and conclusions about the people and the events that have touched our lives. The past, when properly documented, is one of the best guides for making good decisions. The very act of writing about our lives helps us think more objectively about our actions. Writing tends to slow down the flow of information and gives us time to analyze and ponder the experience. The intense scrutiny of journal writing can enable us to make refinements in our philosophy that are truly life-changing.

Jot down what you learn and be a buyer of empty books. It’s the small disciplines that lead to great accomplishments.

 

Observe and Listen

Pay attention during your day, watch what’s going on and become a good listener. Find a voice of value and stay for a while. Surround yourself with people you respect and admire. Find people whose personalities and achievements stimulate, fascinate and inspire you, and then strive to assimilate their best qualities. This is called the skill of selecting. Don’t waste your time on the silly and the shallow.

One of the major reasons people don’t do well is because they keep trying to get through the day while a more worthy cause is to get from the day. We must become sensitive enough to observe and ponder what is happening around us. Be alert. Be awake. Often the most extraordinary opportunities are hidden among seemingly insignificant events.

Be a good listener. With so many voices vying for your attention, you need to develop the skill of selective listening and only dial into the radio station that appeals to you. If a voice is not leading to the achievement of your goals, exercise caution in how long you listen.

 

Be Disciplined

Every day is filled with dozens of personal crossroads, moments when we’re called upon to make a decision regarding minor as well as major questions. These decisions chart a path to a future destination. With careful mental preparation, we can make wise choices. The development of a sound philosophy prepares us for making sound decisions. When we eat healthy foods, we experience positive results in a short time. When we start exercising, we feel a new vitality almost immediately. When we begin reading, we experience a growing awareness and a new level of self-confidence. New disciplines practiced daily will produce exciting results. The magic of new disciplines causes us to amend our thinking.

 

Don’t Neglect

Neglect is the major reason people don’t have what they want. If you don’t take care of things in your life, neglect becomes a disease. If you neglect to do good things with your money, you probably neglect to do good things with your time. If you don’t know what’s going on with your health or your bank account, you could be at risk. Set up new disciplines to change your life. Don’t neglect.

Everything is within our reach if we will read books, use journals, practice the disciplines and wage a new and vigorous battle against neglect.

Build your philosophy. Commit yourself to a new journey and say, “I’m going to change my life.” Once you do, you’ll never look back.

Peak Performance Rules

Would you like to know how to achieve peak performance, and be successful in whatever you are trying to achieve in life?  If so, this short video by Bryan Tracy should give you some great ideas:



Brian Tracy offers many book and cd programs on personal development and success.  One very popular and helpful cd course is his "Action Strategies for Personal Achievement", which offers an ideal way for listeners to achieve their personal goals.  Click here and Brian will tell you more about this program.

Listening to Your Inner Voice

Five Pathways to Listening to Your Inner Voice

by Claudette Rowley, Coach, Consultant and Author

Is your life out of sync with your priorities?
Do you feel like you're a hamster running on a wheel?
Have you forgotten who you are?
 

If you answered YES to any of these questions, read on. Learn to listen to your inner voice - the essence of who you are - by following these five steps:

1.  Check in with your heart.

Social conditioning teaches us to be logical and "use our heads". When you only use your head, your experience of yourself and the world is limited. You miss out on the vital information the rest of your body, heart and soul is giving you.

Benefits: The same neurological tissue found in the brain is found in the heart. The heart is a second "brain" and our emotional center. Listening to your head and your heart is crucial to good decision-making about your life, your business and your relationships.

New Focus: Put your hand over your heart and focus there - what is it telling you?

2.  Connect with your body.

Your body gives you a tremendous amount of useful information that you may not be conscious of. For example, when your mother-in-law visits, does your stomach tie up in knots? When your boss yells at you, do your shoulders turn into stone? When you feel passionate and alive, does your chest feel warm and open? When we ignore the body's message, we lose out on valuable information designed to let us what works for us and what doesn't.

Benefits: For many people, fear manifests as a tightness in their chest. This is valuable information, especially if you aren't aware that you are afraid. Your body alerts you to what makes feels passionate and what doesn't. The body is a fount of wisdom designed to tell you when you're on the right path and when you aren't.

New Focus: Notice the messages your body is giving you right now. Try a self-massage to find areas in your back, neck or shoulders that are tense or knotted. What other areas of your body feel tight? Which ones feel relaxed and loose? Use this information as another key to listening to your inner wisdom.

3.  Listen to your intuition.

Intuition is simply knowing something without knowing exactly how you know it. Connect back to a time that you had a "gut feeling" about something - the job that you knew you shouldn't take, even though it looked good on the surface or the relationship that just felt right for you. That's your intuition talking to you.

Benefits: Gut feelings are a wealth of information. Remember, your intuition is never wrong, although your interpretation of it may be incorrect. When your intuition calls to you, trust it. Practice makes perfect when it comes to using your intuition effectively.

New Focus: The next time you need to make a decision, check in with your intuition. Experiment with trusting it. When you follow your intuition, what happens? When you hear it and disregard it, what's the outcome?

4.  Notice your self-saboteur*.

Each of us has our very own special saboteur. The saboteur is the voice in your head that says, "You are not good enough." "Who do you think you are?" "If you take this new job, everyone will find out what a fraud you are." The saboteur's job is to "protect" you from taking risks and making changes.

Benefits: Learn to distinguish between your voice and the saboteur's mumbo-jumbo. Notice how the inner critic drives the choices and decisions you make.

New Focus: Simply notice the negative voices playing in your head. Notice the times when they crop up. Recognize that the voices aren't you and they aren't true. Learning to separate your own voice from that of the saboteur is a powerful and life changing tool.

5.  Identify limiting beliefs.

We each carry a set of beliefs that we live by. Certain beliefs you hold consciously, while others are mainly unconscious. Beliefs develop out of past experiences and our interpretations of those experiences. Some of the conscious and unconscious beliefs that you develop limit your ability to grow and move forward in your life. For example: One of your goals as a successful entrepreneur is to make a lot of money. You discover that you have a belief - a limiting one - that it's wrong to make a lot of money. Until you begin to alter your beliefs about money, it will be more difficult for you to achieve that financial success you desire.

Benefits: Learning to notice a limiting belief allows you to become conscious of it, and then change it. Releasing a belief that limits you puts you back in the driver's seat of your life. You, rather than an old belief, make the choices that are right for you and allow you to fulfill your potential
 

Ways to spot a limiting belief:

• You tell yourself that you only have one or two choices in a situation, or "no choice" at all.
• Your inner critic expresses his or her opinion. The inner critic's opinion is generally based in a limiting belief.
• A decision may appear to be black and white to you, or an either/or situation.
• You have decided that "this is the way the world is."
• You make a decision based on fear.
• You feel constricted and notice that you lack clarity about a specific situation.

New Focus: How does a particular belief allow you to attract what you really want in life? How does it prevent you from attaining your goals? When you reach an obstacle in your path, make sure that it's not an old belief in your way.

 

When important questions like "What do I want?" or "What's the right choice for me to make?" surface in your mind, consult your inner voice. You possess the answers you need to live a life that feels successful and fulfilling. Listening to your inner voice can lead you on a path that feels deeply satisfying. Your business and personal lives will flourish with this new level of trust in yourself.


*Based on the work of Richard Carson in Taming Your Gremlin.

Book Review

Personal Development Book Review

Recently I published an article on the importance of listening to what your life is telling you and following the path that inner voice suggests.  So my book review this month focuses on three books that go into this topic a little more deeply.

Click on the title of any book that particularly interests you and you can buy it right away from Amazon.

For my UK readers, or anyone who wants to pay in pounds sterling or have the booked shipped from the UK, click on the "UK Link" right at the end of each review.

Following the Path: The Search for a Life of Passion, Purpose, and Joy

by

Sister Joan Chittister

The author of this book is a Catholic nun.  But don't let that put you off if you are not a Christian.  This book is all about finding happiness by doing what your inner voice is telling you to do, whatever that may be.  Sister Joan does not preach her religion here, and even quotes from a Sufi mystic, although she is clearly devout and certainly not ashamed of her love of God.


"While this could easily be called an informal guide to what it takes to be happy, that would be too simple a description for such a wise book. As the popular author and lecturer Chittister notes, most of us seldom have the economic or social freedom to find that something that fulfills us. 'So how can we know what we’re meant to do with our lives?' That is the core question, and Chittister spends the bulk of the book sharing stories from those folk brave enough to change course, sometimes relatively late in their lives, while offering her own insight on the meanings of happiness and purpose. She has her own definition of happiness, of course ('Happiness,' she writes, 'comes from the inside'), as well as what it means to be successful; but the essence of the book concerns itself with the fundamental concept of call, that is, of discovering where we do—and do not—fit in. Essentially, Chittister’s slim volume deals with how to lead a meaningful life at any age (whether early adulthood, middle age, or later on); 'No one else can answer for us,' she observes, since finding our own way is a unique journey. Sure to be a modern classic of its genre."

-    June Sawyers


"Sister Joan provides a framework for charting a life that is deeply lived and deeply invested. By recognizing with gratitude the opportunities that show themselves to us, we can live lives that are incredibly fulfilling and also make a great contribution to the world. But it means taking risks!"

-    James Andrews


"An excellent book to review your life and encourage you to be assured that you are following the right path, and maybe consider areas in your life to improve or completely change."

-    Pat

UK Link

Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life

by

Thich Nhat Hanh

"This book was written by a Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk. But don't let that fool you, this book is for everyone. The author doesn't try to convert you to his religion, the only Buddhist principles in this book go hand in hand with many Christian beliefs. The author shows how easy it is to live a fulfilling life in harmony with yourself and the world around you.

Read this book if you ever feel depressed or if you feel you are getting lost in the modern age. This book will not tell you who you are, but it will help to show you how you can discover what it is you really want and find happiness.

Thich Nan Haht was even nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by none other than Martin Luther King Jr.

Highly recommended."

-    W Fleming


"Peace is not external, so we do not need to chase it. Peace is already present but we have to get in touch with it. This is attained through mindfulness: living in the present moment, in the here and now. Thich Nhat Hanh, Zen master and spiritual leader teaches mindfulness through conscious breathing and smiling. Connecting the body and mind, to find peace and happiness even in the most unlikely situations. Breathing and smiling! Is that it? You may be as skeptical as I was before practicing this exercise: breathe in, while reciting 'breathing in I calm my body' then breathe out while smiling and reciting 'breathing out I smile' do this three times! This is a very easy yet very effective exercise, do this often enough, in any position at any time (sitting, lying, driving, walking, before you eat, before you wash the dishes, when you hear the phone ring....) and enjoy being calm, relaxed and peaceful.

This book is written clearly and beautifully. Full of inspiring stories and parables, meditations and practices, reflecting the author's wisdom and experience. Terrific and extremely effective, will make you calm and happy just reading it, then breathe, smile and be peaceful!"

-    W. Rashed (Jabriya, KUWAIT)


"I love this book. It's short, easy and delightful to read, and full of practical wisdom. More so than any other Zen Master whose writings I have encountered, Thich Nhat Hanh knows how to teach Westerners in a way that is straightforward, practical for everyday problems, and fun to read (rather than an intellectual puzzle). I cannot recommend this book more highly. A wealth of wisdom presented in a unique and immensely practical way. Thich Nhat Hanh's writing embodies peace and mindfulness at their highest - one could almost learn all he has to teach simply by reading his writings for their style and attitude, without hardly paying attention to the message or content per se.

Please do yourself a favor: buy this book, read it at your leisure, reread it if you feel so compelled, keep it on a shelf or pass it on as a gift. I almost never review books, but when I finished this one I knew I had to recommend it, and I do so with no reservation whatsoever."

-    Marcus Macauley

UK Link

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

by

Brene Brown

"I deeply trust Brené Brown - her research, her intelligence, her integrity, and her personhood. So when she definitively lands on the one most important value we can cultivate for professional success, relationship health, parental joy, and courageous, passionate living...well, I sit up and take notice . . . even when that one most critical value turns out to be the risky act of being vulnerable. She dared greatly to write this book, and you will benefit greatly to read it and to put its razor-sharp wisdom into action in your own life and work."

-    Elizabeth Lesser, Cofounder, Omega Institute, author of Broken Open


"One of the tragic ironies of modern life is that so many people feel isolated from each other by the very feelings they have in common: including a fear of failure and a sense of not being enough. Brené Brown shines a bright light into these dark recesses of human emotion and reveals how these feelings can gnaw at fulfillment in education, at work and in the home. She shows too how they can be transformed to help us live more wholehearted lives of courage, engagement and purpose. Brené Brown writes as she speaks, with wisdom, wit, candor and a deep sense of humanity. If you're a student, teacher, parent, employer, employee or just alive and wanting to live more fully, you should read this book. I double dare you."

-    Sir Ken Robinson


"I am a recovering perfectionist. I have learned, since a child, to receive validation and my worth based on how others perceived me. I've always made excuses for it throughout my life, but Brene Brown slapped me in the face with this book and makes me want to be a more authentic and honest person. She gives you the understanding of how to develop your own self-worth and how important it is in order to live a beautiful life, and have beautiful relationships. She is inspiring because she struggles with the same thing, and that makes me feel understood. My favorite part of this book is how she defines so many of our emotions. This helps me understand mine and helps me walk my children through understanding their emotions. One of the greatest self-help books I've ever read!!!"

-    Holly (Brunswick, OH)

UK Link

Listening When Your Life Speaks

Listening When Your Life Speaks

 

Author:

Kate Swoboda

“Your life speaks. You have to learn to listen.” – Iyanla Vanzant

Just 15 years ago, if you had asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would have told you that I would be a professional musician.

This news would shock just about anyone that I know, today – but fifteen years ago, there was nothing in my life that indicated anything otherwise.

My entire life was music. I had gone to a performing arts high school where regular math, science and English classes were supplemented with courses in your major, and I was a music major. I played five instruments and participated in 5 different groups. Each year, I prepared solos or ensembles to take to district and state competitions.

After hours of practice time at school, it was not uncommon to come home and put in an additional 1-2 hours each night, plus a weekly private lesson. To afford a professional model instrument, I worked two jobs, 20-25 hours a week. For college, I had been accepted to a music school in Chicago, and fully intended to major in music and then go on to be a professional musician with freelance gigs, or a conductor, or to teach music.

There’s just this one catch: it didn’t happen.

I ended up not attending the music college that I had worked so hard to get in to. Instead, I attended a smaller college outside of Chicago that had no music program to speak of, telling myself that music would still be in my life because they had a small orchestra.

The orchestra was sub-par, and I dropped out after my first semester.

Yet: I don’t regret a thing.
 

 

What Are You Getting?

People can get really hung up on this question of “What am I supposed to do with my life?”

When coaching clients approach me with that question, I ask them to consider one that’s far more interesting: “What do you think you would ‘get’ out of knowing what you want to do with your life?”

Time and again, the answer comes back to “safety,” and when we dig around a bit with “safety,” we find that at the root of that is “control.”

Or at least the illusion of control, because control is always an illusion. Aside from our intention and where we place our attention, we really can’t control life.

If we acknowledge the root issue of trying to control something that is impossible to control, the entire house of cards starts to fall apart.

Whether we know our life path, or whether we don’t, we don’t have any control, either way.

I can say that if I had chosen to go to music school, I would have become a professional musician, but the truth is that there’s no way that I could know that. I could just as easily have ended up a programmer, a sommelier, or what I ended up as–a writer, which was what I said I wanted to be as early as the age of 2 or 3, and which is what I have ended up becoming.

Your Life Speaks

People talk of having a true calling that’s part of an innate nature, something you’re born with, and I can see how that feels true for them.

What I question is the Story that so many tell themselves about needing to know what their life purpose is, as if it’s transcribed somewhere in the world and the job is to try to find it.
I have an alternative view: your life purpose/path/vision is what you say it is. You define your life purpose in every moment, with every action, with every word, with every thought, with every belief.

If there is some purpose out there, awaiting you, and you want to find it, then inhabit your life, fully. If you commit to your life like crazy, the things that are intolerable to your spirit will rise up and make themselves known. Listen to your life when it speaks to you.

When that happens, the question put before you is: Will you practice the courage that it takes to actually take action?

Taking Action

When you start taking action and making choices, the world starts to move with you.

The illusion is that you have to know what you want to do, before you start making choices.

I ask you: had I stuck with being a musician, convinced that I “knew” my path and thus “must” follow it, how would I ever have created space in my life to become a writer?

What I see in hindsight, that beautiful 20/20 vision, are the benefits that came from being “all in” with whatever presented itself in my life. I was “all in” as a musician, until I was “all in” as a double-major in English and Sociology, and then I was “all in” as a writer when I got my Masters degree, and then I was “all in” as a professor of English, and then I was “all in” when I pursued my counseling training.

Perhaps right now you’re a mother of three; or a frustrated engineering student who isn’t sure she wants to continue; or a 48-year-old man who thought his career was set until the economy tanked and he was laid off.

The only time we get jostled by “not being on our life’s path” is when we insist that the reality before us is not part of our life’s path.

Music taught me discipline, majoring in Sociology got me curious about people, writing freed my personal story and continues to keep me fascinated by the stories people tell about their lives, and being a professor of English gave me organization and delegation skills that inform every single aspect of running my business.

Whatever paths you’ve walked have all contributed to being where you are here, right now, in this moment.

Consider the gifts that could lie ahead for you if you dropped the idea of a pre-determined path, entirely.

You don’t know where it will all lead–and this is the most beautiful part of being alive.

Increase your Income by 1000 percent

How would you like to increase your income by 1,000% in 10 years?  Not all at the end of a decade, either, but a steady build up year by year, month by month?

Or how would you like to gain the equivalent knowledge of a PhD in astrophysics every year?  Not actually in astrophysics, of course (unless you particularly want to be an astrophysicist!), but in any subject area whatsoever that appeals to you?  Maybe in subjects that specifically relate to the areas of personal development on which you are working right now?

Watch this short video by Bryan Tracy and you will learn exactly how he does this and how you can too.

Ignore the website address that irritatingly appears at the bottom of the screen though, as it is not related either to the topic or to Bryan Tracy and the site does not appear to exist now anyway!  But it certainly did not prevent me learning some very powerful yet simple secrets when I watched this amazing video clip!



If this presentation by Bryan Tracy has whet your appetite for more gems from Bryan, then take a look at this book by him, "Create Your Own Future", which will show you how to set goals, unlock your inborn creativity, and overcome any obstacle in your path - and so very much more besides!

Cranial Comeback

Boost your brain power in middle age

By Amy Anderson

As you age, your brain is more easily distracted and slower to retrieve information. It has trouble shutting out mental chatter and concentrating on the task at hand. That’s why you walk into a room to find the keys — that you’ve lost again — only to forget why you were there in the first place.

But a recent study called Midlife in the United States, or Midus, revealed that one of the most important elements in retaining memory and other cognitive skills over age 50 is a college degree. “Education seems to be an elixir that can bring us a healthy body and mind throughout adulthood and even a longer life,” says Margie E. Lachman, a psychologist at Brandeis University and a principal investigator for Midus.

Higher education slows the brain’s aging process by up to a decade, allowing people in their 50s to test in the range of less-educated people in their 40s. The more years of school someone has, the better he or she did on calculations, memory and reasoning tests. The study also revealed that higher education is associated with a longer life and a decreased risk of dementia.

But there were other similarities among those who scored the best on cognitive tests, including regular exercise, volunteering or belonging to organizations, being socially active and remaining calm in the face of stress.

Fortunately, the study found that people who regularly challenged their brains by reading, writing, attending lectures or working word puzzles did better on intelligence tests and even made up the difference between themselves and their more highly educated counterparts. “We have shown that those with less education may be able to compensate and look more like those who have higher education by adopting some of the common practices of the highly educated,” Lachman says.

In fact, regular mental challenges will actually alter your brain’s neural circuits, even as you age, making it more responsive. The earlier you start, the larger the impact, so keep reading and make a plan to get in a cognitive workout daily.

Book Review

Setting and achieving goals is perhaps one of the most important aspects of any self-development or success programme.  So for this month's review I have selected three books about goal setting and achieving.

The first is a Kindle book called "How to Set Goals".  A good starting point!  The others are "normal" books rather than Kindle versions.  The second takes you through the most important step once you have set your goal, and is called "Write It Down, Make It Happen".  Finally, a book focussed on ensuring you achieve your goals, called "Living in Your Top 1%".


Click on the title of any book that particularly interests you and you can buy it right away from Amazon.

How To Set Goals: Ultimate Goal Setting Guide to Having Your Best Year Ever

by

Craig Ballantyne

Here is what some readers of this Kindle edition thought about it:


"This is a quick read, yet a great one. I wish I had found it sooner.

Most goal setting books just tell you to aim high and the magic will happen. This doesn't. It tells you HOW AND WHY you'll achieve your goals and makes you think about ALL the areas of life. Some of them were difficult for me...I realized that a lot of my goals were one-dimensional and I was forgetting about setting goals outside one area.

The author also has some free videos at the end that make it interactive. Great stuff.

Now...onto achieving what I just wrote down."

-    JR


"I love this book. I am a big fan of Early To Rise, so I had to pick this up because anything by Craig Ballantyne is amazing. This book is in depth yet easy to read. I love the part about making SMART goals and also the importance of visualization. Craig provides great advice and actionable steps to achieve whatever goal you are striving for. I also picked up The Ultimate Fat Loss Secret which I love too! My main goal right now is fat loss and I believe this Goal setting book will help me to achieve my fat loss goals as well as any thing else I pursue. So thanks and I highly recommend this book to anyone that wants to reach their goals sooner rather than later. "

-    Susie Schmidt


"Really great book. I got the kindle version and read it on those many sleepless nights. Craig Ballantyne really knows goal setting. As a personal trainer and huge online business success, his latest acquisition is one of my favorite websites - ETR (Early To Rise), he is a man who walks his talk. No-nonsense, down to earth stuff. This book is literally a steal to PRIME members, and to the rest of us, it's still a steal at ninety-nine cents for a kindle edition. HIGHLY recommend. "

-    InfoFish

Write It Down, Make It Happen: Knowing What You Want And Getting It

by

Henriette Anne Klauser

"The reason I am giving this book five stars is that I followed it to the letter and made what I wanted to happen happen. I wanted to take a solo summer road trip from Florida to New England, stay up there for a few weeks, and visit DC and Atlanta on the way back. I was scared to do it and needed the financial means. This book motivated me to work an extra job, work extra hours at the two jobs I had, to make the arrangements, make it possible to take five weeks off, and psyched me up to actually GO. I had a BLAST. That trip will be a jewel in my heart for the rest of my life. I am married with two kids now, and won't be able to do anything like that again, so I am grateful to this book and to myself for the experience. It's been eleven years. I should redo it with a new overwhelming goal!"

-    Musical Mama


"I'm a medical-surgical nurse and at the same time a business woman. I manage my own online store and it's now even bigger where I'm unable to manage and balance everything. My nursing career is very stressful and every time I went home I'll just sleep for the rest of the day leaving some of my customers online waiting for me to check their pending orders. I finished reading read this book last month, I'm happy to say that this book is just what I need to balance everything in my life. I totally agree that we should write down our goals in order for us to achieve it. I started writing my goals right after I finished this book. I set goals for my career; I set ways on how to divide my time to achieve the success I wanted and guess what? It worked!

I realized that reading this type of books is definitely helpful. I was so happy with the results that I bought another book to inspire myself and be on track all the time. Here's another powerful book that may help you,by Martin Gover Leadership,Authority & Influence - Creating a Life of Value-knowing the top of the mountain isn't even halfway.  This book also recommends writing down your goals and to mentally commit to it. Now, I have a collection of these types of books and I can't wait to finish everything. My online store is earning more than I expected and my nursing career is blossoming at the same time! "

-    alone0615!


"This book was a gift from my mother on Christmas. After 6 months, I decided to pick it up and read it. It was as if it was calling me.
I am so glad I did. This book was addicting! It taught me so much, writing in a journal, positive outlook and tools to help stay focused. She uses real life experiences to show the way to getting what you want. This book was amazing and taught me so much, perfect timing for what I was feeling in my personal life and it truly helped guide me back to a positive outlook and set me free of my fears for new journeys in life. Again, I couldn't wait to read it every morning and write in my journal afterwards. I have referred this book to many of my clients. "

-    Desiree Ashby

Living in Your Top 1%: Nine Essential Rituals to Achieve Your Ultimate Life Goals

by

Alissa Finerman

"This book was given to me by my friend, Aisha, as a gift. Wow! I have read many, many self-development books and this is actually one of the BEST - well-organized, down-to-earth, good examples and phenomenal stories, and I feel like I can not only understand what to do and why, but also HOW to get into my own top 1% success zone. This book is truly phenomenal; I HIGHLY recommend it! I wish everyone great success in your lives and I'm sure this book can play a huge part in that!"

-    Rosemarie Goodman-Urszuy (BALTIMORE, MD, US)


"Alissa Finerman wastes no time in this instructional self-improvement book. Upfront she dedicates it to "Every person who has overcome or will soon overcome the word impossible" - this concise but powerful intro sets the tone for what is to come: a series of 1st hand and 2nd hand stories of triumph over some of life's difficulties (especially the difficulties we erect for ourselves), combined with a near recipe like set of principles and instructions (presented as 9 'rituals') on how you can move from where you really are in life to where you really want to be.

Unlike many tomes from self-help Authors, Finerman's book does not take a long and winding road toward instruction. The book is organized as a set of true stories of transformation: Each person's story is concise, simple, and direct. Finerman's mixture of famous and ordinary people in these stories makes for engaging and interesting reading. A common thread of self-realization, mindset change and corrective action (or in Finerman's formula: Assess, Create, Implement) weaves each tale together to form a narrative of the book's theme: Successful self-change is possible for anyone willing to follow a proven plan.

A stirring, motivational quote from a bevy of famous achievers (from Aristotle to Anthony Robbins) establishes credibility for, then launches each new chapter while you as the reader begin to envision your own 'success story' unfolding vicariously through a combination of the tales of others' triumphs over doubt, debilitation or circumstance.

Finerman underscores her intent to help you drive toward results by integrating academic textbook like assignments, recaps and note-taking sections at the end of each chapter. This is what the book tangibly delivers: A real formula for self-transformation. For me, the textbook like instructions at the end of each chapter were a bit distracting--I prefer to read without interruption, digest the totality of a book, then review. But the point of this book is not to make you ponder or to merely be inspired-- the point of the book is to instruct and guide you through a thoughtfully developed regimen where the eventual outcome is the realization of your dreams. With that outcome in mind, Finerman's academic like instructional approach is tough to argue against.

Like any effective self-improvement process, Finerman's "9 rituals" aren't easy to complete-- nor is her process a quick one. But as any successful person can attest to, her 9 prescribed rituals absolutely do work. This book is written clearly and offers basic (yet powerful) evidence based instruction on how you can win in the game of life-- and be happy along your path to victory.

My favorite thing about LIVING IN YOUR TOP 1% is that for me it serves as a reliable 'pick me up' whenever I run into the inevitable obstacles along the path toward my realizing my own dreams and I need a healthy recharge of self-confidence. In this sense, the book is a wonderful motivator as it reliably restores my confidence and dutifully guides me back on the path toward achieving my ultimate life goals."

-    James McDonald


"Living in Your Top 1% is refreshing! Alissa skillfully provides an actionable blueprint for achieving goals and living your truth. Her book walks you through some thought provoking exercises as it helps you sketch out the actions and habits necessary to produce goal shattering results. This book focuses on iterative processes necessary to assess and reassess goals. Her personal story is inspiring and liberating. She places emphasis on redefining how one looks at life. Prioritizing yourself as the CEO of your life gives context to the meaning behind the goals you set. Alissa provokes you to challenge the status quo and invoke new feelings of self-esteem and belief. I love the way she rejects a microwaved approach to change and stresses the importance of forward progress and little victories. A must read for anyone looking for more out of life!"

-    Aisha D. Da Costa

What is Your Goal?

From the Universal to the Universal

By Sri Swami Chidananda

The other day, when I was returning from my tour, I decided to get down at Dehra Dun instead of Hardwar. In the same compartment of the train were a Kashmiri lady and an army brigadier. They were talking about there being no provision in the India of today for the training of the youth—who are the wealth of the nation. I joined in the conversation and pointed out a number of organisations that were showing a real concern for the upcoming generation.

Finally, as we were getting close to Dehra Dun, the lady said to me, "Swamiji, you seem to know so much. Please give me some of your jnana, something that I can carry with me for my life." I said, "Look here, I have been giving it, and that should be enough. Nevertheless, as an individual aspirant approaching me, it is my duty to give you some jnana. Therefore let me say something."

I went on, "The first jnana I want to give you is: This life is only a journey. You have come here; you don’t belong here. You are on a journey, and at the end of the journey you will have to leave and go. So nothing is really yours here. Nor do you belong here. First truth.

"The second truth is that when a person is on a journey, they usually have a destination to reach. What destination have you set for yourself? Is it what you were discussing with the brigadier? Is that your destination? Is that your reach? Think of it! Your destination cannot be anything here for the simple reason that you do not belong here. If you reach any destination here, it will be here and you will go elsewhere. So you can reap no permanent benefit from whatever secular, temporal, worldly, earthly goal that you set for yourself—no matter how great it may be.

It may even be something as comprehensive as banning the use of nuclear weapons, something upon which the fate of all humanity on planet Earth hangs. It may be something as big as the United Nations or the World Bank or the International Monetary Fund. All these things are trivial, for the simple reason that none of them can be your real goal; because no matter what you achieve here you will go empty-handed. You came empty-handed, you’ll go empty-handed. Therefore, think!

"Third truth: All these important things that you have been discussing—that there is no proper provision in India today for the youth and that you must do something about it—is based on the egoistical feeling that there is a you and that you can do something.

"Look here, this world has been going on for hundreds and thousands of years before you and the brigadier and all people came. You come now and you will disappear like little insects coming in the rainy season having a 24-hour lifespan. Empires have come and gone. You have come and you will go. This drama of life will go on, the world will go on—another 1000 years, 2000 years, 10,000 years.

"You are nothing. There is some higher power that has been looking after this world for eons. Scientists say that the first sign of life came on planet Earth so many millions of years ago. What is your calendar of 365 days before millions of years? So don’t worry about it. There is some higher power who is quite capable of looking after this world that you are so concerned about. He doesn’t require Kashmiri ladies like you. You better take care of yourself, so that during this precious little human life between an entry point and an exit point that you do something to improve yourself, bring out all the latent potential within yourself.

"And before you leave, try to do maximum benefit to God’s creation—into which He has put you. That is the only thing that makes life worth living. Life’s importance is not assessed in terms of how much you have amassed, what titles you have, how many audiences you have addressed or how many books you have written. All that is vain fancy. The value of life is in having come here, before you go how many people have been happier, how many have been benefited, how useful have you been to God’s creation. Not only human beings, the whole world."

I continued, "How many tears have you wiped from crying children, orphans, widows, helpless people, from poor, suffering people in the remotest villages where there is no drinking water, no sanitation, no education—they are disease bound? Try to do something. Go there and give them a proper road; they are cut off during the monsoon season. Go not to the posh cities, but help suffering humanity in the rural areas. Bring sanitation, hygiene, medical aid. Give eye camps for those who are blinded with cataracts. Then you have done something.

"Our culture, our country has as its highest ideal in life paropakara, benefiting others, being useful to others, doing something that is good for others, not only for yourself. Paropakara is the highest ideal. They went so far as to say that this body has been given only for this purpose. So bring about a change in the orientation of your vision.

"So this I am telling you personally. What then is the goal? Your goal is to go back from where you came. There is a great Universal Soul. You are not this body, this cage of flesh and bones. You are not the five karma indriyas or the five jnana indriyas. You are not this mind, emotion, sentiment, imagination and various moods such as anger, passion, greed, envy, jealousy. You are not even this little "I" that you are identifying yourself with when you look in a mirror. All these are not you. You are a centre of radiant consciousness, shining consciousness—eternal, imperishable, unborn, beyond time, beyond space, infinite. Read the second chapter of the Bhagavad Gita every day!"

That is how we took leave. I did not speak to her as an individual addressing an individual. I spoke as the Universal addressing the Universal in that lady. And I said that you belong to that dimension. This is a golden chance to lift yourself up from this confined consciousness to your real dimension of infinite consciousness, universal consciousness. That is why we are here.

She asked for blessings. I said, "May the Universal Consciousness grace and fulfil whatever is there in your heart, whatever you are aspiring for, whatever you are ardently longing and wishing for. May it be fulfilled!"


(Reproduced by kind permission of Swami Padmanabhananda, the Divine Life Society)

Learning from a Toddler

5 Lessons Learned from a Toddler

Author:  Deborah Fike

If I could summarize my world for you in one sentence, it would be: chasing my toddler. I know the back of my daughter’s scruffy blonde head anywhere: dashing across the living room, making a break for the next grocery aisle, or attempting to go up the slide (much more fun than going down). My old day job required me to attend meetings and sit in front of a computer most of the day. Now, I’m lucky if I get 10 minutes to sit down for a breather before my girl has me running to catch up with her.

I’ve never raised a child before, and given my personality, I decided to read about it. All the toddler self-help books talk about what you need to teach them: how to play with others, learn language, go potty. These books contain great advice for child rearing, but none discuss the things parents learn from toddlers. I have learned at least as much from my daughter as she has learned from me. So here are some tips for living from someone who just started her life journey:

1. It’s your duty to question everything.

Toddlers don’t take anything as a given. They don’t understand that you should eat your peas, not put them in your hair. On a more serious note, they don’t understand that running into the street can kill you, so they may bolt at any second. And when you stop them from doing something they want to do, you get the dreaded string of “whys.”

But “whys” are a good thing. They demonstrate curiosity and a thirst to understand the world. More importantly, they force us to evaluate all of our decisions. Toddlers don’t like to follow a rule with a weak “why,” and neither should adults. So if something bothers you, question it. Don’t like the answer? Channel your inner toddler and take action. You’ll feel better in the long run (especially on ethical decisions) if you always ask “why.”

2. All skills take practice, but you’ll get there eventually.

It is amazing how very little a baby can do at birth. He can’t see or hear well. Many babies struggle with the sucking reflex, so they can’t even eat well. When you watch a baby grow, it’s amazing to watch him master the ability to move and manipulate things, including himself. It literally takes years. Reasoning takes much longer. (Some parents of teenagers might argue that day never comes.) And how do we learn all of this? By doing it day in, day out for years at a time.

So as an adult, if you’re trying to learn a new skill, you’ve got to be patient and put in the time to learn something new. Toddlers thrive on doing the same things over and over again, and that’s how they become master walkers and talkers. Don’t get me wrong – toddlers are rarely patient. My daughter can cry with the best of them when she encounters a container she wants to open and can’t. But she works at it constantly until she does eventually open the box (usually to my frustrated sigh as I go find a broom).

3. There is opportunity in destruction.

Before my daughter was born, I saw the world as a place where I could create. I could find connections and establish a career. I could open up my computer and write a story. Opportunities abound in this world because I can build in it.

Toddlers like creation, but many value destruction even more. I stack blocks, my daughter knocks them down. At first, this frustrates an adult, especially when something you cherish has been ruined by your child. But there’s opportunity in destruction too. When your child scribbles marker on the wall, you have a chance to paint it a nicer color than its original boring beige. For a more adult-oriented example, perhaps you’ve been pigeonholed as a great accountant, but you’d rather be a carpenter. Casting away your old career for a new one can be more rewarding than building upon what you already have. Sometimes the greatest joy is found not in the creation, but the destruction, of something you’ve built.

4. Go outside as often as you can.

The outdoors is a magical place for a toddler. It doesn’t matter how many toys, books, and interesting things I shove in a room, it can only hold her attention for about 30 minutes (if I’m that lucky). Then I’m stuck either listening to her whine or taking her someplace else. This rule does not hold true if my toddler plays outside. We went to the beach the other weekend, and my daughter had no trouble entertaining herself for nearly 4 hours.

I used to spend a lot of time outdoors through my college years, but once I entered the “real world,” I’ve been less committed. I feel a lot healthier now that I spend more time outside with my daughter. Even if it’s just sitting on the front steps, the outdoors is at once more relaxing and exciting at the same time. It’s relaxing because natural noises lull you in the place of electronic ringtones and computer clicks. It’s exciting because all sorts of things can and do happen: you chat with your neighbors, a helicopter flies overhead, or a large butterfly catches your eye. I now value outdoor time as much as exercise and eating right.

5. Love like there’s no tomorrow.

Toddlers have little emotional restraint, and as parents, it’s our job to teach them how to work through emotions so they can live a normal life. But when it comes to love, toddlers have the right idea. They have no qualms springing a hug on you, even if it means nearly tripping you in the process. My daughter’s kiss is the best gift I have ever received in this world. She gives it at a moment’s notice, and it is always accompanied by the most genuine smile. The feeling it evokes cannot be described by ordinary words.

Imagine the world with more toddler love. It’d probably involve more chases and tickling, but I could live with that.

What have you learned from your children?