Schrödinger's Cat and the Law of Attraction

The more scientific of my friends are no doubt familiar with the concept of Schrödinger's cat, a proposition put forward in 1935 by quantum physicist Erwin Schrödinger.  For those less familiar with quantum mechanics, and as a reminder for all, here is a summary of the concept.

According to quantum mechanics all possible states of a quantum system exist until an observer comes on the scene.  The observer then views one of the multiple possible states and at that point that particular state becomes reality.  Schrödinger hated this idea and put forward the following thought experiment.

Imagine you have a cat in a box.  In the box is a flask of poison and some radioactive material.  The decaying atoms in the radioactive material are, by definition, a quantum system.  This means that at any point in time an atom has both decayed and not decayed.  It is only when the box is opened and the material is observed that either decay or non-decay is crystallized.  Also within the box is a monitor that detects whether or not an atom has decayed.  If the atom has decayed, the monitor turns on a simple machine which smashes the flask, releasing the poison and killing the cat.  Ignoring for a moment the very important fact that the monitor itself is an observer which, in my humble opinion, would have crystallized the decay or non-decay anyway, according to Schrödinger if quantum theory is correct the cat would be both dead and alive at the same time until we opened the box and observed the cat.

I would like to reassure my readers that no cats were harmed in this thought experiment!

Schrödinger put forward this story in order to show his fellow scientists how absurd quantum theory was.  Unfortunately for Schrödinger, however absurd he might have considered quantum theory, the reality is that it is true.  What Schrödinger wrote as a mickey take is now a generally accepted thought experiment in quantum mechanics.

As a reminder again, Schrödinger's cat illustrates the point that all possible states in the universe exist until we observe.  The one we observe then becomes reality.  Some scientists then say that all possible states continue to exist in a "multiverse" but that our observation has caused us to enter the particular universe in which the state we observed is reality.  The proponents of multiverse theory tend to be the scientists who cannot accept the idea that God must have created the one universe in which we live, as it is the only possible alternative to this idea - but I am one of the odd few who both believe in multiverses and in God.  But whether you believe in God, multiverses, or both, Schrödinger's cat and all its implications are equally true.

Consider, for a moment, the implications this has for the Law of Attraction.  For example, there are multiple possibilities for your own future.  You could become the wealthiest person on earth, be as poor as a church mouse, or any of the possible states in between.  Which particular state becomes your reality depends entirely on which one you observe.  Focus on the outcome you want, and now recognize that your observation of this outcome has made it reality.  And this applies no matter what it is you are trying to make happen, whether it relates to wealth, health, happiness, success in a particular venture, or all of the above.

So the next time you find yourself questioning whether or not the Law of Attraction can work for you, remember Schrödinger's cat.  Make sure your observation is the right one and your cat stays alive and well!

The Reason I Cannot Realize My Dream

Did you once have a dream but then life's knocks came along and you gave up on that dream?

Is there something you would really like to achieve, but you have never gone for it as you didn't believe it was possible for you?

The sad truth is that most people, if they are honest, would admit to this.  "I always wanted to ..., but ...!"

Everyone's "but" is slightly different.  Maybe even unique.  But I guess some of the biggest "buts" fall somewhere into one of the following categories:

•   I don't have enough money
•   Nobody living where I do could do it
•   I am not educated enough
•   I am too old
•   I am too young
•   I tried it before and I failed
•   I don't have the right body for it

One of the best ways to become successful, to live your dream, is to find someone who has already done what you want to do and then copy what they did.  Not do the same things, but see how they approached the challenge and then do likewise.  Or simply to become inspired by others who have achieved something great, even if it is very different from what you wish to achieve.

  I don't have enough money

This is perhaps the biggest obstacle perceived by many people who give up trying to be successful.

Some millionaires were born wealthy.  But many were not.  Take John D Rockefeller for example.  His father was a con artist who more or less deserted his family.  His mother did the best she could to bring up her family in the absence of her husband.  They were not "dirt poor", but they were certainly not rich and John had to struggle to make good.  And make good he did!  John D Rockefeller was the founder of Standard Oil, and created a number of charitable foundations which have done enormous good in the world.  Not bad for the son of a snake oil salesman!

Or take a look at the early life of the Canadian singer, Shania Twain.  Her family was so poor that they couldn't afford to pay for heating; Northeastern Ontario, which is where they lived, gets very cold in the winter.  Shania went to work when she was just eight years old so that her family could afford to eat.  Despite this inauspicious start in life, Shania went on to become one of the highest selling female musicians of all time and is now worth several hundred million dollars.

  Nobody living where I do could do it

Too often, people blame their environment and say it makes it impossible to achieve their dreams.  In many ways this is linked to the excuse that they cannot achieve them because they do not have enough money.

Have you ever heard of the heavyweight boxer, Jack Johnson?  Jack was an African American, living in Texas in the late 19th and early 20th century.  His parents were former slaves.  He was living in a State where at the time African Americans were hardly even regarded as human.  But this background did not stop Jack doing what he wanted to do, which was to box.  That was his dream, and he lived his dream.  He became the world heavyweight champion in December 1908.

Oprah Winfrey is a more recent example of an African American from Southern USA rising to wealth and fame.  She was born into a very poor family in Mississippi.  Oprah is now known as the "Queen of All Media", and is believed to be North America's only black billionaire.

  I am not educated enough

Benjamin Franklin's family was not wealthy enough to pay for more than two years of school, so he never graduated.  He did not let that get in the way of his education, though, and he took every opportunity he could to improve himself, especially through reading lots of books.  Amongst his achievements are the invention of the lightning rod, the urinary catheter, and bifocal glasses.  He also happened to be one of the founding fathers of the United States.

Albert Einstein took so long to learn to speak that his parents thought he had a learning disability.  He did not do well at school, and eventually dropped out at age 15.  When he tried to get into Zurich polytechnic he flunked the exam.  And this was one of the most brilliant scientists of the 20th century!

Richard Branson suffers from dyslexia.  This meant he performed very badly at school, as in those days dyslexia was not really recognized and schools did not make allowances for students with this condition.  Nevertheless, Richard Branson went on to create the Virgin brand, and realized his dream to create a large and successful airline.  In his autobiography he wrote "My interest in life comes from setting myself huge, apparently unachievable challenges and trying to rise above them".  That is something Richard Branson has certainly achieved, setting a great example for anyone who feels challenged by their educational ability.

  I am too old

Kathryn Joosten was a highly talented actress who has won two Emmy Awards.  When did she become a successful actress?  When she was nearly 60.

Frank McCourt achieved fame through his novel "Angela's Ashes", which gained him the Pulitzer Prize.  He did not realize his dream of becoming a published author, though, until he was 65 years old!

Have you ever used a Thesaurus?  If so, you can thank Peter Roget who came up with the concept in the first place - at the grand old age of 73!  Not only did he have the "obstacle" of age, but he also suffered from Obsessive Convulsion Disorder.  Instead of seeing his mental condition as an obstacle, Roget used it to his advantage to turn his dream of a Thesaurus into reality.

  I am too young

Nobody should see being too young as an obstacle, but unfortunately many still do.

There are countless examples of very young people achieving success.  Mozart began composing at age 3 and had his debut at age 4.  Blaise Pascal created an extremely important mathematical theorum, Pascal's Theorum, when he was 16.  Arfa Karim, a Pakistani girl, became a Microsoft Certified Professional at the age of 9!

Whatever it is you want to achieve, whether young or old, you should not see age as an obstacle.

  I tried it before and I failed

Stephen King received rejection letters from 30 publishers for his first novel "Carrie".  When it was finally published it had an initial print run of 30,000, and the paperback edition which was published a year later sold over 1 million copies!

Thomas Edison is probably one of the best examples of someone who simply kept trying no matter how many times he failed.  Edison didn't invent the light bulb.  Alessandro Volta could be said to have invented it 78 years before Edison began his work.  What Edison DID invent was the first electric light bulb that would last long enough to be a practical replacement for gas and oil lighting.  It seemed an impossible task.  Everything he tried seemed not to work properly.  Did that make him give up?  No!  Instead of becoming discouraged, Edison said "I have not failed.  I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work!"

  I don't have the right body for it

Franklin Roosevelt became President of the United States when he was permanently paralyzed from the waist down.  In those days people were much less tolerant of disability and Roosevelt believed, probably rightly, that he would not be voted into office if people realized just how disabled he was.  He did not see this as an insurmountable obstacle, though, but just a challenge to be overcome.  He gave speeches from a sturdy lectern that he could lean on and appear to be fully mobile.  His strategy worked, and Roosevelt became perhaps one of the most famous Presidents of all time.

Stephen Hawkin is another great example.  Hawkin is so fully paralyzed by motor neurone disease that not only is he unable to move but he can also only communicate by moving a single cheek muscle attached to an electronic device that turns the movement into speech.  He was first diagnosed with the disease when he was 21, and was told he would not survive his 25th birthday.  As of the date of this article, Stephen Hawking is 73 and is still working.  His work includes a development of Einstein's theory of general relativity, and numerous publications popularizing his passion for cosmology.

Nick Vujicic was born without arms or legs.  He is now a very well known international motivational speaker, with a particular interest in helping teenagers overcome their problems.  This he can do very well - after all, if Nick can achieve so much without arms or legs, then how much more should I be able to achieve without such a major disability?

  So, what is your excuse

I hope you have been inspired by these very brief stories of people who have realized their dreams against what must have seemed impossible odds.  The one thing all these people share is that what others would have seen as insurmountable obstacles, they saw as stimulating challenges.

The next time you are tempted to say you are facing too difficult an obstacle to achieve your dream, just read through these examples again.  That obstacle may be very real, but it is probably not as challenging as the obstacles any of these people faced.

Whatever your dream may be, no matter your circumstances, just go for it!

The Secret of Success

Many people search for the "Secret of Success" as if it were the Philosopher's Stone which will change base metals into gold.  They look for a hidden, magic secret.  Something really magical and obscure.  The one ingredient that will change everything.  All they need to do is find this one magical ingredient and their whole life will change!  Just as the alchemists failed in this task, so those who search in this way are doomed to fail too.

There are, of course, many "Secrets of Success".  Some are vital, but many are additional helpful tips likely to improve your search for success but not absolutely essential.

I regularly give my readers many of those additional tips, both here and in my newsletters.  If you have not already added yourself to receive my newsletters, do so now at http:\\www.beallican.com and also receive four free e-books to help you achieve success, however you may personally define success.

One absolutely vital "Secret of Success" is to define "Success" properly.  What exactly does success mean to you?  Do not just accept the first glib answer that comes to mind.  This is an extremely important step.  If you do not get this right it is just the same as trying to plan a journey somewhere when you have no idea where it is you are going but do know it is vital you get there and nowhere else!  Can you imagine anything sillier?  Yet this is the way most people unfortunately begin their search for success.  And then they wonder why they do not succeed!

When you do arrive at an answer, do not simply accept it.  Question it.  Why is this so important for you?  What will your life be like when you have it?  How will that make you feel?

Sometimes, this questioning process will make you realize what you are aiming for is not so important after all.  This is a good result.  It means you can now find what really is important.

If you are really aiming for the right result you should find strong positive emotions are attached.  This is both a sign you are on the right track and also a vital tool that will help you reach the end goal.  Those emotions are what will drive you there as long as you keep expressing them.

There are many tools out there to help you focus those positive emotions and use them to drive you to your goal.  This is what affirmations are all about.  It is what vision boards are all about.  Stoke up those emotions and you will find yourself well on the way to achieving whatever it is you want to achieve.

Now you will need persistence, of course, and the ability to learn from failures so you find the right way to reach your goal.  If that goal is worthy of your efforts there will probably be roadblocks in the way, so you must not give up at the first block you encounter.  But where does this persistence, and the determination to keep going no matter what, come from?  It comes from those powerful emotions you stoked up when you defined your goal and which you keep stoking up every day to keep you on course.

So that is the "Secret of Success" in a nutshell.  Find what you truly want to achieve, live it in your mind and spirit, and supercharge your journey towards it with powerful positive emotions.  Do this properly and you will get there.  Certainly use the great tools that are out there to help you get there quicker, but never forget that this is the true "Secret of Success".

An Easy Way to Become a Millionaire

How can you become wealthy?  Really wealthy?  Millionaire kind of wealthy?

Obviously you need to do something to earn money.  There are lots of ways of earning extra money if you look hard enough, but that is not what I am looking at here.  Whatever you do to earn money, and no matter how much you earn, you may still never become wealthy.  That is the issue I am going to address.

If you take a good look at people who have become millionaires you may be surprised at how comparatively little many of them have earned.  I am not talking here about the Richard Bransons or Warren Buffetts of the world.  Not the super rich.  But lesser known people who have managed to accumulate at least $1 million.  If they do not earn much more than an average wage (whether or not it is actually a wage - many probably earn by running their own businesses) how did they become so wealthy?

Let's begin by looking at a quote from Charles Dickens:

"Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen [pounds] nineteen [shillings] and six [pence], result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery."

What Mr Micawber said here contains the key to becoming wealthy.  Not, of course, by saving only a penny a year, but the basic principle here is what those millionaires understand and put into practice.

If you work for a salary, when did you last get a pay rise?  If you run your own business, when did you last manage to increase its annual profits?  Think back to that time.  How much did you spend every month a few months before your income increased?  How about after your income increased?  Did you continue spending the same every month, or did you increase it, even if only by a little?

Digging a little deeper, do you tend to spend more every month than your income?  Don't be embarrassed if the answer is "yes" - many people are in this situation.

The first step is therefore to get your expenditure under control.  If you are spending more than you earn, at least make sure you reduce it enough to avoid going further into debt.  The next step is then to reduce it further so it is at least 10% less than your income.  And when your income next increases, try not to increase your expenditure.  If you simply have to increase it, make sure it is no more than 50% of the increase.  Now invest the money you are no longer spending.

If you can do this, I can assure you that your wealth will grow very quickly.  Within just a few years you will be very wealthy.  It is as simple as that!

The reason this works so well is because of the power of compounding.

Imagine for a moment that by following my suggestion you are able to save $100 this year.  How difficult is that?  Less than 10 cups of fairly cheap coffee a month.  This should easily be achievable.  According to Warren Buffett you should expect an annual return of between 6% and 7% if you invest long term (i.e. 10 years or more) in the stock market.  Let's take the mid range of this and assume you average 6.5% growth.  Within 12 years, if you reinvest the growth, you will have doubled your money to $200.

But this assumes you can only ever save that $100 once and that in all future years you save nothing at all.  That is certainly not the way to become wealthy.  So let us now assume you save $100 each and every year.  By year 13 you will have over $2,000 in your investment account.  A lot better than $200!

Finally, let's assume that by a combination of more careful pruning of your expenditure and periodic increases in income you manage to double that $100 saving each year.  By year 14 you will have nearly $2 million!

Ok, perhaps that last scenario was a little unrealistic.  It is ok doubling your savings in the first few years but it will get more and more difficult just to keep doubling it.  But also I believe if you look properly at your expenditure you can make savings of a lot more than $100, and also if you keep at least 50% of any increase in income there will be even more for you to invest.  Without doing anything particularly drastic, someone on average earnings should easily be able to become a millionaire in 10 to 15 years.

Never again think that becoming a millionaire is beyond you, that you need to be an adept at manifesting, that you need to be very lucky or born into the right circumstances.  Most of us can easily become millionaires if we really want to just by following the above steps.

Motivation & the Law of Attraction

Many people try to put the Law of Attraction into practice and then complain it does not work.  In fact my experience suggests far more people have this experience than those who find it does work.  Why is this?  Is it that the whole idea of the Law of Attraction is wrong?  And what does this have to do with motivation anyway?

The answer is that there is nothing wrong with the Law of Attraction, but everything wrong with the way most people try to use it.  If you have not worked hard on pumping up your motivation it is a bit like trying to drive a car without putting any petrol in it.  If the tank is empty, the car will not move no matter how hard you press on the accelerator.  And if you do not have the right motivation, the Law of Attraction is unlikely to work properly for you no matter how often you repeat your affirmations and stare at your vision board.

Actually, you may feel that last sentence not quite correct, as staring at your vision board should start to build your motivation.  In my view that is its main purpose.  But I still stand by what I have said.  Many people don't get motivated when they use their vision boards.

If motivation is so important, how can you make sure you really have it?

Begin by looking at your goals and dreams.  Do they excite you?  Really excite you?

It is not enough simply to say "Yes! I really want that!".  Motivation goes much deeper than this.  When you look at a goal you want to achieve you should feel a state change.  There should be something deep within you that resonates with it.  There should be deep and powerful feelings about it.  If so, then you are motivated.  If not, then you have to do something about it, or you will probably not achieve the goal.

The first step is to find out whether this goal is fully aligned to your inner values.  If it is not, then it will be difficult for you to get really motivated.  My experience suggests that more than half the people who set out to achieve a goal are not really motivated to achieve it because it is not aligned to their inner values.

Do you even know what your inner values really are?

A good start to finding out is to take the goal and start day dreaming about it.  How does it make you feel?  What thoughts come into your mind?  Follow the trails of those thoughts and see where they lead.  You may be surprised where they end up, and this may give you a clue to who you really are and what it is you really want.

In many cases you will find you just need to tweak the goal slightly for it to be properly aligned with your inner values.  Time spent day dreaming to find out what those tweaks should be is not time wasted, but time properly invested.  If nothing exciting comes out of this, then you probably have completely the wrong goal, so look for another one that will excite you.

Now your goal is properly aligned, start to imagine how life will be when you have achieved that goal.  How does that make you feel?  This time you should feel the power.  You have now filled your tank with the right fuel, your motivation, and the engine is ready to respond.

If you have tried manifesting and using the Law of Attraction in the past and been disappointed by the lack of results, build your motivation in the way I have suggested here.  You will be blown away by the results!  Even if you find the Law of Attraction works for you, still use this technique to amplify your motivation and you will find it works even better.

Get motivated, and there is nothing in this world you cannot achieve!

What Does Success Mean?

If I asked you whether you want to be successful, I guess you would answer with a resounding "yes!"

But what exactly does success mean?  What is success?

This might seem like a question with an obvious answer.  But think again.  It is not obvious.

Let me ask it another way.  What does success mean to you?

That is the key question, and only you can answer it.  But I can perhaps put you on the right track to finding your own answer.

Almost certainly, success does not mean lots of money.  Money is only a tool which may allow you to do the things you want in life, and simply getting more money does not make you successful.

Let me explain this a little further.  When a client says "I want more money!" I probe deeper with the question "Why do you want more money?"  Maybe the answer is "I want to buy a luxury villa somewhere on a South Sea island!"  OK, already we are getting past "money" - we now have a villa.  The next question is "why do you want to buy a luxury villa somewhere on a South Sea island?"  My client may answer "I want to be able to holiday on a lovely South Sea island whenever I want!"  Well, that doesn't necessarily mean you have to buy the villa.  One of my colleagues who coaches people how to achieve anything they desire is a very wealthy lady.  She used to have a very similar phrase on her wish list.  As she is very good at doing what she coaches, and is an expert in manifestation, she soon acquired this villa.  But after owning it for a few years she realized it was not really what she wanted so she sold it.  Instead she manifested friends who owned such a villa and were happy for her to use it whenever she wished.  Now she had what she really wanted, but without the hassle and responsibility of the ownership of property.

I suggest in order to be in the best position to be really successful you ask yourself the right questions.  Find out what success really means to you, and then challenge yourself.  Think about what you have said and dig deeper.  Ask yourself why this represents success or whether there is really something underlying it that better defines success for you.  Until you do this you will not be trying to manifest the right things, and you will probably be disappointed in the results.  Don't blame the universe for this - it is your fault for not really digging deep and answering the question properly, "what does success mean to me?"

Asking yourself this question, "what does success mean to me", is absolutely key to becoming successful.  Spend some time right now defining it and be sure the answer you give is the right one (or rather, the right ones, as almost certainly there will be a number of answers).  If you do this you will really be on the right road to success.

Using Music to Ease Depression

Shakespeare wrote "If music be the food of love, play on".  Music can, indeed, be the food of love, and of every other emotion.  It also has great power, particularly through the use of emotions, to heal, improve relationships, improve your memory, study far more effectively, and help you grow and develop your personality.

Take depression for example.  Now before anyone thinks I am suggesting you avoid medical treatment, I am not.  Depression is a serious illness and therefore has to be taken seriously.  If you think you might be suffering from depression your first port of call should be a doctor.  But having said that, music can be used very effectively to help ease the symptoms of depression.  It is also a great way of dealing with a melancholic mood that may or may not be caused by depression.

How should you use music to help ease depression, or the blues?  You should create a playlist of appropriate tracks of music.  Begin the list with music which seems to match your depressive mood.  Melancholic, slow tunes.  Blues music would be a good start - or perhaps Fado or Enka if you are familiar with those styles.  If you enjoy classical music, then perhaps Beethoven's "Moonlight" Sonata, or Wagner's "Liebestod" from "Tristan and Isolde" would be appropriate.  The key is to use music you like, of whatever style, but which clearly matches your mood.

Believe it or not, just listening to this kind of music matching your mood can change your mood completely, hence the popularity of blues music for example.  But do not stop there!  The next step is to select some tracks that are more "mid tempo".  Ones that are a little faster and feel a little happier.  An example might be "Only the Lonely" by Roy Orbison, or Bach's "Air on a G-String".

From there, move to some more "up-beat" and happier pieces of music.  For example "Good Vibrations" by the Beach Boys, or "Für Elise"by Beethoven.

Finally, end your selection with some really joyful, faster tempo pieces.  "Fun, Fun, Fun" by the Beach Boys, "All You Need Is Love" by the Beatles, Sousa's "Stars and Stripes Forever", or the "Ode to Joy" from Beethoven's 9th Symphony (i.e. the final movement) all spring to mind.

When you play this selection, in that order, you will find it lifts your mood.  You should find yourself in a much happier state by the end.

Again I stress this is not a cure and is not intended as an alternative to medical advice when needed.  But it can certainly help alleviate symptoms of depression, and is certainly very powerful when you are simply feeling low and want to snap out of that mood.

Don't wait until you need to use this playlist.  Create it now, and then keep it ready for when you really need it.  If you wait until you need it you will find it much more difficult, and perhaps even impossible, to create it properly.

Make sure you use styles of music that you are comfortable with.  I have given examples of pop music from the 60's and traditional classical music, as these are styles I enjoy.  If you click on the title of each track I have suggested you will be able to obtain a copy if you do not already have it.  But you can equally use modern rock, punk, hip hop, new age, or anything that moves you.

The example I have given is just for lifting your mood, and it will do that in a very powerful way.  There is not enough space here to go through all the other ways you can use music in your personal development journey, although I may introduce some more in a future blog if enough people ask me to do so.  But you can see the technique I have used here, and can then modify it in order to create different playlists for different purposes.

If you are interested in pursuing this further, check out "The Tao of Music" by John Ortiz.  You can get a copy here.  Alternatively, if you are in the UK, try this link: UK Version.

Get going now and start using music to improve your mood!

Self Empowerment

If only ...!

Have you ever used those words?  I bet you have!

If only I could lose another few pounds!  If only I had more money!  If only [spouse name] would understand me better!  If only I could be more successful!  If only ...!

But did you realize that by saying "if only ..." in this way you are making it far less likely that whatever you are wishing for will happen?  "If only ..." tells your subconscious mind that you do not believe it is possible.  Your subconscious mind believes whatever you tell it, especially if there is emotion attached to what you say, and what your subconscious mind truly believes will come to pass.

When you say "if only I could lose another few pounds!" you are telling your subconscious that you have reached the limit of your slimming ability and it is not possible for you to lose any more weight, not even a single pound.  Your subconscious will note this and will ensure you do not lose any more weight.  You will now either stay the same weight or even put on a few more pounds.  Is that what you wanted to happen?  Of course not!

When you say "if only I had more money!" you are telling your subconscious that the amount of money you have in your bank right now (or at least the rolling average balance) is all you will ever have.  No matter what you try to do about it you will never be able to get any more.  Your subconscious will note this and will ensure you do not increase that balance except temporarily.  Either your rolling average will remain the same from now on or it will go even lower.  Is that what you wanted to happen?  I think not!

It gets even worse when your "if only ..." relates to people around you.  Not only do you give the wrong message to your own subconscious, but you also broadcast it to those people too, to their subconscious.  Now you have both your own subconcious and that of the people around you working against you.  How's that for setting yourself up for failure?

The biggest step you can take to self empowerment is to stop saying "if only ...!".  Wipe that phrase out of your vocabulary for good!  It does not exist!

It is so easy to turn it around.  Take "if only I could lose a few more pounds!"  Now wipe out "if only".  It changes into "I could lose a few more pounds" - much better!  As a second step, change that subjunctive tense of "could", which makes it a bit wishy washy and uncertain.  Some people change it into the future tense - "I will lose a few more pounds" - but you should instead say something which makes you feel as though you have already achieved this goal.  So "I have lost another four pounds!" would be a great way to modify this "if only".

Or "if only I had more money", becomes "I had more money", which then becomes "I have more money".  All you have to to now is quantify that statement with your monetary goal and you are there.

Everyone can use this self empowerment method, and it is very powerful indeed.  You don't even have to worry about what you need to focus on, as the "if only ..." phrases that try to emerge tell you where you can and should empower yourself.

From this moment on promise yourself you will never say "if only ..." ever again, or will only allow that phrase to appear fleetingly in order to determine what your next goal should be.  Do this and I have a promise for you - you will find your self empowerment has been ratched up enormously, which will make a tremendous difference in your life and the way you feel!

How to Improve Your Self Confidence

How self confident are you?  Do you believe you are capable of achieving anything you put your mind to, or are there lots of times you say "I am rubbish at that!"?

Let me begin by saying that no matter what you may think you ARE capable of achieving anything you put your mind to.  We all are.  You just have to, well, put your mind to it!

Let me also say that whenever you say "I am rubbish at that!", then you ARE rubbish at it.

Both points are absolutely true, even though they appear contradictory.

They are both true because of the enormous power we have within us.  Or perhaps I should say the infinite power we have within us - the power of the Universe.

We can use that power constructively or destructively, just as someone splitting the atom can use it to create electricity or to destroy cities the size of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

If you ever say "I am rubbish at ... " you will make yourself rubbish at it.

Perhaps one of the commonest uses of a phrase like that is "I am hopeless at remembering names!".  Have you ever said that?  If so, each time you say it you eat away at your ability to remember names until you really are hopeless.  To my shame I have said that more times than I would like to admit!  I never say it now, though, and am repairing the great damage I caused myself by saying it.

Recognize that if you keep telling yourself you are good at something, and really believe it as you say it, then you will become good at it.  That is the way to build your self confidence, as you can improve your ability in anything you wish just by telling yourself "I can!".

If you find your self confidence is very low I suggest you start this process in a small way.  If you begin the process by saying "I am a master at learning foreign languages" when you have always felt it was impossible to learn another language you might just find you are taking on too big a task at once.  So start with something smaller, affirm to yourself that you can do it, that you are really good at it, then work at that ability and you will see the improvement.  As you see the small improvements this will increase your overall self confidence and allow you to move on to bigger tasks.

And whatever you do, stop telling yourself you are no good at something or you cannot do something.  Maybe if you find it very difficult then avoid doing it if possible, but don't keep telling yourself you cannot do it.

Put these two techniques into practice and you will see an automatic improvement in your self confidence which will grow and grow every day.

Motivate Me!

How powerful is your motivation?  How easily can you pump your motivation up when you really need it?

I am sure you understand the need for motivation.  If you are trying to lose weight you know it is pretty much impossible unless you are highly motivated to lose it.  Without that powerful motivation you will always be tempted by the food and snacks you know you shouldn't eat.  Without that powerful motivation you will always find an excuse not to do your workout today.  Whatever it is you are trying to achieve, motivation is usually one of the keys to success.

If motivation is a key to success, what can you do to pump it up?

The answer I have found is to daydream.  Yes, you read that right - daydream!  I put myself in the position I will be in when I have achieved my goal.  Put myself there and really feel what it is like.  Not just for a few seconds, which is how some people pay lip service to this concept, but for as long as it takes to feel a real change in my thinking, emotions, and even my body.

You do need to prepare for this daydream though, otherwise you may find it goes nowhere.  So the first thing you should do is start to list all the advantages of achieving your goal.  Make this list as wide and extensive as you can.  See if you can produce 100 reasons why you want to achieve it.  That is probably a very tough target, but keep working at it.  You will probably find the first dozen or so ideas come quickly, but then they peter out.  Don't give up at that point, as you will also probably find some pretty powerful reasons in the later batches, and they may be the very reasons that will motivate you.  Those later reasons will probably be less directly connected to your achievement than the earlier ones, but that is ok as long as there is a link.  Keep going and find those really powerful reasons for achieving your goal.  Then you can have your daydream.

Keep repeating this process.  Add more reasons to your list.  Add pictures which illustrate the great changes in your life that will appear when you achieve your goal.  And keep dreaming.

Which goals should you use this process with?  Ideally with all your goals.  But you will find the greatest motivation will come when you use it with your long term goals, the ones that might seem impossible to your friends and family if you shared them.  Your short term and medium term goals are steps along the route to your long term goals, so motivate yourself by daydreaming about your life when you have achieved those long term goals and then remind yourself that achieving those small goals will get you closer to your dream.

You will not necessarily find you are highly motivated the first time you try this exercise.  You may have a long history of poor motivation to counter.  But try it for a few weeks and I am sure you will be astounded by the difference it makes.  When you have established it as a habit you will find it much easier to continue it, not just for the initial goals you used it for but for new goals you set yourself.  You will reach the point where the moment you set yourself a new goal you immediately feel the glow that comes with achieving it, and you will instantly be motivated to do whatever it may take to get there.

What will motivate me?

Work at this daydreaming exercise and I know that will motivate you!

Personal Development Plans

Do you have a Personal Development Plan?  If so, when did you last review it to check it properly reflects what you need now?  If not, do you really need one?

I believe everyone needs a personal development plan.  Without such a plan you are like a rudderless ship in a big ocean, simply going aimlessly wherever the tides take it which may be somewhere very different from where you would wish to be.  With such a plan you know the direction in which you intend to go, and can then measure the actions you are taking to ensure they are moving you in that direction, even if only vaguely.

Your True Self

In the front of your Personal Development Plan you should indicate what kind of person you want to be.

You should meditate deeply before you answer that question.  It may seem a simple question, but it is not.  You may think you know the answer to that question but unless you have already done a lot of work meditating to find the answer then you probably do not know it.

Many people find, when they begin a meditation of this kind, that what they really want to be is not at all what they thought at first.  Do not be alarmed if this happens to you.  It is very normal.  Our inner desires have usually been supressed for so long, and replaced by what other people want us to be, that we do not recognize them when they first emerge from the depths of our being.

Just doing this exercise is already a big jump forward.  Once you know what you want to be it is not a big step to start living your life in a way that matches this.  You will find once you do this you will be so much happier and feel so much more satisfied.  You are no longer living in conflict with your inner desires, which is what you have probably been doing up to now, as that is what most people do.

You will find you are now closer to your true self, which is where you need to be.

Goals and Ambitions

Next you should note down what you want to achieve in life, whether you are near the beginning or the end of that life.  What are your goals and ambitions?

Again, meditate on this.  As your goals and ambitions rise to the surface of your consciousness, check they are properly aligned with the person you really want to be.  If not, then they cannot be your real goals and ambitions.  Either that or you have not yet finished discovering who it is you truly want to be.

These may be very long-term goals and ambitions.  In fact, it is important to have long-term goals and ambitions, otherwise you have no way of knowing whether what you are doing is moving you in the right direction.

If you have not already done so, read the article I wrote last week on achieving goals.  You can find it immediately below this article (http://iwanttoimprovemyself.blogspot.co.uk/2015/08/how-to-achieve-goals.html).

Action Plan

Now you write down the steps you should take in order to reach your goals - your Action Plan.  Sometimes this will be simple actions you take yourself.  But also there will be tools you can use.  These may include using a personal development coach, following a particular personal development programme, etc.  Where there is a cost involved, then your plan should also include your budget, and how you are going to put this money aside if you do not already have it saved up.

Be Flexible

Recognize that as you move through life things will change.  Once you start working through a Personal Development Plan this will probably happen even more dramatically.  New ideas will come to you.  Some of what you have written in your plan will probably now be irrelevant.  There will also probably be some obvious gaps which did not appear to be there when you first drew up your plan.  So be ready to reflect on that plan and change it as necessary, as it should be a constantly evolving document.

What is Affirmation?

You have probably heard the term "affirmation", but exactly what is affirmation?

Dictionary Definition

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, affirmation is a statement made emphatically or publicly.  Although the meaning of affirmation in the context of personal development is different from the dictionary definition I do find the latter helpful.  The two key words there are "emphatically" and "publicly".

The other dictionary definition of affirmation is that it is a formal statement made in a legal context in place of an oath.  This is usually allowed in a court of law where a witness has a conscientious objection to taking an oath.  In England this right was first given to Quakers in the Quakers Act 1695.  Quakers believe wholeheartedly in telling the truth at all times, and object to giving an oath in court as that would imply that the truth they told there is somehow truer than the truths they speak in every day life.  The courts recognized that Quakers did indeed speak truthfully all the time, hence the exception made for them in 1695, although now anyone who objects to giving an oath has the right to affirm embodied in the Oaths Act 1978.  I myself am a Quaker, and when I registered my overseas marriage in my embassy I gave an affirmation to the consular official rather than an oath.

We will come back to these dictionary definitions in a moment.  But first, let us look at how a personal development coach would view an affirmation.

Affirmation in a Personal Development Context

The purpose of an affirmation is to help you move towards a particular goal.  It works by sending a signal to the Universe (or God, or your subconscious, depending on your own particular beliefs) that this is what you want to achieve and then asking for help in achieving it.

You may have a goal, for example, of becoming wealthy.  One of your affirmations may then be something like this:

"I have $1 million dollars in my bank account."

See how it is constructed in the present tense, not the future tense.  This is very important.  If, for example, you say "I will have $1 million dollars in my bank account" this does not signal any urgency.  It may be you will be happy to have that much in 50 years time, when it may only be worth ten thousand dollars in today's money, or even less!  But it is also no good saying something like "I will have $1 million dollars in my bank account by next Tuesday".  Firstly that is a very big ask if you only have a thousand dollars in your account right now and no clear idea where you are going to get the remaining nine hundred and ninety nine thousand.  Secondly, believe it or not the Universe will hear "next Tuesday" and will therefore assume nothing need be done about it until then - so you will miss any opportunities that might otherwise have arisen between now and then.

Now let us go back to that dictionary definition of "public" and "emphatic".

Making your affirmation public in some way can be very helpful as long as you do it with care.  Be selective in who you define as your public audience.  You should gather around you a group of likeminded people who will support you in achieving your goals (and, of course, you must support them too).  Make your affirmations to them so they know what they are supporting.  When doing this do not be surprised if you find your family members and friends (even very close friends) are not very supportive and should not be included in your affirmation support group.  I would go as far as to say it is quite rare for family or friends to be suitable for this.

The second word is extremely important.  Emphatic.  Say it out loud in a strong, confident voice.  Believe it with all your being.

Clearing Blocks

When you try to be emphatic and believing you may find a tremor comes into your voice.  You may feel silly saying it.  If that is the case (and it often is) you will know you have some blocks you need to clear before your affirmation will really be able to work properly for you.  These blocks can be any of a number of things.  Sticking with the million dollar affirmation, one block may be that somewhere inside of you is a belief that having lots of money is evil.  Consciously you may know that it is not evil, but that does not mean you don't have that belief somewhere deep inside you.  This block may have arisen when you were a small child.  Perhaps you heard your parents arguing about money and you came to believe that money causes arguments and therefore must be a bad thing.  Try to dig into your subconscious and find out what your blocks are.  Once you have exposed them you will probably find they wither and die - they cannot survive in the light of truth which you will focus on them.

Finding and clearing blocks associated with your affirmations is not an easy task.  I have given you one technique which I hope you will find helpful, but many of these blocks are so deeply ingrained and so deeply hidden you may need more help unearthing and dealing with them.  Try using the following free tool to find what blocks may be hindering you:

http://www.mindmovies.com/abundancerating/index.php?25923&a_bid=edcc527f

When you have cleared any blocks that may be there you should find a big difference in the way you are able to use your affirmation.  You should now find you can attach some strong positive emotions to it.  If not, then perhaps you are aiming at the wrong thing and need to change your affirmation!

Affirmation Replacing Oaths

Let us look again at the second dictionary definition of affirmation.

You will recall Quakers were first allowed to affirm rather than give an oath because they tell the truth at all times.  The affirmation of a Quaker in court is accepted as a powerful statement which should not in any way contain any kind of falsehood.  This, too, links to the way you need to use your affirmations.  There should be a kind of purity in them.  You should know as you state them that this is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!  Don't worry about the fact that you don't actually have $1 million dollars in your bank account right now.  Don't imagine for one minute that there is any conflict between that material fact and the underlying truth that you DO have this money.  Know that you have it, and that the power of absolute truth is behind it.  This is the way to apply your affirmations and find that they really do work!

Finally, where can you find good, positive affirmations to help you achieve your goals?  I have an mp3 with a set of perfectly framed affirmations in a calm female voice with relaxing background sounds, which will ensure your mind is properly attuned to achieving whatever goals you have set yourself. Listen to this when you wake every morning and you will soon be well on your way to achieving all your goals!  You can obtain this mp3 here:

https://uk.fiverr.com/grahamdragon/give-you-a-tool-to-achieve-all-your-goals-faster

How to Achieve Goals

Do you want to achieve your goals?  Really?

That may sound like a silly question, but it is not so silly.  The reason many people do not achieve their goals is because they don't really want to.  Not seriously.  Not passionately.

Very often, this is because they are the right goals in the first place.  Are your goals aligned with your inner values?  If they are not you will find it very difficult to achieve them, because deep down you will not really want to achieve them.  I suggest you read my article on alignment to find out how to identify your inner values and align your goals with them.

Once you are sure you have aligned goals make sure you write them down.  Next to having the wrong goals in the first place a big reason for failing to achieve your goals is because you have not written them down.  Until you do they are more vague desires than real goals.

Check your written goals carefully.  Are they long term, medium term or short term?  You probably have a mix of all three.  In fact you SHOULD have a mix of all three.  Sort them accordingly.  For each of the long term goals make sure you have a short term and a medium term goal as well.  The long term goals can be things people around you would say are unrealistic.  In fact, they probably should be or otherwise you are not aiming high enough.  The medium term goals should be things the people around you would probably say are ambitious but not impossible.  Those in the "short term" pile should be readily achievable.

Your short term goals should be SMART.  That means they are specific, measurable, agreed, realistic (even if it will be a bit of a challenge), and timed.

• Specific means you cut out all the wooliness.  It is absolutely clear what that goal is.
• Measurable means there is an objective measure that will confirm exactly when you have reached that goal.
• Agreed means you have committed to achieving it.  A surprisingly large number of people do not do this, and those people rarely achieve their goals.  Consider it a binding contract you make with yourself.
• Realistic, well it is pretty obvious what that means.  But make sure you don't dumb it down so it is too easy to achieve.  Make sure you really have something to aim for rather than a walk in the park.
• Timed means you have a specific date by which you want to achieve this goal.

Medium term goals may also be SMART, but some of those elements may be missing.

Long term goals should not be SMART at all.  They may be completely unrealistic.  They may not be clearly defined.  I like to say something like "I achieve this or something better", as the universe may indeed have something much better in store for me.  Don't force yourself into a "contract" to achieve it, as firstly you may inwardly squirm and feel you cannot achieve it, and secondly as I have already said, the universe may have something better in store for you.

With your short and medium term goals, make sure they are leading you towards your long term goals.  Surprisingly often, people find their short term goals in particular are moving them in completely the wrong direction.  The word "alignment" is important here again.

Now that you know you have the right goals, have written them down, and have classified them you need to build that passion that will make you really want to achieve them.  Imagine what your life will be like once you have achieved a goal.  If your goal is to lose a certain amount of weight, imagine yourself in the clothes you will be able to wear.  Picture your beautiful or handsome body and the impact it will have on the people around you.  If it is to have earned a certain amount of money, imagine what difference that will make to your life, what you will be able to do with it.  Focus on the reason you want to achieve your goal and then really feel as though you have already achieved it.  Hold on to that feeling.  Doesn't it really make you feel good?

Create a vision board for your goals.  Use it like a kind of scrap book, putting in pictures and symbols of what it is you want to achieve.

Or even better, create a video with goal affirming music and pictures and written affirmations against the pictures.  This is an extremely powerful technique, far more effective than the traditional static vision board.  Sound difficult?  Well it isn't if you have the right tools to do it.  You can get a copy of those tools here:  http://www.mindmovies.com/products/order_mindmovies.php?25923

Affirm your goals at least twice a day, when you wake and before you sleep, and preferably more often than this.  Your affirmations must always be positive and always in the present tense.  Do not say "I am not ill" - say "I am healthy".  Do not say "I will have a million pounds in my bank account" - say "I have a million pounds in my bank account".

As you achieve each short term goal, refer to your medium and long term goals and replace the achieved goal with a more ambitious one that takes you in the right direction.

If you implement all the steps I have outlined here you will have a really good strategy in place to achieve all your goals!

How to Become Successful

So many of my followers approach me and ask me how to become successful.

What exactly must you do to become successful?

The very first thing to do is to recognize that you CAN and WILL become successful.  Until you do this you will find there will always be a nagging voice inside you, no matter what you are trying to achieve, saying "you won't make it!".  The voice is wrong.  You WILL make it.  But only if you completely silence that reactionary voice.

Somewhere I read that when Karl Benz was building the Benz Patent-Motorwagen a neighbour kept saying "It won't go!".  He ignored the neighbour and kept building it.  When he finished and started driving it he heard the neighbour shouting "It won't stop!".  I have no idea whether this story is true or not, but it doesn't really matter whether or not it is true.  All that matters is the great truth within it.  Karl Benz ignored that voice completely and achieved his success.  You must do likewise.

How do you ignore or even silence that voice?  By having a strong belief that you are right and that it WILL work.  Spend time building up that confidence.  Sit quietly and meditate.  Feel yourself merging with the power of the Universe, which you can imagine as a ball of light way above you.  Bring it down inside you and feel the warmth and love of it filling you.  Know that with this infinite power within you can achieve anything you desire.

This is a practice you should repeat often.  Make it a routine part of your day.  The more you practice it the easier you will find it and the more you will be able to ignore and defeat that dissenting voice, the voice that wants you to fail at everything.

You will now have removed the main obstacle to success.  The next step is to determine what it is you want to achieve.

It is important to have a very clear idea of what it is you want to achieve, and why this is important to you.

Spend some time thinking carefully about this.  Write down any ideas that come to you.  Treat this in the same way as you would a group brainstorming session - at this point write down everything, without critically rejecting it.  When you have a good list of ideas read through each and see which ones really resonate with you.  cross out all the others.  You now have a list of things you want to achieve which are close to your heart.

Against each of these ideas write down all the reasons they are important to you.  As you do this you will find some are not really goals you want to achieve, and you can delete these.  You should find you end up with a minmum of three and a maximum of six that feel right and that have a good list of reasons why they are so important.

For each of these goals sit and meditate again.  Begin your meditation by recalling a time in your past when you felt really happy and really relaxed.  Perhaps it was lying on a beach during a special vacation.  Maybe it was wandering in a meadow in cool, fresh air.  Whatever it was, bring back that image.  Place yourself there and let it stimulate all your senses.  See the beauty around you.  Hear the sounds you heard, perhaps the sound of birds.  Smell the salty air of the sea, the fresh smell of flowers around you etc.  Feel the soft, fine sand pouring through your fingers, the feel of the waving grass as you walk through it etc.  Recall your feelings at that time, a feeling of happiness, contentment, love.  When you are fully into this meditation bring in your goal.  Does it still feel right?  If not, discard that goal and replace it with the next goal on your list.  You will find one really fits and feels just right.  This is the goal you should work on next.

Now that you have the right goal, create an affirmation around it.  Follow the rules of making good affirmations.  Read this article by Natalie Ledwell to get some good ideas on the correct way to create an affirmation: http://iwanttoimprovemyself.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/5-simple-steps-for-creating-powerful.html.  Repeat this affirmation as often as you can.  The more you repeat it the faster you will achieve your goal.

Write the goal in a notebook you reserve purely for this purpose.  Include pictures of how your life will be when you have achieved it - either pictures you find in a magazine etc and cut out and stick in the notebook, or simply draw them yourself.  It doesn't matter if you are not artistic - just ensure the picture encapsulates your dream as much as possible.  Even better, create yourself a "mind movie" of the goal.  If you don't already have the software to create a Mind Movie you can get it here: http://www.mindmovies.com/mm4/changeyourlife.php?25923.

Follow the above and you WILL achieve goals fully aligned with your inner desires.  But the key to success has one more essential ingredient.  That ingredient is simply recognizing that success is not actually achieving specific goals at all.  Success is an ongoing journey, and the knowledge that you are on the right road.  You never reach the end of that road but are successful simply because you are travelling it and achieving goals along the way.

Love

Love is the most important force in the universe.  When you project love you attract whatever and whoever it is that you love.  The greater the love the stronger the attraction.

Whatever it is you want to achieve in life, therefore, it is so important to develop love.  A genuine and deep love.

"Love what?" you may ask.  A good question.  My answer is you should love everything.

Some may disagree with this statement and say you should only love the positives in life and not the negatives.  How can you love evil for example?  I don't disagree with that, but in my view the negatives do not really exist.  They are simply the absence of the positives.  Not everyone will agree with my take on this and I don't intend to push it here - so simply accept that, yes, I am saying love everything positive.

You should start by loving yourself.  This is something many people find very difficult.  The more difficult you find it, though, the more important it is to love yourself.  Lack of love for yourself results in a lack of self-esteem, a lack of belief in yourself, an inability to move forwards and achieve what you want to achieve.  It will also make it far more difficult, if not impossible, to love anyone and anything else.

Love your whole self.

Love your body, with all its imperfections.  If you see something in your body that you do not like, and if it is something you can and should change, then change it.  But if it cannot be changed then love it how it is.  A number of religious denominations refer to the body as the temple of God.  Whether you refer to "God", "the Self", "the Universe" or something similar, this is very true.  Your body is where this Spirit is living at the moment, so love it and treat it well.

Love your mind.  Don't worry if you don't have an IQ of 140 or more.  That doesn't matter.  This is your mind, unique to you, and it deserves to be loved.

Love your spirit.  That spark within you that leads you along a certain path.  A path that eventually you can see was exactly the right path for you.  Love this spirit and thank it for all it has contributed to your life.

Really get into the habit of loving yourself until it becomes a natural, seamless habit.

Extend that love to everyone around you.  Starting with your family, but extending outwards.  Everyone deserves your love, so give it to them.  Even those you may feel do NOT deserve it.  You cannot judge them.  Just love them.

You will start to see some amazing results quite quickly.  Not necessarily from everyone, but certainly from some.  People can sense when you really love them and they will begin to respond in kind.  Your love will get reflected back - sometimes from directions you least expect.  Sometimes from someone you thought was a miserable unloving person.

Go further than this.  Love the things you want to attract into your life.  Don't focus on the absence of those things, simply love them.

At this point I am going to be quite controversial.  Love money.  I can already hear the growls of those who believe it is wrong to love money.  After all, 1 Timothy 6:10 says "For the love of money is the root of all evil".  Ecclesiastes 5:10 says "If you love money and wealth you will never be satisfied with what you have".  But neither author really meant you should not love money in the way I intend.  You are simply extending a natural love and including money within it.  I am not talking about developing avarice and greed, but rather pure love.  Don't be like so many people who don't have money and then start developing a hatred of money because they do not have it.  You should love money and attract it to you, but then make sure you use it in a positive way.  Money itself is neutral, not evil.  Love it so you can use it to help others.  There is a story about Rabbi Avraham Yehoshua Heshel which I think brings a little clarity to this rather difficult subject.  This Rabbi said that he looked on money kindly before gifting it to the poor - in this way he valued the gift he was making as a way of expressing the love of God.

I hope I have opened your eyes and made you think about love differently.  Develop love and cherish it above all things.