The Purpose of Life

What is the purpose of life?

Have you ever asked yourself this question?  I would be very surprised if you haven't.  But what is the answer?

Would it surprise you to know that there are over 7 billion genuine, but different, answers?

The answer to the question "what is the purpose of life" is deep within you.  Or, rather, "what is the purpose of my life".  The word "MY" is key, and is the reason there are so many different answers.  We each have our own unique answer.

It is, of course, possible to generalize and thereby create a broad answer which fits many people.  For example, if I were to say "the purpose of life is to make the world a better place" I imagine many (but not all) of my readers would agree.  Some would want it phrased as "the purpose of life is to follow the will of God (or Allah)", but that would usually mean something very similar to the first generalized answer I gave.  Many others (those who believe in reincarnation) would agree that "the purpose of life is to learn important lessons", or "to become a better person".

My own view, actually, is that all four answers I have given in the above paragraph are true.  But do not feel that the answer for you has to fit within one or more of those models.  As I have said, there are over 7 billion answers, some of which will probably look quite different.

A broad answer, though, is really not good enough.  This is the most important question you will ever ask yourself.  You should dig deeper and find the answer which fits you.  The unique answer, the one in 7 billion which is what should be guiding your path through this life.

Tragically, most people never truly ask themselves this question.  They may ask it as a general question, not really addressed to themselves, and then decide there is no way to answer it.  If you pose it as a general question, then there IS no way to answer it.  The question must be specifically addressed to you as an individual, not as some broad philosophical enquiry.

If you go through life without ever asking yourself this question, and more importantly without getting an answer, you will waste your opportunity to make a difference.  If you do make a difference it will be more accidental than purposive.  You will also not be as happy as you should be, not feel as achieved, not gain the success you deserve.  After all, how can you be successful if you don't even know what "successful" means for you?  This is the reason you will find many people who would be regarded by most of us as "successful", yet who feel empty and not at all successful.  The success they have achieved is not fully aligned with their real purpose in life and therefore leaves them still feeling empty.

By now you may be asking "but how do I find my own purpose in life?"  That is a very good question.  Ask it!  Even by asking that question you are getting much closer to the answer than most people ever will, even those the world believes are successful.

Begin asking yourself this question, doing so regularly.  Don't get frustrated that there may not be an immediate answer.  Just sit and meditate with the question in mind.  Wait on the Universe, the Self, God, Allah, your Spirit Guide, or your Guardian Angel - whatever or whoever you believe will give you the answer.  Keep asking, and the answer will come.  And when it comes, make sure your desires and your goals are aligned with the purpose of your life.  Do this and you will be far happier and far more successful than the great majority who never even ask themselves this question.

What is the purpose of life?  I hope that soon you will be able to answer!

Thought Form Blocks

Have you ever tried to achieve something but found no matter what you did there was always something in the way completely blocking your progress?

Frankly, I will be amazed if you say this has never happened to you.  If you do feel you are an exception to the rule I would even suggest it has still happened to you but you were simply not aware of it at the time.

If you feel there is something blocking you, almost certainly there is.  It is unlikely to be pure coincidence.

Usually these blocks are internal, not external.  It is important to recognize this.  Do not start to think the universe is conspiring against you, or there is some evil spirit out there preventing you from achieving what you wish to achieve.

I can guarantee the universe is NOT conspiring against you.  The universe simply does not do this.  It may, though, be responding to unintended messages you are giving it.  For example, maybe you are studying to become a lawyer, but you fail every exam you sit even though you are studying really hard and you know you are intelligent enough to make it.  Why, then, do you keep failing?  I would suggest in a case like this it is because deep within you do not actually want to be a lawyer!  Perhaps you think you want to be a lawyer because your parents encouraged you from an early age to choose this career path.  Deep inside you don't really want to be a lawyer, but this resistance is hidden so deeply within you that even you cannot see it.  You cannot see it, but the universe can.  Your soul sends out messages telling the universe this is not what you want for your life, and the universe hears and responds.  This is not a conspiracy by the universe to stop you, but rather a co-operation by the universe with your inner self.

It is also quite unlikely there is an evil spirit blocking you.  I say this not because I don't believe in evil spirits.  Actually I DO believe in them.  But I also believe they do not normally interfere in this way unless you invite them in or a powerful magician evokes them specifically to act against you.  If you have undertaken an invocation ritual, in which you invite a spirit to take you over for a while, this could have got out of control and that spirit might now be blocking you in some way.  But if that has happened you will already know it!  Likewise, if you have upset a powerful magician enough to make them wish to cause you harm you will probably already know this too.  In both cases you will need deeper help than I can give you in a short blog article.

Most blocks are what I would call "thought forms" rather than evil spirits.  At some point in the past, maybe in your early childhood (and, if you believe in reincarnation, perhaps long before you were born into this existence), you created the block yourself.  You created an intention, for example an intention not to acquire wealth, and then you breathed life into that intention so it became a "thought form".  These thought forms are extremely powerful, especially if they have been around for some time and you have reinforced their power many times over.

Why would anybody do such a thing?  Is it very rare, or is it commonplace?

Unfortunately, this is not a rare occurence at all.  I would go as far as to say that almost certainly you have a number of such self-created, negative thought forms surrounding with you. They travel with you, always there ready to block you in your endeavours which are contrary to what you originally told them you wanted.

There can be many different reasons for creating a thought form block.  More often than not, the reason is quite illogical.  Say, for example, as a young child you heard your parents arguing.  You didn't really understand what the argument was about, but you kept hearing the word money.  You therefore associated "money" with "arguments" and created a thought form block to prevent you acquiring money so that you wouldn't have to suffer the pain of arguments.  Every time there was an argument about money, the strength of this thought form increased.  It may also have been increased in other ways.  Perhaps an adult told you that money is the root of evil, or that it is wrong to want money.  Your thought form block has absorbed all such comments and increased its strength through them.  Anything that is said or that happens which contradicts the "world view" of your thought form block is just ignored, but everything that supports it is absorbed and strengthens it.  Over all the years since it was first created, this thought form has become extremely powerful, able to negate all the efforts you put in to becoming wealthy.

Thought form blocks can cover many areas.  A block on becoming wealthy is extremely common.  In fact, I would go as far as to say that most of us have such a block.  Another very common block is a relationship block.  This may have very similar roots.  Most couples have arguments from time to time, no matter how loving their relationship.  A small child may witness such an argument and then believe that if you enter into a relationship you will have arguments (which is almost certainly true, but is most certainly not the whole truth).  To a simplistic, childish logic the answer to avoid the pain of arguments is to avoid entering into a relationship.

How can you reduce the power of your thought form blocks, and eventually destroy those blocks altogether?

The first step you must take is to identify the blocks.  Sit quietly by yourself and begin meditating.  Focus on one of your objectives during that meditation.  See what thoughts and feelings arise as you meditate on it.  Try to become particularly sensitive to any negative thoughts and feelings that may arise.  As such thought forms appear, start to dissolve the block by using positive affirmation.  Feel the power of the block gradually disappearing as you focus on the positives.

In order to do this properly you will, of course, need a number of very good positive affirmations.  You will need to know why it is you want wealth, a good career, happy relationships, or whatever else it is you are gtrying to achieve.  Really feel the good, positive power of your objective.  It is this power you will use to confront the block that appears.

This is only one way of countering Thought Form Blocks.  There are many other ways of doing this, with perhaps the most effective being with the aid of a good coach specializing in this kind of exercise.  But the mere fact that you have now recognized the existence of the block is a major step forwards.  Once you have done this, keep up that forward momentum and you will start to see a big improvement in your ability to use affirmation properly and achieve your goals.

If you want to try out a coach specializing in this, you may be interested in a free program offered by Carol Tuttle.  You can find out more about this free program here.

The Ethics of Money

A few weeks ago I wrote about money.  This is a subject many "spiritual" people find challenging.  But it is also something we must all address unless we decide to go and live on a desert island.  We each have our own slightly different take on the subject.  You may find you disagree completely with mine, but hopefully not.

What are the ethics of having and using money?

My belief is that correct stewardship of money is highly ethical.  It is something that is required of all of us.  Notice my choice of word here - "stewardship".  One definition of stewardship is "responsibility to shepherd and safeguard the valuable of others".  So do I mean that our money belongs to someone else, not to us?  Yes, I do!

Money is not something you keep forever.  For a start, you will not be taking it with you when you leave this life.  Ancient Greeks and Romans believed it was necessary to pay a bribe to Charon, the ferryman whose job was to take you over the river between life and death.  But "Charon's obol" was just a single coin, not all the wealth the deceased had acquired during life.

Money belongs to society, not to you.  Some of your money is taken directly by society in the form of taxes which pay for all the services you enjoy.  But even the money that is not taken in taxes still really belongs to society.  If you are looking after it properly it is not hoarded by you and kept locked away - it flows through you.  As it flows, you can enjoy the benefits which come to you.  Be grateful for those benefits, and at the same time make sure the flow is not interrupted.  Some people do not allow it to flow properly, trying to keep it and all its benefits just for themselves.  Those same people also usually do not feel or express any gratitude for the benefits their money brings.  This is a very short-sighted attitude.  It is not only unethical, but also self-defeating.  Those of my readers who are Christian probably know the following quote very well:

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal." (Matthew 6:19)

Many people interpret that verse as saying it is unethical to acquire money.  But this is not what it says.  In my interpretation this verse tells me not to dam the flow of money, trying to keep it for myself, but instead to allow it to flow through me, bringing benefits not only to me but to those around me.

If you truly allow money to flow through you then you will find more and more comes to you.  Especially if you feel and show gratitude for it.  But if you have a very selfish attitude, feeling that only you should benefit from it and trying to stop the outward flow, you will find the inward flow also slows and less and less comes to you.  This is almost a law of nature.

Think about it for a moment.  When you use money it passes from you to someone else.  Presumably you receive something in exchange for the money, so you now have a benefit you did not have before the transaction.  This may be a very tangible, immediate benefit such as a nice meal at a restaurant.  Or it may be something less tangible and providing a benefit at some time in the future - for example a deposit on a holiday.  But whatever it is, you now have a benefit (or a right to a benefit) for which you should be grateful.  This is only one side of the transaction though.  The person to whom you paid the money now has more money.  If they are in business they may use some of that money to pay wages to their employees.  If enough money flows through them they may employ more staff.  So by allowing that money to flow through you, not only are you benefiting from whatever it is you are buying, but so are other people.  The business owner who may now be able to expand his or her business benefits.  So do the employees of that business who are employed only because you and others like you have allowed that money to flow.

As long as the people to whom you pay the money allow that money to flow through them as well, that flow continues on and on.  Just a small amount of money has a ripple effect that benefits so many people in so many different ways

This is why I think of the "ownership" of money as "stewardship".  You will not keep it.  It is your job to use it responsibly, allowing it to flow to others, bringing both you and them (and many others you have never even met) many different benefits.

Do not misunderstand me though.  I am not saying that you must go out and spend all your money, not saving or investing any of it!  That is not what I mean at all when I say you must allow it to flow through you.  It would most certainly not be ethical to spend it all and then rely on others to provide for your needs later.  Again, the word "stewardship" comes into play here.  Certainly invest your money so that you will have more to use in the future and will not have to rely on the charity of others or the safety net provided by the state.  Allowing money to flow is a state of mind, accepting that money belongs to the Universe, and that you are simply its custodian for a short period of time.  During that short time (your lifetime) it is your responsibility to see that it flows properly, providing the right benefits to you and to others.

Some of your money will (or at least should) be used mainly to bring benefits to others rather than to you.  For example any payments you may make to charities.  I say "mainly", though, as in reality this also brings you a benefit - the benefit of knowing you have done the right thing, of knowing you have helped others and that their lives are now better as a result of the gift you have made.

Think about how you are using your money, and make sure this is fully aligned with your core inner beliefs.  This is the true ethics of money - the ethics of right use, whether that is direct spending or investment.  You cannot be responsible for how others may end up using the money you have allowed to flow through you to them, but there are certainly some very obvious distinctions you can make when deciding how to use and invest your money.

From now on, never allow yourself to feel that money is evil, a burden, or something you have to grasp and hold on to.  Allow it to flow through you.  Channel it in ways that bring good into the world around you.  And feel and express gratitude all the time for the benefits that flow of money is bringing to you and all those in contact with you.

Learning from Ramadan

If you are reading this article at the time I have published it, Ramadan has just begun.  I am sure all of my Muslim friends reading this need no reminder, but those of us who are not Muslims may not have been aware.

One reason for writing about Ramadan is to make sure you know what it entails and do not inadvertently do anything which might cause your Muslim friends embarrassment.  This blog is all about personal development, and I believe a very important aspect of personal development is to learn to respect the beliefs of others even if you do not share them, and to avoid doing anything which might hurt those around you in any way.

Another reason is that I strongly believe there is much to be learned from the beliefs and practices of those who do not share our own beliefs.  Having studied what happens in Ramadan, and why, I find many things which I think are helpful to anyone learning to become a better person.

So, what actually does happen during Ramadan?  I am not a Muslim, so if any of my Muslim friends spots errors in what I have written, please let me know.  I have taken great care and tried to be accurate, but am happy to correct what I have written if I have misinterpreted anything.

Even my friends who have had little or no contact with those of the Muslim faith probably know one key fact about Ramadan - that it is forbidden to eat or drink from dawn until sunset.  There are some important and practical exceptions to this rule though.  If you are ill, elderly, pregnant, breastfeeding, or diabetic you do not need to fast.  The same applies if you are travelling.  It is really up to you to decide whether your own circumstances fall within one of those exceptions solidly enough to mean you should eat and / or drink.  Where practical you should then try to fast outside the month of Ramadan to make up for the fact that you could not do so during Ramadan.  Clearly this does not apply where the reason is simply that you are elderly or diabetic.

During Ramadan it is not permissible to make love between dawn and sunset.

Putting these two prohibitions together, this means during the daylight hours you are practising abstinence from what are perhaps the most compelling and enjoyable human pleasures.  Such a practice is a very good discipline for anyone learning to become a better person.  Why?  Certainly not because there is anything wrong with eating, drinking, or making love.  But because learning to practise self-discipline is a very important aspect of personal development.  The more self-discipline you have, the higher up the ladder of personal development you can climb.  Note, though, the important balance introduced in Ramadan.  Are we told to fast and abstain from sex throughout Ramadan?  No, we are not.  Only during daylight hours.  As long as you don't live in Rovaniemi (or even further north) this gives you plenty of time during which you can eat, drink and enjoy making love - every single night of the festival.  I believe balance like this is very important.  Struggling to remain abstinent for days or weeks at a time is really not necessary when learning self control skills.  You are much more likely to be successful if you follow the teachings of the Quran in this regard rather than trying to be completely abstinent, day and night, and perhaps finding your motivation to continue dwindles.

There are also other abstinences which you must observe during your fast, such as swearing, gossiping and lying.  Obviously you are not expected to do any of these things at any time, but it is especially important to abstain from them during Ramadan.  If you do any of those things, or anything else that is clearly wrong, it is as though you have also broken your fast.  You may as well not have bothered to fast in the first place.  In the case of these things you do not have an exemption during the hours of darkness.

Ramadan is not, though, simply about abstinence.  During Ramadan a good Muslim thinks deeply about his or her faith.  It is a time for spiritual development, a time to purify your heart and soul.  The time that would otherwise be spent eating, drinking (and perhaps also making love) is time that can be used instead for spiritual exercises.  For a Muslim, this period of reflection will most certainly include reading the Quran.  For my readers who are not Muslim and who want to adopt a practice similar to that of Ramadan for their own personal development, they may not wish to read the Quran, but I suggest it would be a very good idea to spend time reading spiritual works of one kind or another.

Just as bad deeds are strictly forbidden during Ramadan, good deeds are particularly encouraged.  This includes, but is certainly not limited to, giving generously to charity.  And "charity" is also very broadly defined anyway in this sense.  For example, when the fast is broken after sunset it is considered good to share one's food with others.  In many cases this is simply with family and friends, much as Americans share the blessings of the earth with family and close friends at Thanksgiving, but it is also considered good to share with those who may not be able to afford the good food you have perhaps kept aside for breaking your fast.

Now that you are more aware of what is involved in Ramadan, please try to remember this when talking and making arrangements with Muslim friends.  For example, remember that they are not allowed to eat or drink during the day, so please do not try to invite them to lunch, or even to dinner if it is early in the evening before the sun has set.

If you have read this far and are interested in any form of self development I hope you have seen that the practices of pious Muslims during their festival of Ramadan might be a good thing to practise in order to accelerate that self development.  It may even be that some Muslims will look at their own practices during Ramadan and realize they should be using their time during Ramadan more effectively for their own spiritual development. 

If you are not a Muslim you may simply wish to pick out certain aspects as outlined above and see if you can incorporate them in your own practices.  But if you have Muslim friends maybe a good way to do this would be to ask them if they would mind if you tried to share their spiritual practices with them during Ramadan.  Don't push it if they seem less than enthusiastic, but you may find they like the idea and are very willing to share their beliefs and practices.  If so, this should not only help you develop practices which I strongly believe will help you in your self development, but also strengthen your friendship with Muslim acquaintances and increase your understanding of their faith.  Anything that increases understanding between people of different faiths has to be a very good thing in a world in which misunderstandings and prejudices are so common.

Love Yourself

Do you love yourself?  If not, why not?  If yes, how do you express that love?

You have probably heard the expression "charity begins at home".  Unfortunately it is frequently used just as an excuse to ignore help that people further from home really need.  But in essence it is true.  In the King James Bible, the word "charity" is an interpretation of the Greek word "agape", and it really means unselfish love.  A love that just keeps giving without needing anything in return.  Compassion.  It certainly does not mean paying some money to a worthy concern and then considering you have done your duty and do not need to be compassionate.

So let's rephrase.  "Love begins at home".  In fact, love begins with loving yourself.  If you do not love yourself you will find it very difficult to love others.  Conversely, if you truly love yourself you will find you begin to create room to love others, beginning with those around you and expanding to the point where you love the entire universe.

I am not talking here about narcissism.  I am talking about true love as contained in the word "agape".  A love that is committed to the well-being of its object.  If you are interested at all in personal development, this is the starting point.  You have to be committed to your own true well-being.  This really encompasses everything.  You will not abuse your body or your mind or your spirit, because you love them and wish them to be developed in the best possible way.  The mormons in particular talk about recognizing your body as a temple, as do most other Christians.  Treat it with respect.  Look after it.  Love it.  Do this and it will serve you well.  The same goes for your mind and your spirit.  Develop it.  Cherish it.

When you love someone you probably give them treats.  If you are married, can you remember what you did when you first went out with your spouse?  Did you give unexpected gifts?  Not just on birthdays and anniversaries and at Christmas, but at unexpected times?  Remember the pleasure that gave you as well as the pleasure it gave your spouse?  Do the same to yourself.  Give yourself treats.  Not all the time of course.  I am not encouraging you to be self-indulgent.  But get into the habit of treating yourself every so often.

You also need to spend time alone with the one you love rather than only ever being with them in a crowd.  Do the same for yourself.  Have "me" time.  I suggest you do this every day for at least a few minutes, and for much longer at least once a week.  Even an occasional full day of "me" time.  What do I mean by "me" time?  I cannot really answer that, as it will depend entirely on you.  It means different things to different people.  If you don't know the answer then that means you are certainly not spending enough time on yourself and must learn to love yourself more.

As you learn to love yourself more, and practise doing what you have learned, you will begin to see how you should love others more.  And so your self love will begin to blossom as love for others.

I suggest you incorporate both self love and love for others in a daily meditation practice.  Begin by feeling every bit of your body and start to feel love for it.  Feel a sphere extending from your centre and encompassing your whole body.  Then, as you become comfortable with this, expand this sphere so it includes your whole house and everything and everyone within it.  Keep centred and expand that sphere again.  Now it includes all your friends and relatives.  Expand it again to include all those you work with and those you have fleeting contact with.  Keep expanding, so it now includes people you have never met, people all over the world.  Feel deep compassion for them.  Then expand again so it includes not just all the people in the world but also the world itself and everything within it.  Now recognize that you are star dust (yes, you really are!) - so expand your love to include the whole universe of stars and of everything that has come from those stars.

Love is a two way street, even if sometimes it does not seem to be.  Yes, there will be times when your unconditional love is not returned to you by the object of your love, but it will still be returned to you from somewhere.  As you start loving yourself and then expanding outwards until that love encompasses the entire universe, so the universe will return that love to you.  This will happen gradually and not necessarily in very obvious ways, but happen it will.

So, beginning today, practice self love, expand it, and love the entire universe.  I think you will be surprised by what will start to happen in your life when you do this!

What do you want?

What do you want in this life?  What do you want to become?  What do you want to achieve?  What do you want to acquire?  Where are you headed, and should you be headed there?

These are very important questions.  If you don't know what you want, if you get it then it will be by accident.  More likely, you will simply not get it.  If you DO know what you  want, what you REALLY want, then you have every chance of getting it.  You can start working towards it.  No matter how distant it might seem right now, every step you take can be a step closer to achieving it.  Also, if you know what you really want you can send signals to the universe that you want it, and the universe will start working with you so you can get it.

The most important step you can take in your personal development is to find out what it is you really want.  The most important step, but often the biggest and most difficult step.

Most of us think we know what we want.  We think that because we think it must be silly not to know.  Everyone knows don't they?  Actually, no.  I would say far fewer than 50% of the population really know what they want.  In fact, based on in depth interviews I would probably say only a very small percentage really know the answer to this.  That is why so few people achieve it.

Even if you think you feel quite strongly about what you want to achieve, you may be wrong.  Have you ever sat in silence and questioned yourself about your goals, about what you really want?  I strongly suggest you do that, and do it soon, even if you think you know.  If you are wrong, then every day you delay is another day of moving in the wrong direction.

Why might you think you know what you want, and yet be completely wrong?  This is far more common than you may think.  We are all impressionable beings, especially when we are young.  Perhaps your parents wanted you to achieve something and you imbibed this and then took it for your own idea.  This could be a career decision for example.  I wonder how many doctors or lawyers there are who wish they had become train drivers!  Perhaps your spouse wants you to become someone that isn't really you.  Or your friends have convinced you that you want to have something that you don't necessarily really want to have.  Maybe your employer has made you think you want to be a really good ... (fill in the gap here, depending on your job).

It is very important to cut through all this "noise" and get to the real truth.  The question "why" is a very good way to do this.

Just as an example, let's say you have decided you want to become a millionaire.  Begin by asking yourself why you want to become a millionaire.  Don't be satisfied by just the first answer, but keep digging.  For example, you may say "because I want to buy a big house".  Ask yourself why you want a big house.  How will you feel when you own it?  What will you do with it?  When you answer those questions, ask yourself "why" again.  Keep asking it.  Keep digging deeper and deeper to find out exactly why you have this desire.

You might be surprised with some of the answers you get.  Sometimes the answers will reveal that you were wishing for the wrong thing.  Maybe not completely wrong, but still not quite right.  Perhaps the reason you wanted to become a millionaire is that you want to live in a nice house by the sea.  But do you need to be a millionaire to achieve that?  Do you even need to be at all wealthy to achieve it?  I am not saying that a desire to be very wealthy is wrong, but just that you should know, in depth, exactly why you want this.  By doing this you will be able to think laterally and achieve some of those things without needing to wait to become wealthy.

I like to think of this process as peeling to the core of our being.  In our outer layer we have the things that everyone around us can see.  Peel that back and there are the things that our friends and family see.  Peel that back again and there are the things that only our closest friends and family can see - perhaps just our spouse or life partner.  Peel that layer back and you will find things that not even your closest friends and family know about - just the things we alone know.  Then peel that layer back and find the things even you didn't know about yourself.  That is when the real work is done.

Bear in mind as you do this that you are not looking to be purely selfish about things.  You are not saying "I am going to be what I want to be, do what I want to do, acquire what I want to acquire, and never mind anyone else!".  You are just trying to get to the bottom of what it is you really want.  Having done that, you may decide that one of the things you really want is to please your spouse.  So whatever that thing is your spouse wants you to achieve you will work on achieving.  Not necessarily because you want that per se but because you do really want to please your spouse.  It would be a good idea, though, at that point to include your spouse in the exercise.  Get your spouse to ask the same questions about what they want.  If they realize the dream they had for you is not a shared dream but that you are ready and willing to make it so, that should strengthen your relationship with them.  But at the same time they may now change their own ideas about what they want for you.  You will be sharing your dreams together instead of trying to make each other live a dream that may not be the right thing for either of you.

Don't expect, though, that all of your initial beliefs about what you want will be wrong.  Some most certainly will be.  But others may not.  The exercise is equally valuable for those things that you do really want.  By asking "why" and keeping on asking it as you go deeper and deeper you will awaken inner powers that will align with the universe and help you achieve those things.  This is an exercise that is vital if you really want to be all that you can be and achieve all that you can achieve.

Don't try to become what others want you to be.  Don't change just to make others like you.  Change because you want to change.  Find out what you really want to be and then become that.  Do that, and the right people will love you for it.  Those who don't are people who should not be in your circle anyway.

Beginning Meditation

Do you regularly meditate?  If so I am sure you are already aware of the advantages of meditation.  If not, perhaps it is about time you started.

As a quick reminder, meditation can bring you so many benefits.  It can significantly improve your mental and physical health.  It can slow the aging process.  It can make you happier.  It can make you far more productive.  It can help you see where you are going wrong, perhaps in your work, perhaps in your relationships, perhaps in one or more of your hobbies, and how to put right whatever it is that is going wrong.  It can make you calmer and less stressed.  It can help you concentrate better.  It can help you work better.  It can lead you to much greater self-awareness.  Combine it with the techniques of affirmation and manifestation and it can greatly accelerate your progress towards your goals.  Need I go on?

Some people argue that they don't have time to meditate.  If this is you, forgive me but I have to tell you that is complete rubbish!  Whatever tasks you have to complete, I can pretty much guarantee that regular meditation will help you complete them better and faster.  Just 10 or 15 minutes of meditation every day will save you more than the 10 or 15 minutes you spend doing it.  If you are too busy, that is not a reason not to meditate - it is a very good reason why you SHOULD meditate!

Another reason people often give for not meditating is that their mind quickly wanders off and therefore there is no point.  If that is the way you feel, rather than "there is no point" you are actually completely missing the point!  One of the really good benefits of regular meditation practice is that it helps you to train your mind not to wander off.  If, when you first start meditating, you find your mind is difficult to control, don't regard that as a reason not to meditate - it is a very good reason why you SHOULD meditate.

"But if my mind wanders off the moment I start trying to meditate, then I will be sitting there just wasting my time won't I?"  This is a very common question.

The answer to this question is "no, you will not be wasting your time - as long as you have the desire to improve your meditation technique".

How can you bring your wandering mind under your control?  You do this by not worrying about the fact that it is NOT under your control - yet!  Do not try to rein it in.  Do not get cross with yourself.  The more you attempt to rein it the wilder it will become, and the crosser you will get.  You will be setting yourself up for failure.

Just try this little exercise for a moment.  When was the last time you thought about a pink elephant?  A few minutes ago?  I am pretty sure that is not the case!  A few days ago?  Maybe, but probably not even then.  Probably at least a few months ago.  So if you haven't thought about a pink elephant for weeks or months, how difficult should it be not to think about one for the next two minutes?  Ridiculously easy, surely!  Try it now.  Sit quietly and for the next two minutes do not think about a pink elephant.

Have you tried this?  How did it go?  Let me guess - for the past two minutes thoughts of pink elephants have been popping in and out of your mind.  Not just once or twice, but throughout most or all of the two minutes!  Am I right?  If I am wrong, then congratulations - go to the front of the class!  But certainly most of my readers will have found this exercise simply impossible.

When the thought of a pink elephant came into your mind, what did you do about it?  Did you try to stop it?  If so, that was your big mistake.  What you should have done was simply notice it was there but not thought any more about it.  By trying to stop it you had to think about it, so that is a self-defeating exercise.  Again, be aware the thought was there, but don't get cross, don't try to stop it, just recognise it is there and allow it to move on.  You still won't win the prize for not thinking about a pink elephant, but nobody will.  What you will have done is reduce thoughts of pink elephants to a minimum, with no fuss, no mental anguish, no anger at your wayward mind.

Why did I introduce this silly exercise?

Because this is exactly the way you will handle all the obstacles your mind tries to put in the way of your meditation practice.  Do not try to stop them, to block them, to make them go away.  If you try to do any of this they will have won.  Instead of focusing on your meditation you will be focused on the interruptions.  Simply acknowledge the interruption is there but do not react to it at all.  Don't feel guilty either.  Recognize that as you start meditating this is bound to happen and that your responsibility is simply to be aware it has happened, and nothing more.  That is the only way to bring your mind under your control.

What you will find when you do this is that gradually those interrupting thoughts and feelings will seem to recede into the distance.  They will still be there, but because you are not reacting to them they will become less and less noticeable.

At this point, though, there is a big danger.  Well, two big dangers!

The first danger is you may want to congratulate yourself on controlling your wayward mind.  Don't!  The urge to congratulate yourself is, itself, an interruption of your meditation!  It may seem obvious now, but it is not so obvious when you are in the middle of your meditation.  So when you feel this urge, just acknowledge it is there but do not react to it.  Allow it to enter your mind but just notice it is there without acting on it.

The second danger is a false sense of security.  Meditation is a technique that brings your very powerful mind under your control.  Your mind does not like that and will do anything it can to stop you controlling it.  One technique it will use is to appear to have backed down, giving you that false sense of security.  Once you are settled into that state it will then return, appearing even more wayward than it did in the first place.  Many people give up at this point.  Don't give up.  The fact that it is using this technique shows it is running scared.  It can see you are succeeding and therefore it is trying even harder to make you fail.  Just keep doing what you have done from the beginning - be aware of the new attack but do not react to it.  Do not try to stop it.  Do not get angry with it.  Just be aware and continue your meditation.

Use this technique and you will find it easier and easier to meditate.  You may never completely stop the interruptions your mind tries to throw into your meditation, but they will no longer disturb you, and that attitude robs them of all their power.

If you already meditate but are frequently irritated by mental interruptions, you should find this technique of very great help.  If you do not meditate yet, and have not started because you are afraid you won't be able to maintain a "clear" mind, you should now realize that is nothing to worry about at all.  Start meditating regularly from now on and reap all the benefits I have listed and more!

Burdens

Most of us recognize that there are hurdles to cross if we want to obtain anything worthwhile.  Sometimes they are massive hurdles, but if we want it enough we will find a way over them.

What is less well known is the "burdens" each of us carries.  Before you say "I have no burdens" let me say that you would be a pretty unique person if you had none at all.  Well, you ARE unique - we all are.  But there are very few people in the world who have no burdens making it more difficult than it should be to reach their goals.

I first came across the concept of this kind of burden in John Bunyan's "Pilgrim's Progress".  The pilgrim, struggling to reach his goal, is carrying a massive pack on his back.  A bit like a soldier doing a "yomp" - you know the kind of exercise I mean, where some poor guy is struggling across difficult terrain with a bergen on his back containing 40 kilos of probably completely unnecessary equipment.  Sometimes there may even be bricks in the bergen just to increase the weight.  At least the soldier knows he is carrying this and he is doing so for a purpose - particularly to increase his endurance.  In the case of pilgrim, he wanted to get rid of his burden but had no idea how to do so.  He knew he had to get rid of it or he would never reach his goal.

We are all carrying burdens like this.  Unlike Pilgrim, most of us do not even know they are there, but that doesn't make the burden any lighter.

Some of those burdens are doubts.  We are ready to achieve our goal and believe we can do so.  But deep within us is a hidden doubt that we will ever get there.  The "doubt" burden is very heavy.  It is a bit like a new recruit putting 50 kilos in his bergen when he hasn't even practised with 20 kilos.  You must dissolve this burden by affirming daily that you have already achieved your goal, and knowing it is now simply waiting there for you to recognize it.

Other burdens are beliefs that what we are trying to achieve is wrong, or sinful in some way.  Again, this is usually a hidden burden.  As I have indicated in other blogs, you must work on this one by first meditating on your goal.  As you do so, see what feelings arise.  It could be that the inner feeling you had was right.  Perhaps this is not something for you.  But you may also find that those feelings are illogical.  They may have been planted there many years ago, perhaps when you were a child.  In fact there is strong evidence that some of them could have been planted there even further back than that.  When you identify a false belief of this kind I suggest you follow a ritual to get rid of it.  Begin by affirming your goal and associating it with a good feeling.  Then visualize the wrong belief as a chain tying your hands.  But it is really a weak chain.  Feel yourself breaking the chain by moving your hands upwards and outwards.  See the broken links of that chain falling to the ground, and then feel so grateful that this false belief has been destroyed.  Finish your meditation (for that is what it is) with an affirmation again.

I believe there are also other burdens preventing you from reaching your goals.  These burdens are what Franz Bardon called "astral larvae" in his book "Initiation into Hermetics".  You could also think of them as evil spirits.  Personally I do not see them as evil as such, but rather fairly unintelligent entities in the astral realm.  Whether or not you view them as evil spirits or astral entities that are neither good nor evil they are still something you don't want around you.  There are rituals you can use to protect yourself from astral larvae, some of which are largely based on Paul's letter to the Ephesians in chapter 6, verses 10 to 18.  You may also find Dion Fortune's book, "Psychic Self-Defence" helpful.  Alternatively, use exactly the same technique as I have suggested in the previous paragraph.

Work on removing your burdens and you will be surprised how much easier it is to reach your goals.

I have given links above to buy "Pilgrim's Progress", "Psychic Self-Defence" and "Initiation into Hermetics" if you feel any of these could be helpful.  The links are for payment in US dollars.  If you prefer to pay in £ sterling, use this link to "Pilgrim's Progress", this one to "Psychic Self-Defence" and this one to "Initiation into Hermetics".

Mindstate

Positive or Negative?

What is your prevailing mindstate?  Is it primarily positive or negative?

I believe it is important to maintain a positive mindstate as much as possible, for three different reasons.

Firstly, I believe that everything that happens to me originates from within.  If I constantly think negative thoughts, negative things will happen to me.  In other words, I strongly believe in the Law of Attraction.  Whatever I focus on most will be attracted to me, be it good or bad.  Why attract bad things when, if you choose, you can attract good things instead?

Secondly, I believe my state of mind spreads to those around me.  You don't have to believe in magic (which, personally, I do anyway) or any of the "new thought" philosophies (again, I do), to believe you "infect" those around you with your moods.  Imagine being in a room of people who are all in a bad mood and are showing this, for example, through their facial expressions.  How does that make you feel?  I would be most surprised if it made you feel happy!  Wouldn't you want to get out of that room as quickly as possible so you didn't become miserable?  Now imagine being in a room where everyone is happy.  True, some people do react badly to this, so it is not quite as simple as it seems.  But as long as there is not something deep within you that resents the happiness (for example if you have just lost a loved one) you will probably find the happiness is infectious too.

Lastly, if you have the choice of being happy or sad, which would you choose?  Surely you would wish to be happy wouldn't you?  If you have a positive state of mind you are much more likely to be happy than sad.  Happiness is not something external but rather comes from inside you.  The things that happen to you do not, of themselves, make you happy or sad.  They may trigger a happy or sad state of mind, but the key word here is "trigger".  It is not what happens itself that causes you to be happy or sad, but your state of mind.  So why not choose to have a positive state of mind that makes you happy.

Realistic Optimism

Recently I heard a so-called expert on the radio assert that the "normal" mindstate of British people is pessimism.  He berated those who are optimistic and said they should just accept the "normal" pessimistic state of mind which is the heritage of the British.

Why?  I am British, and I certainly do not accept this point of view.  I do accept that many are pessimists, and this is not restricted to the British.  Indeed, some sales trainers tell us that the way to motivate British buyers is to get them to move away from the things they fear rather than towards the things they want.  That may be true, but it doesn't have to be.

We can choose to be optimistic if we wish.  By all means realistic, but still optimistic.  By "realistic" I mean not always so expecting the best outcome that we are shocked and disappointed when it doesn't happen.  But by "optimistic" I mean knowing that good things will happen, even if there are sometimes some less pleasant interludes on the way.  Be prepared for the worst, but expect the best!

Victim Mindset

Many people have what is called a "victim mindstate".  They are always asking "why does this happen to me?"  They view themselves as always being the victim of unfortunate circumstances.  If you believe you are a victim you will interpret everything that happens to you in this way.

Notice the choice of words here - "happens to you".  Victims have a grandiose sense of their own importance.  Everything that happens is something happening to them.  Not impersonal.  Not just one of those things.  But a part of a universal conspiracy to make them miserable.  They are the centre of the universe.  Not a kind universe but an evil, threatening universe.

Guess what?  If that is the way you think you will start attracting those bad situations to you.  Even when you are in a good situation, though, you will manage to find something bad within it.  You will find the elements that support your view that you are a victim.

If you are a victim, escaping from this mindset is not easy.  But it is something you must do unless you want to stay miserable all your life.

The universe is not conspiring against you.  It wants nothing more than to give you all the good things you want and deserve.  But as long as you keep asking it for the bad things (which is what you are doing when you fall into the trap of the victim mindstate) it will give them to you.  As it says in Matthew 7:7 - "Ask and it shall be given to you".  That applies just as much, unfortunately, to the bad things in life as well as the good things.

I Make It Happen

Most of us fall into the victim trap from time to time, even if we do not generally have the victim mindset personality.  When it happens to you do NOT ask the question "why me?", or you are in danger of falling deeper and deeper into the victim mindset.  Instead, ask an empowering question.  Ask "what can I do to ...." - and fill in the gap depending on the circumstances.  "What can I do to make more money?"  "What can I do to attract a lovely partner?"  "What can I do to be happier?".  I am sure you can add many more examples.  The universe always answers your questions eventually, so by asking such questions you will be finding the ways to a better life.

Move from the state of "it happens to me" (the victim state) to that of "I make it happen".  Ask the right questions, and then make it happen by following the answers to those questions.

It Happens Through Me

Ultimately, you can then move again from "it happens to me" to "it happens through me".  This is the state in which you are allowing universal power to flow through you and bring good things to those around you.  By doing this you will find you are doubly blessed.  You will certainly feel good being the instrument of the universe in bringing all that is good to others.  But also you will find that as you give, so you will receive.  This is a universal law which cannot be broken.

For most of us, our mindset is not a permanent fixture but a fluctuating state.  Sometimes most of us will fall into the victim mindset unless we notice it starting to happen and take action to reverse it.  Try as much as possible to be in the "it happens through me" mindset.

Don't be taken in by those around you who try to tell you it is silly to be optimistic and the more realistic state of mind is the pessimistic one.  This is only true if you let it be true.  Don't become a victim, but become the one who creates happiness all around and luxuriates in that happiness!

Hypnosis

What do you think about hypnosis?

Does it work?  Is it just a party trick?  Is it safe?  Is it good or evil?  What should I use it for?

These are questions some of my subscribers have put to me when I have mentioned hypnosis.

There are, of course, many forms of hypnosis.  Some techniques you can use to hypnotize yourself.  Others are to hypnotize others.  Many can be used both on yourself and on others.  The answers to most of those questions depends on which forms of hypnosis you are using and particularly how you are using them.

Does it work?

"Does it work" is perhaps the easiest to answer.  In a word, YES!

The sub question "will it work for me?" is also quite easy to answer.  Yes, it will, as long as it is done properly.

Of course, whether it will achieve the results you intend is yet another question.  There is absolutely no doubt that hypnosis works.  But if you go into hypnosis in the expectation there will be instant dramatic results you may be disappointed.  There are certainly many documented cases of instant dramatic results, but you cannot rely on this being the case.  It is better to view hypnosis as a tool you can use in order to improve your own personal development, or that of others.  A tool you should use regularly, and which will gradually bring you closer to your objective.  If you DO get an immediate, dramatic result then that is a bonus.

Is it just a party trick?

A party trick?  Yes, some people use hypnosis that way.  Personally I do not like this use of what should be a very effective improvement technique.  But yes, there are some people who use it to manipulate other people on stage, getting them to do silly things, getting them to forget immediately something that has just been said to them, etc.  But this is not the form of hypnosis I am talking about here.

Is it safe?

Is hypnosis safe?  To be honest, that depends.

As I have already said many times, hypnosis is a tool.  A very useful and powerful tool.  Are tools safe?  If they are properly made and then used properly, yes they are.  But if you have a faulty tool, or use it inappropriately it can cause a lot of damage.

Before undergoing any form of hypnosis, whether it is self-hypnosis or conducted by a qualified hypnotherapist, you should be fully aware of the end goal and ideally should also be aware of the steps that will be used to reach that goal.  You should also be able to trust the person who is going to use it on you, or the person who has taught you to use it on yourself.  Follow these rules and hypnosis is safe.

Is it good or evil?

Is hypnosis good or evil?  Let me be clear about something right away.  Hypnosis is not a dark art practised by devil worshippers or some other evil cult.  Or perhaps I should rephrase that - it doesn't have to be a dark art.  As I said previously, it is simply a tool.  A tool is not, of itself, good or evil.  What is good or evil is the way in which it is used.

If you are particularly religious you should not worry about the practice of hypnosis in some way conflicting with or being against the precepts of your religion.  Does your religion tell you that it is evil to use a screwdriver?  I hope not!  But it probably does tell you that you should not use it to poke someone's eyes out!  Likewise, there is no reason why it should tell you that using hypnosis is wrong per se.  What is really key here is HOW you use it, what you are using it FOR.

How should hypnosis be used?

Which brings us to the final question.  What SHOULD you use hypnosis for?

Hypnosis can be used for many good purposes.  You can cure many different maladies with it, especially but not exclusively those that are concerned with your mental state.  For example many people use hypnosis to remove irrational phobias.  You can use it to strengthen positive aspects of your personality.  You can use it to remove mental and emotional blocks which are preventing you achieve what you want to achieve in life - and all of us have such blocks, so hypnosis can be useful for all of us!

The number 1 rule is that the purpose itself should be the right purpose.  Never, under any circumstances or for any reason, use hypnosis to make someone do something they do not want to do.  This applies whether or not you believe that purpose is a good purpose.  For example, if your partner smokes and you want them to stop smoking because it is bad for their health, do not start using hypnotic techniques to wean them off their cigarettes without their knowledge and permission.  To do so would be an evil act even if it is done with a good motive.  The same applies when using hypnosis on yourself.  Do not try to use hypnosis to achieve a certain result unless you are sure that is a result you really want to achieve.  I believe before you use self hypnosis you should meditate, focussing on whatever it is you want to achieve with the hypnotic techniques.  Use your intuition to determine whether or not this is the right thing for you.  Only proceed if it really is.

Hopefully I have put your mind at ease if you had any doubts about the value or morality of hypnosis, but also given you pointers to avoid using it in the wrong way.  Add hypnosis to your toolkit for self-improvement and I believe you will be amazed by the progress you can make.

How intuitive are you?

Stop a moment, without reading any more, and try to answer this question honestly.  Do you have any intuitive ability at all?  Is there even such a thing as intuition?  Answer these questions and then return to this article.

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Let me guess.  If you are male, did you answer that intuition is more of a female trait?  Wrong!  Intuition is not gender specific!  That is as incorrect as saying that females can multi-task and males cannot.  You believed that old wive's tale too?  Well, more on that in another blog!

Did you perhaps say that you do not have the gift of intuition?  Wrong again!  True some people seem to have the gift of being intuitive naturally and others don't.  But all actually have the gift - it is just more carefully hidden in some than in others.

Did you say that you are more of a left brain than a right brain person?  Well that really has nothing to do with intuition and creativity, no matter how often you may read online that it does.  If one side of your brain is more dominant than the other, that has very little to do with whether you are more rational or more intuitive.  Different abilities do tend to be associated with different sides of the brain, but this can vary from person to person, and also if someone suffers damage in one brain hemisphere it has been found they can transfer some of the functions associated with that side to the undamaged side.

Whatever reason you may have given to show why you are not really intuitive is actually totally wrong.  You are intuitive.  All of us are intuitive.

The definition of intuition is the ability to acquire knowledge without the use of reason.  This is a skill we need as a species.  If we had to reason every issue to the Nth degree we could not survive as a species - we would be killed by every major danger that arose before we had decided what to do about it.

Intuition is a very powerful ability when you use it properly.

If you run a business you may already be aware of this.  It is usually the first thought that comes to you that is the right one.  Especially when trying to assess people.  Most of us then spend the next few hours or days trying to justify logically, with the power of reason, what we already knew without any reason at all.  That is the power of intuition in action.

Have you ever noticed that you just have a feeling that something is not right?  You don't know why you have that feeling, but it is there deep within and it is very powerful.  When you ignore it, then something seems to go wrong.  Has that ever happened to you?  The next time you get that feeling, just walk away.  The feeling is right.  Something within you has recognized the danger even though there is no apparent logical reason for it.

Trust me in this.  You DO have the power of intuition.  You CAN use it, and use it very effectively.  But just like a muscle, you need to keep using it to make it more powerful, to take it to the point where you can gain great benefit from it.

Now that you know this, start listening for that inner voice.  Take note of what your intuition is telling you.  Use it to find what you should really be doing, what your true desires are, how you can develop yourself and become a better person.  All that knowledge is already there inside you, ready to come to the surface through the process we call intuition.

Money

Money is the root of all evil.  Right?  Wrong!

It is surprising how many people seem to believe this though.  Where does this belief come from?

Well, first it comes from a misquote from the Bible.  Yes, I did say "misquote".  Nowhere in the Bible does it say that money is the root of all evil.  What it does say is "For the love of money is the root of all evil" (1 Timothy 6:10).  Note the difference.  It is not money that the Bible says is evil, but the love of money.  Note also that it does not say something like "the love of things that money can buy".  Just "the love of money".

These days, though, there is perhaps another reason so many people believe money is evil.  If you are a banker please forgive what I am about to say.  There are now very many people in the world who blame all our economic problems on bankers and the money systems we have.

Finally, there is the myth of King Midas, who asked the god Dionyssus for the gift of turning everything he touched into gold.  Dionyssus told Midas to think very carefully about this request, but Midas insisted and Dionyssus granted his wish.  The gift, of course, was a curse.  It was not gold that could bring Midas happiness but rather the things that gold could bring him.  He found that he did not want everything he touched to turn into gold.  Especially not when he found he could not eat, as the food he touched turned into gold.  And very especially not when he hugged his beloved daughter and she turned into a golden statue.  There is a happy ending to the story of King Midas though.  He very quickly realised how foolish he had been and begged Dionyssus to take away this "gift".  Dionyssus told King Midas to wash his hands in the river.  This he did, and then he found that everything he had turned into gold had become normal again, including his lovely daughter.  For the rest of his life King Midas remembered that it was not wealth that was important but what wealth could bring, and so he distributed much of his wealth to the people in his country, who loved their generous king.

As with most myths and fables, the story of King Midas contains universal truths which we ignore to our peril.

The truth is that it is foolish simply to have money as a goal.  Why would you want money itself?  What is the point?  When searching for the goals that are most meaningful to you find those things that you really want, the things that you would buy if you had enough money.  It may well be that the way to get those things is to get more money, but not necessarily.  You could find, for example, that somebody simply gifts them to you.  A shortcut to obtaining your desire, rather than going the longer route of getting the money and then using that to buy what you want.

Also, if you look carefully at the story of King Midas you will see that he didn't give away all his money and live as a pauper when he saw the error of his ways.  He shared what he had, very generously, and made everyone around him wealthier, but he still had enough money to continue living his dreams.  Hopefully that is what you want to do too.

I love the story of King Midas, as it epitomises for me how I should be using the Law of Attraction.  I do have a certain amount of money as one of my goals on my vision board and in my "mind movies".  But it is not the money that I really focus on.  It is the other things.  The lifestyle I want.  The ability to help others.  The sense of security.  These are things that improve as my money base improves, but it is them that I focus on, not the money itself.

Do you want more money?  Good!  You can get it if you apply the Law of Attraction properly.  But one of the first steps you should take, an essential step which will lead to more money, is to clarify exactly what you want that money for.  Your desire should not be for the money, but for what it can give you.  Work on that and you can become very wealthy indeed!

How to Avoid Goal Traps

You may wonder why I am talking about "goal traps".  What exactly is a "goal trap" and why is it so important to avoid it?

Giving Up

I know of many people who have given up on goals for a number of different reasons.

Some have found they set goals in the past which they were never able to achieve.  This has happened to them so often that they have decided there is no point in having any goals.

Some have decided that having goals saps their energy and is tiring.  Far better, they argue, to have no goals and just lazily coast through life.

Some believe there is nothing they particularly want in life, so there is therefore no need for them to have any goals.

Hopefully you do not fall into any of these categories.  But even if you don't now it is possible you will fall into the trap of adopting one of these views at some point in the future, so I want to give you the ammunition now to stop this from ever happening.

Unrealistic Goals

Have you ever had any unrealistic goals?

This is really quite a difficult issue.  I strongly believe in the infinite power of the universe.  This power can achieve literally anything we want.  So how can any goal be unrealistic?

I would suggest the term "unrealistic" is relative rather than absolute.  Yes, it is true you can achieve anything you want if you really want it enough.  But there are two golden rules you must follow if you are going to achieve that goal.

First you must REALLY want to achieve it.  Not simply think it would be quite nice - if your desire is that wishy-washy you are unlikely to achieve anything at all unless it is very easy to achieve in the first place.  You must have a strong desire to achieve it.

Second you cannot have any negative thoughts about it.  This is perhaps the most difficult to achieve.  Say, for example, you are in a wheelchair and your goal is to become the first seriously disabled person to climb Everest.  Certainly that would be classified in most people's minds as an unrealistic goal.  It is not impossible, but the difficulties involved would probably make it seem so to even the most optimistic among us.  If you have chosen that as your goal, then very likely a little voice inside you will keep telling you it is unrealistic and that you have no hope of achieving it.  What makes it unrealistic is not so much the goal itself, but that voice which tells it IS unrealistic.  Unless you are able to avoid any such negative thoughts it is unlikely you will achieve the goal.

Goals Sap Your Energy

Do you find working towards goals is tiring?  Do you sometimes wish you didn't have to work so hard trying to reach goals?  If so, you could be in danger of slipping into the trap of feeling it is better simply not to have any goals in the first place.

This is a trap you simply MUST avoid.  Do anything and everything you can to avoid it.  Once you start on the slippery slope of feeling that goals sap your energy it is very difficult to escape from the trap.

The reality is living a life without goals saps far more energy from you than will the toughest goal.  Read this sentence again, as it is extremely important.  If you take nothing else away from this article, please at least remember this.  Living a life without goals saps far more energy from you than will the toughest goal.

Now you can see why I have called it a slippery slope.  In a goal-less life your energy is dissipated.  The more energy you lose the more difficult it becomes to change direction and start working towards goals again.

The truth is that the right goals do not sap your energy.  The wrong ones can though.  The ones that don't really inspire you and fill you with hopeful energy.  If you find yourself slipping into the "goals are so tiring" mode, you have to look again at the goals you are setting yourself, replacing them with ones that excite you.  As long as you do this you will find your goals energize you rather than sapping your energy.

Nothing You Want

This can be one of the most difficult traps to climb out of if you ever fall into it.  Saying "there is nothing I want in life".  It really is not true, but sometimes it can deceptively seem so.

There are a number of different reasons you might fall into this "goal trap".

Often people fall into it because of one of the earlier traps I have discussed.  They have given up on goals, found their goals were too unrealistic, found their goals sapped too much energy from them, and so they find it easier simply to say they simply don't have any goals.

Feeling there is nothing you want out of life can also be a symptom of depression.  This is a very dangerous condition, and if you believe it possible you are falling into it you really must do something about it.  Go and see a medical professional.  Also, you may find one of my earlier articles helpful.  Try reading my article on how to avoid sadness (http://iwanttoimprovemyself.blogspot.co.uk/2016/02/avoiding-sadness-five-point-plan.html), or the one on using music to ease depression (http://iwanttoimprovemyself.blogspot.co.uk/2015/09/using-music-to-ease-depression.html).

If you do believe there is nothing you want in life, then you should take some time to think about all the things that have made you happy in the past.  Think about the things that gave you a sense of achievement.  Dig beneath them and you will find other things that can inspire you and which could be realistic goals for you to target.

Avoiding Goal Traps

Try not to allow yourself to fall into any of these goal traps.  If you do fall into one, make sure you work on getting out.  Now you know what goal traps are it should be easier for you to recognize them when they arise, and easier for you to find a way out if you inadvertently do fall into one.